Purling Road - the Complete Second Season: Episodes 1-10 (25 page)

“Seven.”

He stiffened and looked away. “Right under my nose.”

“After every time, I swore I wouldn’t do it again. I wouldn’t risk it. And then I’d start thinking. I’d start remembering my last words to her…” Her voice broke and she wiped her eyes. “I knew you hated me. Things with us were terrible. The worse they got, the more I wanted to run away from everything. It was wrong. But it was the only reprieve I thought I had.”

Caleb sat thoughtfully for a few minutes, staring at the white tile of the floor.

“Is that where you met him? At the club?”

“Yes.”

His jaw flexed. “Did you see him every time you snuck out?”

“No. A few times I went out alone to different places.”

She pressed her head back into the pillow. “I don’t expect you to forgive me.”

“What if it were me?” he asked, raising his head. “If I had been going out, seeing a beautiful woman, leaving you at home to spend time with her, letting her hang all over me, whisper in my ear… would you forgive me?”

She blinked a few times. The thought set her soul on fire. “I would find it hard.”

They heard the doctor’s voice and Arianna grunted. The last thing she wanted was his stuffy judgmental ass barging in here, interrupting the conversation she’d been praying to have with Caleb.

As if her irritation had beckoned him, he whipped open the curtain, looked her up and down, and then his eyes went to Caleb.

“Ah. This must be your…” He paused, eyebrows raised.

“My husband,” she said, her teeth clenched.

“Oh.” He looked surprised. Caleb stood and stepped out of the way. “Let’s see how that bump is doing.” He unwound the bandage so quickly, her head wobbled. Caleb looked on, arms crossed. He frowned when he saw it. A large, purple goose egg in the middle of her forehead. It was crusted with fresh blood and there were black, spidery flecks down the center. He leaned closer. Stitches.

“Seems to have gone down a little,” the doctor said, poking at it with his finger.

“That hurts,” Arianna growled.

“I would expect it does and will continue to for a few days,” he said. Arianna responded to his smirk with a glare. “Follow my finger, please.”

She followed it this way and that, out far, and so close she was cross-eyed.

“You know your name… what day it is?”

“Of course.”

He didn’t seem concerned enough to demand proof. “Well, good. Let’s have a look at the ribs.” Again, he poked and prodded the swollen, bruised tissue. “You are a lucky girl—”

“Please don’t start with the lucky speech again,” she snapped.

He drew himself tall, deeply offended.

“And how is the
ankle?
” he asked tersely. Whipping back the corner of the sheet, her ankle looked no better than her ribs. “I’m still amazed that you didn’t break anything.” He motioned for the nurse to re-wrap her head. “It seems you’re going to live. I’ll allow you to go home later this afternoon.”

She stared straight ahead as the cloth went round and round again.

When they were alone, she tried to remember just where they’d left off. Her thoughts weren’t as clear as she’d like.

“I’m trying to understand,” he said, sitting back down. “All the time you were gone, I’ve been trying. I know I was stubborn and didn’t listen when Mom got to be too much for you. I had faith that you could handle it. I had my father’s will, his last wishes, and I felt forced to obey him from the grave.”

“I know you did. I’m not asking you to find your fault in this.”

“But I do have fault in this. Running off… that’s you. But I only helped push you to it by not sending Mom away. I know that and don’t think it hasn’t bothered me.”

She rested her head back. The silence was less awkward now. They were both searching for the next step.

She could have apologized, but it seemed hollow to do so.

He could have told her he still loved her, but it seemed too soon.

She was acutely aware of his distance, almost down to the inch and wished he would move closer. There was a vast empty space between them and one had to find a way to reach out to the other and close the gap or it would remain there forever. He leaned over his knees, head hanging down.

“When I got that telegram, my heart stopped. I saw the words, ‘she hasn’t woken up’ and I couldn’t breathe. I’d been furious until that moment. I was so angry at you. For what you did, for having to send you away.” He shoved a hand through his hair and blew out his breath. “I thought sure you’d come back. Every night after the kids were in bed, I’d sit on the porch in the dark, expecting to see you walking toward the house. I hoped you would come back because I wanted so badly to yell at you. Yell and curse until you cried, and I had lost my voice. I needed to make you realize everything you’d thrown away. But when I found out you were hurt, thought you might not ever wake up, none of it mattered. Not what you’d done, not how angry I was. All I could think to do was get here, be by your side, and tell you everything was going to be okay. I prayed you’d wake up so I could tell you that. So I could forgive you and forget everything, like I always did before.” He stopped abruptly and cleared his throat.

“That’s not who you are anymore.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s not. I’m sorry.”

“I told you, I don’t expect you to forgive me.”

“What do you expect then?”

She swallowed hard and had no answer.

“I can’t be the husband I was and look past all this. I can’t have that kind of wife anymore, running around, risking your life. I need a real wife. My children need a mother. And you need to make a choice.”

Her eyes darted up. Was he giving her a chance? Forgive and forget aside, was he willing to at least take her home?

Her hands were shaking and her voice uneven, but she looked him in the eye as her own filled with tears. “The doctor said I was lucky. On and on he went until I wanted to punch him. If he was right, and I’m lucky enough to have a choice, I’d choose right this time. I’d choose to come home and swear to you I will never do this again.”

In a Hollywood picture, there would be a swift embrace, a deep kiss. But in this somber moment, he only looked at her for a long time and then nodded.

She took a ragged breath and more tears fell. She dared to ask, “So you’ll take me home?” 

“Yes, I’ll take you home.”

Though she tempered her sobs, each one made her ribs scream in pain.

He went to her, hesitant as if they were a brand new couple. He sat carefully on the edge of her bed and faced her. How they’d slowly step back from this and return to normal, he had no idea. It required blind faith to believe they even could.

She was blithering, sniffling, and gasping. “I want… I want…” She huffed, grabbed a handkerchief off the side table, and blew her nose hard.

“What do you want?” he asked.

She found his eyes kind enough to ask.

“I want to lie in the grass and look at the stars.”

The gleam of her wedding band caught his eye. He took her hand and squeezed.

Episode Nine

Lucky Enough

There was no grand welcome as Caleb pulled up the drive. Arianna glanced around, so happy to see the white clapboard house, the barn, and even that stupid horse standing in the pasture. Though her garden was neglected, overgrown with weeds, she noticed Claire and Ava’s weren’t. Their vegetables were growing in neat rows of rich soil, exploding in vibrant colors. She smiled as she saw Claire’s garden. The one she had so much trouble getting started seemed to have burst to life. She hoped she’d feel up to going outdoors soon and tending to her plot. It had been completely ignored while she was gone. But it, like so much else in her life, was her mess to clean up. And she had a lot of work to do. She felt like she should have written to them during the time she was away. She owed them a sincere apology. One where she took their hand and looked them in the eyes—which was why she could never manage to send a letter.

Caleb came around, opened her door, and helped her out. There was still an air of distance about him. In fact, he’d said very little on the drive from Boston. With an arm around her waist, he helped her up the stairs. She nearly cried putting any weight on her twisted ankle. For a brief second, she was frustrated with him. He could have carried her. As she took the last step, she reminded herself this pain was her own doing, and it wasn’t his job to keep her from feeling it. Not this time.

She hobbled inside, and Caleb went back for her bag. She could see Maura in the living room with her back turned, swaying, humming. As Arianna reached the doorway, Maura stopped and turned slowly. She was holding Felicity. The child was wearing only a diaper and her hair was still matted to her forehead, her cheeks flushed from the evening heat.

“Welcome home, Miss Arianna,” Maura said softly. Arianna was fully aware of her humility. She was no longer the svelte prowling cat, but looked and felt more like something the cat might have dragged in. Felicity’s head came up from Maura’s shoulder with her eyes pinned on her mother.

Arianna said nothing. She couldn’t or she’d start sobbing again. She held her hands out for her baby.

The pain in her ribs was terrible, but she held Felicity close anyway. Maura left the room and returned with Samuel and Savrene on each side of her.

“Mommy,” Samuel said, smiling. “Are home.” She hobbled quickly to the sofa and eased herself down just as they got to her. Felicity clung to her neck as the twins scrambled up to her sides, one under each arm.

“I missed you so much,” she said, smiling through her tears. They asked her questions in a toddler’s language that she understood perfectly, and Maura pulled Caleb into the kitchen to speak privately.

“I’m glad ye were able to bring her home,” she whispered, glancing back into the living room. “Young children need their mother.”

“I’m glad she was ready to come home,” Caleb said, undoing the first few of his shirt buttons. “My biggest worry, after her dying, was she’d still be unreachable.”

“She’s humbled, then? Ye feel like she’s sorry and changed fer certain this time?”

He watched Arianna for a moment, the children clinging to her, Saverne poking at her head bandage with a little frown. Samuel talked and talked, asking questions so quickly, she didn’t have time to answer. Felicity sat on her lap, her thumb in her mouth and the other hand held a tight fistful of Arianna’s blouse. She smiled at them, touched them, and held them close.

“I think she’s ready,” Caleb said.

***

It was very unnatural for Muzzy to wake up naturally. After a few groggy blinks, she sat straight up in her bed. The sun had been up for a while. She scrambled off her bed and grabbed her alarm clock with both hands.

“No!” she growled. She grabbed pants and a blouse, threw them on as she ran down the stairs. She was sticking her arm through the hole as she tore around the landing and came to a skidding stop when she saw Grace.

“Morning. Feeling refreshed?”

“No, I’m late! Why didn’t you wake me?”

“There was no need. Peter took the deliveries this morning.”

“He what?”

“He said you looked tired and thought you should rest. He told me he would make the deliveries before he went to the boat.”

Muzzy slumped against the wall, unaccustomed to running so much before coffee.

“He should have asked me,” she said, pushing her wild hair out of her face.

“You would have said no.”

“Not necessarily. But I would have given him a—”

“A list of addresses?” Grace asked. “I thought to do that. There’s coffee in the kitchen.” She turned back to her work.

Muzzy dropped into a chair with a steaming mug, sipping as quickly as she could manage without burning her tongue. Part of her was angry with Peter for doing this without a word to her. Without asking her. It was her paper, dammit, she should be consulted on—well, everything. If he thought a marriage certificate entitled him to step on her toes when it came to her paper, he had another thing coming.

As her coffee cooled down, her temper heated up, and she grew anxious about whether he got all the deliveries right. Some of her customers were picky. Before she could work herself up into a fury, she decided she’d meet him at the marina when he came in and give him a piece of her mind. And after she did, she doubted he’d ever take liberties with her or her business again.

***

When one’s relationship fell over a cliff, bounced off jagged rocks, got washed out to sea, nibbled on by sea life, and then regurgitated back on shore, the result wasn’t pretty to look at. What took only weeks to destroy would take months, if not years, to rebuild. As it was, Arianna still hadn’t looked at herself in the mirror. She’d reused the bandage for her head as many times as she could before it fell apart. She had to face herself today in order to arrange her bangs to cover the scar. The swelling had gone down. It was now only slightly red. Caleb offered, without looking at her, to remove the stitches when it was time. She agreed to let him. He’d touched her only twice in the last week, once on the arm as he was passing and a hand on her back when she got up too quickly and swooned. She made herself seem as open as possible. It appeared he needed more time.

She wore no makeup and didn’t plan to anytime soon. She still felt ugly inside and no amount of rouge or lipstick would change that.

“Talk about putting lipstick on a pig,” she whispered as she pulled bits of hair over her scar. Only for a brief moment had she looked into her own eyes before turning her head quickly.

Savrene called and Arianna went to her with a limp, her ankle still tender.

The excitement and newness of their mother being home was over. They resumed acting like normal children with squabbles, fits, and demands. Arianna found patience for it all.

After settling a fight between her twins, she struggled to her feet again, told them to be good, and swiped the wicker basket from under the table. She limped out into the bright sunlight and instead of cursing the heat, was grateful it was hot enough to dry the diapers so quickly, sun bleaching them bright.

Working between lines, she pulled the wooden pins quickly, slipping them into her pocket.

“Arianna?”

She ducked between two cloths and saw David. Initially happy, her smile quickly faded.

“I heard,” he said, holding his hat. “I came to pay my condolences.”

With a faltering smile, she moved to the other side of the line so she could see him while continuing to work.

There were several things she wanted to say, but every time she tried, her throat closed up and her eyes burned.

“I would have come to the service, but I had to work.”

She met his eyes, nodded with her lips clamped shut. Somehow, she had to let him know she wasn’t mad at him. She was sure that’s how it looked.

“It’s okay,” she managed to squeak out in a whisper.

“Is Caleb doing all right?”

It slammed into her then, the horrible guilt of what she’d done right when he needed her the most. Even now, he buried his grief out of sight.

Her hands flew to her face with a desperate yelp.

David ducked under the line and by her side, touched her shoulder. “Is there anything I can do?” he asked gently.

Without removing her hands, she shook her head.

“Why don’t we go sit down,” he said, taking her elbow, guiding her through the hanging wash.

Once on the porch swing, she decided to stop fighting it and when she did, tears rolled one after another.

“I was awful,” she said, glancing at David. “To him, to her. I left. He made me leave. I’m lucky to even be here right now.”

“I’m glad you’re home.”

“We aren’t really talking. We’re just living together, actually. He’s distant and has every reason to be. I want to be there for him now about Ethel. But he won’t let me anywhere near him.”

“It’s going to take time. Before Caleb can forgive you, you have to forgive yourself.”

She wiped her eyes and looked up her smile fake. “I don’t think I can do that.”

“You have to. If you want to move on, make amends, you don’t have a choice.”

She stood and went to the porch railing, looking toward the field where Caleb was. She thought of all the things he did for her, had ever done for her. Until now, he was never angry, never judging, for so many years she could do no wrong. He was only guilty of loving her too much. Regret was so thick she nearly choked on it, wishing she hadn’t taken advantage of his patience. Like with Ethel, wishing she could have just remembered that when she needed to most.

“She’s at peace. She isn’t angry with you,” David said softly.

Arianna blinked, turned her head, and stared.

“You remember my gift?”

Her head barely moved.

“She wants you to know she isn’t angry. She understands why you did what you did, said what you said.”

Arianna’s wide eyes filled with tears.

“She can’t say she would have acted any differently under the circumstances and doesn’t want you to hate yourself for your words to her. Let it go and move on with your life.”

A part of Arianna wanted to believe. She had believed in David’s gift in the past, enough to hold a memorial service for a couple she’d never even met. But now, she wanted to believe in it so desperately that she didn’t dare. “If that’s true… what did I say to her that haunts me?”

He went to her, put his hand on her arm. “That you didn’t want her here anymore.”

Arianna’s face shattered, she lowered her head and David put an arm around her. She folded into him and cried for several minutes as he told her everything.

Ethel didn’t hate her. Didn’t regret taking them in, was grateful for the grandchildren born under her roof and enjoyed every day she had with all of them. She knew she was leaving them and Caleb in good hands. And one more thing. The bread was about to burn.

Arianna hobbled inside and pulled it out, gasping the whole time.

David didn’t leave until she had pulled herself together until she accepted the entire message and managed a smile.

“A word of advice,” David said as he walked away, “she wants you to know Caleb is a tolerant man. But once in a while, he gets hurt and throws up a wall. If you wait for him, you’ll be waiting years. You have to be the one to break down that wall. And then you’ll be all right.”

Through fresh tears, she smiled. “Thank you, David.”

***

Muzzy was waiting when the boat pulled in. Peter threw up a hand. He jumped down to the pier and walked toward her, trying not to smile.

“Afternoon,” he said.

“Why did you take over deliveries this morning?” she asked.

“Because you work yourself to death. You needed some sleep.”

“Did you even think to ask me?”

“You would have said no.”

He could tell there was a fragile lid on her temper. He hoped it would blow. She was never so beautiful as when she was passionately ranting about something.

“Initially, yes. I appreciate the offer, but I would have rather trained you first.”

Peter’s shoulders pulled back. “Trained me? I’m a grown man. It’s a paper route, for God’s sake, not abdominal surgery.”

“That’s the problem. You don’t take this seriously!” she yelled, pointing. “It’s not just a paper route. It’s paying customers who are used to things being done a certain way. Until now, you’ve been a help, Peter. But from this point on, stay out of my paper’s business.” She turned on her heel and went to fire up her bike.

He walked up to her casual and relaxed.

“You don’t think I take this seriously? That I’m just off doing things willy-nilly and not thinking about your business? Try this on for size. Mr. Peterson wants his paper on the porch, just off to the left. Mrs. Elrod wants it in the mailbox. Mr. Cradall wants you to wedge it between the fence gatepost. Mrs. Griffen likes for you to stop and pet her dog for a moment, leaving the paper in a hanging pot so he doesn’t tear it up. Mr. White wants two papers, one unfolded because he’s neurotic and collects them. And Mr. Archer wants you to slip one onto the front seat of his car so he doesn’t forget to take it to work. Shall I go on?”