Rachel Laine (The Women of Merryton Book 3) (7 page)

“My
mom says I shouldn’t tell anyone we’re friends yet, but I told her you would
think it’s all right.”

“Did
you listen to your mom?” I could hear the worry in his voice.

I
stopped what I was doing so I could hear clearly.

“Yes,”
Drew answered.

“Drew,
I know you may not understand this, and someday I will explain everything, but
it’s important for you and your mom that you don’t tell anyone right now. Can
you do that?”

“I
guess so.” Drew sounded really bummed.

“Drew,
I promise you someday that everyone will know we are the best of friends. Okay?”

“Would
you come to my school?”

“Every
day if you want me to.”

“Promise?”
Drew asked.

I
held my breath. I was afraid of him making promises to my son.
Our
son.

“Promise.”

I
let out a long, slow breath. I was hoping we would be telling Drew the truth
tonight. I hated keeping the truth from him and asking him to keep this all a secret;
it didn’t feel right to me anymore. I wondered what Andrew’s reasoning was for
waiting now, but I would have to ask him after Drew went to bed.

“It’s
time for dinner,” I yelled up after an hour or so.

They
were both happy as they approached the table. Their similarity in physical
appearance struck me again. There was no denying they were father and son, but
I thought, for the record, we should probably do one of those paternity tests. That
way there would never be any doubt. It was one more thing to talk to Andrew
about. It was strange for me to have to think about talking to another adult in
regards to Drew. Sure, I had sought advice from my parents, but ultimately each
decision about his life had been solely mine to make.

Dinner
was yummy, if I did say so myself, but do you know what was even better?

“Why
don’t you take it easy, Rachel, while Drew and I clean up?” Andrew offered when
I started to clear off the table.

I
stood there, motionless for a moment. So maybe having an extra adult around
wasn’t such a bad thing. Drew didn’t even complain. I tried not to be jealous
about that part. Surely, I thought, if Andrew stayed a part of our lives, and
Drew knew who he really was, he would eventually talk back and complain to him
once in a while. Right?

We
spent the rest of the evening playing Uno and Apples to Apples. Drew was happy
to have an extra person there so we could play the latter game. Then bedtime
rolled around.

“Mom,
can Andrew come and read with us, too?”

I
was afraid that would happen. It was like everything that was sacred and holy
to me was being stripped away, all within a matter of a few days. I didn’t
expect Andrew to so fully engage and entangle himself in our lives so fast.

I
looked over at Andrew. I could tell that, right now, nothing would make him
happier. I wondered if he was already falling in love with his son. Was that
possible? I knew it was love at first sight for me, but that somehow seemed
different. But maybe it wasn’t. I felt like I had no other choice but to let
him, even though I didn’t want to. That was
my
time with
my
son.
Did that make me selfish?

The
next thing I knew, Drew was in bed with me sitting on one side, and Andrew on
the other. I guess I should have been happy that I still got to be the one to read.
I was surprised Drew didn’t ask Andrew to do it. I kept having to tell myself
this was what many families looked like, and it was a good thing for Drew. A
boy needed a father, at least that was what they said. But I thought we’d fared
pretty well without one. Sure, Andrew brought a different perspective and a
male point of view, but where was he when I was up all night with a fussy or feverish
child? And where was he when Drew was learning to talk and walk, or when he
learned how to ride a bike, or when he cried when he was scared? That had all been
me. But then I had to remind myself that this wasn’t about me. This was more
than me.

When
I closed the book for the night, I leaned down and kissed Drew’s smooth
forehead. I lingered for a few seconds longer than normal. Sometimes I felt
such love for him, I thought my heart would burst. I pulled back and peered
into those beautiful amber eyes of his. I brushed my hand through his hair. “I
love you infinity,” I whispered.

“I
love you infinity plus one.”

We
both turned to Andrew. He smiled at us both, but he only had eyes for Drew. I
wanted to know what he was thinking, but I knew by the way he was looking at
Drew that he was forming an attachment that went beyond friendship. In the end,
though, he gave him knuckles and said goodnight. I could tell he wished he
could do more. And for a brief second, I almost felt sorry for him that he
couldn’t or wouldn’t.

I
shook my head and stood up. I had too many conflicting emotions swirling inside
of me.

Andrew
got up, too, and followed me as I turned off Drew’s light and walked back
downstairs. Andrew went toward the couch.

“Follow
me,” I whispered. I led him to my office, which was off of the great room. We
could talk there without being overheard. I opened the French doors. “Make
yourself comfortable.” I pointed at the two fabric chairs I kept in the room
and closed the doors behind us.

He
smiled as I sat down next to him. I wished he were a jerk. I didn’t want to
like him. It only added to the conflicting emotions.

“Andrew—”

“Rachel
Laine,” he interrupted, “do you mind if I speak first?”

I
sat back and shook my head no. I didn’t know exactly what to say anyway.

He
caught me off guard and reached for my hand. He held it between both of his. I
looked down at our hands together. I couldn’t remember the last time a man had
taken my hands in his, aside from my dad.

He
looked down at our hands, too, and grinned. “Don’t take this the wrong way.”

“I
wouldn’t dream of it.” Even though I’ll admit, it felt kind of nice. I missed
that kind of affection from the opposite sex.

“Please
know the respect I have for you and that I realize how hard this must be for
you. I can see how much Drew loves you. I’m not here to get in the way of that,
but I’m hoping you’ll continue to let me be part of his life.”

I
knew it was coming, but it still stopped me dead in my tracks. He wanted to
stay. I closed my eyes and breathed. “I don’t know if I can stop that now.”

“Rachel
Laine, I would never try to force my way into his life.”

I
opened my eyes. “What I meant is that it would be wrong for me to keep you away
now that I know. Even though every part of me wants to.”

He
rubbed my hand with the softest of touches. It sent a little jolt of
electricity through me.

“But
we need to tell him the truth,” I added.

His
shoulders dropped. “Believe me, I want to. I do.”

“Then
let’s go wake him up right now and tell him.” I stood up to do just that.

He
tugged on my hand to stop me. “Rachel, please. I need you to hear me out.”

I
looked at him like this better be the best speech he’d ever given.

His
closed-lipped smile said he was nervous. “Rachel, I’ve decided to run for
office. Depending on how it goes, I can either apply for the position and my
party will decide, or there could be a special election. It all hinges on whether
or not the current representative decides to resign gracefully or force a
recall.”

I
was confused why this made any difference at all. “And?”

“And
the press and my party would have a field day if all of a sudden I have a son.
And let’s be honest, the circumstances around his conception wouldn’t paint me
in the most flattering light.”

I
narrowed my eyes at him.

“And
rightly so,” he responded.

I
had to control the rage bubbling up inside of me. “So Drew’s just your dirty
little secret?”

“No,
no, no. I would never look at him like that.”

“That’s
what it sounds like to me.”

He
let go of my hand and ran his fingers through his hair and rubbed his neck. “Rachel,
I want nothing more than to tell the world that Drew is my son. I’m not doing
this to protect me; I’m doing this to safeguard Drew and you. If this comes out
now, you’ll be hounded. Politics is a dirty business and I don’t want to expose
you to that.”

“So
what happens if you win? Then what?”

“Then
we take a paternity test and I announce Drew is my son.”

“Oh,
so now you want to hold off on that so you have some plausible deniability? Do
you know how awful that sounds? Anyone who sees you and him together will have
no doubt.”

“Rachel,
don’t you think I know that?”

“Fine,
then I don’t want you to come and see him again until this is all over. To be
honest, I don’t even know why you kept that note in the first place or sought
us out.”

I
stood up and walked to the door. This conversation and his little experiment
were over. It reminded me again of why I never let a man into our lives.

“Rachel,
please.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me back toward him.

I
wasn’t expecting that, and in a graceful move, I tripped on my own feet and
fell into him.

He
caught me. “Sorry.” He didn’t let go as he looked down at me. His amber eyes
looked so sincere.

I
felt a tad warm and embarrassed. “I think you can let go of me now.”

He
didn’t comply with my request. He kept looking at me with those eyes of his.

“Andrew?”

“Yes?”

I
felt my body temperature rise and it wasn’t just out of anger. “I really think
you should let go of me.”

“That’s
probably a good idea,” He slowly let me go. “Please don’t leave. Please hear me
out.”

I
planted my feet and folded my arms.

He
half smiled. “Can we please sit down?”

“Fine.”
I sat back down, as did he.

This
time he didn’t hold my hand. “Rachel Laine,” he began, “I don’t know why I kept
that note, either. I had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind, but I never
listened to it because I didn’t want to believe it was true. I only thought of
all the ways it would harm me if it was true.”

I
scowled at him.

He
leaned forward and rested his arms on his knees. “I know how wrong that sounds,
and how wrong it is. I never even thought to look at how good it would be for
me.” He turned to meet my eyes. “And before you say anything, I know it’s not
all about me. This past week I’ve realized all the amazing things I’ve been
missing out on. I realize the huge error I made in not trying to be part of his
life from the very beginning. I don’t want to miss out on anything else.”

“Then
come clean about it and let the cards fall where they may, or don’t run for
office. Just don’t hurt my son …
our
son,” I amended, even though it
killed to say it.

He
smiled at the amendment, but went back to rubbing his neck. “Rachel, it’s not that
simple.”

“Why?
Politicians have affairs and children out of wedlock all the time.”

He
looked at me wryly. “While that may be true, my district is very family oriented
and—”

“Well,
nothing says family oriented like pretending you don’t have one.”

“Rachel,
I’m doing this to protect him and you. Do you really want to throw Drew in the
middle of a political campaign? It would be ugly, and your sister’s name would
get dragged through the mud.”

I
think my mouth fell open. “What does Sydney have to do with any of this?”

“You
don’t know politics. The opposing side will try and dig up any piece of dirt
they can if they know about Drew. They’ll talk to old teammates, and she didn’t
have the best reputation.”

I
put my face in my hands. I wished he would go away.

He
gently removed my hands from my face and held them. “I’m sorry to say things
like that. I’m not trying to badmouth your sister, but do you see why it’s better
for us to keep this quiet?”

“Please
don’t run.”

He
squeezed my hands. “Rachel Laine, I’ve been waiting for this seat to open up so
I could follow in my father’s footsteps. I know nothing would make him happier.”

“What
about a grandson?”

He
grinned. “He would have loved Drew. You don’t know how sorry I am that they
will never meet. But this doesn’t have to be an either-or.”

“What
are you going to tell Drew after this is all said and done? After you’ve kept
the truth from him?”

“I’m
going to tell him the truth—that I did it to protect him and you.”

I
shook my head at him in anger. “You don’t need to protect me. And if you really
cared about protecting Drew, you would go upstairs and tell your son who you
are.”