Pure Lust Vol. 4 (9 page)

“For the record, I’m already working as a serious model.”

I stiffened, her comment cutting straight through me. Never once, in the years we’d known each other, had she ever not supported my career choice. She’d never held it over my head that I’d been trying—and failing— to break into the business while her own career kept going at a steady incline.

In the taut silence that followed her words, I could hear her breathing over the phone and I could count the beats of my own heartbeat. A good twenty seconds passed before either of us attempted to say anything.

“Well, I guess that puts me in my place,” I said quietly. Tears pricked at my eyes and I blinked rapidly, trying to clear them. Just because she couldn’t see them didn’t mean I wanted to let them out.

“Gabs…” She sounded as miserable as I felt. “Honey, I didn’t mean it like that. I know you’re serious about your writing and I know how hard you’re working. But...look, he loves you. He wants to take care of you and make you happy. You used to talk about how much you hated seeing so many homeless in the streets. Now you’ve got a man who will give you free access to his bank account. You could raise awareness and work at the shelters, all sorts of things. He’s being generous and sweet and you’re mad at him.”

“No.” I swallowed, hurting even more now than I had been last night. I’d thought she of all people would understand. She’d been on her own since she was nineteen, trying to make it in a field that was nearly impossible to break into. My voice was quiet as I spoke, “I’m not mad. I’m hurt. I’d hoped you’d understand that, but I guess I was wrong. I’ll talk to you later.”

Before she could say anything else, I hung up.

When she called back, I didn’t answer.

***

Reservations for brunch
.

I drew a line through it and made a note next to it. That was done. My to-do list was now down to three things.

I had to pick up Edward’s gift.

I had to pack for the lodge.

I had to buy lingerie to wear under my dress.

I was cutting it close and I’d planned on asking Kendra if she’d wanted to spend the afternoon running around with me to get two of those errands done, but that
wasn’t going to happen. The way things were going lately, I’d be surprised if I still wanted her in my wedding party.

“I’ll call Paul.” Talking to myself wasn’t quite the same as talking to a friend, but it was better than steaming and stewing in silence.

And yeah, I couldn’t really model any pretty lacy bits for Paul and speculate about how Edward would like them, but he could drive me around and talk to me. Somehow, his mild, easy manner always managed to make me feel better.

As I was reaching for the phone, it started to ring. The sight of Edward’s picture flashing across the screen didn’t do anything to settle my already jangled nerves. For a half second, I almost didn’t answer.

“Hello.”

“Gabriella.” There was a world of caution and reservation in his tone.

Slumping down in the chair, I closed my eyes.
Just a few more days. Once the wedding is over, you’ll feel better.

“I was wondering if you’d like to go out for lunch. Paul can drive you…”

“I’m not feeling well, Edward. It’s probably not a good idea.” I cut him off with the half-truth, ignoring the sharp stab of guilt that twisted through me. I did have a headache, but it wasn’t bad enough to stop me from doing something I truly wanted to do. Tightening my grip on the pencil I held, I stared at the sheet in front of me until it started to blur.

“Are you alright?” he asked. “Should I come home?”

“It’s just a headache.” Rolling my eyes, I pushed back from the desk. “I was going to take some ibuprofen and lay down for a little bit. I’m sure that will help.”

“Are you certain? I could call for a car, be there in thirty minutes. I—”

“No.” Now the headache was pulsing. “Edward, it’s a headache. It’s not that big a deal.”

By the time I had him off the phone, the dull headache had turned into a blade and it was stabbing me straight through the temple. Dropping my head down onto my folded arms, I mumbled, “I don’t need medication. I need a margarita.”

But I didn’t have time for that. I needed to buy new underwear and the gift for Edward. Swearing, I shoved back up. My elbow hit the computer mouse and the screen flared to life.

Today’s Job Listings
!

The email from a local agency. It was how I’d landed my last job, so I’d stayed on their mailing list, but nothing promising ever seemed to come of it. Reaching out, I grabbed the mouse, finger hovering, ready to delete. That’s when I saw it.

***

“Yes, sir. For two years.” I sat on the floor with my back against the desk. My legs were crossed, my fingers crossed. If it wouldn’t have made my headache worse, I would have crossed my eyes too.

I hadn’t deleted the email.

I’d actually read it and when I’d recognized one of the names, I’d attacked my phone, digging through the contacts for a number. We’d met only once, briefly, but he’d given me his number and told me to call him when I had more experience.

I had experience now, and more, I had determination.

This, if it happened, would be perfect.

“I’ll tell you what, Ms. Baine, if you can work for that...well, you know, you can probably work with just about anybody.” The man’s name was Benny Stern and his Bronx accent was absolutely amazing. “I need to see some of your work. I’m talking to people next week, Tuesday and Thursday.”

Deflated, I let a groan slip out when it was the last thing I should have done. “Shit.”

“Problem?”

“Well…yeah. I’m getting married Saturday. I’ll be away with my…well, my new husband for a few days.”

“Well, I’ll be. Congratulations, a few days early. Hmmm…let me think, let me think…”

A few minutes later, I hung up the phone, beyond dazed.

I had an appointment. Not just with some small-time, Saturday Night Live wannabe. No, I had an appointment with Benny Stern, one of the biggest names in sitcoms. Out here on the east coast, he was
the
name.

I couldn’t believe it.

***

I didn’t just pick up one set of lingerie. Not even two or three. After all, we were taking a mini-honeymoon. I needed plenty of sexy stuff for that. But I also wanted something special for tonight. We were celebrating. Even if he didn’t understand, I knew Edward would be happy for me.

Practically floating through the afternoon, I called back to the house, making plans with the chef for dinner. Finally,
finally
, something was going my way and I felt like a weight had fallen from my shoulders.

A case of nervous excitement had butterflies jittering around in my stomach and I was all but running around right up until I got the text from Paul, letting me know he’d be there with Edward in less than thirty minutes. I’d asked for a head’s up earlier because I wanted to surprise him with a nice meal—nicer than anything I could do without a lot of preparation—and I wanted to make sure
I
was ready too, when he came through the door.

The staff had finished up and left not even five minutes before I heard the car coming to a stop in front of the house. With one last glance in the mirror to check my make-up and hair, I hurried down the steps, heels in hand. At the bottom, I stepped into them, fluffed my hair and smiled just as the door opened and Edward came inside.

Moving toward him, I rose onto my toes and pressed a kiss to his mouth. “Hello, handsome.”

“Hmmmm.” He stood there as I kissed him, one hand stroking down my back and coming to rest just above my ass.

I lowered myself back down, the excitement building inside all over again, bubbling up like champagne.

The distracted look on Edward’s face had some of those little bubbles popping.

“Is everything okay?” I eased back, smiling as I stroked his cheek, wondering if he’d notice the dress or my hair, only to chastise myself a moment later. Edward always
noticed things like that. That was what he did.

“Of course.” With his hand on my elbow, he guided me away from the door. When he started to lead me toward his study, I caught his hand, turning around and walking backward, pulling him along with me.

“Come on.” Grinning, I angled my head toward the arched entry. Music played softly and candles glowed from the mantle and the table. “Dinner’s done.”

He paused in the doorway.

I held my breath. Now he’d ask what was going on and I could tell him my news. Whatever had him so distracted would fade away and we could celebrate.

“This looks lovely.” His fingers danced along the back of my neck before he moved to pull out my chair.

Deflated, I slid into the seat and waited for him to take his. Maybe it was too much to ask for him to inquire about why I’d made things special. Maybe he assumed it was about the upcoming wedding so he wasn’t curious. I couldn’t fault him for that. I’d just come out with it then.

“I had lunch with Kendra today.”

I jerked so hard, my hand knocked my water glass. Catching it before it could spill, I stared at the drops beading on the polished table. “I…” I frowned and shook my head. It was strange, but not concerning, though I wasn’t sure why he felt the need to tell me. “Okay. I assume you had a nice lunch?”

“We talked.” Edward lifted his glass of wine, but put it down without drinking. “Sweetheart, we’re both concerned.”

“Concerned.” Drawing the word out, I stared at the drops of water, concentrating on them instead of looking at Edward. He hadn’t commented on my clothes or my hair or the meal. Hadn’t noticed that I’d been excited when he’d come home. But he was telling me about his lunch with Kendra and how concerned they were. “I had a headache earlier. It was just a headache.”

“It’s not that.” He gave me a gentle smile with a hint of condescension. “It’s, well, Gabriella, it’s a little bit of everything. You’re short-tempered with my mother. You don’t seem to appreciate how much she’s doing for you. When I asked you about why you want to work, you got upset—”

“I got upset because you don’t seem to understand that I like to work. I don’t need you to take care of me. It’s sweet that you want to, but why can’t you just respect that I like providing for myself?” I’d had enough. If I had to listen to much more of his
concern
, I wouldn’t be able to maintain a civil tone.

The slim fitting dress I’d put on especially for tonight suddenly seemed too hot, too confining and the heels I’d picked out just for him were killing my feet. I kicked them off as I twisted my carefully tousled hair into a careless knot. I didn’t have anything to hold it into place, though, so I shoved back from the table and stormed out into the entryway and grabbed my purse from the Queen Anne table sitting under the mirror. After finding a band for my hair, I twisted it up again and went back into the dining room.

Edward opened his mouth, but I cut him off before he could start again. “And your mother? I’m supposed to appreciate the way she bends over backward to make me feel small and worthless? How she tries to take my wedding and make into something about her?” Wrinkling my nose, I mimicked her tone as I repeated some of her more caustic comments, “
Gabriella, darling, I realize you don’t understand how these things work, but really, make sure your family knows they do need to wear
appropriate
clothing…no blue jeans to the wedding,
please
.
” I took a step toward him. “
Really, Gabriella. Some rag off a discount rack won’t do for a Bouvier
.”

“You’re overreacting,” he said, his voice calm.

“The hell I am!” I snapped, my accent coming back with a fury. “She was pissed that I actually bought my dress without getting her approval. My wedding and I wasn’t supposed to buy the dress I wanted. She keeps harping on my family’s appearance, like she thinks they’ll be dressed in overalls and sweat-stained wife-beaters, and you’re telling me that I’m just supposed to let her insult me and mine without batting an eyelash?”

Without even being there, Claire had managed to ruin things. Now I was so upset I was about ready to cry and I spun away, dashing at the tears before they could fall. My makeup was ruined anyway. The whole damn night was ruined. I couldn’t even have one night with my fiancé to celebrate what could be a huge break for me.

“Sweetheart…” Behind me, Edward sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. I hadn’t realized Mom was behaving that way. I’ll handle her. I’m sorry. Perhaps…”

His voice trailed away. Sourly, I asked, “Perhaps what?”

“I’m just thinking that perhaps Kendra was right and—”

“Dammit!” Throwing my hands up in the air, I whirled back to face him. “Guess what, Edward? Kendra isn’t involved in this. She’s hardly even there when I need to talk and when we do talk, she’s too busy telling me what I did wrong to even listen to what I have to say. She’s concerned? About what? She doesn’t even understand what the hell is going on so she has no right to have an opinion about it!”

I cut around him to go to the door, pausing by the table to stare at the beautifully prepared dinner that would now go to waste. Bitterness lay on the back my tongue while a hollow ache set in my chest.

“I had the staff make your favorite dinner,” I said softly. “I wanted to tell you...” I stopped and shook my head. What was the point? “Never mind. I guess it wouldn’t be important to you anyway.”

Chapter 11

There were times when a woman needed to reevaluate things and figure out who her real friends were. I was starting to feel like I was at that point.

I needed somebody who would be excited for me, happy.

Immediately, my mom came to mind, but I was sort of saving that news for when I saw her face-to-face, and I couldn’t tell any of my siblings because there’d be no way they could keep it a secret, even for a couple days.

A few months ago, the answer would have been Kendra, but something had changed since then. I didn’t know if she had changed, or if I had, but regardless, nothing was the same and if I called her, I doubted her excitement would be real.

A face came to mind, but I didn’t even let that become an idea. He was the last person I needed to talk to.