Quinn (6 page)

“No, but it means I can argue and try to persuade.” She opened her eyes to look at him. “As friend to friend.”

But not as lover to lover.

Get used to it. Accept it. There was no telling how long it would be before she could even contemplate a relationship that held anything beyond the comfort of friendship. But he had made strides in understanding himself tonight. And he was beginning to know Eve as well. Eve, the person, not the object of this crazy fixation that had struck him the first time he had seen her. It was a relief that he actually liked Eve. He appreciated her courage, her discipline, her honesty, her lack of vanity.

What the hell would he have done if he’d found her a complete bitch? Would it have negated that instant powerful attraction? Or had he somehow sensed who and what she was, and that was the reason she had drawn him to her? Who knows? Love at first sight was all very well, but it was confusing as hell and out of his realm of comprehension.

“Love.” It was the first time that he had used that word even to himself. It was too sentimental and too much of a commitment. He didn’t know anything about it. But what other word could he use for an emotion that made him feel like a cross between a knight in shining armor and a kid with his first crush. Perhaps he’d get lucky and it would go away as fast as it had come.

“Friend to friend?” Eve repeated.

He smiled and nodded slowly. “As long as you realize that it’s always a friend’s privilege to say no.”

“Of course.” She closed her eyes again. “It would be unfair to think anything else.”

But it would be hard to say no to Eve. Even if he thought that to refuse her might be the best thing for her. “I’m glad that you have such a keen appreciation for justice.”

“I do. But I’ll still phone you tomorrow…”

*   *   *

“YOU’VE HAD THREE CALLS.”
Sergeant Castro looked up as Joe came into the squad room the next afternoon. “Two from Washington, one from Eve Duncan. They all want you to call them back.” He made a face as he handed Joe a slip with numbers on it. “I have other things to do than act as your secretary, Quinn. Where have you been?”

“I was at that park where Bonnie Duncan disappeared. Sorry.”

The calls from the Washington office were from Jenny Rudler and Rick Donald. He had no need to return them. It would be Jenny making contact and trying to inveigle her way into the investigation. Rick Donald would have been sly and a little gloating to discuss what he’d told Eve about Joe.

The call from Eve?

He knew what that was about, too.

And he’d been weighing his decision for the greater part of the day.

He stared at the message for a long moment.

Then he turned on his heel and strode out of the squad room.

CHAPTER

4

“CASTRO SAID YOU WANTED
to see me.” Slindak gazed curiously at the huge pile of reports on the table beside the copy machine. “What are you photocopying? I could have had someone do it for you.”

“I wanted to do it myself.” Joe turned to face him. “I’m glad you’re here. I wanted to talk to you.”

“Yeah?” Slindak had picked up one of the sheets. “Kenny Lemwick’s missing person’s report.”

Joe nodded. “And I have the other reports on the other children. I’m making copies of all of them.” He paused. “I’m going to give them to Eve Duncan to do a comparison check.”

Slindak stiffened. “What the hell?”

“You heard me. I’m going to have her assist in the investigation.”

“Are you crazy?”

It was no more than Joe expected. “She’s smart, dedicated. I believe she could give valuable input.”

“Her kid could be one of those victims. You’re asking for trouble. I don’t know how your superiors at the FBI feel about family involvement in an investigation, but I could get fired for it if I got caught doing anything that nutty.”

“They wouldn’t like it either. That’s why I’m being up-front with you.” He stared him in the eye. “If you want to report me to protect your ass, do it now.”

“I’d rather talk you out of it.” Slindak scowled. “But I’m not going to be able to do that, am I?”

“No way.”

“Dammit,
why
?”

“Eve Duncan has the best reason in the world to find the man who caused those kids to disappear. She’ll do a good job.”

“But that’s not the real reason, is it?” Slindak’s eyes were narrowed on Joe’s face. “You’re not the man I knew in the service. You’ve always been a loner. There’s no way you’d have taken on a partner, not even me. And breaking the rules and involving the mother of a victim? Not in a thousand years.”

“People change.”

“I can see how she’d arouse your sympathy, but there’s a reason for those rules against fraternizing with family members. There are not only the legal ramifications, but their emotional state leads them to act irrationally, and the department might—” He stopped and gave a low whistle. “But you’re not just sorry for her, are you? You’ve got a thing for her. You’re doing this to get her into bed.”

Joe wished it was that simple. “No.” He ran another report through the copier. “I’d be very stupid to think that she’d hop into bed with me because I’m letting her help with the investigation. You’ve met her. You know what kind of person she is.”

“I know she’s desperate. I think she’d do anything to find that kid.”

So did Joe. He was trying not to think about it. “I may be a son of a bitch, but I wouldn’t try to make that kind of deal with her.”

“But she’d be grateful,” Slindak said softly. “One thing could lead to another. You like women too much to go the platonic route. Are you fooling yourself, Joe?”

Maybe. He didn’t know where this path was taking him. He just knew that he had to follow it. “I’m going to work Eve Duncan and myself to the bone to solve those disappearances. I promise I’ll find who is responsible and hand him over to you.” He added curtly, “Now are you going to file a report on my making these copies? I’d like to know so that I can be prepared.”

Slindak hesitated. Then he slowly shook his head. “I may be sorry, but I’ll trust you not to make an ass of yourself and me. Keep her under control.” He turned on his heel. “Hell, keep yourself under control.”

Joe watched him walk out of the copy room.

Keep yourself under control.

He was trying. It was getting harder by the hour.

*   *   *

EVE THREW OPEN THE DOOR
to his ring. “You didn’t return my call. Why—”

“I was busy.” He pushed past her and strode into the kitchen. He opened his briefcase and pulled out the pile of files and loose papers and dumped them on the table. “The missing children. You wanted them. They’re yours.” He met her gaze. “And mine. We work on them together.”

She stood looking at him, then slowly moved across the room. “I wasn’t sure you’d do it.” She touched one of the files with a tentative finger. “You didn’t want to let me help. Why did you decide to do it?”

“Impulse?” He smiled recklessly. “How the hell do I know? Neither would anyone else at the precinct. My old buddy, Ralph Slindak, had an interesting thought. He said that he believed you were desperate enough to go to bed with anyone who’d give you a chance to find your daughter.”

She looked up at him. “He’s right,” she said quietly. “I wouldn’t think twice. Not with Bonnie in the balance. It wouldn’t matter at all.” She met his eyes. “Is that what you want? I wouldn’t think that I’d be your type, but all you have to do is ask.”

Oh, shit.

Not his type? If he was going to feel this overwhelming emotional response for her, why couldn’t it have been confined to compassion? But even while he felt that pity, he wanted to touch her, put his hands on her, take her to bed, and make her forget everything but him. He couldn’t separate the mental from the physical. And the physical was burning hot and trying to submerge everything else.

It didn’t help that now when he looked at her that he’d remember what she’d said, that he could have her if that was the price he demanded to help her. Another thought to block, another image to try to forget.

Look away from her. Don’t let her see what you’re thinking.

“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, but I’m afraid you’re right. You’re not my type. You look so fragile that I’d be afraid I’d break you.” He snapped his briefcase shut. “Besides, I can get a lay anytime.” He smiled at her. “I have a lot more trouble keeping friends.” He could see relief lessen the tension in her face. “So, if you don’t mind, we’ll skip the roll in the hay.”

“I just wanted to make my position clear. I know I’m asking you to do things that are a little outside the boundaries.”

“You’re being very clear.” Too damn clear.

“I just want you to know that I value you. I felt very much alone before you came. It’s better now.”

“Then suppose you give me a cup of coffee. Then we’ll get down to going over those reports.”

“I’ll give you the coffee.” She went to the cabinet and got down a tin of coffee. “But I’m going to ask another favor. Would you leave me and let me look through these reports by myself tonight?”

“Why?”

“Because I can concentrate better if—” She shook her head as she put on the coffee. “No, I won’t lie and protect myself. You were right when you said that I’d be upset when I read about these kids. I can be tough about some things, but not about children. After I get through the reports once, I think that I’ll be okay.” She smiled with an effort. “I guess I don’t want you to see how weak I can be.”

“Then by all means read them by yourself. I’m just a guy, and I have trouble coping with tears. I’ll come back in the morning, and we’ll talk.”

“That would be good.” She glanced at the files. “There seem to be quite a few. I didn’t realize that there were that many cases.” She frowned. “I thought I read … six? And that included the little boy they found in the grave by the freeway.”

“That was all the ATLPD and the media had on their list. But they were all local and within the last five years. They checked nearby cities and came up with nothing. But I found cases in more distant cities in Georgia and Tennessee that I thought were worth looking at. And I dug down another ten years. I ran across a story about the body of a child found in a swamp near the Florida border twelve years ago.”

“Fifteen years. You think he’s been killing that long?”

“Or longer. It might not be the same man, but it could be. Serial killers like what they do. They tend to make it a life’s vocation.” He took the coffee she handed him. “You’ll find enough there to keep you busy tonight. There are eight or nine that I thought close enough to run a comparison.”

“And only two bodies found?” She shivered. “Those poor parents. In agony all these years, not knowing…”

“After a certain amount of time passes, just the lack of knowledge is a sort of proof that the child is never coming home. That must be a kind of comfort.”

“The hell it is. There’s nothing worse than a child who’s lost or thrown away like some piece of garbage. A child has value, she should be cared for and brought in from every storm.” Her voice shook with passion. “Dead or alive, I’d have to bring my child home.”

“Then maybe we can help some of those parents in the reports.” He poured her a cup of coffee. “But you need to calm down and get a breath of air before you start. Walk me to the porch.”

She took the cup and followed him out onto the porch. “I get too … upset. I didn’t used to be like this. You’re being very patient with me.” She leaned against the porch rail and lifted her gaze to the night sky. “Everything reminds me of her. We’d sit here on the steps and look up at the stars and I’d tell her stories about all the constellations and we’d try to identify the Big Dipper and Orion and…” She took a sip of coffee. “Sorry. I’ll shut up.”

“Not for me. She’s part of you. And memories can save, not destroy, if you accept them.”

“Can they? I only know I wouldn’t give up a single memory of her no matter how much it hurt.” She added, “My mother doesn’t feel that way. She loves Bonnie, but she’s trying to block the thought of her. I guess everyone handles grief differently.”

“I haven’t seen your mother the last two times I’ve been here. Is she still staying in her room?”

Eve shook her head. “She’s been going to church. She was never religious, but a local pastor came to visit and invited her to come to services. I think the congregation has taken her on as a project. They keep her busy. That’s fine, Sandra needs people. It may keep her off the drugs. She quit when Bonnie was born, but this is a dangerous time for her.”

“What about you? She’s the only family you have. She should stay with you and give—”

“Stop being so protective.” She smiled and finished her coffee. “The last thing I need is Sandra hovering over me. We’re both surviving in the best way we can. She has her congregation, and I have Joe Quinn.” She took Joe’s empty cup and turned toward the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Joe. It’s time I got to work.”

“Good night. Lock your door.”

“Why? I’m not worried about being in any kind of danger.”

“I know. But I’m worried for you. It’s a violent world. Lock your door.”

“Whatever.”

He watched her as she entered the house and waited until he heard the click of the lock.

No, she wasn’t worried. She couldn’t care less about her own physical safety. It had no meaning for her in comparison to her loss of her child. He realized that he was the one who was going to have to care for her.

Another duty for him to assume in the emotional storm that had come to him.

Protecting Eve.

Watching over Eve.

Loving Eve.

That word was coming easier to him now. He was beginning to understand the elements that comprised it. Perhaps the fact that he had to block sexual desire made him more aware of what else he was feeling.

But it also made him aware that the storm of feeling was growing stronger. He was no longer rejecting it. He wanted to go back inside the house and stay with her, be with her …

Tomorrow.

He turned and went down the porch steps and strode toward his car.

*   *   *

“COME IN,” EVE CALLED,
when Joe rang the bell the next afternoon. She looked up impatiently from the papers she was working on as he opened the door. “For heaven’s sake, why are you still acting like a visitor? Just walk in.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Have you gone to bed yet?”

“For a couple hours. I had to get away from them.” She grimaced. “But they followed me. I decided I’d rather deal with them than dream about them. There’s coffee on the stove.”

“Have you had any?”

“Too much.” She nodded at the two piles of files that were in front of her. “I’ve divided the children into two categories. Male and female. Whoever took these children obviously preferred girls. There are nine cases here, and six of them were girls. But evidently he doesn’t entirely rule out little boys.” She leaned back in the straight chair. “I had questions. I wanted you here.”

“I wanted to be here.” He poured a glass of orange juice and brought it to her. “What questions?”

“You know about profiling and all that stuff. You were studying records of sexual molesters.” She moistened her lips. “Are these killings all about sex? Is that why he likes little girls? Does he rape them?”

“Probably.” He looked away as she flinched. “But it’s not about the sexual act as much as it is about power. Most serial killers are addicted to power. Sexual domination is a form of power. Perhaps little boys don’t give him the same rush as little girls.” He sat down across from her. Look at her. Ignore the fact that every word was hurting her. “Perhaps that’s why he butchered that little boy so terribly. He was angry with him for not being what he wanted him to be. But we can’t be sure because we’ve never found any of the little girls’ bodies.” He stared her in the eyes. “Any more questions?”