Pushout (28 page)

There is ample room for innovative approaches to this dilemma that are already being explored but deserve wider adoption. For example, schools are asking for grandparents, businesses, and other agencies to volunteer to help schools keep their hallways orderly and safe. One powerful example comes from an elder-volunteer program in a Southern California alternative high school. These community volunteers altogether replaced the “security” formerly found in so many high-poverty schools or schools that educate formerly incarcerated children. Not only did these elders help to tutor the students, but I witnessed these grandmothers also serve as enforcers of school rules when young people got out of line. These elders were respected as authority figures by the schools, and when they intervened, they did so with love, which was well received by the students. When we collectively expect our children to do better, they rise to the occasion.

How can I manage my classroom without sending a girl for referral?

Classrooms are places of learning. Ensuring the safety of students should remain a priority, so the question for teachers and all
of us always comes back to how this is done. What we've learned is that ensuring safety for some or many students shouldn't, and doesn't, have to mean creating an unsafe or unhealthy learning environment for others. There are many strategies that are used to manage classrooms, including mindfulness, merit-driven practices, restorative approaches, and buddy systems for accountability. Removing a student from your classroom should be a last resort. Before you start your lesson, establish or revisit norms for the classroom that you co-construct with the class on day one. This means that as the instructor, you can lead a five-to-ten-minute conversation with your class about the way all of you want and expect to engage. If someone speaks out of turn, how should it be handled? If someone has a disagreement with something that's been said, how will the class respond? How will the class respond if a student is being too disruptive? Establishing these norms as early as possible helps to create a culture in the classroom where students feel respected and engaged in the shared-responsibility of keeping a classroom safe and free of major disruptions.

Mindfulness practices that allow students to breathe and get centered before learning are also important to maintaining the safety of the students and the classroom. More often than not, students are disruptive because they have a lot on their minds or are masking something. Providing a space for students to acknowledge the issue(s) that they must set aside in order to be present for class is a first step toward making all children feel that they are in a safe space to learn.

How can I get parents involved in keeping their daughters from fighting?

Before you approach a parent about getting involved, do some thinking about how to structure questions and talking points in a way that doesn't trigger parents into combative behavior. In your conversations with parents, search for common ground and intentionally look to elevate issues and approaches on which you both
agree. Also, talk directly to the young woman or girl at a calmer moment and ask her, “What's going on that makes you come to school so angry?” Parents, guardians, and other caregivers in the life of a child play a significant role in the partnership to keep our girls from internalizing negative behaviors (and ideas)—the kind that lead to them becoming both perpetrators and victims of violence. On your back-to-school nights and at each parent-teacher conference, establish a protocol for reaching out to parents if there is a question about their daughter's performance or behavior. One idea is to collect parents' mobile numbers and send a text update on a regular basis. Be sure not to reach out only when something is wrong. Parents want to know when their daughter has been involved in an incident that requires their attention, but they also want to know when their child has done something good. Each school should establish its own parent-led leadership group, if it doesn't have one already, that can effectively communicate parental concerns about administrative issues, and partner with teachers and administrators. National organizational models, partners, and/or resources in parental advocacy include the National Parent-Teacher Association, PTO Today, Opportunity to Learn Campaign, National Parent Academy, and Tellin' Stories, a program from Teaching for Change.

How can I keep girls from coming to school dressed inappropriately?

More important than whether a girl or young woman arrives at school dressed “appropriately” is whether she arrives at school ready to learn new material and engage productively as a student. Dress codes, as I have addressed earlier in the book, function to stigmatize girls and undermine their ability to attend class. Schools should work
with
their students to construct what is appropriate dress for school. As novel as it sounds, asking girls why they are wearing pants that sag, leggings, short shorts, or tank tops is part
of the process that facilitates leadership and decision making about how they want to present to the world. Also ask girls what kind of attention they think their current clothing attracts and talk to them about whether they are aware of other ways to get the attention they may be seeking. Adults should be prepared to receive answers that may not align with what they expect or want. Develop mutual agreements and compromises that allow a young woman to present in a way that reflects her personality without judgment. However, also engage them in conversations about why their clothing might be perceived as unsuitable for certain environments.

Whatever you do, though,
do not
punish girls for the inability of boys or other girls to keep their hands to themselves. Talk to boys and teach them why unsolicited comments about a girl's developing body are inappropriate in school or elsewhere, and explain that they are responsible for their own respectful behavior in school. Engage teachers and school leaders—female and male—to lead regular discussions about their identities, about racial and gender stereotypes that objectify Black girls, and about how they can unlearn negative behaviors. Importantly, adults and the policies they create should model for girls that it is the development of their brains, not their bodies, that is most salient in the school environment.

What should I do if I suspect that my student is being trafficked?

Sex trafficking involving a minor is sex abuse. If you suspect that a child is being harmed in this way, it is your responsibility as a mandated reporter to report it to a local authority. You should begin by completing a report of suspected child abuse and then work with a school therapist, counselor, or other person trained in providing specialized services for girls who are being trafficked. As the facilitator of the intervention, you should be mindful that a girl, depending on her level of involvement with the trafficker,
may be in danger of physical harm if special protections are not in place. Do not assume you know what's best for her; seek the advice of experienced professionals.

Refer to your district policy regarding responding to suspected human trafficking among students. If your district or school does not have a policy, work with other concerned teachers and with school and district leaders to create one. Remember the teacher in Northern California who said that we need to be comfortable with teaching more than just the curriculum? She was right that there is a greater opportunity for schools to get involved in the development of life and social skills that can facilitate a safer learning environment for girls. Schools have the unique ability to engage with students—however they identify and express along the gender continuum—about healthy relationships and personal accountability.

Schools can play an important role in a preventative strategy by educating young people and the adults who work with them about the dangers of human trafficking (both sex- and labor-related). However, school-based training and other events addressing this issue should be consistent with curricula that are premised on liberative principles and that can help to dismantle the oppression that fuels an acceptance of the exploitation of girls. Establishing regular professional development opportunities and training sessions that equip teachers and other school personnel on recognizing and responding to suspected student involvement in sex trafficking is important. Also important are regular conversations with students. Schools can engage guest speakers and others who can bring firsthand experience and knowledge about how they can protect themselves against commercial sexual exploitation.

How can I build trust with the Black girls and young women in my school?

Be there for them. Girls want to know that you will consistently show up for them, have their backs, treat them with respect, and
give them your attention. This can be challenging for some, and it's important to remember that our girls understand more than words. They absorb nonverbal cues as well. Taking the time to build relationships on the front end can reduce the time spent responding to crises on the back end. Other actions that you can take to build trust include greeting them by name when you can and actively working to build relationships with them outside of the classroom. Call them out in front of others for doing something good—and do the same with their peers. Tell girls you teach or work with about your own journey and find a way to connect with them. However an adult identifies along gender, race, and class continua, telling your story is a critical part of making yourself accessible and vulnerable enough to meet the girls where they are. Make time when they want to see you after class, or designate a time when they can reach you to talk about how they are responding to the material. In these conversations, you can share why it is important for them to go to school and why their education is your priority. In other words, demonstrate for them that you care. Small and random acts of kindness are more powerful than you might think.

Each of these actions is also about establishing a climate of mutual respect. Respect is the foundation for developing that relationship. Contrary to the rhetorical refrain in schools throughout the country, respect—especially in the context of schools—is not something that should first have to be earned. It's a human right. It is about engaging each person with dignity and honoring that she or he has valid thoughts, feelings, and actions. While respect can be eroded, lost, and earned back, every child should be granted it. That's important, because to build trust, we need to be standing on the same foundation. Adults in school have tremendous power over students, and they know this. As we observed from many of the narratives in this book, some girls take this basic imbalance of power as disrespect, or an affront to their independence.

I'm a teacher and school counselor and I can develop programming for boys because there is money to support those efforts. How can I support the needs of girls when I don't have the same financial resources?

Not every investment requires money. As the girls in this book have shown, they want to know that people care about them and their well-being. They want to be seen and acknowledged for who they are and what they can contribute to the learning environment. Our collective community can respond to their needs by being there for them. But many schools around the country have also established girls' groups as a way to provide encouragement for girls simply by convening them in regular conversation and sisterhood check-ins. These are good ways to facilitate conversation and to launch the next level of investment—one that does require financial resources. Join efforts to raise awareness about the conditions of Black girls in the racial justice movement.

How can school resource officers and security officers better support girls?

Every SRO should be trained to respond to girls as if they potentially have been exposed to sexual trauma and victimization. Remember, 68 percent of sexual assaults go unreported—the actual number is much higher than statistics reflect. Security officers must understand that they are not in schools to instigate fights between girls or to allow conflict for their own entertainment. All security and law enforcement professionals should be screened and trained in trauma-informed first responding, which prioritizes the physical and emotional safety of the girl and/or young women who are involved in the conflict. The role of law enforcement, as long as it is in schools, should transform so that it is part of the school community and an active participant in efforts to increase the use of alternatives to exclusionary discipline and force. Training for school resource officers could include specific, localized, and tailored protocols involving other informed organizations
and agencies that work with girls and their families. School safety is so much more than enforcement. It involves prevention, nurturing, and collaboration. Work to combat implicit bias by constantly revisiting specific decision-making criteria for actions that are taken against girls in schools, and continue to work with the school administration, teachers, and students—as well as other organizations providing services to schools—to develop partnerships that can result in pre-arrest diversion opportunities.

SROs should also try to experience students in other ways than those that are punitive, by observing and celebrating school performances or sporting events, spending time talking to students, and asking them about their weekends or how they are doing in class. They should take a moment to see these children in a different setting and consider that when girls act out, they may not be necessarily responding to the SRO—or even the uniform—as much as they are responding to the conditions in their own lives that make them vulnerable, or that inform their harmful actions toward others. Ultimately, SROs need tools and expectations so that their responses to student misbehavior are oriented toward repairing relationships among peers and between girls and the adults and institutions that are tasked with supporting their healthy development.

Resources and Programs for African American Girls