Pure (Book 1, Pure Series) (40 page)

           
I looked up at William.
 
His face was still stone.

           
"William," I began, "I don't entirely understand—"

           
He turned to look at me.
 
His eyes were desolate.

           
The expression on his face made me freeze.
 
It was hard for me to see him looking so hurt.

           
"William, Innokenti said you were Sídh.
 
Then he said you were a vampire.
 
What are you?"

           
"I am cursed," he said bitterly.

           
"Cursed?"

           
He looked away.
 
"The funny thing is that I was suspicious of you at first because of Galina.
 
I thought you were going to help her to help Gleb.
 
And that nearly tore me apart because of the way I felt about you.
 
That first time I saw you at your house after the visit from Galina I—"

           
I remembered thinking at the time that I had seen a figure in the shadows.
 
I realized now that I had seen William there.

           
He looked back at me.
 
"And now I find that the truth is even worse.
 
You're one of them.
 
You're Sídh.
 
I am cursed and you know it.
 
How you must have laughed at me."
 
He shook his head and looked away again.

           
I put a hand on his shoulder.
 
"William, I didn't know I was Sídh until today.
 
I'd never even heard that word until today.
 
Galina told me that my grandfather was Sídh, and that I was born to use this."
 
I gestured up at the clear fire.
 
"But I don't know what I'm doing, or what being Sídh could possibly mean.
 
And I don't believe you're cursed."

           
I could feel the tension in his shoulder relax, and he turned to look at me.
 
He took both my hands in his.
 
His eyes were earnest and searching.
 
"You shouldn't say that – not yet.
 
I want you to know the truth – even if you despise me for it.
 
I was Sídh once, though I can barely remember that life.
 
I was attacked one night by a vampire – one very ancient and very powerful.
 
He attempted to turn me and it worked – partially.
 
Vampire blood does course through my veins.
 
I can feel their hunger, but I do not need to indulge it.
 
I don't need human blood to live – though Innokenti and the others tell me I would be stronger if I took it.
 
But despite the fact that I don't need human blood, I am not the same as I was.
 
The Sídh would not take me back afterward.
 
I am not pure.
 
The Sídh avoid me, shun me.
 
They stole my memories, and they turned me out.
 
All I have left is my name, and only my strongest core memories remain, including a vague memory that I was once happy.
 
The vampires found me and brought me here.
 
They tried to make me one of them.
 
From what I understand, there is an ancient enmity between the Sídh and the vampires."

           
He laughed harshly.
 
"But I will help them to protect their people.
 
I accepted their assignment to combat Gleb – they seem to have known that he would escape the crypt one day.

           
"I am cursed to roam the day and the night, cut off from everything I once loved."

           
He continued to hold my hands, but his gaze faltered, and he looked down.

           
"I don't believe you're cursed," I said again.

           
His hand gripped mine convulsively, and in the next moment, he pulled me into his arms.
 
His body was warm – very warm, and I could feel all his longing and loneliness in the way he held me.

           
"Would you run if I tried to kiss you?" he asked.

           
"No," I said.

           
He kissed me then, and I could feel fire run through my veins.
 
I clung to him.
 
I never wanted the kiss to end.

           
Far too soon, William stepped back and took my hands again.
 
"I'm forgetting myself.
 
It's not safe for you out here."

           
"But I'm with you," I said.

           
He shook his head.
 
"Not even when you're with me.
 
You should send the clear fire back to where it came from, and I should get you home."

           
Still holding William's hands, I closed my eyes and concentrated on the clear fire.
 
I began to sing.
 
I had a strong feeling that his presence would help rather than hinder my nascent abilities.
 
And I didn't want to let go of him – ever.

           
I bent my mind toward sending the clear fire back to its hiding place.
 
I felt the light go out above me, and I opened my eyes.
 
William and I were now standing in the darkness.
 
I felt a tiny surge of hope – I had successfully managed to find the clear fire and send it away again – all on the same night.
 
Maybe I could actually use it to defeat Gleb.

           
"I should get you home," William said again.

           
He started to pull me forward.

           
"Wait, William," I said.
 
"I can't see.
 
Let me get out my flashlight."

           
"You don't need it," he said.
 
"The trees here have a natural luminescence.
 
Your eyes will adjust after a moment, and until then, I can see well enough for the both of us.
 
I can guide you."

           
We moved through the woods at a swift, but not uncomfortable pace, and soon I could make out the ghostly white trees all around us.
 
William led me to a car that was parked behind the monastery.
 
I was a little disappointed.
 
None of the supernatural creatures I had encountered so far ever seemed to travel by superhuman methods – at least not while I was around.

           
As we settled into the car, I glanced over at William – he looked so young.
 
Surely, he was a teenager like me.
 
"Are you sure you're old enough to drive?"

           
"Perfectly sure.
 
The memories are dim, but when I first encountered humans, their most advanced form of travel was the horse."

           
After I gave William directions to Odette's house, we drove swiftly through the night, and I had the very disorienting feeling that we were going at a dangerous speed.
 
I avoided looking at the speedometer.
 
I didn't want to know for sure and scare myself.

           
I felt my heart sink when we pulled up to the house.
 
I didn't want to say goodnight to William.

           
We both got out of the car and stood in the light of one of the street's two working streetlights.
 
William took my hands again and then let them go.
 
I felt the loss of his touch keenly.

           
"You should go in and go to sleep," he said quietly.
 
"Gleb will not harm you in the night.
 
I will see to that."

           
I was suddenly worried.
 
"You're not going to try to fight Gleb tonight, are you?"

           
William gave me a small smile.
 
"Innokenti said not to."

           
I relaxed.
 
"Then I will sleep soundly, knowing that you will be safe, too."

           
I walked up to the house and turned to look at William one last time before I went in.
 
Once inside, I couldn't help looking out through the curtains to see if he was still there.
 
He was, and his head was bowed – dejection was written in every line of his body.
 
I let the curtain drop, and I hurried to the door.

           
When I opened it, he was gone.

Chapter 18.

My dreams that night were troubled and broken.
 
I was worried about William.
 
And the feverishness I had felt earlier returned with a vengeance.

           
I kept waking up.
 
My skin was hot and my throat was dry and sore.
 
My hair clung damply to my face and neck.
 
My limbs and chest were beginning to ache.
 
My covers seemed to hurt any place they touched me, so I threw them on the floor.
 
I turned from side to side and pushed my pillows onto the floor, too.
 
It was impossible for me to find a position that was comfortable.

           
There was a gentle knock on my bedroom door, and I ignored it.
 
I didn't want to talk to anyone.
 
I had an idea that if I could get some unbroken sleep that the pain and the fever would go away.

           
The door opened, letting in the light from the hall, and I shut my eyes tightly.
 
I hoped that if I pretended to be asleep, whoever it was would go away.

           
"Katie, are you all right?" asked a soft voice.

           
I opened my eyes.
 
It was Odette.
 
I turned away from her.

           
Odette came into the room.
 
"Katie, what's wrong?
 
I could hear you crying from my room."

           
I hadn't realized I'd been crying.
 
I passed a hand over my eyes.
 
My fingers came away wet.

           
"And why have you thrown all your covers on the floor?" Odette asked.
 
"The night is too cold for you to sleep without them."

           
She pressed a hand to my forehead.
 
Her hand felt like ice against my hot skin.
 
I pulled away from her.

           
"Oh, Katie, you're burning up," Odette said.

           
She bent down and retrieved my pillows, which she placed under my head.
 
Then she picked up my covers.
 
"You don't have to have the heavier ones, but you should at least have the sheet."

           
Odette drew the sheet up over me, and then folded my other covers up and placed them at the foot of the bed.

           
"I will be right back.
 
Don't throw away your pillows or your covers while I'm gone," she ordered gently.

           
Odette returned a few moments later with a cool, damp cloth that she pressed to my forehead and the sides of my face.
 
I wasn't exactly comfortable, but I was starting to feel calmer.
 
I began to realize that some of my panic had come from not being fully awake – I had been in some kind of half-waking nightmare made of emotions rather than images.
 
Now that I was properly awake, I was better able to deal with the pain and feverishness.

           
"You should have something to drink," Odette said.
 
"Would you like some tea?"

           
"No," I said quickly.
 
"Nothing hot."

           
"Perhaps you are right," Odette said.
 
"I will bring you water."

           
Odette left the room and was soon back with a glass of water.

           
I sat up and drank it, wincing at first at the coldness of it.
 
But soon the coolness began to feel soothing.

           
"Oh, Katie, you are terribly unwell, aren't you," Odette said.
 
She gave me a stern look.
 
"Now this is important – keep drinking liquids and get some sleep.
 
If you do that you'll feel better in the morning."

           
"Isn't it morning yet?" I asked.
 
I had been outside in the forest for a long time, and then I had slept, albeit not well.
 
It seemed to me that it had to be morning.
 
I hoped it was, and I hoped I would see William again.

           
"No, well, I suppose it is, technically."
 
Odette smiled at me.
 
"It's about four in the morning.
 
But dawn is still a little way off."

           
She glanced at my empty glass.
 
"I'll get you more water, and I'll tell Annushka that you have a fever."

           
She paused at the door.
 
"Remember what I said – sleep and you will feel better."