Protege (14 page)

Jude.
He wanted to hear her say it.

“Collette?”

She turned and swallowed but remained silent. Shit. He needed to get his act together before he confused her with mixed signals. Nodding, he said, “You did well.”

***

Collette handled herself better at dinner than he'd anticipated. He could have warned her what to expect, but he wanted to see how quickly she'd adapt to an unexpected environment. Suffice it to say, he was impressed.

Her tolerance was impeccable, or more importantly, her manners. Not once did she raise an eyebrow at the atypical behavior she witnessed. It was as though she often saw subs bowing at their master's feet or people dining stark naked.

He and Collette were clothed, of course, but Ezra always opened his home to all proclivities, which Lea appreciated, since she had a wild spirit and loved to play with others. The women were notably curious about Collette, as were the men—especially Bryson.

“And what are her hard limits?” Bryson asked as they sipped drinks in the den while the subs tidied up from dinner.

Hiding his irritation at the man's persistence, he calmly stated, “She hasn't established all of them yet. That's why I've taken her in as my charge.”

“Hell of a job that must be.” Bryson laughed. “No previous spouses?”

“No.”

“Jude,” Ezra called, likely sensing his fraying patience. “I have that paperwork you were awaiting. Join me in the library?”

Relieved, he nodded and turned to Bryson. “Excuse me.”

When he entered the library with only his friend he cursed. “Brys is fucking relentless.”

“He's lonely since Cheryl left, Jude. Cut him some slack.”

“He's got his eye on Collette.”

Ezra laughed, refilling his drink. “So does everyone else. She's new and undeniably attractive and we all know she's here to try new things. Don't think Lea isn't driving me nuts with requests.” His voice pitched high. “‘If Jude picks another woman for her first time I'll never forgive him.'”

Jude chuckled. “Duly noted.”

Ezra sighed. “What's the matter, Jude? I expected you to show up glowing, for Christ's sake. I mean, it's been a while since you've had a woman at your disposal.”

“I've never been short of women, Ezra.”

“There's a difference and you know it. Now, tell me what's going on with you.”

He sighed. “I think I made a mistake.”

“So soon? Own up to it and ask her to forgive you. You've been out of the game for a while. You're only human.”

“No, I mean I think it was a mistake for me to take her on. I'm just not into it like I used to be.” Within his own wants she was perfect, but the idea of taking her outside his comfort zone was less tolerable than he'd thought it would be. He used to be able to bend on account of others' education. Perhaps he was getting set in his ways.

His friend slouched and rubbed his brow. “Jude, do you know what it would do to her if you passed her off after one day? It wouldn't matter what explanation you gave. She'd take it personally. That's not fair. She's vulnerable and new to this. Rejecting her could be scarring—”

“I wouldn't be rejecting her. I just feel someone else could do a better job—”

“To her it would be rejection. You know that. And no one's more qualified to sponsor her than you. What are you thinking?”

“I'm thinking I'm not cut out for this anymore. Doesn't it ever get old for you?” His friend's expression shuttered and he quickly apologized. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.”

Ezra put his glass down and steepled his fingers over his chest. “It's my life, Jude. It used to be yours. I don't believe people change that drastically. You're still the same guy you were with Tiffany.”

“I don't want to be that guy.” He'd given her everything—pushed past his own comforts with each subtle request for more—and she still walked away.

Ezra sighed. “You know, people think it's the sub that gives,” he said in retrospect. “Most don't realize the toll it takes to always be in charge, to always be the deciding voice. The responsibility always rests on our shoulders. It's a lot.”

“It's not that.”

“Then what is it?”

He wished he knew. “The kink used to be enough. I love the Dom lifestyle, but . . . I don't think I'll ever trust a sub again. And as far as fucking—never a problem. I could walk out of this room and have any woman's mouth on my cock in a matter of minutes.”

“Half the men, too,” his friend joked.

“But it means nothing. It's all playacting.”

“Are you saying you want something more? Put your name back in the system, see if anything turns up.”

“I don't even know my taste anymore. I've never been extreme, yet I'm very specific. Trust and loyalty were my cornerstones and I've lost that.”

“So,” Ezra said slowly, “take advantage of the opportunity in front of you. Use Collette to rediscover your passions and perhaps the rest will come.”

Jude nodded, knowing his friend would never endorse his passing her off to someone else. With that and his conscience riding him, it looked like he had twenty-nine days of obligation in front of him. He exhaled, resigned.

Perhaps he could, as Ezra suggested, use the time to determine how his preferences had evolved, though he doubted he'd ever marry again, monogamy remained a strong pull. He would only ever abide a relationship with him as the dominant head of the household. Perhaps he could find a contractual agreement apart from matrimony, but again, he cringed at the superficial taste that left in his mouth.

“She's a beautiful woman, Jude. Don't look like you've been given a death sentence.”

He grinned, laughing at how dramatic he was being. “You're right.” Exhaling, he shook off his worry. “God, what's happened to me?”

“Your heart was broken and you're still a bit fragile. It happens.”

“Thanks.” Jude nodded, truly grateful for a friend like Ezra who understood the depth of feelings beneath a good Dom. “We better go check on the others.”

Ezra returned to the den and Jude went to check on Collette, pausing at the entrance to the kitchen. The women gathered around the granite island in the center of the kitchen, several half-drunk glasses of wine between them.

“Oh, God, remember how great the parties used to be . . .” Simone sighed.

“Tiffany used to put out such an incredible spread.”

“That's Jude's ex-wife,” Lea supplied, and he frowned.

Staying in the shadows of the entryway, he watched Collette's lips part in surprise. “Jude was married?”

“Mmm-hmm,” the women collectively hummed.

Her lashes flutter as her brow creased with worry. “I didn't know.”

“It was horrible. Jude was so good to her and one day she simply announced she was in love with someone else. We were all shocked.”

Collette glanced away and then back to the others. “You know what? I don't think we should be gossiping about him.”

His head cocked to the side as her words took him by surprise.

“Everybody knows,” Casey said, and he again scowled.

“Still,” Collette said, straightening her shoulders. “Jude's been very good to me, and I swore to honor and respect him over the course of our time together. It's disrespectful for us to discuss his personal life behind his back. If he wanted me to know the intimate details of his past, he'd tell me.”

His chest swelled with pride as her words silenced the others. He was stunned by her backbone in a situation where most would be desperate to form an alliance. The others . . . well, he'd be speaking to their Doms and they'd all be standing for most of the next day.

He cleared his throat and stepped into the kitchen. At least they had the decency to look contrite. “Ladies.” He stepped close to Collette and caught her wrist, pressing a soft kiss to her fluttering pulse. “I think it's time to say good night.”

Her gaze dropped as a pink flush stole across her cheeks, likely brought on by guilt and fear that he'd overheard their discussion. “Yes, Sir.” Turning, she rose on her toes and pressed a kiss to his jaw.

He released her wrist, liking the little ritual they'd created. “Lea will show you where she put our coats. Won't you, Lea?”

“Yes, Sir,” Ezra's wife said, her voice and head lowered.

As the two left the kitchen, he faced the others. “I will be addressing the subject of gossiping tomorrow when I make my calls. I expect all of you to confess your behavior before I contact your partners.”

Their heads lowered. “Yes, Sir.”

“Good night, ladies.”

“Good night, Sir.”

He found Collette in the entry, her face pale and her shoulders hunched. Taking the coats, he assisted her into hers. “Did you say good night?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Sensing she was upset, he cupped her jaw. “Look at me.”

Her lashes lifted, unveiling soft hazel eyes heavy with contrition. Leaning close, he gently kissed her lips. “I've very happy with you right now, Collette. Whatever you're fearful of, don't be.”

Her lips parted and she stared at him, nodding slowly. “Thank you, Sir.”

“Let's go home.”

***

Collette was silent as they climbed the stairs. She hesitated in the hall and he released her fingers. “Go prepare for bed.” She nodded and disappeared into her room.

He returned to his own room and changed out of his clothes. In only his briefs, he used the bathroom and finished his evening rituals. Returning to his bedroom, he frowned when he found it empty. Maybe she didn't realize he expected her to come to him. He'd have to go over his everyday expectations with her.

Using the key above the jamb, he unlocked the connecting door to her room. She gasped and quickly covered herself with her dress, which was now off her body. Her hair was wet, making her curls stretch to the base of her spine. She was a vision.

He swallowed tightly, disguising his internal reaction with a blank expression. “You impressed me tonight.” He placed the key on her dresser.

“I-I did?”

“Very much.” Casually stalking her, enjoying the way she backed up like prey trying to outsmart its predator, he took the dress from her and tossed it on her bed. “I especially appreciated the respect you displayed when I wasn't present.”

Her cheeks flushed a lovely shade of pink, drawing a slow kiss from him. Her lips were soft, slightly parted and well deserving of more. “You're a very good girl, peach,” he whispered as his mouth slanted over hers and his tongue stole past her lips.

There was no hesitation. The moment he kissed her, she kissed back, her hands eagerly gripping the back of his neck and pulling him down to her height. The kiss took him by surprise, as well, being that it was their first true kiss and she had an incredibly skillful mouth. Catching her wrists, he pulled her arms wide, holding them above her shoulders. “Who taught you to kiss like that?” he whispered as he backed her to the bed.

“Natural instinct.”

He growled and released her arms, cupping her ass and lifting her onto the bed. “Good girls don't kiss like that.”

She giggled. “The only one who calls me a good girl is you, Sir.”

Reaching for her knees, he hoisted her legs forward and she fell to her back. “That's right.
My
good girl. Put your arms above your head and don't move until I tell you otherwise.”

She did as he asked and he slowly pressed her knees wide. Her delicate folds unfurled, soft, bare, and pink. Leaning forward, he kissed her clit and she sucked in a breath. His tongue teased softly over her newly exposed flesh; her knees shifted deliberately as tension built.

Soft keening sighs filled the room and then, the sound he'd been waiting for whispered into the darkness. “Jude . . .”

He growled and closed his lips over her clit, sucking as his fingers parted her folds. Her back arched as her thighs brushed his shoulders. His hands slid under her ass as he held her to his mouth, drinking from her like a holy offering.

“Jude . . .”

Every soft cry was an aphrodisiac to his ears. He could have made her come right away, but something held him back. His lips explored every delicate curve, tasted every bit of dew, drank deeply of her body in a way he'd never typically do in a scene. It was as though he wanted to prolong the moment as long as possible, drag out her ecstasy until it was reed thin.

Her pleasure built, her voice carrying on a crescendo of throaty desire. Her body contracted in a fury of soft flutters and her sex tightened and opened as her release sweetened his tongue.

Humming with satisfaction, he continued to tease her, drawing a deeper climax from her as she arched into him. Her arms never moved, showing exquisite obedience to his command, which only fueled his desire more.

His cock throbbed in his briefs and he desperately wanted to ram it inside her, but a tickle of unease set in the moment he pulled back and reached to remove his shorts. This wasn't right. He shouldn't be experiencing this much emotion from an understudy. Supine, she lay on her white coverlet catching her breath.

What the hell was happening here? Yes, he was happy with her behavior, but this was absolutely ridiculous. He was Jude fucking Duval. His days of falling over a woman were over. Any threat to his control was a threat, period.

Her head turned slowly, her face soft with gratified lust, the pupils of her eyes swallowing the hazel. “You're amazing.”

He swallowed and took a staggering step back. “You'll sleep here tonight.”

Her lips parted, a slight divot forming above her brow. Her arms slowly eased to her sides as her shoulders lifted off the mattress. “Is something wrong?”

“It's late and it's been a long day. I'll see you in the morning.” Grabbing the key off her dresser, he left the way he came and locked the door, her scent and unique flavor still on his lips. As he braced his weight against the wall, he vowed this would be the last time she caused his control to slip.