Pushing the Boundaries (Picking up the Pieces #3) (31 page)

“You and me both, Liz.” My voice was cold…hollow. That’s how I felt inside. No pain, no anger, just…hollow. I watched as her eyes widened at the tone of my voice. She froze altogether, the fight draining from her eyes, but I just couldn’t bring myself to care. Lizzy’s lack of faith in me was the straw that finally broke the camel’s back. The straw that finally broke
me
.

“I’ll be out by tonight.”

“Trevor.” Her voice was a soft whisper, a plea, but it was too late.

“Just go, Lizzy.”

The color drained from her face as more tears broke free. “Trevor,” she repeated, and the sound of my name on her lips was like a gunshot.

“What? You’re finally getting that divorce you’ve been so desperate for. You should be thrilled,” I laughed sarcastically. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have shit to do. Long night ahead, what with moving and everything.”

I didn’t wait to see what she had to say. I turned on my heels and stormed into my office, slamming the door behind me so hard I was surprised it didn’t break off the frame. As I stood there, each inhale and exhale quick and ragged, I surveyed the small, windowless room that held my worth. This shop was the only thing I had to show my value.

With a painful roar, I swiped my arms across the desk, knocking everything to the floor. But that wasn’t enough. I picked up anything and everything in my path, throwing it against the wall until pieces shattered, hell-bent on destroying it all. By the time I was done, my muscles throbbed and there wasn’t a piece of furniture in the office still intact. I’d destroyed everything.

Just like she had destroyed me.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Shit.

I couldn’t stop remembering the look on his face when I told him I was done. The dead, emotionless eyes that stared back at me. I was so used to seeing them light up with humor or love whenever he looked at me, but when that light burned out and all that stared back was an empty void. I couldn’t shake the unease that blanketed me, the sense that I’d just seriously messed up. That this wasn’t something I could talk my way out of. There would be no using my redheaded temper as an excuse this time.

I’d been so hurt, so damn angry that I’d refused to let Trevor get a word in edgewise, and as I paced my living room, waiting for him to come home, I doubted my fury had been justified. I’d taken the word of a complete stranger—a woman who’d come off as cold and calculating the moment I met her—over that of the man I claimed to love. I knew Trevor’s past and how his father had made him feel unworthy. And what did I do? I acted just as bad as that selfish asshole. No, I’d been worse! Once again, when my faith in Trevor was put to the test, I’d failed.

Merle and Mr. Bojangles sat together and watched me wear a path in the carpet. It was as if they could sense that something wasn’t right.

The moment Trevor’s keys jingled, Merle’s ears perked up and he ran on his uncoordinated puppy feet toward the front door, plowing into Trevor’s legs as he pulled the door open. Trevor didn’t stop to look in my direction as he climbed the stairs toward the bedroom, and the sight of the cardboard boxes in his hands sent a bolt of panic straight through me.

By the time I unfroze myself from my spot and got to the bedroom, two boxes were filled with miscellaneous items and a duffle bag was thrown on top of the bed.

“Trevor,” I started, my voice breaking. “Can you stop and talk to me?”

He didn’t pause in his steps to and from the closet as he pulled clothes from hangers and shoved them into the bag.

“What’s there to talk about, Lizzy? You clearly said everything you needed to say back at the shop.”

“Trev—”

“There’s nothing left to say.” He continued back and forth from the closet to his bag.

“Just stop!” I demanded, grabbing the clothes from his arms and throwing them to the side. “Talk to me, damn it!”

The blank expression was still on his face as he studied me as if I were a stranger. “If I remember correctly, I
tried
to talk to you. But you just wouldn’t fucking listen to me, would you?”

“I’m listening now. Please, just tell me what’s going on. I had some woman come into my salon today and tell me all of these awful…” I had to swallow back the tears that formed in my throat. “What she was saying drove me out of my mind. You have to understand that. She kept going on and on about how y’all were engaged and how you were moving back home with her. I just thought—”

“That’s the thing, Liz,” he interrupted. “You
didn’t
think!” Finally, the emptiness in his eyes was gone, but it was replaced with something so much worse: anger, disappointment…heartbreak. “Once again, your trust in me was put to the test, and you chose to believe someone else. Not me. You wouldn’t even let me tell you the truth.”

He jerked one of the drawers open and started grabbing handfuls of socks and t-shirts.

“I’m listening now!” I pleaded desperately.

His laugh was downright sinister. “You want the truth?”

“Yes! Please.” Tears broke free at what I saw in his eyes. He was shattered. Where I felt broken by what Marissa had told me, he was so much worse off than I was.

“The truth is that Marissa
was
my fiancé. Years ago. We dated in high school and after graduation, she told me she was pregnant. I was stupid enough to think I loved her and that she loved me. I was so fucking excited that she was having my baby I didn’t even think twice when I proposed.”

My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach.

“All my life, my father had pressured me to do exactly what he wanted me to do. Graduate high school, go to college, then come work for him. I never wanted that. Marissa knew I had no intentions of ever going to work for my father, but she started pushing. Telling me I needed to do it so I could take care of her and the baby. So I did what I thought I needed to do to take care of my family.”

“You enlisted,” I whispered, knowing that had to be what he was talking about. Trevor was the kind of man who would do
anything
for those he loved. And if he thought joining the Marines was the best way to take care of his wife and child, he wouldn’t have thought twice about doing it.

“Yep.” He let out another laugh, but it held no humor; it was full of pain. “Marissa was
beyond
pissed when I told her, but like a goddamned idiot, I thought she’d come around. That she’d see that I was trying to do the best thing for us. Imagine my surprise when I went to see her right before leaving for basic and found my fiancé screwing my dear old dad.”

“Oh, God,” I gasped. How could she? How could
he
? His own father. I was disgusted and grief-stricken for Trevor.

“The cold-hearted bitch wasn’t even pregnant,” he hissed out between clenched teeth. “She and my dad had tried to play me from the beginning, suck me in so I was trapped, so that my life played out just like he’d always planned.”

“Trevor, I’m s-so sorry,” I cried. “I can’t imagine what that must have felt like.” He remained silent, just stood at the foot of the bed, staring at the ground. “Why is she here?” I finally found the courage to ask. “Why track me down just to spread awful lies?”

“My guess, she was pissed off when I told her I wouldn’t help her and my father.”

“Help them with what?”

“His company’s going under. Apparently, the two of them have been going at it like rabbits since I left.” I felt bile rising up in my throat. It was just so despicable. “Marissa came here to manipulate me into getting back together, and when that didn’t work she finally admitted that they wanted me to invest in his company, be a silent partner. They basically want my money so he can pull his ass out of the fire. When I told her no, she got pissed. I guess that’s when she went after you.”

“Oh, no,” I cried, dropping my face into my hands as a sob broke free. I was such an idiot.

It took several minutes to get my tears under control, and when I looked up, Trevor was zipping up the full duffle bag.

“W-where are you going?”

“I’m staying at Brett’s until I can find a place of my own.” His voice was still so hollow. I hated it.

I couldn’t let him walk away. I had to fix this. He slung the bag over his shoulder and headed for the bedroom door. In a fit of panic, I jumped from the bed and latched onto his arm. “Please, Trevor. Don’t leave,” I begged. “I’m so sorry I wouldn’t listen to you. I know I’m an idiot, but I’m so, so sorry. Please, just don’t go. We can work this out.”

My words broke as I cried. I batted the tears away so I could see his face clearly. Those beautiful blue eyes were red-rimmed and glistening. Seeing him so devastated was a direct punch to the gut. I felt like I didn’t have enough air in my lungs.

“I can’t, Lizzy.” Now it was his voice that cracked. “I love you,
cher
. But I can’t do this. All my life I’ve felt like I wasn’t good enough, that no matter what I did, I’d never amount to anything. With everyone else, it didn’t matter for shit. But when you stormed in and told me you wanted a divorce without even hearing me out…that killed me, baby.”

“I’m so sorry,” I bawled, clinging to his t-shirt like it was a lifeline.

“You don’t trust me,” he said softly. “When it came down to it, you didn’t believe in me or what we had together.”

“That’s not true!” I burrowed deeper into his chest, inhaling his scent.

“It is,” he replied adamantly. “I thought I could fight hard enough for both of us, that you’d eventually see I was made for you. But you’ll always think of me as that guy who fucks around and can’t commit. I’ll always be beneath you.”

“No. No! Trevor, please.”

I felt his lips on the top of my head as he whispered, “I’ll send someone else to get the boxes. I love you,
cher
. You have no idea how much.”

And with that, he pulled away and walked down the stairs. At the front door, he grabbed Merle’s leash from the hook and clipped it onto his collar. Then the both of them were gone.

I don’t know how long Mr. Bojangles and I stood there, staring at the door and waiting for them to return, but when my feet wouldn’t hold me up anymore, I finally relented and went back to my room, collapsing into bed and crying myself into a fitful sleep.

It was all my fault.