Rag Doll (3 page)

“We’ll let the camera decide. It won’t lie to me.”

“Can we be done?”

“A little longer; I’d like to get more shots. One moment…” Graham pulled a wooden chair to the center of the room. “Trying sitting on this in different positions. Start by draping your arm like this, and then rest your chin on your shoulder.”

Kendle tried to follow his instructions, but felt amateur.

“That’s it, that’s the angle!” He shouted with glee, almost obnoxiously. “Right there!” The shutter whirred quickly as he took shot after shot. “Oh yes, the grittiness, a sexiness, a raw and vulnerable beauty. These are going to be our money shots.”

His excitement stirred something inside of her. It was passion. It was a brazen passion and love of what he was doing. She wondered what it felt like to be passionately happy. She’d only felt passionate disgust and hatred.

“And that’s a wrap.” He barely noticed she was naked. He was taken with his photography equipment again.

Kendle pulled her shirt back on and redressed.

“You have magic,” he sighed. “We’ll go all the way to the top.”

Kendle bit her lip.

“…and you have lovely pointy nipples. I wasn’t expecting them to be that way.”

It was a slap in the face hearing him talk about her body like that, sexually. He did notice them. How could he not. She was bare ass naked before him. Those pictures would hold her image for a lifetime.

“The pictures…” she started quietly.

“They’re for us, only for us. I have no intention of strutting you naked down a runway. You’ll still need to sign a release. I was so caught up in the moment…I should have done that first. It’s been a while,” he sighed. Pulling a paper from a drawer, he dropped it on a counter. “Sign the bottom. It’s a standard model release form. Don’t mind the details; it’s just legal jargon.”

Kendle forced herself to breathe again. As he reached to click off the music, the sound of silence filled the air. The quiet felt bigger than it had earlier.

“Are we done here?” She was afraid there would be more asked of her.

“We are. I’ll have my car take you home, unless you’d care to stay for some dinner.”

She didn’t know what to say.

“Why don’t you stay
? We can talk for a while about future possibilities. I’ll know more when I develop the film.”

“I don’t know…”

“I don’t bite. You’re going to have to learn to trust me.”

Kendle nodded. “Sure, fine.”

“Wonderful. I’ll call out and have something delivered.”

Cree crept into Kendle’s thoughts again. She needed to stop by and see her. She couldn’t talk to her on the street. Franco was still pissed even though months had passed. Who knows, maybe he wasn’t mad, but just liked to intimidate her regardless. He was an asshole.

Kendle climbed the embankment and tucked under the rafter. Her sister was fast asleep, curled into her dirty blanket. “Cree,” Kendle whispered, not sure she wanted to wake her.

She stirred. “Hmm, what?” Grogginess laced her voice.

“It’s me. I brought you a couple of muffins.”

Cree’s eyes flickered open. “Oh, good. I’m starving.”

“Aren’t you eating? Are you making enough?” The worry was apparent in Kendle’s voice.

“Franco raised the rent last night. He took the extra I was going to use to get dinner.”

Kendle’s worry turned to anger. “That bastard! As if he doesn’t take enough. It’s highway robbery, quite literally.”

“What can I do? It’s the best corner, and you know it. If I go somewhere else the cops hassle me and I don’t make nearly as much as I can there.”

“You know, this model thing might work out. And then I’ll make more money, and we can get an apartment together. I know my room at the motel isn’t much, but it’s something. You could stay there
.”

“This is my home,” Cree said simply.

“Don’t you want more?”

“I want to forget. That’s all I want to do, Kendle. This helps me forget. How do you not understand? You went through it, too.”

“So, you’re going to punish yourself for something that isn’t your fault?”

“How is it punishing me? It’s helping me. It’s the only way I can shut down the emotions.”

Kendle sighed. “Don’t you want to live again?”

“I’d rather be dead.”

“Don’t talk like that.”

Cree raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to lie?”

“I want you to save yourself. I’m trying, and you fight me every step of the way.”

“I’m fine.” Her voice softened. “I’m just not ready to give this up. Out here I have my freedom. I tell you that over and over again. He can’t find me here. I’m faceless, a no name. I don’t have any cares. I can sleep and not be afraid he’ll wake me up. This is my home.”

“Anyway…” Kendle tried to change the topic, but it took everything inside of her. “Graham says the pictures were amazing. He thinks there’s something there. I don’t know if it’s legit, but it’s the best shot I have at doing more.”

Cree couldn’t understand her sister giving up a good thing for the uncertainty this new career offered. “Stavros is good to you. Why don’t you stay there?”

“I will for now, but I can’t afford more than a crappy motel room with the money I make there. It’s not his fault; it’s just a tiny dive. I want more. I wish you did.”

“Maybe one day, and thanks for the muffins.”

“Sure thing. Come by my place later, get cleaned up. At least use my shower.” Kendle pleaded.

“The bathroom at the gas station is fine…”

“Cree,” she whined, “do it for me. Please.”

“Fine.”

Once again, Kendle changed the subject. “Have you heard from Crystal lately?”

“Not since she took the overdose. They said she’s okay, but she’s been lying low.”

There were only a handful of people Kendle would ask about, and Crystal was one of them. Another runaway that grew up on the streets. She was legally an adult, but had been working the streets long before she should have been.

“Okay. I’m going to head out. Stop by later before work.”

Cree nodded. “Just for a little while.” She didn’t want to get too comfortable being indoors. It took a lot of time to adjust to living outside. If she got soft and gave in like Kendle did, it would be difficult to readjust to concrete and grass, and a lack of climate control.

Life was so much easier when she was younger. A warm house, food, a comfortable bed…if only her father hadn’t…she shut her mind down. It didn’t do her any favors thinking about the past.
Hot water
. She missed how easy it was to come by hot water. At the gas station, they took the hot water faucet off, so you only had access to cold water. A hot shower would be nice, but she didn’t want to grow weak and start to miss the things she once knew.

It started one night. He swore it would only be once, but he kept coming back. Then he wanted to do more things. She was damaged goods. He made sure she knew that no man would want her now. She got the last laugh; plenty of men pay money to spend time with her. He was wrong.

Graham came by the truck stop. “Pack your things. We’re going to be busy this week. Clarisse says the shots I took are golden. It’s time to grow your star.”

“I can’t just leave. I have a job. Besides, Stavros needs me here. He helped me when I needed it, and I’m not going to bail on him without some kind of notice.”

“Let me handle this.”

“What?” She watched as he walked behind the counter and leaned into the open kitchen window.

“Stavros,” he called out. Turning to double check, he asked Kendle, “Stavros, right?”

She nodded, nervous.

Stavros’s voice boomed from the back, “What do you want, and why are you in my window?”

“I need Kendle for a bit. I can pay you for her time. Hire a temp to fill in, and she’ll be back in a week’s time.”

“What? You think you can just come in here with your fancy car and toss money at me?” Stavros didn’t like the man, didn’t trust him at all. And now this?

Graham was surprised at his attitude. “This could be her future. She could be a star.”

“I don’t like you. You should leave.”

“What will it take…two hundred dollars, three hundred?” He was peeling money off a stack of bills.

“Take your money and leave my waitress alone, or I shall grill the side of your face in my kitchen.” His thick accent made him sound almost charming.

“It’s okay, Stavros.” Kendle jumped into the conversation. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Do you want to go with this man?” Stavros asked her.

“I don’t know.”

Stavros turned back to Graham. “Is this true, or are you playing head games with her? Does she stand a chance from your picture taking?”

“A very good chance.”

“Then you give me seven hundred dollars. I’ll give half to Kendle, and then use half to hire a fill-in.”

“Seven?” Graham shook his head. “Five.”

Stavros
stood firm. “Seven, or get out.”

“Fine, seven.” He grumbled and pulled bills to hand to the owner.

“That’s a lot of money in your pocket, no? Give it to her. I don’t want to touch your dirty money.”

“It’s not dirty money.” Shaking his head, Graham couldn’t believe he was having this conversation. He thought Kendle would be ecstatic. Any girl would be for a chance at stardom, or so he thought. Who doesn’t want their face plastered everywhere so everyone can see that she’d made it to the top?

Kendle handed the money to Stavros.

“Here, you take four hundred back. If you need to get away from him, you’ll have enough. You call me if he gives you any trouble or gets too close.”

“It’s too much.” She gasped, holding the bills.

“You work hard. You deserve it. Now go be a star. I’ll see you next week.”

“Thank you,” she mouthed to the man in the kitchen window.

“You touch her, I grill your face. Just a friendly reminder…” Stavros laughed as he went back to his grill and slapped his metal spatula against it.

“That’s a scary guy,” Graham commented.

“He means well.”

“We should go. Pack your things. You’re going to stay with me for the week. I have a spare room you can use.”

Kendle couldn’t believe he expected her to just walk out during her shift. “I can’t go now. I have to finish my shift.”

Graham was shocked. “I just paid good money.”

“Tomorrow. I can come by tomorrow.”

“Fine, then first thing in the morning the car will be around to pick you up. What’s your address again?”

“Can’t they just pick me up here?”

Graham’s brow furrowed. “Why not at your home? It will be easier with your bags.”

“Bags?”

“Well, you’ll need to pack something.”

“Right.” She swallowed hard. “I don’t need a lot.”
I don’t have a lot
.

“Your address…”

She looked down, embarrassed. He didn’t know. She figured he’d learn it eventually. Her voice dropped lower, became softer, and in barely a whisper she said the words(.), “I stay at Elm View Trace.”

“I’m not familiar with it. Just give me an address and I’ll send my driver around. Is it an apartment complex in town, or outside?”

“It’s a motel,” she pushed out.

“A motel?”

She nodded. Her skin flushed a hot red. “Room eighteen.” Shame covered her face. She couldn’t afford more than a room.

Graham held his tongue, sensing her embarrassment. “No problem. I’ll have my driver there by eight tomorrow morning.”

Walking out of the truck stop, Graham realized there were things he didn’t know about this girl. He’d only see her face, her body, her potential as a superstar. Getting into the back of a town car, he told the driver where he wanted to go. “I want to see this motel where she lives. Elm View Trace. Do you know of it?”

“Umm, yeah. You sure you want to go over there? It’s not the best area of town. It’s a pay by the hour joint, if you know what I mean.”

“Just drive.”

Pulling up alongside the motel sign, Graham saw an L-shaped motel. The weathered white paint over cinderblocks was faded and dirty, almost a shade of grey, and the red paint on the shutters and doors was peeling. Was this what she went home to every night? This is what she called home?

Something twisted inside of Graham. She deserved better than this rat trap. If he didn’t make her famous, he’d at least write her a check that would afford her something more. He had more than enough. He’d never miss the money.

He wondered if pride would stand in her way. She didn’t seem overly proud. In fact, her actions made her appear more like a wounded bird with a broken wing. The way she looked down, the lack of eye contact, her shoulders low, the vulnerability in her eyes all spoke of some hidden shame.

Her eyes held magic. When he saw them in black and white, and again in color, there was something more in her eyes. They drew him in, pulling at him like a coiled winch yanking him closer. He got lost staring at the photos longer than he should have. There was no reason to get attached. They were lifestyles apart and not a good fit, but her soul spoke volumes in her pictures. How could he not be drawn to that?

Maybe he wanted to rescue her more than anything. No, that’s a lie. What he wanted more than anything was fame again. He’d use her for his own needs, and if he helped the girl along the way, good for him. They’d both win. The lure of A-list parties laced with the best drugs, the hottest women, the kinkiest shows, and knowing that you were one of the important people was bigger than anything else. Once he’d had a taste of it, all he wanted was to go back. That used to be his world. He was always on the list, and even
threw a couple of his own parties, but once you fall from grace it’s damn near impossible to be invited back.

As Kendle packed her small backpack, the only luggage she owned, she tossed a few items of clothing into it. The thrift shops had saved her. She couldn’t afford the luxury of shopping malls and clothes with new price tags. But in second hand shops, people threw away perfectly good items and she snapped them up with her meager salary. It was hardly a full wardrobe, but it was more than she needed.

Her dreams these days consisted of a washing machine that she didn’t have to pay for. She rarely spent the quarters on the cost of the dryer, and instead hung everything from the old curtain rod in the motel bathroom. It was a tight space and easily outdated, but it served its purpose.

She should let Cree know she’d be gone. It meant having to stop on the corner. Last time she saw her sister there, Franco walked by intimidating her. He didn’t like her around ever since she left. She didn’t want Cree to worry if she came looking for her, though. She’d have to stop by.

She couldn’t afford to waste the money on a cab, so she walked most places. One day she’d get a bike to keep in her room. She didn’t trust leaving it outside – it would be stolen.

As she finally approached the corner of Fifth and Main, she scanned the street. Franco wasn’t nearby, and as she moved in she found her sister flirting with somebody waiting at a traffic light. Their window was down, and she was trying to talk him into a quickie around the corner. A fast hand job through the window and they’d both he happy, she tried to convince him. The guy waved and headed off as the light turned green.

Kendle glanced over her shoulder. “Hey, Cree.”

“Franco doesn’t like you here.”

“Right, I’m heading out in a minute. Listen, the pictures, that guy… he’s taking me in for a week, and we’re doing more stuff. I didn’t want you to worry if I didn’t stop by. I left some stuff tucked up in your space; some food, water.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.”

“Thanks. Be careful, okay? Make sure you can trust him.” Cree glanced up. “Franco just spotted you.”

Kendle spun around and made eye contact with him. “Right. I should go. I don’t want trouble.”

“Leaving so soon?” His voice called out to her.

“I don’t want trouble. I just had to talk to my sister.”

Franco’s eyes narrowed. “She’s working.”

“I see that,” she said, trying not to show the wobble in her voice.

He moved in closer, too close, and lowered his voice. “You don’t pay rent anymore. You don’t belong on this part of the street.”

The black car slowed to a stop as the light turned red. Lost in thought, Graham turned to look out the window. Was that Kendle? What was she doing there with that guy, standing near the hookers?

Graham pushed the button to lower his window. His jaw tensed as the man on the street brought his hand to Kendle’s shoulder, squeezing.

Jumping from the car before he could think, Graham charged. “Take your hands off of her.”

Kendle turned to see Graham rushing at them.

“Step back.” Franco’s voice rose quickly.

“Fuck that,” Graham said and plowed into the man, taking him down
in a full tackle.

“Graham, no!” Kendle was horrified at what was happening.

Franco fell back onto the sidewalk, cussing and spitting blood. “You’ll pay for this.” He stood up and popped open a knife.

Terror gripped
Kendle. “Graham, run!”

Graham’s driver was already out of the car and holding a gun in direct line with Franco. “Drop the knife.”

“Fuck this shit. I don’t need this nonsense.” He dropped the knife. Before walking away, he turned to Kendle. “Your sister will be the one to suffer,” he said with an evil smile.

Panic flushed through Kendle. Pins and needles playing havoc on her head and neck, poking, lighting her up, tiny bits of electricity and fear hit hard.

Graham was breathing heavy. “What was that about? Why are you here?”

Kendle couldn’t speak.

“Get in the car,” he instructed.

“I can’t, not right now. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Get in the car,” he demanded. “I don’t know if that lunatic will be back.”

Kendle looked to Cree and lowered her head. This was her fault. Because of her, Cree would pay for her mistake of stopping by the corner. “Come with me.”

“Just go.” It was all she said.

Kendle’s insides screamed. She wanted Cree to come with them. How could she leave her here on the street knowing Franco would come back? There would be bruises, there would be higher rent, and it was all her fault. Kendle broke
, her insides shattering. She should have never come to the corner. He’d warned her before.

Graham stood, holding the door open. Cars honked and went around the black car that blocked a lane.

Kendle looked down, ashamed and embarrassed. What would she tell him? She quietly got in the car with Graham.

“What’s going on?” Graham asked.

“I can’t. Not now.” Her hands shook. Forcing them tight against her legs, she tried to stop the shivering that rocked her. Things got out of control quickly.

“He said something about your sister…”

Kendle turned away, looked out the window, and said nothing.

“Was that your sister?”

What would she say? Would he help her? Would he see her as trouble, knowing her sister was a prostitute? Would he want to know more about her past?

“I’ve got to go.” She opened the car door at the next red light and bolted into the crowded sidewalk before he could stop her. She needed to get away.

Graham watched her disappear and wondered what he’d gotten himself into. Was she some kind of street tramp? A face like that…a rising superstar, but what ugly tendrils of trouble would follow her? Maybe it was best to let her go. Closing his eyes, he drew his fingers to his temples. Why couldn’t this be easy? And why did he so desperately need the fame again when he still had half of his money? It was more than he needed. Maybe it wasn’t worth the hassle. He could learn to be happy without the accolades. Graham sighed. He knew he was lying to himself. It was the only thing that motivated him these days, climbing back on top. He’d laugh in the faces of those who threw him off the mountain when he spiraled out of control. He’d be the one they begged to make an appearance at their pitiful parties. He’d be on the A-list once again.