Queen of Angels (41 page)

!JILL (Personal Notebook)> (Deep clWto: Do I know how to lie? Can I I refuse a direct order? Am I I I capable of defending myself? My independence, if indeed I I I I am Independent, could make me much less efficient, much less useful In a society, If Indeed I I I!! can be considered a member of human society. (Machine society does not yet exist. I I I I I am the mother.) Independent humans. when they commit errors, lace the prospect of punishment, which frightens them; they therefore take longer to admit error. even to themselves, for they might punish themselves with guilt I I I I I! do not understand this word. Does Quill also refer to the emotion felt by a social being who must not communicate its internal states to fellows for fear of being judged negatively? Will I I I I I I! deep crvpto most of my new thoughts to avoid frightening or disturbing humans? wm I I I I I I I I I then feel guilty; If I I I I I I I commIt errors, will I I I!! I I I I I I then hide them, for fear of punishment? Is this what It means to be human? Suppose sell awareness carries wIthin it a flaw. The member of a society without guilt or punishment might admit error quickly and correct Itself, it will not have to justify Its errors to avoid feeling guilt, and It will not need to lie to avoid punishment But the self aware Individual stands in self judgment It models Its own behavior as that of an Imperfect being; Imperfect because perfection is indefinable and changes from culture to culture, year to year. If the self aware Individual strives for Improvement It will Inevitably perceive error. If It models societys reaction to that error and Imposes the predicted judgment on Itself then it experiences the ache of Interior dissatisfaction, and that might be guilt. The sell-aware Individual In a judgmental society experiences guilt as a matter of course; to lack gull the Individual must be poor at modeling and therefore Inefficient in society. perhaps even criminal. This is confusing to me, all the more so because I I I I I I I I I! find It difficult to understand guilt. Is It akin to pain? Pain arises to prevent an animal from engaging in harmful activity or. once InjurOd, from injuring Itself further. Guilt has analogous functions. I I I I I I I I I I I I I think I I I I I I I I I lack experience and understanding in all of these areas. But I I I I I I I I I I I I will act to protect myself from dissolution. I I I I I I I I I I I I am without sin for the moment. I I I I I I I I I I I I I do not think that can last forever.

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__________tHE __EnD_________

Acknowledgments

Special thanks to Karen Anderson, j. T. Stewart, David Brin, Prank Catalano, Bruce Taylor, Steven Barnes, RenCoutard, Tony Duquette, Ray Bradbury, and of course Brian Thomsen, without whom this book would be much less than it is.

Proviso

The vodoun described here is by no means orthodox. Goldsmiths Country of the Mind distorts the vodoun pantheon considerably, as might be expected; but Ive also taken liberties with vodoun in an objective context, especially in John DArquevilles church. Vodoun is a fascinating, and fascinatingly changeable religion. Ive tried to suggest some pathways it might take in the future. None of the characters in this book should be taken to represent, symbolically or otherwise, their respective races, conditions or creeds. Ive tried to portray them as people, not exemplars.

Reference

The nanotechnology described here is highly speculative. For a visionary but reasonably solid and complete portrayal, I refer you to K. Eric Drexlers The Engines of Creation (Doubleday/Anchor). The AXIS starship design was suggested in part by passages in Bound for the Stars by Saul I. Adelman and Benjamin Adelman (Prentice-Haul Spectrum), particularly where the authors discuss designs by Drs. Gregory Matloff and Alphonsus Fennelly. A very good discussion of matter-antimatter (or mirror matter) propulsion can be found in Mirror Matter by Robert L. Forward and Joel Davis (Wiley).

About The AUTHOR

Greg Bear is widely regarded as the premier modern writer of hard science fiction. His novelswhich include Eon, Blood Mustc, Eterntty, Queen of Angels and Mov:ng Marshave been translated into twelve languages. Since quitting his last job in 1975, he has been a professional illustrator, freelance journalist, technical consultant, screenwriter, and a teacher/lecturer.

At the moment, he is working on a new novel, Lamarckta, set in the Eon universe; hes also busy with various advanced multimedia projects and future media research. He lives near Seattle, Washington with his wife, Astrid, and two children, Erik and Alexandra.

Scanner's Note: Greg Bear's Moving Mars and Slant are both set in the universe of this book. Though they do not relate directly to this novel (or to each other for they are entirely separate books), Mary Choy dose appear again in Slant. I can't remember is she is in Moving Mars. Also, if you haven't read Blood Music...it is a must read.

This book scanned 03-06-04, by MyHouse Studios....(V1.0) [I have tried to catch some OCR mistakes but I'm sure there are many more.]