Pure Healing (18 page)

“Yeah, okay,” Tristan said, “but it’s not just yourself you have to worry about now, it’s the Healer too. What would become of her if something should happen to you?”
Right now, in the middle of the Phoenix Cycle, it didn’t bear thinking, but Valerius knew that after she survived him, there would be other Consorts. It wasn’t as if her longevity depended solely on him. The thought of future Consorts Nourishing the Healer made his heart shrivel and his soul recoil, so he focused back on the present. As much as he hated to admit it, the knight had a point. But with things as they were, he was hardly of use to the Healer.
He was a sorry excuse as a Consort.
For the past few days, Rain had barely fed from him. And then, only from his wrist when she was obviously starving and couldn’t help herself any more. She went about her days as if they had never been bonded, as if she were perfectly well and Nourishment was a luxury rather than a sheer necessity. He’d tried to tempt her into more than just taking his blood, but she resisted gently, always with a ready excuse, always with a tender smile as if he were a fragile, wounded animal who couldn’t withstand further injury.
And he was so useless he constantly flagellated himself with derision and hatred. He knew any Puremale worth his salt would be able to drum up a seduction to break through her reticence, but he didn’t know the first thing about seduction. He was overwhelmed with uncertainty and mortification every time he tried to offer himself to her, and then he wallowed in hurt and self-disgust so acute from her gentle rejection that his blood turned to ice in his veins and tears of acid corroded his throat.
He didn’t delude himself of the truth: she no longer wanted him.
After he’d told her the horrors of his past, sparing the details but still revealing the sordid reality, she’d let him hold her tight, let him find redemption and comfort in the heat and softness of her body, like a lost little boy hugging his security blanket.
But everything changed after that night. She no longer looked upon him with covetous, desirous eyes. She barely looked at him at all. He felt the distance between them stretch into a veritable chasm, and an excruciating hollowness grew within him in equal proportion. He disgusted her now, he knew. She was too kind to give it expression. He felt her pity in the gentle tone of her voice. He saw her recoil whenever he tried to get closer.
It was killing him by slow degrees.
All the pain and torment of his past paled in comparison to how much it hurt to be rejected by her, to know that she would never want him again. For the first time in his existence he wished he’d never been born. He’d always fought the demons in his private hell without complaint, his only regret that he couldn’t protect his family. With his Gift and his power to defend the weak he’d accepted his past as payment towards a greater good.
But now his skin felt too tight for his flesh, blood and bones. Every breath he took in her presence felt like he was sucking sulfuric acid into his lungs rather than air. He felt defeated.
Destroyed.
Like his soul had splintered into a million shards and he was an empty shell going through the motions of a well-practiced routine.
And the worst of it was that he knew she was steadily weakening. At this rate, his insanity to apply to be her Consort would lead to her death. She’d been right at the very beginning.
He could never fulfill her needs.
“Snap out of it.” Tristan smacked Valerius’ head against the wall with enough force to make stars flash before the Protector’s eyes. “I don’t know where your mind just went, but I don’t like that look on your face.”
Valerius decided not to respond to the head banging with equal violence, but instead started to rise. Tristan pulled him back down with a hard yank.
“I’m not finished lecturing you,” the Champion said, keeping a restraining hand on Valerius’ arm.
Valerius resisted breaking the hand off for Ayelet’s sake but he speared the knight with a glare of warning.
“Yeah yeah, you’re going to shove my own fist up my ass if I don’t let go, I get it,” Tristan said without much concern, though he did loosen his hold on Valerius’ arm. “Just sit down for a minute and hear me out. Then you can wallow in self-pity to your heart’s content.”
Valerius scowled ferociously at the Champion’s words, but sat back down again, the determination and – strangely – understanding in the other male’s gaze making his body obey despite his mind’s rebellion.
“Look, I haven’t known you as long as Leo or Xandros. One might say I barely know you at all,” Tristan began in a low serious tone. “You’re not exactly the chummy sort. We’re probably polar opposites where our personalities and preferences are concerned. But I trust you as a comrade. I care for you as a brother. I know you’re uncomfortable hearing it, but you have to know that.”
Tristan waited for Valerius’ reluctant nod.
“And as a brother, even when I don’t understand it, I can feel your pain. It’s my pain too,” Tristan continued, his gaze focused on the wall of weapons in the far end of the training room.
“I can even recognize the source of it, the real source of it,” he added when he felt Valerius’ dubious gaze. “There’s only one source for such depth of feeling, my man, and its name is woman.”
Valerius looked straight ahead again, realizing Tristan saw more than he let on.
“You have that same glassy eyed hypnotized look on your face that I used to have, and still have on many occasions, when I first found Ayelet, or rather when she found me. It’s called love.”
Valerius was well familiar with that particular beast. He’d wrestled with it everyday for ten years.
“And when a Pure-male falls in love, hell, when any male falls in love, you’re a slave to age-old instincts to win her, protect her, provide for her, Nourish her,” Tristan said with passion. “It has nothing to do with being her Consort, my brother, and everything to do with being her Mate.”
Tristan looked over at his silent comrade and sighed. “I see you’ve come to terms with the obvious. Now the question is what you’re going to do about it. In love, there’s no holding back,” Tristan told him with sudden, uncharacteristic insight. “You have to lay yourself bare, everything you are, at her feet and pray that she’ll put you out of your misery and accept you.”
“And if she doesn’t,” Tristan went on, “it has no bearing on what you have to do. You’re hers
regardless of her choice. It is your duty, your very purpose for existing, to ensure her strength and vitality. You have what she needs, Val.”
When Valerius’ eyes became shuttered with selfdoubt, Tristan laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “You have what she needs,” he said again. “And you’re capable of giving her more than she’d ever bargained for because you love her. Whether she wants it or not, it’s your gift to give her. True love requires no reciprocation. True love is unconditional.”
Valerius could barely feel the male’s hand on his shoulder as he absorbed the words and realized the truth of them. Vaguely, he felt Tristan rise to his feet, but he didn’t look up.
“Go to her, Valerius,” he heard the Champion say. “Before it’s too late.”
*** *** *** ***
“No fair! You cheated!” Sophia exclaimed, shoving Aella aside with one hand, the other still madly squeezing the buttons of the remote. At the rate she was going, her new game console wasn’t going to last a week.
Aella calmly glided her thumbs across the action buttons and pulled a double spin kick and lethal overhead slam on Sophia’s character, knocking him flat into the ground with a loud echoing groan of death.
Game over.
Sophia threw the remote down with more force than necessary and kicked it to the wall for good measure. “It’s just
wrong
to have an ancient Amazon kicking my ass on Dynasty Warrior,” she pouted.
“Hey, watch who you’re calling ancient,” Aella retorted, stretching her arms above her head with feline grace. She remained sitting cross-legged on the floor, almost Buddha like, zen master of fighting games that she was.
“Can’t you at least pick a different character to play with?” Sophia whined. “You always play with Zhao Yun. I at least try everyone else and get well-rounded in my combat tactics, but you just excel with one character.”
It sounded like sour grapes, but Aella didn’t point that out. Instead she said, “Why mess with perfection? Zhao Yun is my favorite fighting character. I’m not about to trust a military campaign upon enemy forces with an untested general. And as it happens, he’s also one of the most powerful characters. In my hands, at least, he’s invincible.”
“You can at least teach me the tricks,” Sophia insisted. She was never going to beat Aella at the game at this rate.
“It’s not like I hoard secrets,” Aella replied. “I showed you the combo moves and the power moves, but your fingers aren’t agile enough. Not my fault.”
Sophia narrowed her eyes. “You rigged the console, didn’t you?”
Aella chortled at the outrageous accusation. “Come on, babe, have the grace to admit defeat. I can’t help it if Yun and I are like this,” she said, crossing her fingers to indicate the tightness of their virtual bond. “I barely have to stroke the buttons and he kicks ass like nobody’s business. We make an unbeatable team. What can I say?”
Giving up on her tirade with a huff, Sophia sat back down beside the Amazon, switching the display to a new game, a single-player racing game that Aella couldn’t beat her at.
“So what’s eating at you, chica?” Aella asked quietly, noting the lines of frustration around the young Queen’s mouth.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” came the rote denial.
Aella did her elegant non-eye-rolling move. “Oh, just that you seem a little stressed lately. A little more prone to throw tantrums. PMS?”
“I do not throw tantrums!” Sophia retorted at a near shout, then lowered her voice and said, “I’m just a little pissed off.”
“Hmm. Boy trouble?”
“Is there any other kind?”
Aella shrugged. She wouldn’t know. She didn’t ever have boy troubles. Whatever male she wanted, she got. Not all the way of course, but close enough.
Intercourse was overrated.
Sophia’s slim shoulders drooped an inch. “I’m kinda confused,” she admitted. Then she asked without turning toward Aella, “Have you ever liked two guys at once?”
Aella gave that a minute or two of thought. Finally she said, “I’m a one-man woman. At least, I’m only interested in one man at a time. Now, the attraction might not last past a day or two, or sometimes even an hour or two, but while I’m with a man, I’m completely focused on him. I see no others.”
“Huh,” Sophia absorbed that as her shoulders slumped a little more. “I guess I’m more of a twotimer.” She sounded very upset at herself at the revelation.
Aella smiled at Sophia’s disgruntled look. “Ere got competition, does he?”
The Queen sighed dramatically. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I haven’t seen him in a while. The professor says he went on a short research trip and would be back in a few more days. I probably just miss him.”
Suddenly Sophia squared her shoulders. “Not that I have any right to miss him. I mean, he’s just my teaching assistant, and he’s very nice and all. It’s not like we have any relationship beyond class.”
Aella did not argue. What would be the point? Rather, she focused the topic on the mysterious male Sophia confessed to two timing Ere with. “So who’s behind door number two?” she asked casually, making sure she didn’t sound too curious.
Sophia hunched again, hiding the side of her face with her shoulder and arm. “Nobody you know.”
Aella smelled the big fat lie from a mile away. “I won’t point out that it’s my business to know everyone you know,” she reminded the girl. “I’ll just say that this guy must be pretty incredible to have you compare him against Ere. That male was one fine piece of –”
“Yeah, thanks,” Sophia cut her off before she got too graphic. She never felt threatened by Aella’s beauty and sexuality before, but right this moment she felt inexplicably possessive and protective of both her men. Not that they were hers, she added to herself. “And I’m not really comparing them. They’re just… different. Polar opposites, almost. They’re not comparable.”
“But you like both of them,” Aella said, her tone not a question.
“I don’t know if I like either of them,” Sophia replied. “I just feel… confused when I’m with them. It’s no big deal.”
As the young Queen concentrated on increasing her racing score, Aella knew that the conversation had ended. Sophia wasn’t about to reveal more tonight.
Ah, young love, Aella thought. There was nothing like the headiness of a first crush. Or first crushes, rather. It was all good.
She narrowed her eyes at Sophia’s profile.
It was all good as long as the Queen didn’t fall in love in earnest.

Rain wearily dragged herself into the Phoenix Enclosure around midnight. Her legs felt like they weighed a ton, and she was so dizzy she felt as if her head was about to roll off her shoulders. Despite her resolve to spare Valerius as much as possible from her needs, she must avail herself to his Nourishment tonight. The how, she’d have to be creative about. Perhaps while he slept, perhaps she would simply use her
zhen
…

Abruptly, Rain stopped just as she stepped beyond the threshold of the inner chamber of the Enclosure. Like the night of their bonding, Valerius stood before the wall tapestry, gazing silently at the landscape of her homeland.

Entirely nude. Waiting for her.
Every time she beheld him, her heart threatened to pound its way out of her chest. Just the sight of him invigorated her.
At the sound of the chamber door closing, Valerius turned toward the Healer, revealing the state of his arousal and readiness to Serve her.
“I will Nourish you this night,” he said in his low, husky voice.
Rain started to protest, he could see her grasping at excuses, but he interrupted her before she could speak, “You
will
take me,” he said resolutely. “You will accept me into your body.”
Rain was speechless, his words making her flash hot and cold. He sounded commanding, and Valerius was never commanding. Not with her. Not like this. He always relented to her wishes, even when she was just torturing herself with denial.
As she watched him agape, he closed the distance between them in three long strides and before she could blink, his mouth was hot and insistent upon hers.
Oh the male could kiss!
Rain reflexively arched her body upwards and stood on tiptoe to better match his passionate assault. She wrapped her arms around his waist and stretched her hands possessively over his muscular backside, her nails digging into the unyielding flesh as she tried to get better purchase.
He slanted his hot mouth over and over against hers, his tongue sweeping in voluptuous strokes, mating with her own. He sucked at her plump lips with a single-minded focus, as if every action was calculated to deliver the maximum impact, to arouse her beyond control.
Rain rejoiced in the feel of his massive erection prodding demandingly at her belly, refusing to be ignored.
Not tonight.
Oh Goddess she’d waited so long for this. Too long to feel him against her like this. She barely dared to imagine that soon his blood would be flowing through her veins, his body joined intimately with hers, filling her, Nourishing her, bringing her untold pleasure.
She squeezed his buttocks with surprising force, and he groaned deeply at the wordless urging to mate.
At the guttural sound, the haze of mindless passion lifted enough for Rain to realize what she was doing. What she was pushing him to do. Abruptly she pulled out of his embrace and took a couple of hasty steps back, then one more for good measure, until she was out of arm’s reach.
Chest heaving, ears ringing, she stared at him aghast, furious with herself for losing control. “I-I don’t think this is a good night for me,” she lied through her teeth.
“And besides, we have to set out early tomorrow for China,” she stuttered, desperately searching her frazzled brain for a plausible excuse. “I had a long day and I-I just need a bit of blood. But it doesn’t have to be right now,” she added. “I can take it tomorrow morning before you’re awake.” Like she’d been doing for the past few days.
Valerius forced himself to stay still, even though his heart and soul staggered back like the fatally wounded at the cruelty of her rejection.
Yet again.
He forced his expression to remain stoic, though the muscle in his jaw ticked involuntarily as the only outward sign of his distress, and stated quietly, “We
will
mate tonight. You
will
take me into your body.”
“Valerius, please,” she started to say, shaking her head, “you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to –”
“Isn’t this the duty of the Consort?” he broke in, “isn’t this what you shared with every other Consort you’ve chosen? There must have been hundreds, you said you admired and respected each one. I am not asking that of you. I don’t expect that much.”
In a voice so low she almost couldn’t hear, he added, “I know I am worthless.”
And in that moment, Rain understood the source of his pain. She’d been entirely mistaken all this time. She’d intended to give him space and not demand his Service of her when she knew the way in which he’d been brutalized in the past, the memories that must still haunt him whenever he felt another’s touch. She thought she was being kind, she thought staying away would atone for the selfishness and greed that had led her to choose him as her Consort.
But she saw now that her refusal to take his Nourishment only hurt him more. And her heart broke at the sight of this brave, strong, beautiful warrior bowing his head in shame.
Without a word she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms tightly around his back, pressing her tearstreaked face to his chest, shaking her head to refute his self-condemnation. She was sobbing so hard she couldn’t get enough air to speak, so she just hugged him to her tighter, willing him to feel her apology, her empathy, her unfettered desire for him.
His arms full of weeping woman, Valerius knew not what to do. Had he gone too far to demand her acceptance of him?
“I-” he forced down the lump in his throat and tried again, “I would Serve you any way you want, just tell me how. I would do anything you want,” he swallowed and forced out, “Anything.”
Rain continued to shake her head, the power of speech beyond her. The raw words that tore from him only made it worse. She could feel how much it cost him to say these things, to surrender so much of himself, in essence laying himself entirely vulnerable before her, to do with as she pleased.
But Valerius could not read her as clearly as she was able to read him. Besieged by self-doubt, he couldn’t even begin to guess at how she felt. Was she afraid of his size? Maybe he’d hurt her the last time, he feared, a wave of nausea overwhelming him, maybe he’d pushed her too hard.
“You can tie me down if it eases your mind,” he offered with a note of desperation, the very idea almost killing him. “There are chains that –” he squeezed his eyes shut as horrific memories assailed him, making his body quake with torment, but he made himself go on, “you can keep me restrained. You can have all control. Just…
please
… take my Nourishment. Take me.”
Unable to stand it anymore, Rain grabbed the back of his neck and tugged his head down to hers, silencing him with a soul-searing kiss. She told him with her body and mouth how much she wanted him, how endlessly she craved him, how beautiful and pure he was to her.
“There will be no restraint,” she finally uttered against his mouth. “Not for either one of us. I want to lose myself in your body. I want to fill myself to overflowing with your Nourishment.”
Valerius released a long shuddering breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. She would accept him. She
wanted
him.
He swept her into his arms and carried her to the bed in two ground-eating strides. When he bent over to lay her down upon the silken sheets, she yanked her thin white slip off, wrapped her arms and legs around his neck and hips and brought him down on top of her. As he pushed to his elbows to keep some weight off her, she sank her fangs voraciously into the vein along his throat.
Valerius hissed at the sensation of her first deep draw and the transformation that blind-sighted him, elongating and infusing his muscles with the irresistible urge to Mate. The scent of his essence blossomed in the air, surrounding them both with its intoxicating headiness. He struggled to keep his weight off of her, tried to keep his body from overwhelming her. And he almost succeeded but for the persistent push of his penis as it burrowed unerringly at the lips to her core.
Rain opened herself immediately to his possession. She let go of his throat and arched her back like a bow, thrusting her hips forward in one fluid motion to take the head of him inside.
They both gasped at the incredible pleasure, but for Valerius, it was also pain, for the pressure building inside of him made him feel like he was going to explode out of his own skin.
Rain’s hands moved down to clutch his shoulders, her nails digging into his trapezoids as she widened her legs and flexed her hips to take more of him inside. Again she pushed in a voluptuous undulation and gained two more hot, steely inches.
Valerius couldn’t control his body’s trembling, but he willed himself with everything he had to stay still, to let her set the pace, let her take control. Every instinct told him to ram the rest of the way into her, but he held back.
He’d die before he hurt her.
As if her bones had melted and her flesh turned to liquid, Rain continued to stretch and open herself, taking more of him inside by slow, rapturous degrees. The process itself of taking him fully within her body had ignited so much pleasure, her inner muscles contracted repeatedly in small bursts of orgasms.
Valerius gritted his teeth through the feeling of her vaginal walls milking him, stoking the pressure and fire within to unbearable heights.
After what seemed like an eternity, he was seated within her to the hilt. Rain splayed beneath him like a butterfly pinned to a wall, and then she slowly tightened her limbs around him, linking her hands around his lower back, locking her ankles around his buttocks.
That action in itself, enfolding him fully in her embrace, rubbed the head of him deliciously against her pleasure center deep inside. And while she’d stretched to accommodate his size, her pleasure spot had elongated along with her internal walls until it felt like her entire vaginal canal was one giant clitoris turned inside out. Even the smallest friction, the slightest rub of his satiny staff within her sparked torrents of pleasure throughout her body.
On a long, broken moan, she crested upon an orgasm so intense her entire body squeezed him like a steel vise.
Valerius couldn’t help his answering groan, vibrating throughout his tortured, sweat-dampened body. He raised his head to look down upon her. The sight of her head thrown back in ecstasy, her cheeks glowing with heat and arousal, her soft, pliant body trembling at the intensity of the pleasure he brought her almost sent him over the edge.
But he couldn’t let go. His body wouldn’t release. And he hurt so badly he could barely breathe. Fighting back the incredible pain, Valerius squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his jaw against cowardly cries that threatened to escape.
As the long, euphoric crest of her orgasm subsided, Rain looked upon the Protector and felt her heart stutter. Knowing the depth of his anguish, the source of his torment, Rain reached up with both hands to cup his face.
“Come with me,
airen
,” she entreated him, “look at me.”
Slowly, Valerius relaxed his tightly shut eyes and gazed into the Healer’s shimmering orbs. In them he saw understanding, acceptance, admiration and gratitude.
And then she smiled.
That slow, Mona Lisa smile that set every cell in his body ablaze. She pulled his face down to hers and nibbled gently on his earlobe. At the same time, her lower body squeezed him languorously, wetly, silkily drawing him deeper into her, then releasing slightly only to draw him back.
Valerius gasped at the inexorable pulls of her core upon his sex. All of his energy and power coalesced in the place where they were intimately joined. All he wanted to do was to release his life force into her.
It was the Nourishment she needed. It was the release that would heal him.
Her lips beside his ear, Rain began to whisper softly in her native tongue. Her hands roamed down his back to clutch his buttocks possessively, urgently.
He didn’t know what she said to him, but he caught the one word that she repeated over and over again.
Airen
.
Lover. Beloved.
Valerius let loose his deepest desires and let himself imagine, for one moment, that she truly loved him. And as his mind and heart opened, he felt his heavy testicles contract sharply a split second before his orgasm exploded throughout his body, filling her with his seed, the Nourishment she craved, in great undulating waves.
He groaned deeply at the indescribable sensation of being set free.
Finally, after an eternity of Hell, after millennia of restraint, his body, mind, and spirit soared. For the first time in his too-long existence, he felt undiluted pleasure. In Rain’s embrace, he tasted his first slice of happiness and peace.
Rain sobbed with relief and joy at the feeling of being filled by Valerius’ Nourishment. Her body drank him thirstily in shuddering gulps. Immediately, she was infused with strength and vitality. Her blood practically sang at the return of her power. In his body, she found Heaven. Never had she known such bliss.
It seemed to go on forever, the shockwaves that racked him, the intense pleasure-pain that blazed through him, and she seemed to absorb it all into herself, her core sucking and pulling at him even more hungrily. He could no longer keep his weight balanced off her. Every muscle seemed to flash fire, then numbness, then fire again.
And then she whispered, “I’m sorry” as she wrapped her limbs more tightly around him, needles of her hair penetrating his pores.
Just as his orgasm started to ebb, a blast of breathtaking pain followed so close on its heels, Valerius reeled from the impact. It was the same splintering pain he’d felt during the second day of the Rite when she’d tested him for endurance. She was releasing the accumulation of pain from the wounds she’d healed over the past ten years into him. Even dissipated and diffused, the onslaught brought him to his knees.
Valerius gulped for breath, his chest hurting with his wildly pounding heart, his entire body reduced to one giant wound.
But before he could even remotely prepare himself, she moaned huskily:
“Again.”
On command, Valerius’ body tightened from head to toe as another orgasmic onslaught overwhelmed him, jetting hot pulses of Nourishment into her.
The rapture of the release was quickly followed by the mind-blowing pain she funneled into him, making his veins stand out against his too-tight skin.
The warrior’s broken gasps gusting against her ear, Rain waited for the tremors to subside and rolled until she was draped like a rag doll on top of Valerius’ magnificent torso. She knew she was a glutton, she knew she was pushing him dangerously to the edge. She knew she should pace herself, but Goddess above, it felt so
gooood
.
His Nourishment was like no other she’d had. It was her very own ambrosia, her incurable addiction. And the way his body fit hers, stretched hers, filled hers – there was no pleasure greater in her entire existence. The feel of him, the scent of him, the taste of him… her fangs ached so badly to sink into him, she gave into the compulsion and latched onto his throat once more.
“Again.”
On a groan so guttural and deep he physically vibrated with the primal sound, Valerius’s body erupted once more into the Healer’s.
Continuously, he gave and gave and gave.
He felt wrung out, yet so full he was bursting at the seams. He felt depleted, yet powerful and invigorated at the same time. He felt such wondrous pleasure it brought tears to his eyes, yet never had he endured pain so acute, so devastating.