Rachel Carrington (19 page)

“You would not just be dependent upon him, Miss Morgan. With love, you both depend upon one another. He will need you as much as you need him. Ask him. He will tell you the truth. Now, I must go.”

“You won’t tell me the future? I thought that’s what you did.”

Letta laughed softly. “I know your frustration, but I am not allowed to make the choice for you. If you need me, you know where to find me.”

Carla watched her leave and she whipped around, directing her gaze toward the center of the room.

“You are still here, aren’t you, Sara? You have to know how difficult this is. What do I do?”

“How can you even consider leaving when you love my cousin?” Alexander’s voice demanded from the doorway.

Carla whirled around, her hand pressed to her heart. “Alexander! How long have you been outside the room? Did you hear…”

“I heard everything, but I already knew most of it. I knew when I first saw you that you were not from this world. There is something different about you.”

“There are things about this that you could not possibly understand.” Carla made her way back to the settee and scooped up the book of poetry. “It was not my decision to come here.”

Alexander strolled into the room, the picture of casual relaxation, but his eyes flashed with an excitement he hadn’t felt in years. “But you have to trust in the fates that brought you here. How can you not? Do you not think that they have your best interests at heart?”

“Who are they? I don’t even know if I believe in fate. I don’t know what I believe in.”

“Do you love my cousin like you say you do?”

Carla frowned. “I don’t know that I want to be having this discussion with you. It wasn’t too long ago that you were pawing me.”

His eyebrows lifted inquiringly. “Pawing? I am not familiar with that word.”

She sighed and plopped down on the settee, tucking the book beside her. “Never mind. Look, would you mind if I had some time alone? I have a lot of things to think about.”

Eagerly, Alexander hurried to her side, dropping to his knees in front of her. “Which is precisely why I wanted to talk to you. I know that you have not made your decision and while I believe you should stay if you love my cousin, I just have to ask… If you decide to leave, will you take me with you?”

Carla stared at him. “You are insane. You would have no idea of how to live in my world. You would be lost.”

“You had to learn how to live in my world.”

“But there is a vast difference. You do not have the technology that we have.” At his blank look, Carla tried to explain. “In my world, we do not use horses and carriages. We use vehicles, cars, structures made of steel that are powered by gasoline, a form of oil. It has an engine, a machine. It produces motion. We have electricity and running water and well, our way of life would be much more difficult for a person of your time period to grasp than it would be for someone of my world to grasp yours. Here, I only had to learn how to wear these dresses and what I could and couldn’t say at a meal. You would have to learn how to drive, how to cross a street without getting hit by a car and even how to turn the television on.”

Alexander bubbled with the anticipation of seeing the future and he nodded his head several times. “I did not understand half of what you just said, but it does not bother me! I still want to go. I am eager to learn, to see new things. I belong in another world, Miss Morgan. I am sure that my cousin has told you that I do not belong here. I was born too soon. I should be in your world, your century. I am begging you to take me with you if you decide to go.”

“And if I decide to remain here?”

He couldn’t hide his disappointment. “Then I will, of course, respect your decision. My cousin will be happy.”

Carla touched a hand to his. “I am still not so sure that you would do well in my world. You would have a lot of adjustments.”

“I will learn. You could teach me things before we go.” Eyes twinkling, Alexander bounced to his feet.

“You would not regret your decision, Miss Morgan. I would be an asset to your world.”

Sliding her knees to the side, Carla stood. Her hands fidgeted with the waistband of her gown and her eyes dropped to the toes of her boots barely visible beneath the heavy, emerald green fabric. “I don’t really think you know what you’re asking. How could you voluntarily leave your family?”

“Sinclair is my family and he would understand.”

“You would never see him again.”

“Just as you would never see him again.”

Carla lifted her skirts. “I must go. I have a lot of thinking to do and I need to do it alone.”

“I will tell Sinclair that you wish to be alone.”

“I don’t think he’s looking for me.”

Alexander snorted. “He is always looking for you.”

The words didn’t help Carla.

* * * * *

Sinclair sat staring at the fire. He didn’t need to be told that Carla had found her way home. He hadn’t seen her the entire day, but he knew she was still here. He still felt the emotions, the tension as it swept throughout Heath Castle. Only his cousin seemed impervious to the strain. He shot another glance toward Alexander’s relaxed form.

With wine goblet in hand, Alexander sat on the far corner of the settee, a small smile playing about his lips and a gleam in his eyes.

Irritation getting the best of him, Sinclair asked, “Why do you sit there in such a glib mood?”

Alexander released his daydream with an obvious show of reluctance. “For no reason, Cousin. I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“The future. Life. A lot of things.”

“You are not usually so deep in thought.” Sinclair grew more aggravated by the minute. Why hadn’t Carla come out of her room? He would rather she face him and tell him that she was going back instead of postponing the inevitable parting.

Alexander’s grin broadened. “Tonight, I have a lot to think about.” He crossed his ankle over his knee and slung one arm along the back of the settee. “I know about your Carla.”

Sinclair’s eyes narrowed, but otherwise, he showed no outward sign of tension. “And what is it that you think you know?”

“The pretense is unnecessary, Cousin. Miss Morgan and I have had a very long chat about her world.

Yes, I know that she is not from this time period.” He chuckled at the disbelieving expression on Sinclair’s face. “Did you really think that I would have trouble believing in time travel? Not I. I am the one who has championed the wild ideas of man. I believe anything is possible. The world is at our fingertips.” Taking a long draught of his wine, he viewed his cousin over the rim of his glass. “Are you going to let her leave?”

Sinclair directed his gaze back toward the simmering fire. “It is not my decision to make. I cannot keep her here against her will.”

Alexander’s grin dimmed. “But you love her.”

Sinclair didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he pondered the statement for several seconds, weighing his emotions, his desires. Then, with a tired shake of his head, he replied. “It does not matter how I feel about her. The choice to leave or stay is hers and hers alone.” He threaded his fingers then unclasped them, a nervous habit that told his cousin far more than Sinclair wanted him to know.

“I say if you love her, it does matter. How can you throw away what might be your only chance at happiness?” Disgust laced Alexander’s voice.

“The same way you can.”

Caught off-guard, Alexander’s mouth fell open. “I am sure that I do not know what you are talking about.”

Sinclair rolled to his feet and strolled toward the fire. Squatting down, he stoked the wood to create a brighter flame. “You think I do not know everything that goes on within the walls of my own home? You think I do not know about your desire to accompany Carla to her world when she returns?” At his cousin’s slightly pale face, he continued, “Yes, Alexander, I know. You no longer want to stay in this world and should Carla decide that she has had enough as well, you want to move beyond this time period on to bigger and better things.”

Alexander sighed and twirled the wine goblet between long, lean fingers. “You don’t have to stay behind, you know. You could always go yourself.” He directed his own gaze toward the fire, knowing the impact his words would have on his relative.

Sinclair spun around, a shocked expression on his face. “Pardon me?”

Alexander flicked a glance toward his cousin. “Should Carla decide to leave, you could leave here and go to live with her. And do not look at me like that. It is not so outlandish of an idea. If you love someone, you should be willing to give up everything for them. Do you love her?”

Sinclair evaded the question. “Heath Castle is my home. These are my lands. I have a duty to the people of this town. I cannot walk away simply because of the call of my heart.”

“Well, personally, I think you are a fool if you let her leave. A woman like that only comes around once in a lifetime, or in your case, once in a world.”

“Alexander.” The quiet voice from the doorway had two sets of eyes whipping around.

Sinclair pushed himself to his feet, walking toward her, hands outstretched. “I have been waiting for you.”

Carla didn’t take her eyes off his face. “Alexander, would you leave us alone, please?”

Alexander bounced to his feet and straightening clothing that didn’t need to be straightened, he headed for the door. “I most certainly will. Call me if you need me.” He touched her shoulder on the way out of the drawing room, bringing a frown to Sinclair’s face.

“He does not want that type of relationship with me, Sinclair. I saw today what he really wanted.” Carla answered the unspoken question in the Duke’s eyes.

“And you will take him when you go?”

“He told you then?”

“In a manner of speaking, yes.”

“If I go, it’s a possibility that he will be able to accompany me. I don’t even know if it would be allowed, though. He really does want to leave this world and you did say that he didn’t belong here. This could be his chance to be happy and who am I to stand in the way if the fates allow it?”

“Then you have not decided yet?”

Carla shook her head, chestnut waves spilling across her shoulders. Tipping her face upwards, she caught the glow of the light across Sinclair’s face and wondered if God had made a more beautiful man.

Even his arrogance and attitude had dimmed in the light of the decision she must make. Could she walk away and leave him, knowing she would never see him again…knowing she would never love another man as she had loved him? She had lived thirty-three years in her world and had never found a man who could stand as an equal to Sinclair, Duke of Heath. Here was a man who was powerful, wealthy and yet did not consider himself above the people who occupied his lands. Sinclair was a proud man with reasons to be proud, but he did not flaunt his importance. He wore his good name and breeding with an air of class and dignity, but never to ridicule or belittle those without the same.

Unable to stop herself, Carla lifted one hand and stroked his cheek. “The decision is not an easy one.

When I was trying to find my way home, I thought it would be. But now, I can only see what is standing in front of me and I am not so sure that I am willing to let it slip through my fingers.”

Sinclair caught her hand in his fingers and continued to hold them against his cheek. “You are the only one who can make the decision. I will not hold you here against your will and I will not stand in your way.” His eyes searched her face while the indecision and uncertainty warred within her. She struggled, fighting a battle where the only victory would cause more pain and desolation.

Carla never imagined she could fall in love with a man in the nineteenth century. His values, beliefs, way of life, everything was different from hers. How could she have accepted his differences and fallen in love with him? But then, how could she not? Sinclair was everything that she had ever imagined in a man—tall, strong, proud, handsome and giving. There were a few personality quirks that she didn’t care for, but there was never a perfect man made. Now the question remained, could she walk away from him?

Sinclair watched her tears and Carla wondered why he remained silent. Did he not want answers? Or perhaps he now found it easier to release her. Would he allow her to walk away from him? The questions tumbled around inside her brain and while she knew the decision had to be hers, she wished he could make it for her. “A few weeks ago, my decision would have been easy, Sinclair. I was fascinated by this home, these lands, but mostly, by you, but I still could have walked away. Now—” she tugged her hand out of his grasp, “—if I walk away, I do so knowing that I will never see you again. I don’t know if I’m that strong.” Boldly, she tipped her face to his and whispered, “I fell in love with you, but I still wonder if that is enough.”

Sinclair winced and Carla saw the stark pain on his face. “You and I are both a lot alike. We have never loved someone so deeply before.” He caught her hands down by her sides and held them aloft. “I think that I have always loved you. Perhaps that is why the fates brought you here. I am still not sure what good nature allowed you to come into my life, but I am still thankful. Even if this has only been for such a short period of time, I have loved and my heart is glad.” Bringing her hands to his lips, he kissed each knuckle individually. “Should you decide to leave, please remember that my love for you is eternal. It will transcend the boundaries of time and I will never forget you.”

The tears flowed faster now and Carla bowed her head, her shoulders hunching forward. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose you, but I will never see my sister again. She will never know if I am all right.”

Sinclair pulled her into his arms and closed the embrace. “You will make the right decision for you. I trust you.”

“That is the same thing the soothsayer said,” Carla murmured against the linen of his shirt. “Have you been talking to her?”

“Only to tell her that you were in the library, nothing more. You are shaking. Come. Sit by the fire. I will have Nettie bring you a glass of wine.” His arm dropped to her waist and he guided her toward the settee, but Carla didn’t sit.