Queen of Lost Stars (Dragonblade Series/House of St. Hever) (12 page)

“It helps me a great deal,” the physic exclaimed. “Maybe you won’t do anything like that again and wreak havoc all about Lavister.”

Madelayne’s jaw was tight. “I know what I did. I do not need your lectures.”

“’Tis not enough lecture you’ve had,” Dolwyd pointed a finger at her. “If Kaspian has any sense when he awakens, he’ll thrash you soundly.”

Madelayne visibly perked. “Then you reckon he’ll awaken soon?”

“I didn’t say that!” he barked. “I said you need thrashing!”

“You’ll not speak to her like that.”

It was a very faint, very muffled voice. It took both Madelayne and Dolwyd a moment to realize it was coming from Kaspian. With a gasp of delight, Madelayne bent over the supine form and pulled the pillow away from his face, giving him plenty of air to breath. He was horribly pale and licked his dry lips, but the blue eyes were open.

“Kaspian,” Dolwyd leapt up and hovered over him. “How do you feel, man?”

“As if I need to stay in bed for the rest of my life.” Kaspian blinked up at the physic. “But if I hear you speak to Madelayne like that again, the only person thrashed around here will be you. Is that clear?”

The old man merely grunted. “If you can get up and catch me, you are welcome to try. But I’d advise against if for now, so I suppose I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

Kaspian didn’t say anything as Dolwyd checked his wound again and tightened the bandages. “Well? Are my innards still intact?” he finally asked.

“Enough so,” the old man replied. “I do not think you did any real damage, but you tore some of my stitches.”

“Then I’ll recover?”

“More than likely. But you cannot take any more strain, Kaspian. You need to stay in bed and rest and eat. Only then will you fully recover.”

Kaspian’s eyes moved to Madelayne, her angelic face looming above him. “Do you hear that? No more running off with you. I’m too old and weak to be chasing around after you.”

She smiled at him, vastly relieved he was conscious and speaking. “Old? You cannot possibly be that old.”

Kaspian sighed faintly, closing his eyes. “Old enough,” he muttered. “Christ, I probably look every year of my thirty-seven years and then some.”

“Damn old for a fighting man,” Dolwyd concurred. “You should have retired years ago.”

Kaspian grunted. “I choose to ignore you. Be gone with you now. I feel as if I could sleep for a hundred years.”

Dolwyd lifted an eyelid, studying the eyeball, before standing back. “Aside from the fatigue, nothing is paining you?”

Kaspian inhaled deeply, feeling for any aches or pains he might have. “Not too terribly.”

“You are damn fortunate, Kaspian. Need I say more?”

“You do not. Get out of here.”

The old man grinned, heading for the door. Madelayne began untying her bodice. “You must be famished,” she said softly. “Here, take some sustenance before you sleep. I’ve been full to bursting for two days and it has been most painful. You would be doing me a favor, really.”

Kaspian put his hand up to stop her; the contrast in size of his hand against hers was striking. He looked at her a moment, studying her fine features. “In truth, I only wish to sleep. But I thank you for your concern.”

Madelayne gazed at his hand over her own, fighting off a tide of warm, giddy feelings. Two days of fighting off those same torn feelings had seen her leaning more and more towards Kaspian and the excitement of his touch. The truth was that Cairn had been more like a brother to her, a protector and provider, and she had been fond of him. Aye, she’d done some soul searching in the past two days since her return to Lavister and she knew, in her heart, that she had never loved Cairn. That was well known.

But what she hadn’t expected was her response to St. Hèver, the thrill of his touch and her lust for the man. She felt guilty for allowing her sense of excitement for him to overwhelm her mourning for Cairn. Was it wicked? Perhaps. But all she knew was what she felt every time Kaspian touched her. She couldn’t ignore it. For her own sake, she simply couldn’t.

“Then I shall leave you to your sleep,” she finally said, retying the bodice. “I… I am glad you will recover. I shan’t be far should you require me.”

Kaspian’s fingers curled around her hand, preventing her from leaving. “I would ask you to stay,” his voice was soft. “To call out to you would require too much effort. If you simply stay here, I won’t need to exert myself.”

She eyed him, feeling the warmth of his tone, reluctant to admit that she very much wanted to stay. Slowly, she captured the stool Dolwyd had been sitting upon. An awkward silence prevailed until she pierced it.

“I am sorry,” she said softly. “For leaving, for causing your strain… I am truly sorry.”

He stared at her for a moment. “’Tis I who should apologize, madam.” His voice was husky from fatigue and disuse. “I did not mean to upset you so with my careless words.”

Madelayne looked at her hands, fumbling in her lap. “It was a foolish reaction. I must harden myself to the facts of my desolate situation.”

He was watching her like a hawk, his blue eyes intensely penetrating. “I would ask a question, Madelayne.”

He used her Christian name, soft and sweet, and her head came up, her gaze locking with his. “What is that?”

“What were you going to do once you ran away?”

Her cheeks flushed. “The only thing a person in my circumstance can do. Go back to my father and, presumably, find another husband.”

“You would leave us, then?”

“Who is ‘us’?”

He seemed suddenly reluctant to answer. “Those… well, those of us at Lavister.”

She lifted her shoulders. “My husband is dead,” she said. “I have said this before – with Cairn gone, there is no reason for me to stay.”

Kaspian knew this but he didn’t want to agree with her. “But you are my chatelaine,” he insisted. “Did you not stop to think that I need you here, now, more than ever? With my injury and the chaos going on, you are more valuable to me than ever.”

She was dubious. “I am?”

“Of course. How could you believe otherwise?”

She shrugged lamely. “Because Mavia is here and….”

“Must we have this discussion again? You are a far better chatelaine than she is.”

He was flattering her but it was also the truth. She cast him a sidelong glance, reluctant to believe him even though she wanted to. “But I do not wish to be a burden.”

“Upon whom?”

“Well…
you,
my lord.”

“Kaspian,” he reminded her.

She shook her head quickly, forgetful. “Kaspian.”

He struggled not to smile. “Why do not you let me make that determination? You are worth your weight in gold at this moment and I’ve no intention of letting you slip away. Is that clear?”

Madelayne felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She opened her mouth to thank him, but instead, tears filled her eyes. Kaspian caught them immediately.

“What’s the matter?” he demanded. “What have I said now?”

She shook her head and wiped, embarrassed, at her eyes. “’Tis nothing. I… I’m simply overwhelmed with your graciousness.”

He watched her, feeling the pangs of uncertainty. He was trying to reassure her that she was not a burden, but instead, perhaps he had been selfishly demanding. He realized that for quite some time he did not want her to go, albeit because he felt responsible for her since Cairn’s death, or perhaps because he didn’t like the thought of not seeing her about the castle, he wasn’t sure. She was a fixture here, a radiant bit of light in the midst of smelly, fighting men, and he very much wanted her to stay.

“If you do not want to remain, I will not force you,” he said, though it was difficult for him to say. “But we need you, Madelayne.
I
need you. I hope you will consider staying with us.”

Madelayne was feeling terribly foolish for all of the misconceptions she’d had in recent days. She hadn’t given Kaspian enough credit for his compassion.
I need you
, he had said. She wondered if she was reading too much into his statement.

She hoped not.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.”

He turned his head, looking at her. Christ, she was an incredibly beautiful creature. “’Tis I who am thankful, madam,” he said softly. He suddenly realized that he very much missed her presence beside him. The need for her was suddenly an overwhelming urge. “Now, if your offer for sustenance still stands, I find that I could probably take a bit of nourishment.”

Madelayne smiled and rose from the stool, sliding down next to him in the bed. His hands were shaking as he helped her pull away the bodice, but not for the reasons of weakness and hunger that she thought.

It was anticipation.

*

Eight days later

“Nicholas de Dalyn
is on his way,” Thomas said. “He should be here by the end of the week.”

Over a week had passed since Kaspian’s second brush with mortality. True to Dolwyd’s prediction, his recovery had been much slower this time around. He could sit up in bed and take a bit of solid food, but he didn’t eat much. He slept mostly and was able to walk the chamber slowly. Dolwyd wouldn’t even let him take the stairs yet. Even now, he sat in bed, propped up with several pillows, listening to Thomas’ grim voice.

“You really cannot blame Edward,” he finally said. “He has a great deal at stake here at Lavister. To send de Dalyn to help oversee things until I fully recover is not the insult you seem to think it is.”

Thomas, Reece and Ewan were visibly displeased. They shifted uncomfortably on their feet or crossed their arms like stubborn children. Since receiving the missive from the king that morning, they’d done nothing but stomp about the castle in fits. Having caught wind of their behavior, Kaspian had called an impromptu meeting to quell the rising rebellion. When de Dalyn arrived, he had to be shown united support.

“Thomas is perfectly capable of leading Lavister’s troops,” Ewan said. “We do not need an outsider.”

Kaspian snorted softly. “I would hardly call Nicholas de Dalyn an outsider. He was present at the battle of Beeston and he knows the situation here at Lavister with my injury and Cairn’s death.” He shifted in the bed, trying to sit more upright. It bothered him that his men had to see him in his most desperate shape. “And I need not remind any of you that we have all fought alongside de Dalyn. We know his capabilities. If Edward was going to send someone to support our ranks while I am recuperating, he could have done far worse than Nicholas.”

Thomas laughed bitterly, softly. “That is true, Kaspian. There are any number of knights I would sooner slash as they come through the gates than allow them to lead Lavister’s men.”

“But not de Dalyn.”

Thomas shook his head reluctantly. “Nay, not de Dalyn,” he said. “He is arrogant and assertive, two qualities I am not particularly fond of, but unfortunately for you, he’s nearly as capable as you are.”

Kaspian cocked a blonde brow. “What does that mean?”

“That he could easily replace you here at Lavister. Edward could then recall you to him to fight wherever you are most needed.”

Kaspian put an arm behind his head. His arm was a massive thing with veins and muscles evident. “That is always a possibility, no matter what,” he said, thinking back to the battlefield conversation he’d had with de Dalyn at Beeston. “In fact, back at Beeston, he told me he wanted Lavister’s command. I thought he was jesting but mayhap he was serious.”

Reece and Ewan could sense that the senior knights were not all that incensed over de Dalyn’s assignment. In fact, they were rather casual about it. Ewan finally crossed his fuzzy, thick arms stubbornly.

“I fight with St. Hèver,” he said flatly. “If he leaves Lavister, I go with him.”

Thomas cocked an eyebrow at the young knight. “You’ll fight for whomever you are told to fight for, St. Hèver or de Dalyn. You are not of St. Hèver’s personal knight corps; you belong to the king. All of us do and we must do as we are told.”

The younger knights remained unconvinced but said nothing further. Kaspian looked at Thomas, noting the man was trying to pretend that he was disappointed at not being allowed to lead Lavister’s troops. Thomas was an excellent knight, almost as good as Cairn had been, but there had always been something with Thomas that suggested he’d rather have someone else take the command. Kaspian was well aware of that trait. In that sense, perhaps it was better that de Dalyn was coming.

With nothing more to be said, Kaspian dismissed his knights. They understood well what was to happen whether or not they approved. Just as Ewan opened the chamber door, Madelayne blew into the room in a cloud of blue brocade and rose scent. She was looking absolutely exquisite these days, healed from her bout with childbirth and mentally stable. The first few days of doubt and grieving after Cairn’s death were gone now; she was much stronger. She brought with her a tray with Kaspian’s nooning meal upon it and, immediately, Reece and Ewan stumbled over themselves to assist her.

“My lady,” Reece reached out and practically snatched the tray from her. “That is too heavy for your delicate hands. Allow me.”