Pure (29 page)

Not likely.

Nothing in the room looked like it’d been in touched in years. I couldn’t even begin to decipher most of the titles. But I continued on, anything to avoid the heartache that thoughts of Caleb always brought on. I tried pronouncing the titles, but gave up after five. Sighing, I tucked back my hair and crouched down.

“Unpronounceable. Unpronounceable. Unpronounceable.” I tipped my head to the side. “Really unpronounceable. This one can’t even be a real word. Oh, come—” My fingers stilled over a thick black book with gold lettering. I had no idea what the words were, but I recognized the symbol on the spine. “Downward torch…” I wiggled the book free.

A fine shiver coursed down my body. My head jerked up and I scanned the library. There was no mistaking the feeling of being watched.

“Alexandria, are you in here?”

I let go of the book and straightened. “Laadan?”

She appeared at the edge of the stacks. In the dim light and pale dress, she looked ethereal. A tentative smile pulled at her full lips. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

“No. I was just looking for something to read, but everything is in ancient Greek.”

Her gray eyes dropped to the books. “I don’t know why Telly stocks the library with books most of us can’t read.”

I stepped closer, but kept a decent distance between us. “I thought all of you pures read the old language.”

Laadan laughed softly. “All of us are taught it in school, but I promptly forgot it. Most of us can’t.”

Except Aiden, I thought. Thinking of him reminded me of the first time I’d seen Laadan, standing beside Leon and bargaining with Marcus to allow me to stay. “I never got a chance to thank you.”

“For what?”

“You convinced Marcus to give me a chance. If you hadn’t been there, I don’t think he would’ve allowed me back into the Covenant.” I bit my bottom lip and took another step toward the end of the stacks. “Why did you speak up for me? Did you know… what I was?”

She smoothed her hands down the front of her dress as she glanced toward the door. “Did I know you would become an Apollyon? No, but in a way, I did know you.”

More than just a little curious, I walked out of the stacks.

“When I was your age, I attended the Covenant in North Carolina. Your mother and I were very close. To this day, I wish we hadn’t grown apart, that I’d stayed in North Carolina. Maybe things would have turned out differently.”

Surprise left me speechless. Laadan smiled again. At once, the nostalgic looks she’d get when she looked at me made sense.

She nodded. “You look so much like Rachelle did when she was your age. You’re a bit wilder, but I think that’s your father in you.”

My chest tightened. “You—you knew my father?”

“Yes.” She drifted closer, lowering her voice. “Much better choice and fit for Rachelle than Lucian, but your mother didn’t really have a choice. A lot of people will tell you that she met your father after marrying Lucian, but that wasn’t true. She knew your father first—she
loved
your father long before Lucian entered the picture.”

“But… I don’t understand. She married Lucian when she was young, and it was at least five years before I was born.”

There was a far-off look in her eyes as she recalled a past I was not familiar with. “Then you can imagine the scandal when you were born, but don’t let that tarnish what your parents had. Their love was the kind written about in those silly books your mom used to read. She and Alexander started off as just friends—the three of us actually—but over the years their friendship grew into something much deeper.”

Hearing my father’s name spoken felt strange and oddly wonderful—as if he was a real person who’d existed once upon a time.

“Rachelle tried to do the right thing. She stayed away from your father as long as she could after she married Lucian—marrying Lucian was what was expected from her. She was determined to follow the rules of our society, but love like theirs can’t be denied for too long, no matter how wrong it is.” She paused, eyes widening. “Alexandria, are you okay?”

“Yeah.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry. It’s just Mom never talked about him. Like ever. I had no idea it was this epic love affair.”

She pressed her lips together and turned away. Walking off toward one of the lamps with green and gold stained glass, she shook her head. “I think it was too hard for your mother to talk about him after everything.”

I followed her. “What was he like?”

“Alexander?” Laadan glanced over her shoulder with a sad smile. “A good man, loyal to a fault, very handsome, and Rachelle was his entire world.” She turned around, folding slender arms across her waist. “You look so much like her, but you have his personality. When Marcus read off your files in his office that day, all I could think of was Alexander. He’s incredibly strong-willed, a bit reckless, and wild.”

The way she talked about Alexander, as if he were still here, made me wonder if she’d had feelings for him. “I wonder what he’d think of me.” I laughed self-consciously. “That sounded so stupid.”

“No, not at all. He’d be proud of you, Alexandria. I hope you know that.”

“Well, I am an Apollyon.”

She reached out, patting my arm. “Not because of what you’ll become, but because of who you already are.”

The sting of tears hit my eyes, which seemed so weak. I pulled away, fiddling with the chain on the lamp. “I don’t know about that. I should’ve done something when Mom left the Covenant. And I really shouldn’t have gone after her when she’d turned, or at least, when Caleb showed up, I should’ve gone back to the Covenant, but I didn’t. I mean, what was I thinking?”

“You did what you believed was right.” She drifted to my side, resting her hands on the old, scuffed-up table the lamp sat on. “Rachelle probably would’ve smacked you for doing something so incredibly dangerous, but you made sure she had peace.”

“You think so?”

“Yes.”

A little bit of weight lifted off my chest, but my breath still sawed in and out. “I’ve messed up, really bad, a lot of times.” I squeezed the chain between my fingers. “I don’t think he’d be so proud.”

Laadan placed her hand over mine. “He would be proud. You followed your heart when it came to Rachelle, and yes, sometimes the decisions you’ve made have not been the right ones, but you know that. You’ve learned from them. And owning up to Telly about your role in what happened to your friend? That was brave and mature.”

I looked up at her—a pure-blood. This all seemed strange to me. It took me a couple of minutes to make sense of my own mixed-up thoughts and emotions over what she’d told me of my mother and father. “How did she met him—my dad? There aren’t many mortals around the Covenants. Did he work on Bald Head?”

Laadan’s smile seemed off, nervous almost. She pushed away from the table, running her hands over her arms. “She met him in North Carolina.”

There was more to it than that, which filled me with all the more curiosity. So Mom had loved a mortal for many moons. They weren’t the first or last, I imagined. “What was he doing there? How did he die?”

A loud crash caused us both to jump. I whirled around, expecting to see a crap ton of books on the floor.

Laadan laughed nervously. “I forget that there are things here that move unseen.”

I looked at her sharply. “What do you mean? Spirits?”

She blinked and laughed again. “Yes, spirits. I’m a bit superstitious. This library doesn’t help, creepy as it is. I think one of the shelves collapsed in the stack.” Laadan came to my side, scanning the rows quickly—and I thought a bit anxiously. “It happens from time to time. Anyway, if you are anything like Rachelle, you love ice cream and pie.”

I swung back to her. “Vanilla—”

“And pumpkin pie,” she finished, smiling. “I know where we can score some. Interested?”

My mouth watered. “I’m always interested in anything food related.”

“Good.” She threaded her arm through mine. “Let’s go gorge ourselves until we swear off food.”

At the door, I shivered and looked over my shoulder. The feeling of eyes boring into my back was uncanny, but no one was there—no one that I could see.

My father would be proud of me, even after all the stupid things I’d done—and probably would still do? It seemed hard to believe, but Laadan had known him and she had no reason to lie to me.

“Alex, are you even paying attention to me?”

“Huh?” I blinked, glancing up from my rock. We were in a wooded area off of the labyrinth, a few hours into our afternoon practice. “Yeah, I heard you. Dodge. Run. Stuff.”

Seth folded his arms.

“What?” I stood and brushed off my rear.

“I think you just fell asleep. That would hurt my feelings—if I had any.”

“Sorry. You’re kind of boring me.”

“Well, okay then. Let’s get to work.” Seth held up his hand, like he was going to throw a baseball. A blue ball of flames formed in his open palm. He released the tiny ball, launching it straight at my head.

I ducked easily. “Boring.”

Seth let go of another ball, but this time he sent it at my feet. I jumped onto the rock and yawned loudly. A devilish grin pulled at his lips as he slowly approached me. My foot caught him in the shoulder as soon as he came within reach. He retaliated by sending two balls of flames—one at my head and one at my legs. It took some fancy footwork to avoid them, but I did and I still managed to stay atop the rock.

I stuck my tongue out. “You can do better than that.”

He threw up his hands and a gust of wind hit me square in the chest. There was nothing I could do to block something like that.

“Remember to tuck and roll,” Seth called out, laughter in his voice.

If I hadn’t been flying through the air, I would have flipped him off. However, I did remember to tuck and roll. I hit the cool patch of grass shoulders first. I didn’t give my body a chance to recognize the impact. Rolling onto my feet, I suspected Seth would be making his move.

I was right.

A ball of fire grazed my head as I darted to the side. We went at this until he hit me with the element of air, knocked me down, and didn’t let go. Pinned to the dirty ground, I glared up at him.

“Get up,” he ordered, standing above me.

“I can’t get up. And you know that.”

Seth cocked his head to the side and sighed. “This is getting old, Alex. You excel at every aspect of fighting—not as good as me, but who am I kidding? No one is better than me.”

I rolled my eyes. “You like to hear yourself talk, don’t you?”

“Why, yes. Yes I do.”

“That’s why you don’t have any friends.”

“And the last time I checked, I’m
your
only friend.”

My jaw clicked shut. Score one for Seth.

“But that’s not the topic of discussion. We are discussing that fact that you cannot break through the air element, and it’s the most common element pures and daimons can wield. That’s a problem.”

“Gee, you think so?”

He increased the pressure until it felt like someone was sitting on my chest. I squirmed, but that was about all. “What did I tell you about the elements, Alex?”

“Something about… magic being… all in the head,” I gasped.

“No. The elements are very real—obviously. You have to force yourself through it, Alex. Push.”

I still didn’t get what he meant by
push
, but he kept telling me to do it every time this happened.

“If you can’t push through it than you’re going to be a daimon snack again, Alex. They’re going to smell that aether in you and go crazy. You sure you want to be a Sentinel?”

Now he was just pissing me off. “Shut up, Seth.”

He stepped over me, planting his legs on either side of my prone body. Crouching down, he brought his face close to mine. “Remember, you’re not fast food to them; you’re like the best steak this side of the continent.”

“You say that… like it’s a good thing.”

Seth smiled like he knew some kind of private joke. “Concentrate. You need to concentrate on moving forward. Picture yourself sitting up, Alex.”

I stared at him.

He sighed, rolling his eyes. “Close your eyes and picture yourself sitting up.”

Cursing under my breath, I did as he asked. I closed my eyes and pictured myself sitting up. “Okay.”

“Focus on that image. Hold it in your mind. Focus.”

I did as he asked, but all I managed was to get one leg to bend. And that exhausted me. “This is ridiculous. A daimon would’ve already killed me by now.”

“A daimon would’ve already bitten into your skin by now.” His eyes fastened onto mine, refusing to let go. “But you know that, don’t you?”

A ragged breath leaked from my tightly pressed lips. My skin practically burned at the reminder, and Seth knew it.

“How many times were you tagged, Alex?” Seth reached down and brushed the hair off my neck. “I can count at least three on this side of your neck.”