Proper Secrets (30 page)

“Once you have refreshed yourself, I hope to have the pleasure of dancing with you again, Miss Worthing,” said Capt. Wingrave.
 
He smiled, knowing he tested her patience.

“Thank you, I’ll be happy to dance, again,” said Emily.
 
She drank her punch in front of him with agonizingly slow progress.
 
He continued smiling, an infuriating gesture of serenity.

Emily glanced about the room, and started at seeing the Cantons in attendance.
 
Fortunately for her nerves, Dinah was not with them.
 
Shrugging it off, Emily sipped again.

When at last she had finished, Capt. Wingrave raised his eyebrows in satisfaction.

“Shall we?” he said.
 
Emily nodded.
 
They did not speak for several steps.

“How has your day been, Miss Worthing?” he inquired.

“With the exception of seeing Peter, rather disheartening,” said Emily.

“I am sorry to hear that, but how is it possible that you can be disheartened with your friends around you?”

“It’s a lesson I’ve been learning these last few months, that friends can be disappointing.”

“Friends, family, humans.
 
You’re putting your trust in the wrong race if you wish to be constantly transparent and in lock step with your fellows.
 
I, for example, have had the great agony of a promise being broken to me this very day, but I am not in ill spirits,” said Capt. Wingrave.

“Dare I ask what promise has been broken?”

“You don’t remember?
 
Made by yourself, you promised me that I could have every dance.”

“Before, when I thought you cared enough for me to stay my friend, I made that promise.”

“There were no conditions attached, unless you are positing that there are certain circumstances under which a promise can be broken.”
 
Emily glared at Elijah’s smug grin.
 
She wanted to say something that would hurt him, that would cause him the pain she had felt, but none of the venomous words would be spoken.

“In making friends here, I took your advice.
 
Was it not you who criticized my lack of knowledge?
 
I have been studying the masculine sex as suggested, and I still find them wanting.
 
It is by your design really, that I made an effort to know Mr. Corey, and Mr. Sharp,” said Emily, “It would be rude to befriend them, and then refuse to dance.”
 
Capt. Wingrave scoffed.

“You would search out men of character among the high ranking gentlemen of Dunbarrow?”

“Should I instead venture onto the battlefield and seek a husband there?
 
I’ve been to the country, and the city, and none of my examples of manhood fit your idea of experiencing men.”
 
Capt. Wingrave laughed.

“If you are naturally drawn to men like Mr. Corey it is no wonder why your examples don’t fit my ideas.”
 
Anger tinted Emily’s cheeks.

“Do your ideas include men that keep secrets?” said Emily.

“My ideas include men who act justly, with attention to their duties that spring from love.”

“Some love.
 
Not all.”
 
The bitterness drew Capt. Wingrave up short.

“I am a damned man, Miss Worthing, destined to choose who I hurt, instead of whether I shall.
 
Would you choose your lover over your mother and father?
 
Your brother and sisters?
 
Would you gratify your own happiness at the cost of theirs?” said Capt. Wingrave.

“You’ve been duped then, Capt. Wingrave, into thinking that your family has been made at all happy by the deception you so valiantly uphold.
 
They may still be in good standing in society, but they are miserable.
 
I would give up my station and live as a milkmaid before I let it hold me captive,” said Emily.
 
She walked away from the dance, mid-step, followed closely by the Captain.
 
There were whispers, but with a polite nod from Capt. Wingrave, they were dispelled.
 
Emily plotted a course for the cool air of the courtyard, hoping it was just as empty.
 
With the exception of a few inebriated guests, it still was.

“You can make that choice for yourself, but what about your family?
 
What about the servants and services they employ?
 
We are noble by birth, and while that comes with privilege, it comes with responsibility.
 
We are not single entities, making decisions for only ourselves.
 
Would you also turn your mother, Bridget, and Genevieve into hardworking milkmaids?” said Capt. Wingrave.

“That is not my circumstance,” muttered Emily.

“No, but it is mine.
 
If you cannot or will not see the love behind my choices, then you are not as I thought you were,” he said.

“At least you’ve had the opportunity to accurately make out my character.
 
If it displeases you at last, then I can only bid you good day, sir.”
 
Emily kept her eyes locked with his.

“You have never displeased me,” he said, “Just as I am not displeased with the rain for causing a flood.
 
The rain is beautiful, and necessary, just as you are.”

“Stop this!
 
Everything you say is confusing.
 
Why did you falsely propose to me if you wouldn’t choose a lover over your family?”

“Had my offer been accepted, I would have, in a way, chosen you over them.
 
I would have said farewell to them, and disassociated myself from the house of Wingrave, so that they could live without fear of my choice, and I could live with the greatest part of my happiness.
 
It would not be the impeccable connection I can offer a lady as the heir to Landhilton, but I had hoped you cared enough for me that it would not matter.”
 
His eyes offered her his hand again, even if he did not speak the words.

“You would ask me to sentence you to a life without your family?
 
Do you think I am selfish enough to accept something so against your best interests?” said Emily.

“It is as I expected then, a hopeless business.
 
Allow me to return you to your family,” said Capt. Wingrave.
 
Emily accepted his escort, feeling as if every step were her last in his company.
 
Elijah was silent for a long time after that, leading Emily back to her mother where Mr. Corey waited.

“Miss Emily?
 
May I ask permission to visit you in the morning?
 
It is of great import,” said Mr. Corey.
 
Capt. Wingrave stiffly stood, waiting for her answer.

“If it is important, I can spare a moment in the morning,” said Emily.
 
Mr. Corey nodded his thanks and took leave.
 
Emily took Capt. Wingrave a few steps away to say goodbye.

“It has been… an enlightening evening, sir.
 
I wish you well,” she said.

“Do not accept his proposal out of spite,” he said, “You’ll come to regret it.”
 
Emily gazed at him in shocked hurt.

“I would not compromise my entire future that way.
 
If I accepted, it would be out of sound judgement.”

“No sound judgement could lead you to him.”

“This is hardly any of your concern,” mumbled Emily.

“It is, as his rival.
 
Why do you think he chose to ask for a meeting in front of me?”

“You cannot rival someone when you’re not in competition,” said Emily.
 
Capt. Wingrave smiled again.

“You may only take me out of the competition when you no longer think of me, and I’ve already explained that you were thinking of me profusely.”

“Yes I was, thinking of how much you hurt me, over and over again.
 
You come with shadow, and I will not live in it.”

“That is not at all how I would have you remember me,” he said, raising her hand to his lips.
 
Elijah circled around her, and bent close to her ear.
 
“I knew when I saw you at Fort Jennings that despite trying to end this, I would never stop offering myself up to you.
 
I will always be waiting for you to choose me.”
 
Emily could not turn for a full ten seconds, and by then Capt. Wingrave was gone.
 
She could find him nowhere at the ball, or in the manor.
 
His disappearance made her so unhappy that Emily cried herself to sleep that night.

“Mr. Corey to see you, ma’am,” said the maid.
 
Lady Worthing, Emily, and Bridget stood to welcome their visitor.
 
He made no hesitation in stating his purpose.

“Good day, Lady Worthing, I was hoping to be granted a private audience with Miss Emily this morning.”
 
Lady Worthing nodded, barely letting her surprise into the look she gave Bridget.

“Bridget and I will see to tonight’s table setting,” said Lady Worthing.
 
Bridget flinched, knowing what Mr. Corey sought in juxtaposition with her own troubles, and thinking of table settings, which did not interest her in the least.

“Yes, Mama,” said Bridget.
 
They exited with rushed decorum only to mill about in an adjacent sitting room to wait for news.
 
Emily smiled at Mr. Corey, a polite, but unexcited show of civility.
 
He slowly stepped toward her.

“Miss Emily, I have not had the pleasure of meeting many women with your qualities.
 
In addition to superb breeding, you are accomplished, beautiful, and possess great humility.
 
As an Annesley, I feel the responsibility upon myself and Edward to choose spouses of sense as well as station.”
 
Mr. Corey paused to walk around the room, though whether he prolonged his purpose intentionally, Emily did not know.
 
Something about how he included Edward Annesley in his speech struck her.
 
Spouses of sense?
 
Was that something impressed upon the Annesley heirs?
 
She kept the thought for later examination.

“Upon recognizing your superiority over all other women, I endeavored to secure your affection, and to convey mine,” Mr. Corey said as he stopped his stroll in front of her and took one of her hands.
 
“I feel that one day, I will love you as greatly as any hero in a tale.
 
So, it is my prerogative here today, to inform you of my intent to make you an offer.”

Emily waited, for any sort of continuation, but Mr. Corey spoke no further, and obviously thought he had said something of importance.

“I confess, Mr. Corey, to a bit of confusion as to how I should reply.
 
You are telling me that you will propose?”

“Yes,” he said with pride.

“I thank you, then, for the information,” she said.

“You are most welcome.
 
I did not want to leave you with any doubts,” said Mr. Corey.

“Peter!” came a muffled cry from the hall.
 
The door was summarily thrown open and Peter came into the room with no ceremony or acknowledgement that he had just interrupted a private conversation.

“Good morning sister!
 
Isn’t it a bit early for guests?” said Peter.

“You may be correct sir, I shall be on my way.
 
Miss Worthing,” said Mr. Corey, smiling and giving Emily a wink.
 
When he had gone, Emily turned to her brother.

“That was abominably rude.
 
I’m sure Mama told you that Mr. Corey asked specifically to speak with me, alone,” Emily chided him.

“I could not let that reach a conclusion.
 
He may have been so pitiful that you were induced to accept him.”

“Well, it had concluded,” Emily huffed, and left for the other sitting room where her mother, and Capt. Wingrave waited.
 
Bridget had not obsessed over the outcome then.

“Do you mean to tell me he proposed?” said Peter, following her into the room.

“Peter,” she hissed.

“So, that was a smile of success?” Peter asked with incredulity, causing alarm all around.

“Really, Peter!
 
Have you gotten so coarse over your military service that you’d discuss such things out in the open?” said Emily.
 
Lady Worthing was so caught up that she said nothing, waiting only for the final word from her daughter, while Capt. Wingrave’s shadowy temper took over his face.

“Fine,” he said, dragging her back into the hallway, “Now answer the question.”

“What has gotten into you?
 
This is none of your business,” said Emily.

“If you accepted him, I may disown you,” said Peter.

“What a horrible thing that would be, to have you never speak to me again, of your Captain and your notions!”

“Little sister…
 
Do not forget who knows you best.
 
I could, if prevailed upon, recite many instances during your childhood that you would wish to keep secret, and perhaps Mama would join me in mirth.
 
I’m sure the Captain would be most diverted,” said Peter.
 
Emily worked her mouth like a fish, opening and closing with no sound.