Protect Me (18 page)

“Done,” I tell him, already throwing my legs over the side of the bed.
 

“Take it easy and if you experience any dizziness or pain, please come back in as soon as possible,” he states before exiting the room.
 

“What room is Nathan in?” I ask as I wait for the nurse.
 

“208 in the pediatric wing,” Chief says. I know that wing all too well. My niece, Bean, was a patient for four days almost two years ago, due to pneumonia. Those first two days were the scariest damned days of my life.
 

As soon as the nurse comes in and I throw my chicken-scratched name across the form, I take off towards the elevator. Chief hangs with me, apparently accompanying me to the room. Then it hits me that I don’t have a ride, and the realization that Chief is stuck here with me until I decide to leave settles over me.
 

I spend the next hour with Nathan in his brightly colored room, playing with the matchbox cars I picked up at the gift shop that I walked by. His mother hugged me no less than a dozen times and followed each hug up with a big, “thank you.” The nursing staff is in and out of his room and assure his mother - and me - that the young boy will make a complete recovery. They are keeping him overnight due to the smoke inhalation, but anticipate that he’ll be going home - or going to his grandmother’s house - sometime tomorrow.
 

When the clock on the wall reads eleven-thirty and my eyelids are barely able to stay open, Chief and I leave the room and head towards the elevator. I was supposed to be off at six this morning and my tired mind wanders back to Lia. I missed seeing her this morning. I enjoy the hour or so I hang back while she opens the bakery and serves the early morning customers. I love to sit along the back counter and watch as she interacts and laughs with the town folk. Now, by the time I get back to the station, clean up, and head for home, it’s going to be early afternoon.
 

When I got back to the station, my team was waiting for me. We bullshitted about the fire and they asked about my trip to the hospital and the status of Nathan, so it is even later than I thought it would be when I finally got on the road after the world’s fastest shower. The drive back to Rivers Edge seems to be the longest I’ve ever experienced. And the lukewarm too-
strong coffee from the station just isn’t cutting it any longer. When I hit the “Welcome to Rivers Edge” sign on the edge of town, it was the first time I really took a deep breath since I entered that burning building.
 

Three times. That’s how many times I made a grab for my phone so I could text or call Lia before the black screen reminded me that my battery was dead. I pull the Mustang into the back lot and make quick work of getting to the back door of the bakery. I’m exhausted. Bone tired. But the thought of seeing Lia has given me a second wind.
 

I throw open the door and scan the warm kitchen. Avery comes through the swinging door and glares at me. Glares. The kind of look I imagine she gives one of her children when she’s unhappy and wants them to know it. A look I’ve seen from my mother. Avery has it perfected.
 

“Nathan Michael Stevens, where the hell have you been?” she fumes, hands angrily perched on her hips.
 

“Uh, hi to you too, Ave,” I say, trying to lighten the mood a little before I dive into the story of where I’ve been.
 

“No. Don’t you do that,” she scolds as tears fill her blue eyes. “I get here around ten o’clock and Lia is a freaking mess. Then, Mom calls me asking about where you are. Apparently, she saw the fire on the news. We’ve been calling and calling you for over three hours,
Nathan!”
 

Shit. The news. “Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t call.  My battery on my phone died, and I left the charger at home,” I reply.
 

“Are you okay?” she asks as she swallows hard and fights to keep the tears from escaping her eyes.
 

I don’t hesitate as I stalk towards her and throw my arms around her. She’s so tiny and petite in my arms, much like Lia. “I’m fine, I promise. Where is Lia?” I ask, looking over her shoulder and out into the storefront of the bakery.
 

“I sent her home an hour ago. She was a mess. When I got the call from Mom, she overheard most of the phone conversation. I asked her if she had heard from you or seen you and she just sort of panicked,” Avery says.
 

Shit. “I need to go up and see her,” I tell her as I release Avery from my grip and head towards the door.
 

“I’ll call Mom and tell her that you’re okay. She’s been worried sick and I’m sure she has everyone on standby, waiting for an update.”
 

“Thank you, Ave. I owe you,” I tell her as I head out the door.
 

“I want the whole story, Nate,” she says as I slam the door closed behind me. I take the stairs two at a time until I reach the platform before her door. I don’t even knock. I can’t. I need to see her.  Now.
 

“Lia?” I holler as I let myself inside her
apartment. “Lia!” I say firmly as I head towards the hallway.
 

My beautiful angel walks out of her bedroom with red-rimmed, puffy eyes. Relief floods through me when I see her, and I watch as she does the same. She gives me a look-over and checks me from head to toe and then back up again. I advance and she’s in my arms a second later. I inhale her sweet scent. Her shampoo washes away the smell of burnt wood and smoldering plastic that is etched in my nose. Her arms wrap firmly around my neck as I practically squeeze the daylights out of her. I just can’t get close enough to her.
 

“You’re here,” she whispers against my shoulder.
 

“Yeah, I had a little delay,” I say, still holding her tightly against my chest. I can practically feel her erratic heartbeat pounding wildly against my chest.
 

God, I love this woman.
 

I suck in a deep breath and my eyes fly open as the realization washes over me. Fuck, I’m in love with her. One hundred percent, without a shadow of a doubt, I love her.
 

She pulls away and wipes her wet eyes with the backs of her hands. “So, you’re okay,” she says matter-of-factly as she puts distance between us. Lia now stands before me, arms crossed protectively on her chest.
 

“Yeah, we had a close call today with an early morning fire. I’m sure you heard all about it on the news
and from my mom,” I say, gauging her reaction.
 

“Yeah. They said a couple of fireman went back into the building to save a child,” she says in a small voice.
 

“Yeah, we did. Smith and I went in to find a missing boy. He is four years old,” I tell her. “I found him unconscious in his toy box, hiding from the fire. When we were exiting the apartment, some debris fell from the ceiling onto me. I was buried under it with the boy underneath me, but Smith got us out, and we were able to get the boy to safety. He’s going to make a full recovery,” I tell her, full of relief as I say those words.
 

“I’m glad he’s going to be okay,” she whispers as she still avoids eye contact.
 

“What about you? What’s going on with you?” I ask, stepping towards her.
 

Lia pulls back, not wanting to be touched. “I’m fine,” she says firmly and looks me square in the eye. She’s shutting down on me. I watch as the protective walls are firmly erected around her and she shuts me out.
 

“Bullshit,” I tell her firmly. “Why are you acting like this didn’t scare the shit out of you?” I ask as I take another step towards her.
 

“I’m fine. This is what you do. You put yourself in the line of fire - figuratively and literally - everyday. I’m fine with it,” she says as she tightens her arms around her chest.
 

“Lia,” I say as I exhale deeply, turning around and giving her my back to take a deep, calming breath.
 

“Seriously, Nate. You don’t owe me anything. I don’t need an explanation or anything. You’re probably exhausted and ready for bed. You should head home and get some sleep,” she states somewhat coldly.
 

Why the hell is she acting as if this doesn’t matter? Like what happened didn’t scare her? Why is she pushing me away? I keep my back to her so she can’t see my seething reaction to her brushoff. I need to calm down.
 

“I’ll talk to you soon, Nate,” she says behind me.
 

I can’t take it any longer. I whip around fast, arm lifted up as I get ready to argue my point, but my words die instantly on my lips. Lia drops to the ground, shielding her face with trembling hands. I watch helplessly as she tucks herself into a tight ball, protecting as much of her small body as she can with her arms and legs.
 

And it’s right then that I know.
 

Those tidbits of information that I’ve been tucking away in the back of my mind finally start to piece together like some big, repulsive, fucked-up jigsaw puzzle. And the image is ugly. Dammit, not my Lia. Not my beautiful, sweet, lonely girl. Fuck, if I don’t feel rage wash over me like I’ve never experienced in my life.
 

However, for all the anger that I have right now,
I need to focus on my girl. The girl that I love. I slowly crouch down, a few feet in front of her, and lower my shaky voice as I whisper, “Lia? Lia, baby, look at me.” I reach forward and touch her arm. When she startles away from me, it ignites my rage all over again. I have to take several calming breaths before I can find my voice again. “Baby, I need you to look at me. I’m not going to hurt you. I would never,
ever
hurt you. Please look at me,” I plead as I wait with bated breath for her to look up at me.
 

Lia slowly starts to lift her chin from the tucked position within her arms. Her eyes are full of fear and tears. I want to kill the son of a bitch. I will find the person who did this to my beautiful girl and slowly torture him until he’s crying for his mama and begging for death because that would be a better fate than enduring anymore of what I am going to do to him.
 

I crouch closer until I’m right in front of her, my eyes remaining locked on her beautiful gray-blue eyes the entire time. My movements are slow and deliberant. “Lia? I’m right here, beautiful. I’m not going to hurt you, I swear,” I say as I make a big show of lifting my hand and slowly moving it towards her face. She watches, eyes still wide with fear, as I slowly bring my hand to rest on her cheek. I use the pads of my fingers to wipe away the tears streaming down her face. I can feel her entire being trembling through just the slightest touch.
 

The dam breaks as the tears stream unchecked down her cheeks, falling rapidly onto her shirt. Her shoulders shake as she begins to sob. I pull her into my arms and hold her as tightly as I can, just tight enough that she is still able to get air in her lungs. We sit on the floor of her hallway for awhile. Ten minutes or ten hours? Hell, I don’t know. And I don’t care. My mind is numb and my emotions a tornado as they dangerously whirl around inside me. I want to strike like a rattlesnake. I want to attack like a boxer. But the feeling that is foremost? I want to protect. I want to hold my girl and make everything go away. Disappear. Vanish without a trace.
 

After awhile, Lia finally starts to calm down. Her body starts to sag against me as the weight of her emotions subsides. All of the fight has left her body, leaving her completely spent. After the day I’ve had, I’m pretty much toast as well, so I gingerly lift Lia fully into my arms and stand up as best I can. I use the wall as leverage as I finally get us both upright. I stroll into her bedroom and slide onto the made bed. I don’t let her go, and I don’t pull the covers back. I need to keep holding her tightly and securely in my arms right now.
 

I feel her warm breath against my neck as she tucks herself tightly against me. Exhaustion settles in again, and I feel my eyelids slowly close. I have so much to say. So much to ask. So many questions that need answered.
 

But right now, I need this woman to feel safe. I need her to know that I will never hurt her physically. I am not the man who has hurt her in the past. I need to show her how much I care for her.
 

Lia’s breathing starts to even out against me signaling that she’s drifting off to sleep. I slowly release my death-grip on her and just revel in the feel of her body against mine.
 

Her beautiful, smiling face is the only thing I picture as I drift off to sleep.
 

I’m startled awake from a deep, restless sleep. I dreamed of a faceless man with dark, empty holes where his eyes should be. He was stalking towards Lia and no matter what I did, I couldn’t keep him from going after her. Everything I did, he was right there.
 

I suck in deep, calming breaths as I take in the room. Night has fallen which means it’s well after nine. I look over to catch the time on Lia’s alarm clock and slam straight into her crystal clear eyes.
 

“Hey,” I say hoarsely.
 

“Hi,” she whispers and shifts closer. I pull her tightly against my hard body, my hands roaming up and down her back in a soothing gesture.
 

“So, I have some things I should probably tell you,” she whispers without making eye contact.
 

“I won’t push you, Lia, but I have a lot of questions. I want to listen. I want to be here for you and listen to what you need to say,” I tell her. “But, I’m going to be honest. Hearing you tell me what I know is coming is going to kill me. I may get mad and angry, but please know that it’s not directed towards you. Do you understand that? I will never be angry at you,” I tell her as I place a kiss on the side of her head.