Purity

Kindle Edition

February 2013

Copyright © Claire Farrell 2013

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Licence Notes

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only and may not be re-sold. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Goodbyes

June

Perdita left her house, keys in hand, steeling herself for another trip to the hospital. Her father didn’t want to see her, so she would sit in the hallway again. At least he’d know she was there, and not with anyone else. Not choosing anyone over her family.

Not this time.

She turned a corner and felt a strange creeping sensation that caused the hairs on the back of her neck to stand on end. She turned slowly, half-expecting a werewolf attack. It would be exactly like her nightmares.

But it was him, standing there, looking at her as though nothing had changed.

Everything
had changed: her life, the magic, even her family. Nothing would ever be the same, and now she was forced to go through it alone.

He was still the same boy she once dreamed about, the same boy who made her insides feel as though she had just ridden on a roller coaster when he looked at her. Except these days, the stress was permanently present in his expression. The bags under his eyes matched her own. The biggest difference was that he had become part of her nightmares.

She should have turned back, kept going, but her foot took one step toward him, and his to her.

His eyes locked on hers, and she fought the desire to run. She wanted to hear his voice one more time, to feel close to him just once more. Even though the curse that tied them together had broken, freeing them both, she still fought the need to be near him, next to him, a part of his life. She couldn’t imagine waking up and not wanting to be with him. She didn’t remember what that felt like.

But she promised her father. A sincere promise, for a change.

“I came to say goodbye.” The words burst from his mouth as if he had been waiting to say them for days. He glanced away, closed his eyes for a second, and began again.

“I mean… I came to tell you what’s going on.” His cheeks flushed with colour, and she realised he pitied her, that this was embarrassing to him.

The last lingering hope had already curled up and died inside her. “You don’t owe me anything,” she said as coldly as she could manage, hurt scrambling its way out of her mouth before she could stop it. Pride wouldn’t allow her to take back the words or soften the harsh edges of her tone. She had to protect herself.

He retreated as if she had struck him, putting a clear distance between them. He gazed at her until she twitched, reminded of the times he’d drunk in her features as if committing them to memory. A reminder of everything she’d been trying to forget.

Those days were gone, she told herself, and she turned to leave, but his voice caught her in its hold again, stopping her in her tracks.

“How’s your dad?”

The wrong words. Anger burned in her throat and bristled in her chest at her pain and frustration with everything in her life. It wasn’t his fault that her father lay in a hospital bed, but she couldn’t keep the anger from her eyes, nor the chill from her words.

“Worse. We had a fight before I went to take care of Amelia. Before… while I was gone, he relapsed from the stress. He begged me to stay, but I didn’t, so…” She lowered her chin, unable to bear the sympathy in his eyes. She longed to reach out and touch him, to find the comfort she needed, the comfort that had once been hers to take, but the memory of how it had been cut out of her life was still too fresh to make that kind of a mistake.

“I’m so sorry.” His voice sounded tight. “We’re dealing with it. I promise you. We’re going after them. We won’t stop until we fix this. I’ll make sure they never hurt you again, Perdita.”

She forgot to avoid his eyes. “What on earth do you mean, you won’t stop?”

His eyes narrowed. “I’m going to make them pay. I’m doing this for you.”

“Doing what exactly?”

“Making you safe.” His pupils dilated into black shells that reminded her of his grandfather. His
mad
grandfather. “We’re going after him. Vin, I mean. We’re going to find him and end this once and for all.”

She was interested in spite of herself. “You know where he is?”

“Not exactly, but
Willow
’s leading the way. We’re not giving up this time. We’re going to make all of them pay, hunt down every last one of his pack.”

“So you’re going to keep fighting? Keep chasing shadows, hoping for a war?”

“You don’t understand. We’re protecting you. All of you. You might not be… not be mine anymore, but I’m never letting them hurt you again. Hurt anyone I… hurt
anyone
. I won’t allow it.” The last sentence was a growl that triggered the memories she wished she could forget.

“So more people have to suffer? More people have to die? Don’t you think you’ve done enough already?”

Her voice rose as the pressure and turmoil collided together in her brain. His expression changed, but she couldn’t pull back, couldn’t stop her emotions from flooding his.

“Why is there only ever violence with you people? Why can’t you even try to break the cycle? Someone innocent always gets hurt when werewolves get violent.”

“Are you talking about Amelia’s behaviour after she shifted for the first time? She didn’t mean for that to happen. None of us did.”

She stared at him in disbelief, at how much of a non-occurrence his sister’s violent attack had been to him. She had nightmares about his family, while he glossed over what happened.

“Besides,” he continued, apparently oblivious, “this is for you as much as anyone else.”

“No, thanks. I don’t want any more blood on my hands.”

“Don’t,” he said softly, reaching out a hand. “Ryan said—”

She backed away from him. “I don’t care what Ryan said!”

“You’re the one who told me to trust him.”

“I know I did, and I know what you’re doing. But it’s… you’re becoming one of
them
. Don’t you see it?”

“They killed my parents,” he said, his voice more of a growl than ever. “Am I supposed to let that go?”

She looked away, full of regret at his obvious pain. She wanted to comfort him, to make it all okay, but those days were over. Ryan told
her
, too.

“I’m sorry about your parents, but I can’t believe they would want this life for you. For any of you. I know Lia didn’t want it. There’s a difference between protecting your family and looking for trouble.”

“There’s no other way, Perdita. The only way I can protect
anyone
is to get rid of the threat. This time for good.”

She couldn’t stop her body from trembling. He wasn’t her Nathan anymore.

“You saw how hard it was for me, and yet you still treat death so lightly? You’re not even trying to change the way things are. The only solution is violence, each and every time, and it’s always the ones who don’t want it who get hurt.” Her lower lip quivered, and a lump in her throat threatened to break through her skin. “Sometimes… sometimes I wish I’d never laid eyes on you, Nathan.”

She turned away before she begged him to stay.

***

Nathan watched her walk away, leaving broken pieces of his heart in her wake. He didn’t know what to say, what to do. All he wanted was what they had before.

She hated him, was truly disgusted with him, and now that the curse had been torn apart, there was nothing keeping her at his side. Her words cut deep, searing into his soul as he saw the truth of them. He saw what he would become, but all he could do for her now was to keep her alive.

He preferred her alive to hate him than face the alternative, and he wasn’t so sure the wolves would ever leave her alone. Ryan’s word wasn’t enough of a guarantee.

He followed her at a distance, slightly ashamed of himself, but unable to walk away for good until the very last second. That last glimpse of her would always be etched in his brain. He would have to keep it buried to get through whatever came at him next.

He knew ending the curse was the right thing. He knew that was the way the world was supposed to work, but it had unbalanced every experience they had ever shared. He didn’t know if he could win her back, but he had to try. His wolf still recognised his mate, and that would never change for him.

First, he had things to do: keeping her safe and getting rid of the hate that lived inside his chest. His wolf didn’t make it any easier, but at least his animal side would do anything to protect her, even if it meant doing the very things that would make her turn on him.

But as the wolf mourned, the human had to stay in control, at least until faced with enemies.

Then he could say goodbye to his humanity for a while. Then he could be the animal he was born to be. It was all he had left.

And maybe one day, when the danger was gone, he could work at being normal.

***

Ryan

July

Ryan stalked her through long grass, hidden in the shadows of overhanging trees. She pranced through the grass as if she hadn’t a care in the world. She was small but deceptively fast, so he upped his pace when hers increased slightly.

Her scent filled his nostrils, and he couldn’t have walked away if he tried. He had to teach her a sorely needed lesson.

A twig snapped to the right, and her head jerked around, sunlight turning what was brown into gold. Smothering a growl, he crept forward, preparing to pounce.

She was gone in a flash, running on four legs into the distance before his hind legs could bend into a leap.

Foolish girl. She couldn’t hide.

The wolf to his right leaped through the undergrowth and onto the flat green area she had run to, but he would never catch her. She was too fast, already widening the distance between them.

Ryan stood a chance. He had managed to catch up to her every other time. She hadn’t quite built up her stamina yet, but she was getting faster, smarter, and more attuned to her wolf side. He couldn’t let her win. Not yet.

He didn’t hold back, and he was on her tail soon enough. She spun and twisted, turning and swerving to avoid his fangs. She feinted left, ducked right, and twirled around back the way she came. She faced the slower wolf then, her tongue hanging out in a wolfish grin as she easily dodged out of his way. Teasing him.