Promises of Mercy(Montana Promises-Book 1) (18 page)

She stepped next door and found Jennifer asleep. Her breathing was raspy and shallow. Not wanting to disturb her, Amber backed out and headed to the stairs. She could use the exercise to help clear her head. Only this morning had her inner thigh muscles recovered. And they’d been tight from more than riding the horse. At that thought, a smile formed. She sure was a lucky woman.

Chapter Twenty

At six o’clock on the dot, Cade knocked on her front door and Amber answered. He was dressed in a pair of black slacks and a fitted white shirt open at the throat.
Oh, my
. “Come in.”

He ran his gaze up and down her body. “You look amazing.”

She smiled, glad she’d taken the extra care to impress him. “So do you.”

Without a word, Cade drew her into a tight embrace and kissed her. Not only did his hard chest make contact, his hips did, too.
Without thinking where this could lead, she hooked her arms around his back and tugged him close. When their tongues met, they dueled and sparred as if this might be their last kiss—ever. His desperation made her blood soar.

Reason intruded, and she
palmed his chest. “We shouldn’t get started.”

“Why not?” He nibbled that wonderfully sensitive spot below her ear. “You don’t want to ride me?”

She laughed as his tongue tickled her neck. “Yes, but after we eat.”

He stepped away, looking amused. “Then food it shall be.” He tapped her nose. “Where’s your coat?”

She plucked it from the sofa and he led her out. After she locked the front door, Amber slipped into the front seat and buckled up.

Cade slid in. “You good with Thai food?”

“Love it.” She’d mentioned in passing how much she liked Asian cuisine.

“Excellent.”

Now she was glad she’d dressed up.

As he turned down Gold Avenue, she stared out the window, her hand aimlessly lifting and lowering her jacket zipper.

“—wrong?”

She
turned her attention back to Cade. “Sorry, what?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes.  I was thinking about Jamie and Ben.”

Cade glanced at her. “What about them?”

“I hadn’t wanted to mention this, but I made tentative plans to watch a movie at my house tonight with them—assuming they could have made it.”

“Shit, sugar.
We could have rescheduled. Why didn’t you tell me before?”

She let out an exasperated sigh. “Because it’s hard enough for us to find time to be together, and I can go out with Ben and Jamie any
time. Kind of like we did when Chris had been alive.” She continued to fiddle with the zipper on her jacket. “Besides, our plans were up in the air.” She looked down at her fingers, fighting some tears. “I’m not sure I’m ready to pretend everything is back to normal.”

“It takes time.”

“I know.” He understood. Cade had lost both of his parents.

“You always play with your zipper when something’s really bothering you,
though. Did Jamie say something to upset you? Is that why they aren’t coming over?”

She let go of the pull tab. “No. I cancelled.”
Damn
. She sounded too defensive.

“If not Jamie, was it Ben?”

“No.” She smoothed the hair behind her ear. “Ben’s… fine.”

“Sugar? You can tell me anything, you know.”

“There’s nothing to tell.” So as not to fidget anymore, she clasped her hands on her lap, but her damn leg wouldn’t stop bouncing.
Tell him something
.
Anything to shut him up.
“When I went up to the hospice floor to cancel the date with Jamie, Ben was visiting a sick relative.” She inhaled deeply. “There’s no crime in that.”

He draped a wrist over the whee
l, looking overly casual. “You seem bothered by this.”

“I’m not bothered.” She flattened her palms on her thighs so he wouldn’t say her actions implied something.

He glanced at her again. “I get the sense you have a concern about something you saw.”

“I didn’t see Ben do anything.”

His brow cocked. “I know Ben’s and Jamie’s friendship mean a lot to you. I also know that you don’t want to betray their trust or do anything that would hurt them.”

“No, I don’t.” She swiped the moisture from under her eye.

“Your patients’ well-being is one of your deepest convictions. You could never knowingly allow anything to happen to them either, could you?”

A ray of hope seeped in. He did understand. “No, I couldn’t.”

“Sometimes, conflict results between those two needs. That’s why I’d like to ask you a couple of questions.”

He was back to his cop mode. “About what?” She sniffled.

“I want to help you ensure your patients stay safe. What does your gut say about what Ben was doing?”

Chills danced up her spine. Trying to act casual, s
he shrugged. “Like I told you. He was checking up on a sick relative.”

“That’s good. What was he wearing?”

Her leg stopped moving. “What?”

“Was he in his usual lab coat like he’d come from the pharmacy, or was he
dressed in a T-shirt and jeans?”

“He was dressed for work. I don’t see what difference it makes.”

A large truck lumbered down the two-way highway in front of them, forcing Cade to slow.

He was acting like she was hiding something? She wasn’t.

“Okay,” Cade said. “Ben was visiting his cousin. Did he see you?”

She didn’t mind answering that. “Yes.”

“Did he wave you in and introduce you, or had you met his cousin before?”

Her stomach flipped. “No and no.” She then told him how Ben had rushed out of the room most likely because he didn’t want their talking to disturb the woman.

Cade inhaled deeply then let out a big exhale. “What are your instincts telling you about why he was in such a hurry?”

Her pulse sped up and sweat beaded on her forehead. “They’re not telling me anything.” She focused on the road ahead and ran her hands down her thighs. She faced him. “Have you been to this Thai House before? I know you love steak, but do they have something you like?”

“Amber. I can hear you’re upset. You don’t want anything bad to happen to Ben any more than I do.”

“I’m not upset. Why should I be upset?” Her neck itched, and she scratched it, glad to have something to distract her.

“Amber. Sugar.”

“What?’” She pressed her lips together and faced him, wishing he’d disappear.

“When Ben came out of the room, did he do something? Like touch you inappropriately?” There was a possessive grating to his voice.

“No! He kept his hand in his pocket the whole time.”

Acid rose to her throat. How dare he think Ben would ever cheat on Jamie. The image of him surfaced. She had to admit he looked kind of funny with his lab coat pulled tight against his body and his belly protruding. Usually, if he was just chatting in the hallway, he’d stand with both thumbs in his jeans pockets, looking casual.

“Just one hand?” Cade’s fingers unclenched from the wheel.

“I don’t remember.” She’d kept her gaze on Ben’s right wrist, which was at an odd angle. It was almost as if he was hiding something in his pocket.

“Amber?”

“Yes. One hand.”

She squeezed her eyes shut trying to picture Ben as he hovered over his cousin. He had acted a bit strange when he left the room, but it could have been because he was upset over her near death.

Then why did you look up the name of the patient to see if the two were related?
A tear leaked out.

Cade turned down First Avenue and slowed as he neared the restaurant entrance. He parked, cut the engine, and reached out to her. “Sugar. Please. This is hurting me, too.” His voice shook. “I think all this protesting is a cry for help. You want to tell yourself something, but fear is stopping you.”

Tears ran down her cheeks. “Why did Ben lie?” The words burned in her throat. “The woman he said was he cousin wasn’t his cousin.” Cade didn’t respond. He just held her hand. She choked out a sob. “He tells me everything. So why didn’t he tell me about his cousin—or whoever she was?”

Amber
pulled away from Cade’s grip and dropped her head in her hands. She cried even though she wasn’t sure why. Cade rubbed her back and let her grieve for the crack in their friendship. She finally sat up.

“Sugar. What is it that you can’t say out loud? It must be painful.”

Her body ached. Her brain screamed,
no, no, no.
Ben wasn’t supposed to be in the room. Her heart lurched. She wouldn’t go down that path. It was too dark, too terrible.

She sealed her lips, but the burgeoning doubt burst out. “He wouldn’t harm anyone, would he?” She paused. Every muscle tensed. “Do you think Ben was in the room to hurt that woman?” She grabbed her zipper again.

He held her gaze for an eternity. “I don’t know, sugar. Why don’t you tell me more about why your sixth sense is leading you there?”

She shook her head over and over again. “He ran away. A
nd Ben never moves fast.” She hiccupped as she sucked in a breath. “Oh, no.” Her gaze raced around. “That’s why he asked me about the Ativan dosage.” The reality of it all was too much. “Could he have been hiding a syringe in his pocket?”

Amber didn’t wait for Cade to answer. She pushed open the car door and
ran out, tears streaming down her face. She didn’t want to consider it. Ben was a good man. Noisy cars racing down the road made it hard to think.

Just
run!
As fast she could go in her stupid heels, she rushed down the sidewalk, not having any destination in mind.

Footsteps pounded behind her. “Sugar?” A second later,
Cade scooped her into his arms. Her feet kept kicking as he dangled her off the ground. “Shh.”

He set her down, turned her to face him, and held her tight. Amber lowered her face onto his shoulder. After having to deal with weeks of frustration over Chris’s accident and death, Sam Richland’s attack, and the possibility of Ben being a murderer, the dam broke. Sobs tore through her body, ripping her up inside.

“Oh, sugar.” Cade just held her and rubbed her back. “Shh. It’ll be okay.”

The tears wouldn’t stop, but Cade never let her go. Amber stood there a long time. Eventually, the fight eased out of her.

Her bottom lip trembled. “I don’t want Ben to be guilty.” Her insides shook. Ben had to be innocent. He just had to be.

He leaned back and swiped his thumb under her eye. “Don’t worry. W
e’ll figure it all out together.”

Chapter Twenty-One

Once she was more or less composed, Amber looked up at him. “I’m sorry I ruined the evening.”
She ran her hands down his chest. The soft material over the hard planes of his chest helped unbunch the knots in her stomach.

“You did no such thing.” He pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed what was probably mascara all over her face. “You had doubts about a good friend. That’s all.”

Is that all they were? Doubts? She hadn’t seen Ben doing anything illegal, so maybe her imagination had gone crazy from the stress. That’s all.

She took the cloth from Cade’s hand, extracted a mirror from her purse, and checked her appearance. “Dear God.”

He smoothed her flyaway hair. “You are a wonderful friend, Amber Delacroix. The best. You fought a good battle. You wouldn’t have tried so hard to keep from suspecting him unless deep in your heart you believed Ben wanted to help those people so much that he put them to sleep.”

She shook her head
, and then placed her cheek on his muscular chest. “If Ben is guilty, murder is still murder, but I’m not sure if he did anything.”

“I have to say a
ll of your evidence is circumstantial.”

She wanted to believe him.
“You’re right.”

He smiled. “That doesn’t mean I won’t be looking into his activities.”

It was his job to find the killer. “I know.”

Cade wrapped a comforting arm around her waist. “What do you say we
shelve the investigation until I’ve had another chance to look into this and have a nice dinner?”

She leaned into him and wiped her eyes again. “I’m good with that.” She prayed he found nothing concrete against Ben. Besides Cade and Stone, Ben and Jamie were all she had.

Cade walked her back through the parking lot. He opened the restaurant door and ushered her in. She hoped she could stop drawing any more terrible conclusions for the rest of the evening. Inhaling, she lifted her head high and walked in.

“Oh.”
This was better than sitting in the car with her dark thoughts. Much better.

The Thai
restaurant had subdued lighting, with warm-colored wall coverings. A large fish tank that lent serenity to the surroundings sat in the center of the restaurant. A pretty waitress in a red silk sheath showed them to a table nestled between two potted ferns. It was cozy and rather romantic.

Amber slid into the booth,
and Cade sat across from her.

He stretched an arm along the back. “So, have you recovered from all of our racing around on the horses last week?”

A small smile lifted her lips, and she let out a long breath. She appreciated his effort to take her mind off her meltdown. “Today was the first time I felt normal. I had no idea I was so out of shape.” She pressed a hand under one of her thighs, which it was still a little tender.

He leaned forward. “I’ll be honest. I was a bit sore, too. To keep fit, we should go out a few more times before it gets too cold
to ride.”

“I’d love that.” Nothing soothed her soul better than being outdoors.

The server came by for their drink orders. Given Amber’s recent mental lapse, she ordered a hot green tea instead of wine. Cade asked for an ale.

He tapped his fingers on the table. “I like you Amber Delacroix. A lot. You have integrity, and that means a lot to me.” Cade studied her for a moment, but she wasn’t uncomfortable
with his scrutiny. “I want to know what makes you tick. What drives you?”

He probably wanted to understand why an in-control oncology nurse almost had a psychotic break. “What drives me?” She shrugged. “I never thought about it.”

Kindness washed over his face. “How about if you tell me one thing that scares you.” He looked deep into her eyes.

Thinking Ben might really have harmed Chris.
“What does that have to do with what motivates me?” She kept her voice low.

“I just want to get to know you better.” He
leaned forward. “How about this? Tell me an event that happened a long time ago that you feel contributed to who you are today.” He unrolled the linen napkin and placed it on his lap. “It might have been something fantastic and inspiring, or an event you want to forget, but can’t.”

She’d already exposed a part of herself that was still so raw that nothing she said now could
further hurt her. “You mean like a secret?” Telling him about Rich had been hard, but she could think of only one other event that had scarred her for life. Hell, she was the first to believe honesty was at the core of everything. Look at Rich and how they’d failed. If only he’d been truthful sooner, the pain wouldn’t have been so bad.

“Yes.” Cade exhaled very slowly. “You know, sugar, being in a relationship with one man can be challenging. Being with two doubles it. I want to understand who you are in here.” He tapped his chest. “And up here.” He placed a finger on the side of his head.

The server came over and set a tea cup, a pot of hot water, and a teabag in front of Amber and an empty glass along with a bottle of ale in front of Cade. “Have you decided?”

“Give us a few minutes,” Cade said. The server nodded and left.

Needing a moment to compose her thoughts, Amber dunked her teabag in the pot of hot water and swirled it around. She didn’t meet his gaze. Instead, she continued to stir her tea. “I was twelve and Chris was six. He wanted to play hide and seek.” She glanced to the ceiling for a second. “It was his favorite game, mostly because I’d usually let him win.” She dipped the teabag again. “We were down by the river one afternoon where we often played. So as not to know where he hid, I would close my eyes, plug my ears, and count to one-hundred.”

“A six-year-old boy could get into a lot of trouble in that amount of time.”

“I found that out.” She drew in her bottom lip. She’d been careless, reckless, stupid. “This one time, I shut my eyes and began counting. When I finished, I went to his usual hiding places but couldn’t find him.”

“You must have been in a panic.”

“You have no idea.” She sucked on her cheek. “I was convinced my parents would lock me up for life if I let anything happen to my little brother. I promised my mom I’d watch Chris, and I didn’t.” Her damned chin quivered.

“But you found him.”

She sniffled. “Eventually. I spotted his shoes by the river and figured out what must have happened. I ran along the banks, shouting and crying. Then I spotted him wedged between two rocks.” She blinked back tears. “He was unconscious.” Her hand shook at the memory. It had been a long time since she’d thought about that day.

“Oh, sugar.”

Cade’s sympathy helped her heart to slow. “Later, Chris told me he’d spotted a fish jump in the river. Since it was summer, the water was merely cold, not freezing. He took off his shoes and waded into the middle. The problem was that the water rushed over the rocks really fast there. That was why he got knocked over and hit his head.” Her stomach churned.

Cade clasped his bottle with both hands. “I bet he was terrified.”

She shook her head. “Not Chris. Nothing bothered him.”

“Did you hear him scream?”

“No. My ears were plugged, and I was counting out loud.”

“Jesus, Amber.”

She tried to smile, but her lips wouldn’t stop trembling. “His mouth and nose were fortunately above water.”

Cade slowly shook his head as if he couldn’t imagine what she’d gone through. “You were so young. What did you do?”

“It wasn’t like we had cell phones or anything. I screamed for him to get up, but he didn’t. We were too far from the house for anyone to hear, so I waded in and managed to drag Chris to shore.” She shut her eyes, and the same movie replayed in her head. She shouldn’t be upset. This happened a long time ago. She opened her eyes to continue. “I ran home for help. Dad was there. He rushed back and carried Chris home. By then, he’d roused, but Mom insisted they go to the hospital.”

“But he was okay, right?”

“He had a concussion, but he recovered.” She looked at the fish slowly swimming in the tank. “My mother changed after that.” Amber returned her focus to Cade. “It was as if the thought of losing one of us was so great she retreated to some dark place. It got worse after Dad left.”

“She was afraid.”

“Probably, but I was afraid, too. It was my fault that Chris almost died.” A tear escaped. Was it for the six-year-old Chris or the man who was no longer?

“It was an accident.”

She tapped her temple. “My head knows that but not my heart.” Other than her family, Amber had told no one that story, but even after all this time, it helped to say the words. “What about you? Got any secrets, besides your father’s indiscretions?” She swiped the white linen napkin across her eyes.

All
hint of cheer evaporated. “Do you promise under penalty of death to keep what I tell you between us?” The concern he’d shown a moment ago had turned hard.

Did
Stone know about Cade’s big secret? “Promise.”

He nodded. “I’d mentioned that on my fifteenth birthday, my mom told me my dad had been a bank robber.”

“Yes. Which was what motivated you to go into law enforcement.”

“Mostly. But there was another trigger. There was this skinny kid in my advanced algebra class. His name was Leonard Bird. He didn’t talk much
and didn’t have many friends.”

“That’s sad.” If it weren’t for her support system, she’d be a total mess. “But you became his friend?”

“Not at first. I didn’t want to get close to anyone back then.”

As a nurse, s
he’d met a lot of teenagers who were withdrawn. “Were you afraid he’d find out about your dad if you hung around together?”

“Yes, and the fact Mom and I were poor.”

“What about Stone?” She tried to picture what they were like back then. Was Cade a macho kid and a bit of a bully, or had his stern exterior developed later?

“We didn’t hang out together in high school. He was two years younger.”

Her tea finished steeping, and she removed the bag. She blew on the steam rising off the top.

Clearly, Leonard was an important part of his story. “Was Leonard ever mean to you? Is that why you didn’t want him to learn about your background?” It would be terrible if Leonard let it out that Cade’s dad
had been a criminal.

He shook his head. “No. I didn’t tell anyone about my family. Until Stone. And then you.” Her heart soared that he trusted her so much. Cade drank from his bottle as if he needed a moment. “It was early in the year, and I’d come to math class without my expensive calculator
. It was the kind that drew graphs. I had worked at a gas station all summer to save for it. Then one day it disappeared. For some reason I thought Leonard had taken mine.”

She tried to put herself in his shoes. Cade would be too proud to tell the teacher. “Did you steal his?”

He winced. “Yes. I thought if my dad could steal, why couldn’t I?”

She pressed her lips together. Poor Cade. “I’m sorry.”

He dragged a thumbnail down the label to peel it off. “Not noble. I know.”

“Did Leonard suspect you?”

“He didn’t say anything. About a week later, I was rummaging through my locker and found mine under a pile of papers. I felt like shit. We’d had a test that week, and Leonard had to take it without his calculator. He failed it, and I never forgave myself.  When I placed the one I’d taken back on Leonard’s desk, I thought he hadn’t seen me. But he had.”

Her heart went out to both boys. “What did he say?”

“That his mom couldn’t afford to buy him a new one, but that he knew I needed it more.” He looked away. “That’s when I knew stealing was really wrong. It was then that I decided to atone for all the people my father hurt.”

Now it was her turn to place her hand on his. “Whatever happened to Leonard?”

“We became best friends, but he didn’t come back his junior year—don’t know why—and I never heard from him again.”

“Why didn’t you look for him?”

His chin drew in. “I was a kid. I honestly had other issues I was facing back then.”

“Why not now? Maybe you can reconnect on Facebook. There can’t be too many Leonard Bird’s, especially if he listed Rock Hard as his high school.”

He smiled and her insides lit up. “See? You are a romantic.”

“Well, if that happened to me, I’d want to learn my friend’s fate.” She wouldn’t blame Cade if didn’t believe her, especially given her recent suspicion. She prided herself on being a true friend, but clearly, with Ben, she’d turned into a Judas. The guilt tore her up.

“Maybe I’ll check him out.” He nodded to the menu when the server returned. “See anything you like?”

She studied her choices and selected the Pad Thai. Cade ordered the same.

All through dinner she thought back to how one small event in a person’s life could stick with him for a very long time. As an adult, she knew it wasn’t her fault her daredevil brother had gone into the stream to chase the jumping fish. She was equally convinced her parents should have warned them about the dangers of playing in the water. Still, she felt guilty Chris had nearly drowned.