Promising Angela (13 page)

If she tried to form a relationship with other Christian people, would they react the same way as Ben had when they learned about the foolish things she’d done? Would they be able to look beyond the old Angela to the Angela she was trying to be with God’s help? How she wanted a support system of believers, but she didn’t think she could take being turned away time and again when others learned about her past mistakes.

God, I want a support system of believers. I need help right now. People who will pray for me and help me grow in You.

Pastor Joe brought the study to an end with a gentle admonishment to trust God to know what’s best even if it doesn’t make sense. “God’s ways aren’t our ways, and He sees what is waiting around the bend even when we can’t. Let us walk in faith on the pathway He directs, trusting it will always be in our best interests.”

He mentioned the prayer needs of the church membership, welcomed a few more requests from the attendees, and then dismissed the people to gather in small groups for prayer. Angela watched as some people rose and left the sanctuary and others shifted their chairs to create groupings. Her heart pounded with the desire to join one of those groups, to be a part of praying.

She glanced around the room, seeking Ben—he would at least be one familiar face. But then she saw him again in her memory, his disapproving frown, and she heard his admonishing words. Joining Ben’s group would be a mistake. Why set herself up for more rejection?

So she remained in the corner, separated from the others. Loneliness smashed down on her, bringing the sting of tears. Lowering her head, she closed her eyes. Even if she wasn’t part of a group, she could still pray. She sorted through the requests mentioned by the minister, lifting them one by one to the heavenly Father. And when she’d completed the list, her thoughts returned to her own needs.

Dear Lord, I need … friends. People like Noah had with his family, people to support me and help me in the task You’ve given me. Please, Father, won’t You bring some friends into my life?

Her prayer was interrupted by the touch of a hand on her shoulder. Her heart leapt in hopefulness. Ben?

Angela’s eyes popped open and she raised her head, a smile forming on her face without conscious thought. The smile wavered when she found not Ben but Pastor Joe standing beside her chair. She pushed the disappointment aside and greeted the man in a whisper.

“Hello. I—I enjoyed the study this evening.”

Pastor Joe grabbed a chair and slid it across the linoleum floor. He placed it next to her then sat down, his gentle smile lighting his eyes. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He kept his voice low, too. “It’s good to see you here on a Wednesday evening. I hope you’ll make our Bible study a regular part of your week.”

She nodded, eagerness filling her. “I’d like that. I know I have a lot to learn.”

The pastor smiled. “Is there a prayer need I can address for you?”

He had a kind face, and Angela found herself feeling very at ease with him.
Surely a minister won’t turn away from me if I share my failings, will he?
She searched his face and, seeing only interest, found the courage to share her deepest secrets.

“Yes. There is.” She swallowed the nervous giggle that tried to find its way from her throat. “And it’s a biggee.”

The minister laughed softly. “There’s nothing too big for God. What is it?”

“I need friends.” Blurted out that way, it sounded childish. And selfish. Thinking about the other requests—a sister who fought cancer, a man who lost his job, a family whose house was destroyed in a fire—Angela felt heat climb her cheeks at her own audacity in requesting prayer for something so frivolous.

But the minister didn’t even blink. “You don’t have friends?”

Angela grimaced. “Well, I do … kind of.” She took a deep breath. “You see, four months ago I had a huge circle of friends. They’re still out there, but I don’t feel like I can be with them anymore. With those friends, I started using drugs. Then I provided drugs for a party. I got caught, and a judge gave me a one-year sentence. I spent the first two months of the sentence in drug rehab, and now I’m serving the remainder in community service.”

Pastor Joe simply nodded. His gentle face showed no shocked recrimination.

Grateful for his acceptance, Angela plunged on. “I became a Christian while I was in drug rehab, and I really want to do things right now. I don’t want to mess up. But I haven’t found very many people who are Christians who want to be my friend. The drug thing …” She sighed, Ben’s face once more appearing in her memory. “Well, it gets in the way. And I can’t be with my old friends because they still do things I shouldn’t be doing now that I’m a Christian. So …” She held her hands out in a gesture of futility. “I’m … alone.”

Leaning forward, the minister rested his elbows on his knees. His relaxed position helped Angela set aside the remainder of her worries about rejection. “First of all, let me assure you of one thing—you aren’t alone. Ever.”

Angela nodded. Aunt Eileen had told her the same thing.

“You have a built-in support system with the Holy Spirit, and He is an ever-present friend on whom you can depend.

But”—he smiled—”that having been said, I understand the need for earthly friends. Like-minded people of faith who will not only support you in your Christian walk, but who will also be there to hang out with, have fun with. Fellowship is important, too.”

Angela nearly sagged with relief. He didn’t think she was being silly! She leaned forward, eager to have her next question answered. “So how do I find these friends? My experience has been that some Christians are so put off by my past, they can’t accept me today.” It stabbed her heart to say the words, yet they were truthful. She desperately needed this man’s advice.

The minister’s face pulled into a slight scowl. “I’m sorry you’ve encountered judgmental attitudes. I understand why people react that way. Sin is difficult to face when you try so hard to avoid it. Yet Christ encourages us to look past the sin to the sinner, to love the sinner in spite of the sin.” Tipping his head, he added, “Now, that doesn’t mean we blithely accept the sin. We must caution those who walk in darkness that they’re choosing an unhealthy pathway. We want to guide them to the light. But we must admonish in love. Do you understand the difference?”

Angela puckered her lips as she considered what he’d said. Was it possible Ben had tried to do what the minister mentioned? Admonish her in love? Perhaps his words weren’t so much of condemnation, but of concern. Oh, she hoped so! Pastor Joe waited for a response. She believed she understood what he meant, so she nodded.

His gentle smile returned. “Angela, I believe you will discover many Christians are able to love the sinner in spite of the sin. Please don’t dwell on those who have chosen to judge you. Forgive them for hurting you and move on. Also, use the experience to help you react kindly to those you encounter with less-than-perfect pasts. That way you’re using the experience for good.”

Angela hoped she would never make anyone feel as soiled as Ben—whether intentionally or unintentionally—had made her feel. She returned to her original question. “So where do I find these Christians who will be able to accept my past?”

“Well …” Pastor Joe sat up, raising his shoulders in a shrug. “As a matter of fact, we have something coming up that might be just what you’re looking for. Wait here. I’ll be right back.” He rose and strode from the room while Angela waited, licking her lips in anticipation. When he returned, he handed her a folded brochure. “Our young adult singles are traveling to Camp Fellowship, near the Oklahoma border, for a three-day retreat over Labor Day weekend.”

Angela examined the brochure while he continued.

“There will be Bible study classes, as well as activity periods with opportunities for small groups to gather and several large group functions. It’s a weekend meant to grow young adults in their Christian walks, and also to bolster relationships among the attendees. It would be a way for you to get better acquainted with our young adults, and perhaps friendships can be formed that will continue after the retreat.”

Angela’s heart thumped in hopefulness. “Do you really think it would be okay for me to go? I mean, considering my past …”

The man took the brochure and seemed to examine it closely, his brows tugged down. When he looked at her, his eyes sparkled with mischief. “I saw nothing in there that says rehab graduates need not apply.”

Despite herself, Angela laughed. “Okay. I’ll fill this out tonight and write a check. Thank you for telling me about it.”

“You’re welcome.” Pastor Joe placed his hand on Angela’s shoulder. “Angela, being a new Christian is tough. It’s like a baby learning to walk—lots of stumbles and scrapes and bruises. But the more you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue to try, the stronger your legs will grow. I’ll be praying for you as you get your Christian feet under you.”

His image became blurred as tears filled her eyes. His kindness touched her, easing the bruises Ben’s censure and her friends’ unkind treatment had left on her heart.

“Let’s pray right now.” He lowered his head, folded his hands, and began petitioning the Lord on Angela’s behalf.

Angela listened, his words wrapping around her like a warm blanket, soothing her and assuring her God was listening. By the time he’d finished, she felt certain God had planned for her to attend tonight so she’d learn about the retreat weekend. She could hardly wait for Labor Day to arrive to see what friendships God would provide.

He ended his prayer with an amen then said, “Just drop the registration tear-off in the office on your way out.” He rose. “And enjoy the retreat.”

“I will. Thank you.” Angela hurriedly filled out the registration form, wrote her check, and headed for the office.

Ben lifted his head after completing his prayer and spotted Pastor Joe with Angela, their heads bent in prayer. Relief rushed through his chest. If Pastor Joe were to begin mentoring Angela, he could back off—be relieved of his self-imposed responsibility.

But what if it wasn’t self-imposed? What if it was God’s prompting that had made him want to reach out to Angela in the first place?

He pushed that thought aside. Surely God wouldn’t expect him to go through the heartache of witnessing someone’s descent into drug addiction. God loved him too much to put him in a position destined to bring him despair. It was better to allow Pastor Joe to assume mentoring with Angela. Pastor Joe was stronger, better equipped to deal with Angela’s special needs.

Rising from his chair, he said good-bye to the members of his prayer group and promised to continue praying for their needs over the course of the week. The others offered their good-byes and moved toward the foyer area, but one member of the group, Stephanie, stopped Ben with a manicured hand on his arm.

“Ben, do you have any needs I can pray for this week?”

Ben looked into Stephanie’s brown eyes. In the past, he’d gotten the impression that Stephanie would like more than a casual acquaintanceship, but he saw no hint of coquettishness in her expression. Deciding she was sincere, he nodded.

“As a matter of fact, there is. It’s something related to …” He paused, uncertain how to phrase things to make sense without giving too much away. Then he realized he didn’t need to give Stephanie the details. God knew the details. A simple request would be sufficient. “If you’d pray for God’s will in a situation at my workplace, I would appreciate it.”

Stephanie didn’t pry—just offered a smile and a nod. “I’ll certainly do that.” Her fingers tightened on his arm. “And you be sure and keep me updated, will you? I always like hearing the praise reports.”

Ben quirked one brow, grinning. “Oh, believe me, if there’s reason to praise, you’ll hear about it.”

“Good.” She removed her hand, but her bright smile invited further conversation.

“So did you sign up for the singles’ retreat? I’m really looking forward to it. The speaker they’ve secured is supposed to be very good.”

Ben had heard that, too. “Yes, I did sign up. And I’m glad you mentioned it, because I need to remember to put in a request for early leave on the Friday before Labor Day. My boss will need to cover the close-down duties that day.”

They continued to visit, discussing the retreat and who all had signed up to go. Then the conversation lagged, and Stephanie glanced around the room. “Oh! I didn’t realize we’d been chatting so long. Everyone else is gone.”

Ben noticed, too, for the first time that no one else remained in the sanctuary. He hadn’t even seen Angela leave. A feeling of regret niggled, but he pushed it aside with a light chuckle. “We’d better clear out. The custodian is probably eager to shut things down for the night.”

“Yes.” Stephanie fixed him with a sweet smile. “Would you like to go grab a cappuccino or something? Talk a little more?”

Ben groped for an adequate response. Part of him was tempted. Stephanie was attractive, and spending time with her would certainly help remove thoughts of Angela from his mind. Yet he realized accepting her invitation might give her the impression of interest in her, which didn’t exist. He wouldn’t use her to soothe his own concerns.