Racing Destiny (Dirt Track Dogs Book 5) (4 page)

Chapter Five

Destiny closed her eyes, sinking beneath the surface of the water once more. The sun wasn’t quite gone yet, but this far into the forest, it might as well be night. She’d spent most of her free time at the creek ever since she’d promised to seek out Diz’s mate. The faster they learned who she was, the better.

Well, better was a relative term.

Things would be better in that she could quit wondering when the female was going to come and take him away.

Better like that. But seeing his mate wasn’t really going to fix anything for Destiny.

But… so what? There were worse things than being lonely. She could be completely on her own, without a pack at all. Or she could be like so many of her former clan. Dead.

Her memories were gruesome. The bear shifters of Colorado were highly feared. Especially among the small animal clans like the bobcats and foxes. The bears’ bully mentality caused a lot of problems for the more peaceable clans. If you had something they wanted, they took it without asking and with no repercussions. By blood.

She broke the surface for air, a snarl ripping from her throat.

This was useless. She’d seen nothing but nothing. The actual black water instead of the future. And no damn fortune cookie wisdom either.

But doing this was a heck of a lot better than facing Diz right now.

She’d spent the last two days locking up her feelings for him and reminding herself how ridiculous they were. To fall for your best friend was the oldest torture in the book. How could she have let herself do it?

She took a deep breath and focused again, forcing the thoughts to the back of her mind. Thinking only of the water and Diz’s future, she spread her fingers until her palms pressed against the choppy surface.

Focus, focus. Who is she?

A splash to her right broke her concentration, and she looked up just in time to see another tiny pebble land on her left.

“Hey, Dessy.” Diz grinned at her from one side of his mouth.

He stood on the boulder above her, shuffling a handful of pebbles at his hip. He wore those jeans that made her feel a little hotter in his pressence. The dark ones with holes in the thighs. A tight black t-shirt that hugged his muscled shoulders. And his work boots that made him look like a piece of hardworking man-candy.

“You broke my focus,” she complained, scowling.

He raised an eyebrow and tossed in another pebble, this one closer to hitting her.

She sighed, not wanting to play this time. “What do you want, Diz?”

He stared at her, eyes narrowed, but he didn’t answer.

She lowered herself under the water again just to avoid looking at him. When her oxygen had depleted, she came back up to find him exactly as she’d left him.

“Movie night. Your place,” he suggested.

No. Not that.

Not now. She’d have to sit there with him, smelling his spicy woodsy scent that reminded her of her mountain home, and remembering what it felt like to have her lips against his.

“Not tonight,” she murmured.

He froze like her answer surprised him. “No movie night? We can watch that funny one you’ve been wanting to see.”

She shook her head, running through excuses. “I have an early morning, and I’m tired. Still need to eat dinner, and… you know, this.” She gestured to the water.

He stared down at the rocks in his hands, a deep frown creasing his face. “This, huh. I guess your vision isn’t cooperating?”

She shrugged. “When does it ever?”

“Maybe you need a break. Relaxation. Like, say… popcorn, a movie, and cuddling.”

As frustrated as she was, how could she keep from smiling when the word ‘cuddling’ came out of his mouth? It sounded so normal. It was something they did weekly, their movie nights, and innocent cuddling was always part of that ritual. But now it wouldn’t be so innocent. Not on her end anyway. It didn’t seem right for her to pretend it was platonic.

She swam closer to the bank. “What I need is a good night’s sleep. Go home, Diz. Maybe I’ll have news for you in the morning.”

Give him hope, and he’d trot off happily to spend the night daydreaming about the future instead of making her drool after him. That was how she thought it’d go. But when she looked back at him, he seemed angry.

“News for me?” he spat. “You think that’s what I came here for? To see if you had a name yet?”

Well, not exactly. She figured he was curious, but she knew he’d come to check on her like he would any other day. Or just to say hi. Or for some company. But she’d hoped to make him leave. She just needed distance until she could see his mate. She knew it would help convince her heart to behave. Just until then, after that they could go on being friends like they’d always been. Or at least some version of what they’d been.

“Fuck this,” he muttered, throwing the pebbles to the ground with a clatter. “We’re not talking like this with you way the fuck down there.” Then he reached for the hem of his shirt, yanking it over his head before she could even gasp.

“What are you doing?”

“Going swimming. What’s it look like?” He fumbled with his belt before pushing his pants down. He had nothing on underneath.

Destiny turned her face away.

He jumped from the ledge into the water with a splash that sent waves lapping at her shoulders. Surfacing, he shook the water from his face and ran one hand through his short curly hair before his gaze zeroed in on her.

“What the hell is your problem?”

She shook her head. “No problem.”

“Bullshit. I haven’t seen you for two days, and now you want to skip movie night.”

She rolled her eyes to cover her nerves. “There’s no law that says we have to do movie night. Or see each other every day. Besides… we should get used to it, spending less time together.”

His jaw set in a tight angle as he stared at her so hard, she wanted to duck under the water again. He moved closer, gliding through the creek an inch at a time.

When he was close enough to peer into her eyes, he said, “I don’t want less time together. I’ll never want that.”

She gave him a small smile that she hoped came off as light instead of sad. “You will though. We both will. We’re going to find your mate, Diz, can you believe it? Things are going to be so much better for you.”  She punched his arm in a buddy-like gesture, hoping again to move them into less uncomfortable territory.

But he just scowled. “Why do you keep bringing that up? I told you I’m not here for that.”

She opened her mouth to try again, but nothing came out.

“Is this… is this because of what happened the other day? I told you, it was just my wolf. It didn’t mean anyth—”

“No.” She squeezed her eyes closed, not wanting to relive that humiliating and beautiful moment. Not wanting to hear those painful words again. “No, I know. It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

Opening her eyes, she braced herself for more frustration, but his gaze had softened.

“I fucked up when I kissed you and I’m sorry, okay. It won’t happen again. I can control my animal, and I will. I can’t stand the idea of you being this uncomfortable around me, Dessy. I don’t like it at all.”

Her heart throbbed in her chest. It wasn’t because of the damn kiss. It was because he’d kissed her while needing his mate. Because she was just a substitute. And because there were feelings he didn’t know about and that she could barely conceal anymore. Feelings that she just wanted to wish away.

Finding his mate had become extremely necessary if they were ever to remain friends. But how could she tell him that without revealing herself.

He reached forward, grabbing her hand. “We don’t do this,” he whispered. “We don’t avoid each other.”

She let him pull her close until he placed her hand on his bare chest, his long fingers filling the gaps between hers. His other hand landed gently on her hip under the water and she was painfully aware of their nakedness.

“You’re right,” she said quickly, struggling not to shudder at his soft touches.

God, he was so beautiful. His skin. His dark eyes. The way he looked at her like she was of such great value to him.

His brow eased a bit. “You’re shaking.” His voice hovered just below a murmur as his hand swept a path from her hip, up to her ribs. “Are you cold?”

Hot, cold. She wasn’t sure. Both? Neither?

Her head was spinning at his nearness. Desire burned in her belly, aching and pooling between her legs. She was grateful there was water to mask her arousal, otherwise he’d know. He would scent what she’d so carefully hidden until now.

She nodded. “The water’s losing its warmth I suppose.” Somehow she managed a rational sentence.

“Come here,” he said, wrapping his arms completely around her to infuse her with his warmth. They were still well under the water, but the creek did nothing to keep their naked bodies from rubbing against each other.

Destiny gripped his shoulder willing her body to stop reacting to his, but it was useless. She shivered violently in his embrace while she clung to him like he was her source of oxygen.

Slowly, he bent his head to the curve of her shoulder to add his breath to help warm her. Except instead of exhaling, he breathed in. A deep drag that filled his lungs until his chest expanded fully, pressing against her breasts and rubbing her tightened nipples.

Crap. No, no, no. This was bad.

For whatever reason, Diz was imprinting her scent. His wolf would smell her need regardless of the water surrounding them. There would be no hiding it.

She stiffened, pulling back, but his arms tightened, locking her in place. She stayed completely still as he drew in another careful breath. But even the way he scented her, with his lips so close to her neck turned her on. There was no stopping this train wreck.

Her breaths came in ragged pants, part devastation, part arousal, as she waited for him to finish.

“Destiny.” His tone was a low, warning rumble she’d never heard from him before. Gritty and acid washed. 

It drew a sob from her throat. Because that wasn’t the voice of Diz, her friend. It was something different, and it meant they could never go back. Like when Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge. You can’t unknow what you know.

He knew she desired him. It meant she’d lose him.

She pushed against his chest. She had to get out of there. “Let go.”

“Never. Not until you tell me why you smell like… like...” A sultry growl rumbled from his throat.

“I said,
let
go
.” She shoved hard, and broke free, heading to the bank as fast as she could through the chest-deep water.

“Destiny,” Diz called, but she was already climbing out. “Des—”

She stood on damp grass, ready to shift to her cat, but the sound of splashing stopped her.  Turning to look, she saw him moving to catch up to her. “
Don’t
. Stay there.”

He stopped, but found her eyes, locking on with his hot gaze. “You’re… I
smell
you.”

He cocked his head to one side, dancing his eyes over her body from head to toe making her shiver.

She had no excuse. No reason that could explain her arousal. Nothing to shield her most private feelings from him.

In a matter of days he’d gone from the person she could confide in, to someone she wanted to hide from. It wasn’t fair. She finally had someone who understood her, who she could laugh with, even cry with. But now…

All she could do was run.

She shifted with his eyes still on her, and ran through the forest toward home.

Chapter Six

Diz stared after Destiny in shock, unable to believe what his instincts were telling him. His breath heaved and his muscles were locked in place in the chilly water. She’d commanded him to stay, to not follow her, when all he wanted to do was pursue. Seek out that beautiful scent and have it all over him before the night was over.

His Dessy was fucking shaking with the force of her need. A need he could, and
wanted
, to fulfill.

He reached below the water to grip his cock, stroking his hand over it once and squeezing the tip. Their wet bodies sliding together hadn’t left him unaffected either, but he’d been careful to keep his erection from touching her under the water. And it wasn’t the first time he’d had to hide his attraction to her.

But he’d never… god,
fuck
… he’d never scented her arousal before. And at the moment, his wolf didn’t give a damn that she wasn’t his intended.

Goddamn it.

Minutes passed as he stared into the darkness, inhaling until he couldn’t smell her scent anymore. When he was sure she was gone, he climbed from the creek and dressed, still in a daze. He hissed as he pulled his pants over his still erect cock. The bastard wasn’t going away on its own, but Diz refused to jerk it. Not when he felt like melting from the inside out with this new revelation. Not when there were so many unanswered questions.

How long had she desired him? Was it just because they were touching and naked in the water? Or had she been hiding her attraction as long as he had? And if yes, then why?

For the same reasons probably.

But the kiss. She definitely hadn’t kissed him back. And everything between them had been shit ever since.

Fucking hell.

He paced the edge of the creek, wishing his gramps was still around. The old wolf was the smartest person he knew, and that still applied even though he was long gone. Over twenty years since the fire and this wasn’t the first time Diz needed his advice. Not even the tenth. Not even the millionth.

His gramps was old-fashioned. He followed the mate-above-all line of belief. If he were here right now, he’d probably slap Diz upside the head for even considering pursuing Destiny. But what if Drake was right? What if what they needed was something to busy them until fate stepped in?

Diz clenched and unclenched his fist, wishing he had a steering wheel to grip, a track to race.

He couldn’t get the image of Dessy out of his head. Her sleek curves slipping against his body. The way she shivered at his touch. Her tightly budded nipples as they grazed his chest. The way she tried to contain her desire to the point of shaking under the pressure. How she panicked when she realized he knew.

She’d downright panicked. With Diz. The one she was most comfortable with.

The idea made him angry. He didn’t want her ashamed of what she felt. Especially with him. If they couldn’t be open with each other then what the hell were the last three years about anyway.

You didn’t have the connection they shared without giving parts of yourself away, and he’d never regretted a single fraction of it. They’d exchanged dreams and wishes. Revealed secrets of their pasts. Cried. Laughed. And now they couldn’t tell each other their desires? It was ridiculous.

He nodded to himself, breathing heavily.

They were friends before they were anything else. That meant something. It meant everything. And he wasn’t going to hide his feelings any longer.

He wanted her. She needed him.

Fuck the consequences.

Diz spun on his heel, jogging through the woods until he found the path that led to Dessy’s cabin. Breathing deep he caught the remnants of her scent, but now the sweet arousal was tinged with something sour. Regret. Sadness. Or some combination of the two.

He’d never imprinted her scent before. Not even on the night he’d pulled her from the ravine. Didn’t feel like he had the right to, and never wanted to betray her privacy. He couldn’t say why he’d done it in the creek. He could blame it on his wolf, and maybe that would be true, but the reason why didn’t matter. Now that he’d done it, he’d be able to read her like a fucking book. He’d smell her fear, her joy… and fuck him, her desire.

Should’ve done it a long fucking time ago
.

Diz ignored the instinct battering him from the inside, mostly because it didn’t make sense. His wolf was fickle as all hell. One minute he wanted his mate, the next, Dessy.

Diz only wanted Dessy.

He skidded to a stop. Right there in that moment, he realized what the problem was. He’d bowed to his wolf all these years, letting the animal guide him, never once questioning it.

Wolf knew best. Instinct knew best. Diz knew shit.

But that wasn’t true. The wolf was confused as fuck, and if the incident in the river didn’t prove it then nothing could. Diz on the other hand, knew exactly what he wanted. A sweet little dark-haired bobcat who made his chest tight with just the mere thought of her presence.

He pushed forward, determined to see her, to convince her to give them a chance. But when he got to her cabin, she wasn’t alone.

Diz hung back behind the trees. Tana’s truck was parked in the drive, and though he couldn’t see them anywhere, the intense smell of Dessy’s distress told him, they were working through something.

“Damn it,” he muttered, hitting his head against the trunk of a tree in frustration.

He couldn’t barge in there right now. Not when everything was so fresh, and not with Tana to witness. He’d have to leave Dessy for the night. And maybe that was for the better. His plans hadn’t changed. He was still going to tell her exactly how much he wanted her. But maybe tomorrow, when she was less upset, she’d really be able to listen to what he had to say.

And then…
then
he’d show his sweet, sexy cat how much he’s been holding back.

***

Destiny paced her kitchen while Tana made them each a cup of coffee.

“So…” Tana said, carefully. “I just dropped by to see if you’d be free to watch Grace tomorrow evening, but obviously something’s wrong. Talk to me, Destiny. What happened?”

She’d been quiet since Tana arrived. She wasn’t trying to be difficult, she just didn’t know how to explain.

“Where’s Diz?” Tana asked, passing Destiny a mug. “Do you need me to call him for you?”

“No!” Destiny rushed out.

Tana frowned.

“I-I’m sure he’s busy.”

“Busy.” Tana raised one dark eyebrow skeptically.

Destiny sipped the coffee, stalling while she figured out a more believable excuse.

“He’s never too busy for you,” Tana added. “Why don’t you tell me what happened with you two instead of whatever bullshit you’re coming up with in your head.”

Destiny sighed, setting the mug on the counter with a shaking hand. “It’s embarrassing, that’s why.”

Tana laughed. “It can’t be that bad, hon. Did I ever tell you about that time a deputy caught me and Surge messing around in his truck?”

Destiny scrunched up her face. “God, no. And please don’t.”

“I’m just saying. It can’t be too bad. We’ve all been caught with our pants down one time or another. Either literally or figuratively.”

Destiny took a deep breath and blew it through her lips. Her eyes hurt from crying. Which pissed her off. She didn’t like when she couldn’t keep her tears under control. It made her feel weak when she knew she was anything but. She’d survived a freaking bear annihilation. She could handle a little heartache.

She cleared her throat. “I’ve… I’ve come to have feelings for Diz. Which is a problem, you know, because we aren’t intended mates.”

Tana stiffened.

“He wants to wait for his mate, and I respect that. It’s just starting to get… difficult.”

“Ah.” Tana nodded slowly. “Starting to interfere with your friendship.”

“Yes.”

“And that’s more important to you than being up front with him?”

Destiny frowned. “Our friendship is everything.”

“But what kind of friend keeps a secret like that?”

Destiny chewed her lip. “Well, it isn’t a secret anymore.”

Tana’s eyebrows hid beneath her curly hair. “He knows you’re into him?”

Destiny nodded.

“Oh damn, girl. What did he say?”

“Nothing. He scented me, and I ran away before we could talk about it.”

Tana squeezed her eyes together in unbelief. “You
ran
away
?” she squealed. “What kind of cat are you? Daaamn.”

Destiny rolled her eyes. “I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

“No. No, I do not. You run away from fire. A flood. A goddamn tornado. Your intended mate. You definitely run away from him. But your best friend? Fucking Diz?” Her voice rose at the end, like she couldn’t believe she had to explain this. “No. You don’t run from that. You need to go talk to him.”

“No. I’m not doing that.”

“He’ll come around looking for you, and then what?”

Destiny shook her head. “I don’t know. If I could just see his mate this would all end. He’d go after her and forget about what happened tonight.”

Tana was quiet until she finally said, “That wouldn’t be the end for you.”

Destiny sighed, scrubbing her hands down her face. “That doesn’t matter. It will be over because he’ll be with someone else.”

“Well, damn. I guess I kind of get it. If Surge and I hadn’t been on the same page, I might’ve run away too. Unrequited love is really a whole different game.”

Destiny closed her eyes to block out Tana’s look of pity. “Where would you have gone?”

“Back to my clan. Back to the Ouachitas.”

She looked at her friend. She’d heard all about the Ouachita cats. They were a clan of large cats—panthers, cougars, and jaguars—that had banded together peacefully. They ran a resort lodge deep in the mountains, and a construction business on the side.

DTD was her pack. She was meant to be here. Her vision at Sunday dinner confirmed it. But maybe there was a place for her with the cats. Even just temporary, where she could clear her mind. Leaving Cedar Valley and Diz and… Grace… would be one of the hardest things she’d ever done. But it didn’t have to be forever. Just until she was solid. Until her heart belonged to her again.

“What are you thinking?” Tana asked, warning in her tone.

“I was thinking maybe a little time away might be what I need.”

Tana’s eyes went wide. “Leaving? You want to leave DTD and your family?”

“No! I don’t. It’s just, it might be necessary. I don’t know, okay?”

Tana held her hands up. “Okay, okay. Let’s just… take a breather, yeah? Let’s channel Ella. Breathe with me. In… and out. In… and out.”

Destiny humored her, because yes, the events of this past week had her scrambling for options to make it all better. Even if none of them were ideal.

Ten seconds later, Tana let her stop.

“Look, we can talk to Magic if you want, and see if he has a place for you over there. Just promise me, swear to me, it would only be temporary.”

Did she really want to do this? Leave, for only a little while?

But it wasn’t a matter of want. It was a matter of what was best for the pack. Being at odds with Diz would throw them all out of balance. And she needed to get her head straight so she could fulfill her duties to DTD when the time came.

She nodded.

Tana sighed. “Okay then. I’ll call Owyn and have him talk to Magic.”

Yes, a temporary break was what she needed. Now if she could just figure out how to avoid Diz until it was time to leave.