Pulled (6 page)

Got it.

“
You're longing to see him again,” she says in a dramatic whisper, “but he's your enemy. He can’t ever be yours. Let me feel that conflict; that aching need to see his face again.”

As if on cue, the rhythm of the song also changes, becomes urgent, and my limbs succumb to the singer's hypnotic voice; a voice filled with such loss and pain that it causes my entire body to contort effortlessly to the music’s command.

“
And now,” she says, “You see your Romeo in the distance.”

Several figures start emerging from the darkness, but there is only one my body reacts to. I lunge forward the minute the light hits his face, almost tripping over my own feet. My stumble pulls his attention to me and I watch his expression as he takes me in. Gone is his light smile and in its place is what looks like a mix of anger and sorrow.

Dancers are spinning all around me, but I move fluidly around them. I am hardly aware of my feet as they fly across the floor. My eyes are locked on his, as his seem to be on mine. When he begins walking toward me too, my heart almost explodes in anticipation.

We're only a few feet away from one another when we both stop and begin to circle each other, painfully slow. Our bodies manage to inch closer with each rotation, causing my breath to come in such short erratic bursts that I'm afraid I may hyperventilate. Everything in my body is screaming out to touch him, to just reach out and take his hand, but I push down the impulse with every ounce of energy I have.

The song ends at some point, but we keep circling each other, seemingly powerless to do anything about it.

“
Beautiful.” I hear someone say. I don’t look to see who it is. I can’t. My eyes won't budge from his. It's only when I feel a yanking on my arm, pulling me away from Etash, that I'm able to even blink. Kari has got a hold of my arm and doesn't let go of it until I'm firmly planted in the chairs off stage.

“
Just beautiful,” the voice whispers again. From the safety of the chairs, I can now tell that it was the director who spoke. She is looking directly at Etash now; his head has dropped into his hands.

Etash

Already, I know what she’s thinking and it won’t happen. I will
not
play Romeo to her Juliet. I can't.

Avoiding eye-contact with both of them, the hour passes as Elizabeth continues to pair up the other dancers. No one has come close to what Naya and I had done and I know no one ever will; but that's not my problem.

“
I think I’ve seen enough,” Elizabeth says eventually.

I can feel her glare on me, but I refuse to look at her.

“
We’re going to break for about 20 minutes while Etash and I conference in my office. When we come back we’ll have a cast list ready. Thank you all again for coming tonight. You’ve given us a hard task ahead.” She closes her binder and pushes up from her chair, holding her hand out in front of her, allowing me to leave first. I march out of the room, preparing myself for an argument.

As soon as the door closes behind her I start in.

“
No. I know what you’re thinking, and no.”

“
Etash,” her voice is exasperated. “Did you not just see what I saw? You two were amazing! I couldn’t take my eyes off you!”

I want to scream at her that what she just saw is currently freaking the hell out of me, but I don't. Instead I sit down on her couch and let out a slow, careful breath.

“
I am not an actor, Elizabeth, you know that. I am your Assistant Director.”

She rushes over to me and places her hands on my arms.

“
And you still can be. You could do
both
!” Her eyes are bright and hopeful.

When I shake my head no, she gets onto the floor and starts to beg. She's trying to be funny, but she has no idea what she’s asking of me. But then, how could she? She doesn't have a clue what this girl does to me, and I don't plan on cluing her in, so I go a different route.

“
I am not exactly Romeo-looking material,” I say, full of confidence.
Try arguing with that one.

But Elizabeth doesn’t bat an eyelash. She gets up off the floor, looks me dead in the eye and points toward the door. “To that girl out there, you
are.
”

I open my mouth to tell her how wrong she is, but she stops me before I can get a word out.

“
The way she
looked
at you, Etash…I swear; I just witnessed love at first sight.” She's wrong, but I know she'll push it if I argue with her.

“
She has a boyfriend,” I hiss, surprised by the jealousy I find in my voice.

“
Ah, ha. So you two
have
met.” She gives me a knowing smile.

“
It’s not like that,” I say, trying to cover. “She’s in a few of my classes, that’s all. That’s not even the point. I’m not an actor,” I say again.

She wags her finger at me. “Just because you’re a Directing major, doesn't mean you can't also be an actor. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't your major require that you perform in at least
one
show a year?”

“
Yes, but it doesn't have to be
this
one,” I say slowly.

“
True. Good point.” A slow smile spreads across her face. She's up to something. “Tell me again,” she says, “which show did you perform in during your freshman year?”

“
I didn't do any my freshman year,” I say through my teeth. She knows damn well I was too busy helping my Grams to do a show.

“
That's right, you didn't. Hmmm, as your advisor, I have to tell you, that's not good.” She shakes her head solemnly. I know where she's going with this, and I'm not happy about it. “I tell you what: be my Romeo and I’ll overlook this little infringement.”

“
That's blackmail.”

Elizabeth
just laughs. “No, it isn't. I’m simply offering you a way to make up for a credit that you will be sorely lacking when it comes time to graduate. I’m doing you a
favor
.” She grins wider, knowing she has me trapped.

“
This is going to end badly,” I whisper.

“
Nonsense! It's going to be perfect!” She comes over and gives me a big bear hug, then actually squeals with delight. “Thank you, Etash. You won't regret this. I promise.”

Naya

During our break, Kari drags me outside for a 'walk.' The chilly air feels wonderful against the nape of my neck, which is still hot from the audition.

“
What the hell is going on between you and Etash?” Kari demands as soon as we were out of earshot of the others.

“
Nothing!”

“
That was not ‘nothing’ back there.”

I stop walking and sit on the curb of the sidewalk. “I know,” I admit with a heavy sigh. Kari sits down beside me and puts her arm around my shoulders, and the gesture touches me. I feel like I can trust her; and honestly, if I don't tell someone about this, I'm afraid I'm going to go insane.

“
I don’t know what it is about him, but…every time I get near him, strange things happen to me.” I rest my head in my hands, hoping that she doesn't start making fun of me again.

“
Like what?” Her tone is soft, sincere.

How do I explain what's happening to me? Slumping my shoulders, I try to be as honest as I can.

“
Whenever I’m…close to him, it's like someone has a rope tied around my waist and is pulling me to wherever he is, and I can’t break free.”

She raises her eyebrows up at me, worry creasing her forehead.

“
Freaky stuff happens too. When I get too close to him, the hair on my arms stands up on end, like I’ve just been electrocuted or something. But it's the pain—that's the worst. It's a crushing ache right here,” I put my hand over my heart. “It’s really
scary,
Kari. I don’t know what’s happening to me!” I realize how desperate I must sound, but I need her to help me figure this out.

“
What are you going to do?” Kari asks.

I sigh. “I don't know. Avoid him, I guess. It's the only thing I
can
do.”

We sit in silence on the curb for the rest of the break, neither of us knowing quite what to say now.

All too soon Professor Campbell’s voice booms out across the night, beckoning the actors back inside. I shiver, and not from the night air.

Back inside we all sit quietly on the hard metal folding chairs. There is some light chatter, but everyone's attention is glued to the cast list that rests neatly folded inside Professor Campbell's hands.

“
Before I post the cast list, I’d like to thank you all again for coming,” she says. “There were some wonderful dancers here tonight, and although that was not a requirement for this production, it was lovely to see. I got to see some
amazing
chemistry, and that was more than I could have hoped for.” She glances quickly at Etash, who looks furious for some reason. She turns around fluidly, ignoring Etash’s harsh stare, and tapes the cast list on the wall and then walks out of the room, smiling. Etash follows, close at her heels.

All of the actors rush toward the list once they've gone, Kari included, but I stay planted where I am. The room is oddly silent as they all scan the list for their names. Kari's tall frame stands out clearly above the rest.

When she turns around, her face is blank. She doesn't meet my eyes when she sits down beside me. I smile, understanding from her body language that we, or at least I, hadn’t been cast. She takes my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

“
Congratulations,” she whispers. Her eyes watch me carefully. I look at her confused.

“
You got Juliet,” she says. “I’ll be your Nurse.” She smiles timidly at me.

“
No. You must have read it wrong.” I assure her. “I’m only a freshman. I can’t be a lead.”

“
That’s only for Main Stage productions, not Black Box,” she replies. “Didn’t you know that?”

No. I certainly did not know that. My first lead in college? This is crazy! I should be jumping for joy, but there is something about Kari’s expression that scares me. Then my stomach lurches.

“
Who got Romeo?”

Her hand squeezes mine again--harder. “Etash.”

“
No. No, that’s not possible. He’s the Assistant Director,” I say surprised by the hostility in my voice.

“
Apparently not any more,” Kari says, biting her lip. “I can’t blame her for doing it…the chemistry between you two was…undeniable.”

Oh god. Etash and I--together, doing love scenes, no doubt kissing... “No. No. I can’t do it.”

“
Of course you can, you’re an actress,” Kari says trying to soothe me.

“
You don’t get it, do you? I
can’t
be that close to him!” My voice quivers. “Didn't you see? Kari, I can’t control my body when he’s close to me!” I stand up and pull my hands through my hair.
How could I possibly be that close to him every day?

The blood drains out of me as I remember one very important thing.

“
Seth…when Seth sees the way I look at Etash, the way I react around him...” I’m rambling now, but I can’t stop myself. “Kari, I can’t take this role, if Seth even
suspected
anything…” I stop myself, fearing I might have already said too much.

My breath starts coming in shallow bursts in this dank, cold theatre. I need fresh air,
now
. But when I turn around to leave, the room starts twirling out of focus. Trying to steady myself, I grab a hold of Kari, who's looking at me wide-eyed. Stars start dancing around her face.
Shit!
Not now!
But it's happening. I’m about to have full-blown panic attack. If I don't chill out it'll lead to a black out.
Focus, Naya
! I scream at myself to breathe slower. I take another careful breath, but as I inhale, I see Etash dancing around me, and the room starts to spin faster. My eyelids get heavy as they begin their familiar descent to the back of my head. I feel my knees begin to buckle and I brace myself knowing that I'll be helpless to brake my fall; my upper body has already gone numb. Then, there's nothing.