Authors: Barbara Peters
"But you never actually slept with one of them. And then suddenly one day I find you in bed with Jess. Surprise," I raised my voice a little and waved my hands and he jumped in shock, "you're not gay, but actually perfectly straight. Oh, and remember that one time when we all went shopping together and that brunette woman greeted you. You know, the one dressed like hooker. I heard her say she didn't have your money, yet. So, that means you either deal drugs or you are her pimp. Am I right?"
I looked at him with narrowed eyes until he nodded his head slightly. His eyes shot between mine and the knife in my hands, wary of what was still to come.
"Which is it then?" I asked.
He hesitated, but must have seen that I wouldn't relent. "Drugs," he whispered.
"I knew it," I said, triumphantly waving the knife in front of his face. He leaned back to avoid being cut.
"You don't really have what it takes to be a pimp, but almost everyone can be a drug dealer." I nodded to myself in confirmation.
"It's people like you that just make me sick to my stomach," I said with more menace now. The gentle tone had vanished.
"You need to be punished for all the bad deeds you did."
I studied him from head to toe, then looked at my knife and studied him again. This time my gaze lingered over his crotch. I turned toward the table and opened the sack, taking out one of the carrots. I studied it just as closely before glancing at his crotch again. Then I smiled. I could see the sweat beading on his forehead. He was now in full panic mode at what I was suggesting.
I continued to smile sweetly as I laid the carrot on the chopping board and with one swift motion hacked it in two. He actually squealed when the knife connected with a loud thud and again when I turned toward him with the knife raised and the smile still lingering on my face. He scrambled away as I glanced at his crotch once more. Shaking his head frantically and now trembling all over, he hurried off the couch and made a mad dash for the door.
Slowly I stood up and walked over. He saw me coming and tried to open the door to escape, but it wouldn't budge. That was the tricky thing with this door. The harder you tried the less likely it would open. You needed to take one calmly calculated move to make the hinges move and the door and doorjamb detach
themselves
. Desperately, he thumped his fists against the door. Sadly, I was only
halfway across the room, the pregnancy taking its toll on me, when the door was opened from outside.
Trevor threw the door open wide and ran out and down the stairs never looking back.
In the door stood Joey, ever the helpful one.
He had probably thought it was me trying so desperately to get away. Not that I blamed him. It was his job to protect me after all. He saw me standing there with the knife in hand, but just raised an eyebrow in question and smiled at me.
I liked him. He didn't ask questions about my strange behavior. He found it amusing and left the explaining part to me. Whether I wanted to talk or not was my own choice. Since there was no blood anywhere and there was only a chopped carrot lying on the coffee table there was no need to call the police either, which would have been his duty. He was contractually bound by the agency to report any case of domestic violence or bloodshed. It didn't matter who the culprit was as long as it involved the person he was responsible for. He would have to report that person, too, since he was only here to protect from bodily harm.
I went about cleaning up after myself.
And not a minute too soon.
When I was just closing the kitchen drawer after washing and putting the knife away Jess walked in the front door. She was genuinely surprised when she saw me standing there. She must not have met Trevor on her way up then. Good.
"Hey, Rachel," she said as she came over and hugged me. "I didn't know you were coming over today."
I smiled, a real one this time. "I wanted to surprise you." I paused.
"Surprise!"
I threw my arms out in an inviting gesture and she laughed.
"Thanks." She looked around. "Where's Trevor?"
"Oh, he…
uhm
."
I looked at Joey for support, but he just shrugged and said nothing. So, I turned back to Jess. "He…left.
You just missed him.
Yeah, he said he had something to do."
"Okay then. What do you want to do together?" she asked enthusiastically, just letting my Trevor
commen
t
go
so easily.
"You know, I'm actually pretty beat from walking up all those stairs." I consciously rubbed over my belly to emphasize my words. "I'm not used to it anymore. Would you mind staying in and watching a movie?"
She nodded in understanding. "Sure, that's fine with me. What do you want to watch?"
“Something that makes me
think
I can conquer the world and laugh.”
“Ah, our favorite kung fu movie, huh?” she laughed. “What’s the occasion? We usually only watch it when one of us is either depressed or really happy. What is it today?”
“I think a mixture of both.”
That was so true. I was extremely happy that the bastard, Trevor, would finally be gone from our lives and leave Jess alone. But I was als
o extremely depressed for Jess –
it was always the extremes
with me. She would need a lot of time to get over this. But I would be there for her for as long as she needed me to.
“Okay, then. Let’s make it all better with half naked, muscular bodies glistening with sweat while fighting the bad guys.”
She was really looking forward to this. Her enthusiasm was really
contagious and she soon had me swooning over all the half naked guys with her.
Seriously, if Ethan could see me right now.
I didn’t really know how to broach the subject of Trevor cheating on her…again, but I had to tell her somehow. I couldn’t rely on Trevor telling her himself. He would probably just move on as if nothing happened and Jess would be none the wiser.
When the credits of the movie started rolling down the screen I prepared myself for the coming conversation.
I cleared my throat to buy myself a little more time to think about how to start.
"Jess, there's something
a
I need to tell you," I began.
But before I could continue he beat me to it.
"It's Trevor again...isn't it?"
She wouldn't look at me and kep
t staring at the TV screen.
"Yeah," I agreed with a sigh.
She looked at me and gave me such a heart breaking smile that my eyes started tearing up.
"I kind of knew already." With a shaky laugh she continued
,
"I mean, why
would he
actually
come back after cheating on me?
He never really denied it, nor did he ever apologize, you know. Then he shows up the day after that incident and has that bimbo in tow. Who does he actually think he is? Hugh Hefner? Does he think I'm blind? I saw very well what he did with her at dinner that day." She gave me another smile that broke the dam and made my tears flow freely now, right alongside hers. "I just wanted someone to love me. Is that too much to ask?"
I leaned over and pulled her into my arms. That was the trigger that had her breaking down completely. She started sobbing into my shoulder
uncontrollably
.
"I know,
hun
, I know. I understand you completely. And I do love you. You know that."
In response she made acknowledging noise in the back of her throat, never pausing in her sob fest. I pressed her harder against my chest and joined her, sobbing for my friend's loss. We didn't pay attention to our surroundings at all, but I knew Joey was around somewhere watching us. He must be having some weird thoughts about us, I thought.
We sat there crying until we had no energy and tears left.
I sighed.
“You wanna come live with us again?” I asked Jess.
“I don’t want to bother you,” she answered uncertainly.
“Of course, you won’t. You’re my best friend. I want to have you around all the time.” I grinned and cuddled her to me.
“Then I don’t mind accepting your offer. Thank you.”
“
Oh, so formal.
Hehe
.
What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?” I smirked at her.
She stuck her tongue out in response. “I’m just grateful to my best friend, that’s all,” she said and made another grimace at me.
I laughed. It was good to get her spirits up again.
“Any time.
Now,
let’s get your things and go.”
I hugged her one last time before we got up and gathered her things. Joey helped us take everything down to the car. For me it was tough enough climbing all those stairs back down again, so I was double grateful that Jess had left most of her stuff at Ethan’s and I didn’t have to carry anything. It wasn’t easy being super pregnant, but I wouldn’t change it even if I could.
Maybe I should start thinking of Ethan’s house as ours now. I was still uncertain if this thing between us would last.
My hopes were up. That was for sure. Now, it just depended on whether they would get crushed or not.
I really hoped this would be the last time for a long while that one of us had to move. I was feeling like a stray dog by now. Moving from place to place so often really wasn’t normal. On top of that it not only took a toll on your body, but on you mental state, too. Just considering all the reasons why we moved around so much in the last few months an average person would possibly have fallen into despair by now.
But we weren’t alone. We had each other to lean on. Jess and I were like sisters, supporting each other, giving the other a shoulder to cry on or encouraging words when needed. This time would be no different. Even though, I was the very pregnant, hormonal mother-to-be I would be the one to be there for Jess and help her through this breakup. She needed me now.
On the car ride over to Ethan’s house…I mean our house, we were barely able to stay awake. We had used all our energy on crying for Jess’ ill fate. She fared a little bit better than me since she didn’t have the added exhaustion of pregnancy.
I was only half conscious by the time we arrived. Jess had to drag me out of the car seat and up the front steps into the house.
It was difficult to keep my eyes open. Then Ethan was there lifting me into his arms. I laid my head against his shoulder and was asleep almost instantly.
Like the last time I fell asleep in Ethan's arms I awoke again in our shared bed. But this time when I turned around he wasn't
there,
lying beside me and watching me sleep. I was all alone.
My stomach grumbled and I got up to get something to eat from the kitchen. I wondered where Ethan was. We needed to talk more. Lately we haven't talked much at all. I missed the time when we got to know each other the week after we got together again. It hadn't really been that long ago, just a few weeks actually. But still I felt bereft of the conversations we had.
It kind of made me feel like a kid again, who wants more attention. But I do think I had a right to it. I was pregnant with his twins after all. So, he should pay me at least a little more attention than this, right? If I said something like this, I’d probably just annoy him.
I needed to concentrate on the health of my babies more. All that stress wasn’t good for them, so I needed to calm down and stop worrying about all those little things. Ah, after getting a bite to eat I would go look for him and talk to him for a little while. I’m sure my worries would be gone then.
Ethan had undressed me to my underwear to make me more comfortable while sleeping, so I had to search for my clothes and put them on before going to the kitchen. I found them on a chair in the corner of the room and quickly got dressed to appease my complaining stomach a bit faster.
But when I was just about to open the door and head out I heard raised voices coming from the hallway outside. Slowly, careful not to make a sound, I opened the door a crack to see what was going on.
There in the middle of the hallway stood Jess, scantily dressed in nothing but her sexiest
lingerie. I knew because I had been the one to choose it for her. She was pressed up against…Ethan? What the hell was going on?
I saw her rubbing up against him and even sliding her hands all over him. He didn’t seem to mind at all. He just stood there and watched her going at it while she slid one hand down and grabbed his crotch.
I couldn’t look at this any longer. She was my best friend. How could she do something like this to me? Did she think she could share a little of her despair with me by making Ethan cheat on me like Trevor did on her? What kind of friend did such a thing?
Before I knew it I was lying on the floor in a fetal position. My eyes had started watering as soon as I saw the two of them together, but now they were like waterfalls. The tears just came streaming down while I lay there, silently sobbing. I didn’t want them to overhear me.
I stayed there for a while longer until I couldn’t take it anymore. My stomach was still growling with hunger, but I couldn’t stay with the cheating couple for one more second. If they were happy with each other they should just stay together forever. It had nothing to do with me, right? I mean, it wasn’t like Ethan was my boyfriend, right? Or like I was carrying his children, right?
Ethan never came to see me after that. No one came to check on the pregnant woman. Still hiccupping and sniffing
,
I hastily packed a bag of clothes. I made sure
the coast was clear before I tiptoed out of the house. I snatched my purse from the side table in the entrance hall along the way to the car. I got in and was on my way before anyone noticed.