PS02 - Without Regret (52 page)

Now he was coming back to the mate he treated like shit and praying like hell she would give him another chance. As far as the

baby was concerned he was still scared shitless, but he wanted to see her. God, he wanted to see her so badly that it hurt to

breathe.

He walked into the clinic and spotted his family all standing around Izzy as she laid on a hospital gurney as Joshua glided a

small plastic tool connected by a wire to a large machine over her glistening stomach.

His lips twitched despite his nervousness as he watched his father reach out to take the tool away from Joshua only to have his

hand slapped away by several people.

“I was just curious!”

“Well stop, we’re trying to see,” Jill said, smiling at whatever she saw on the small monitor by Izzy’s feet.

“What’s that?” Marc asked, squishing up his face as he turned his head to get a better look at whatever was on the screen.

“That’s her hand,” Joshua said, gliding the tool over Izzy’s stomach. “And if she turns just so…….we’ll see her face.”

“Oh my god,” Madison said, smiling hugely.

He was across the room in seconds, unable to stay away much longer. His father saw him and threw him a relieved smile as he

stepped out of the way. After months of yelling at him and pleading with him to give Izzy a chance he knew how relieved his

father had to be.

Taking a deep breath and praying that he wouldn’t fuck up this little girl’s life the way his mother had fucked up his, he took a

step forward and fell head over heels in love for the second time in his life.

There on the screen was his little girl, his Jessica. In that moment he knew there would be no walking away from her. He’d

give his life up for her in a heartbeat.

“Aw, she’s so cute,” Jill gushed and he had to agree.

“When can we see the boys?” Madison asked.

“In about a month it should be easier to spot them,”

Joshua said.

“Excellent,” his father said to no one’s surprise.

“Do you want a picture of your daughter, Chris?”

Joshua asked.

He couldn’t remove his eyes from the screen as he nodded. “Please. Two, please.” He’d put one in his wallet and have

Madison frame the other one to put by his bed.

“They’re printing now. Jill, could you hand me a few wipes so that I can wipe this goop off of Izzy’s stomach?”

Joshua asked, but before Jill could reach for the box of warmed wipes he had them in his hands.

Praying his hands wouldn’t shake and give away how nervous he was, he pulled a few wipes out and began wiping Izzy’s large

stomach. He nearly gasped when he felt his daughter move.

“I can do that,” Izzy said, moving to take the wipes away, but he wasn’t having that.

“Let me do it,” he said, wanting to do something for her, anything. He’d been such an asshole. Why the hell did he keep fucking

up around her?

“Why don’t we all give them some space? Chris, Izzy, I’ll drop the pictures off in your suite,” Joshua said, reaching out and

giving Izzy’s hand a small squeeze before he walked away.

“Chris, I really can do that,” Izzy said, sounding embarrassed.

“I know, but I want to,” he said, giving her a small smile before focusing his attention back on her stomach.

After he wiped all the clear gel off her stomach he gently ran his hands over it, chuckling every time his baby girl pushed

against his hands. She was such a little feisty little thing, he thought as he leaned over and pressed a kiss to Izzy’s stomach and

of course that earned a kick from his baby girl.

“Chris, you have to stop,” Izzy said.

“Look, I’m sorry I fucked up, more than you’ll ever know, but I want to try, Izzy,” he said, smiling when his little girl double

kicked his hand.

“It’s not that,” she mumbled miserably.

“Then what is it?” he asked, unable to take his eyes away from her round stomach.

“If you must know all this kicking and pressure is making me have to pee!” she said, shoving his hands as she did her best to

roll over and sit up. As gently as he could he helped her to her feet and tried not to smile when she threw him a glare and began

waddling towards the hallway door.

“Where are you going? I thought you had to use the bathroom?” he called after her.

“I like using our bathroom,” he thought he heard her mutter. “Besides I also need to soak in a hot tub and I don’t care if I’m late

for your precious defense class. It’s not like I’ve been able to do anything more than sit in a corner for the past two months

anyway,” she snapped testily.

“But I bet you learned a lot,” he pointed out as he followed after her.

“Yeah, that you’re a sadistic bastard who makes women cry,” she said, placing a hand at the small of her back as she waddled

towards the elevators that would take them to their floor.

What should have been a ten second walk turned out to be a five minute walk since she kept having to stop to catch her breath.

“Are you okay? Maybe you should just use the bathroom down here,” he suggested, reaching out to take her hand and guide her

back towards the clinic.

She pulled away and continued on with her waddling. “I just want some time alone to think and soak in a hot bath.”

“Let me help you,” he said, moving back to her side.

“I don’t need your help, Chris. What I need you to do is stop confusing the hell out of me, because I have to be honest here,

your split personalities are giving me whiplash,” she snapped as she scanned her hand and pressed the call button for the

elevator.

“Just give me a chance to explain that, Munchkin, please,” he said, following her onto the elevator.

“No, I gave you enough chances and I think we can both agree that you’ve made it more than obvious how you feel about me

and the baby over the past couple of months so I really don’t see the point, do you?” she asked, crossing, well, trying to cross

her arms over her large chest. Thanks to her pregnancy her breasts were a lot bigger than before.

“You don’t know how I feel about you,” he bit out, trying to stay patient and not lose his temper, but it was difficult.

“Yeah, I’m an inconvenience except when you need to get off.”

“No, you’re the woman that I’m in love with,” he said, hating himself for all the shit and misery he’d put her through over the

past few months. “And I’m so fucking sorry for what I put you through.”

“No, you’re not,” she said tightly, wiping at her eyes.

“Yes, I am, Munchkin. I love you and I’m sorry for the way that I treated you, but you have to know that I did it to protect you,

I-“

She turned on him as the elevator doors slid shut. “To protect me? You treated me like garbage to protect me?

No,” she said, shaking her head firmly, “you did it to protect yourself.”

“No, I-“

“Yes, you did! You’re only nice to me when it’s convenient for you like now that you’ve discovered that you can have me and

your family too. You never would have chosen me, but now thanks to your father you don’t have to, now do you? But guess

what? I don’t choose you. I don’t want you. You had your chance and you blew it!” she screamed.

“That’s not fair, Izzy, especially since you don’t have a fucking clue about what you’re talking about,” he bit out evenly.

She snorted her disbelief. “I don’t? Really? I know that you’re too scared to live your own life. I know you’ve wrapped your

entire life around your family. I know that you’re a coward and-“

“They fucking saved me!” he roared, getting into her face and backing her into a corner. “You have no fucking idea what it was

like before they took me in. I had to watch every fucking move I made. You don’t know what it’s like to have to worry about

your mother being too drunk or stoned to fuck some guy and instead offered him up your ass. You never had to worry that the

man would take her up on it and that you wouldn’t be able to get to the knife you that you slept with quickly enough or run fast

enough before he tried to take her up on the offer.”

“Oh, my god, Chris,” she mumbled, tears streaming down her face, but he didn’t fucking care anymore. She wanted to know

why his family was his world then he would tell her.

“Then never got me, but that wasn’t from a lack of trying. You also don’t know what it’s like to be so fucking hungry that you’d

do anything for food. You have no idea how fucking scared I was all the time or how it felt when I was kicked out onto the

street because she found someone stupid enough to take her in.”

“My family took me in and saved my life, Isabella. They gave me a home, love and loyalty and I owe them everything!

Everything!”

“Do you really think they want to see you alone and unhappy?” she asked, her voice breaking with emotion as she reached up to

cup his face. “Do you?”

He shook his head stubbornly. “They need me to protect them.”

“No, they need you to be happy!” she cried, tightening her grip when he tried to pull away from her. “They love you so much,

Chris, don’t you see that? They don’t want a bodyguard or a soldier or whatever the hell you’ve been for them. They want a

son, a brother and a friend. They want you, Chris.”

“I’m good at taking care of them,” he bit out. “That’s what I do. I make sure they’re safe and happy and that makes me happy.”

“Bullshit!” she snapped, shocking him. “You’re not happy!”

He opened his mouth to argue, but what was there to say? He was glad his family was safe and he was happy for them, but he

wasn’t happy. They were his family and he loved them, but they never filled a void inside of him, or gave him so much joy that

he thought that he just might burst.

Only she did.

All she had to do was walk in a room and he felt better, lighter, freer and he’d been a damn fool to push that away. He was still

scared to death that someone was going to hunt her down and try to take her away from him, but he knew that he wouldn’t let

her go without a fight.

But as much as he loved his family he couldn’t let them make this decision without talking to them first. He had to make sure

living with them was what they really wanted, because he couldn’t stomach the idea of putting them at risk. If they had doubts

then he would take her away to keep them safe, but he couldn’t give up his mate and baby. He just couldn’t.

“You make me happy,” he said, looking down into her beautiful face.

“You don’t seem to be happy,” she said, sniffling.

“That’s because I’m an asshole,” he said, smiling when she let out a little choked little laugh.

“That’s true,” she said with a watery smile that gave him hope.

“Can I have one more chance? Please,” he said, leaning down to press a kiss to the tip of her nose. “I love you, Munchkin and I

want a chance to prove it to you and Jessica. Please, give me another chance.”

She leaned up and he met her halfway smiling when her belly forced him to bend lower and allowed her to kiss him. It was like

a balm to his soul. He wrapped one arm around her as best as he could and placed his other hand on her stomach and gently

rubbed.

When his little Munchkin hissed sharply against his lips he pulled back. “Did I hurt you?” he asked, reminding himself that he

had to be gentle with her.

“No,” she said, shaking her head, but he noted she’d lost some of the color in her face, “the baby’s acting up.”

“Do you want me to go get Joshua?” he asked, reaching to push the call button to take them downstairs.

“No, I just need a hot bath to soak in,” she said, pressing her hands on either side of her stomach.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his finger hovering over the button.

With a small sigh of impatience she pushed his hand down and took it into both of hers.

“You didn’t give me an answer,” he pointed out.

“I need some time, Chris. As much as I love you I can’t risk you hurting the baby,” she said softly.

“I would never hurt her,” he said tightly, and he wouldn’t. He’d rather die than hurt her.

Izzy rolled her eyes. “I meant with your little PMS

problem.”

“I’m done with being an asshole,” he said, praying that she’d give him a chance, because he had no idea what to do next. Beg?

He could do that. Buy her chocolate? She seemed to like that. Let her beat the shit out of him? He had that coming.

“Can I get that in writing?” she asked with a teasing little smile that gave him hope.

“Absolutely,” he murmured, bending to brush his lips over hers again when the elevator doors opened.

“Isabella McGuire, I presume?” an amused deep voice asked, drawing his attention to the open doors and what he saw there

had him reaching for his gun.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, unless you think the little boy would enjoy having his throat ripped out,” the man or rather the

shifter said as he looked pointedly down to Marc’s throat where his claws were pressed into soft skin.

He looked towards the shifter’s right to find Joshua bleeding from the mouth and clearly struggling not to attack the bastard, but

they all knew that if anyone of them made a move on him that their little brother would be the one to pay the price.

Chapter 45

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Kale said, watching as the Sentinel male tried pushing Isabella back into the elevator and

step out to block her.

“It’s fine, Chris,” Isabella said, giving the male apparently named Chris a hearty shove to get him out of the way.

He watched as the small little woman stepped forward and he nearly cursed up a storm. Pregnant? She was fucking pregnant?

This was a complication he really didn’t need. When he’d scented a pregnant female moments earlier he’d hoped it was just a