Purpose (9 page)

“I know you can hear me.” His eyes meet mine. There is no pain, too bad. “She was only nine. Even like this, you have more life than you left her. I’d take that, but she is satisfied. Now she can rest.”

Two cars, lights swirling, sirens blaring, race into the block. From a safe place, I watch. No one runs. For once, they are going to tell the police what happened. Their stories will match and will be damning.

Dozens more cops, detectives, police officials, and two ambulances. Intrigued, I wait.

The guilty don’t survive. Vengeance requires the guilty die. And yet….

She was only nine. Her killer lives. Vengeance is satisfied.

G
AR
opened the closet door and paused, noting a new addition. His orderly, uniform existence, where he always had the same number of coats in his closet, was shattered. From the bare bedroom, Ryan’s breathing came slow, steady. He was sleeping.

Tonight, Gar didn’t smell of gunpowder, reek of PCP, or come back with pockets full of drug money. No one died, though someone might wish they had. Routine said take a shower, meditate, and try to fall asleep. But tonight had been anything but routine.

Standing in the doorway, he watched his guest. Curled up on his side, holding the pillow, he looked younger than his years. How could someone so innocent think he could make it selling himself on the street? Worse, why would his family allow it to happen?

Anger welled inside him. Another emotion he’d done without for so long. Now it felt… felt what? Right? No, not that. Necessary. Gar withered under the emotional barrage and moved into the background. Will wondered if he could continue to switch his emotions off when he needed to be detached. If not, then what?

Will stepped out of his shoes, and Ryan didn’t stir. He was good at stealth. So good he didn’t need to try anymore. It came naturally. It didn’t matter if Ryan woke up. He wasn’t hiding, but it also made no sense to wake him. Ryan looked peaceful. At least one of them deserved that.

Slipping his shirt over his head, he kept to his schedule. Ryan’s breathing hadn’t changed, so he finished undressing, heading for the shower.

Two days ago, a shower was nothing more than water rolling over his body. Something he did to keep a link to his humanity. Last night changed that. Not only did he find himself thinking under the sprays, things… happened.

Streams of water pelted his hair as he stood inches from the showerhead. Ryan had showered before going to bed. The moisture in the bathroom spoke of that. But it didn’t surprise him when Ryan’s breathing changed and the bed creaked. Clearly more than one of them was partial to a “routine.”

“You can come in if you like.” Shuffling his feet, he faced the back of the shower.

The curtain parted. “How’d…? Never mind.”

Stepping in, Ryan was already excited. Will had promised if they waited one day, they’d do more than sleep. The day was up.

“Where did you go?” Ryan whispered, sounding like he didn’t care.

“Does it matter?” Will’s body expressed its opinion that Ryan’s visit was welcome.

Moving closer, Ryan never took his eyes from Will’s. “Not right now it doesn’t.”

Laying his hands on Will’s chest, Ryan stared at the connection. Did he expect something would happen? The slight pressure of fingers massaging his chest reminded Will that he could still feel.

Pressing their groins together, Ryan slipped his hands around Will’s chest, under his arms, and let them rest on his back. Their hearts beat almost in unison, both anxious and willing.

“I gave you a day.” The voice was small but firm. When Ryan looked up, his eyes locked onto Will’s. “You said you wouldn’t say no.”

“I won’t.” Devoid of passion, the voice was not cold either.

Ryan mashed their bodies tighter, bringing his head closer to Will’s. “I want to kiss you, Will. Is that allowed?”

Laughing at Ryan would not help, so he let his amusement come out as a smile. “It’s allowed.”

Thirty years of denial didn’t seem real when their lips met. His walls didn’t crash, nor did the flood of feelings from his old life overwhelm him. It felt like he had never changed.

The tongue that tentatively touched his lips was answered. The slow, hesitant movement quickly gave way to a more deliberate exploration. When they moved back, Will kissed him gently on the forehead.

“Let me wash up and we can go back to bed.”

Ryan shook his head. “No, let
me
clean you. Then we can go.” With a small, impish grin on his lips, Ryan peered up even as he fumbled to find the soap. He ran the white bar across Will’s chest, down to his stomach, and below. The careful touch on his genitals forced Will to close his eyes, enjoying the sensation.

Light pressure turned him around so Ryan could wash his back. Deft fingers glided over his tight muscles, across his butt, and between his legs. Pressing his hand between Will’s buttocks, Ryan teased him by running his hand over, but never trying to penetrate.

“Turn again for me?”

When they were facing each other, Ryan dropped to his knees and rubbed his soapy hands across Will’s legs. Ryan took a deep breath, put his lips around Will’s achingly hard cock, and swallowed most of it in one fluid movement.

A low moan escaped from deep inside him. Forty years were compressed into a moment. There was no sense of loss to salve over. Will only knew here and now. He let Ryan continue for a minute before he decided to move things to the bedroom.

Tugging softly, he moved Ryan back to his feet. Will’s smile was not matched by his partner’s.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Will shook his head and brushed his lips across Ryan’s. “No, but I’m clean, and the bedroom would be better.”

Ryan’s pulse still raced as they helped dry each other. Will stopped to brush his teeth, adhering somewhat to his nightly pattern. His eyes lingered a moment on the counter as he touched a second toothbrush, the one he had given Ryan the night before. Were they already settling in with each other?

Squeezing out some paste, he watched Ryan reach into the cabinet behind him. Mouthwash. For years, he wondered why he kept buying it. He didn’t date, and it certainly wasn’t because he had guests. Finally, he accepted it was a link, a small one, to his past.

Accepting the bottle, he heard Ryan working it around his mouth with gusto. Watching the naked boy, for he was still a boy in so many ways, with a mouthful of Scope almost caused Will to spit out the swig of green liquid he had just taken.

The absurdity of the moment didn’t tamp out his mood. After spitting out the liquid, Will nodded toward the bedroom.

“W
HO
doesn’t have condoms and lube?” Ryan ran his hands over Will’s sweat-slicked chest. Despite the lack of supplies, they had found other ways to enjoy their time.

“Who goes out and buys half the store and forgets to
buy
condoms and lube?” Stroking Ryan’s nearly dry hair, Will felt content. Sooner or later, he needed to understand what was happening, but tonight he was happy to let it linger another day or two.

“You’re right. Maybe I should have snooped a bit more.” The sarcasm in his voice was only half convincing. “Had you told me
before
you left this morning, I might have known to buy some.”

“Sorry you had such a horrible time. Would you like me to go sleep on the couch?” Will tried to sit up, but Ryan pressed a hand on his chest. It wouldn’t have stopped him, but he let it do as intended.

Humor. It’d been a while since he joked with anyone like this. Then again, considering he hadn’t been like this for so long, it wasn’t surprising.

“I never said I didn’t have fun.” Ryan’s voice was almost a purr. “Besides, it leaves me something to look forward to. Tomorrow, I’ll be sure to be prepared.”

Ryan’s hand slid down from Will’s chest to his abs. “Your body is incredible. You feel like stone. I mean, I know about hard muscles and all, but this is….”

Will didn’t respond. What answer could he give? Ryan pulled his hand away and twisted until his head rested on Will’s right shoulder. “Where did you go tonight?”

Why did he ask things he already knew? “I had business I needed to handle.”

“I thought you said
It
was dormant.” The soft, whispery voice hovered on the edge of sleep.

“Not dormant.” Searching inward, he felt
It
, resting yet aware. No doubt ready to alert him when the time came. “Calm is a better word. It’s still there.”

Ryan started to yawn but stifled it. “Does that mean you don’t have to do what
It
wants anymore?”

“No, I still do.” The soft breath on his skin and the warm body next to his left him drowsy. Sleepy? Him? Sure he slept, but only to keep a semblance of a normal life. Usually, he had to force himself. He never got tired.

“Why?” Propping himself on his elbow, Ryan stared down at him.

“How about we go to sleep and talk about this tomorrow?”

“Will, why can’t you tell me?” His body tightened next to Will’s.

“I can, but you were about to drift off. It can wait.” Maybe by morning he’d better understand what had happened himself.

“No.” Ryan brushed the back of his hand across Will’s face. “I’m awake. Tell me.”

Pulling him closer, Will breathed in. Even though they used the same soap and shampoo, Ryan’s scent was different. Not better or worse, just different. Smiling, he leaned over and kissed the top of his head.

“Okay, but remember, I don’t fully understand this myself. If I say I don’t know, I’m not being evasive. I really don’t know.”

Surprising him, Ryan leaned over and kissed Will before snuggling back onto his body.

“Are you sure you don’t want a pillow?” Will said, remembering what Ryan said a moment ago about his body feeling so hard.

“No.” He pulled himself tighter. “Surprisingly, you’re very comfortable to lie on. You don’t feel so hard when I’m like this.”

Unable to dispute that, Will ran his hand over the bare skin of Ryan’s back. “Okay.” He took a deep breath and let it out loudly. “Right now, the Purpose is still awake and alert. I can feel
It
just as I always have. What’s different is there is no urgency. Almost like
It
knows I’m going to do what I’m supposed to, so
It
doesn’t press me.”

Was it gaining sentience? Unlikely, but he couldn’t rule it out. “Remember what I told you about the souls of the innocent calling out to the Purpose? That hasn’t changed. When the little girl died, she called out for vengeance.”

“Little girl?” The words came out choked, the hurt evident in his voice. Did Ryan feel things through him, or was he just sensitive?

“She was nine years old. Some scumbag raped her, then killed her to hide what he did.”

The moan Ryan let out stopped Will. Should he check Ryan’s mind to be sure he wasn’t leaking emotions Ryan was picking up? No, probably just sensitive.

“When I felt the pull, I acted. That’s when I left earlier tonight. Somehow, and I can’t explain it yet, I knew that
if
I ignored the call,
It
would flare back to life.”

“That’s what you meant by the Purpose knows you’ll do what
It
wants, right?”

“Exactly.” Now came the harder part. Ryan couldn’t see the frown Will knew was on his face. “When I arrived….”

“Where did you go?” Why did Ryan ask? Given the neighborhoods he went to were rarely the tony sections of town, it would only upset him.

“Barry Farms.” He gave Ryan a moment to respond, but he remained quiet. “The moment I got there, I felt the presence of the innocent. Her call was strong, stronger than most. The locals didn’t want me there, but I didn’t care. One of them tried to run me over with a car….”

Ryan’s head jerked up. “Will!”

Stroking Ryan’s head, Will gently pressed it back. “Shh, it’s okay. Never came close to hitting me. Once I took out the driver, he crashed into two parked cars. People started to come out to investigate. The killer was one of them.

“I could have snapped his neck and been done with it. Vengeance would have been satisfied.” He’d done it that way hundreds of times. Lately, however, he’d been trying to have the deaths appear more random to avoid a pattern for the police to trace. “But I didn’t. Instead, I let him live.”

“You did?” The hint of hope in Ryan’s voice made Will smile.

“Yes, I did.” His smile faded. “I might not have done him any favors, however. Instead of killing him, I exposed his crime. I convinced the people he was the killer. Vile piece of filth stole the little girl’s gold necklace to pawn later. Someone found it in his pocket.”

Ryan snorted softly. “Found it? Just like that?”

“I helped.” Will tried to choose his words carefully, as Ryan showed signs this discussion unnerved him. Sanitizing the story was a must.

“Everyone quickly forgot the car crash. Instead, they grabbed the killer. The necklace was damning evidence, so they brought the grieving mother to identify her daughter’s property. Once she confirmed he had the stolen necklace, she and the others beat him up.”