Raging Love (33 page)

With Savanna home safely, and suffering from major post traumatic stress, we didn’t talk much about it. She saw a doctor and through therapy and medication, she finally got better. What really healed my wife was Noah.
He made her forget the pain and look forward to our future.

My son held true to being Savanna’s biggest supporter. In the police station, he stayed by her s
ide, clinging
to her. On the way home, she sat in the back seat next to him, while he was still holding her hand.

Noah was a good boy. He never asked questions, but just stayed close to her for support. It was the same case once we got home and she started to
relax
. Instead of going upstairs to his playroom, he cuddled with his mother on the couch. After a couple of hours, he finally fell asleep still attached to her. I carried him upstairs to his bed, before coming down to sit with Savanna.

“You okay, Darlin’?”

She leaned her body into mine. “I’m sorry for losing it today. I saw them and everything that happened came flashing back into my mind. Our baby, the miscarriage, I just couldn’t handle it Colt. I know that neither of us will forget our baby, but that just brought back all of the bad shit too.”

“Darlin’, you don’t have to apologize to me. If I could trade
places
with you and take away that pain, I would in a heartbeat, you know that. I hate that you went through that.”

“I just panicked. One minute I was apologizing for bumping into her and the next second I am running for my life again. I can’t explain it any better than that.”

I kissed the top of her head and ran my fingers through her hair. “Try not to let it bother you. You positively identified the other two people involved. You gave them the vehicle. They have their names and will catch them Savanna. They both have records and they will be put away for a long time. They will be held responsible for what they did.”

She sobbed in my arms and finally
,
after some time
,
her sobbing subsided.
“There is something I have to tell you about that night, Colt. I can’t keep it from you any longer.”

My stomach immediately knotted up. I couldn’t imagine what she needed to tell me. My first thought was that he raped her. The saliva was building up in my mouth just thinking about someone doing that to my wife. A part of me didn’t want to know, but I knew I had to. “You can tell me anything, Darlin’.”

She shook her head. “Not this Colt. If I tell you this, then you probably won’t want me anymore.”

Is she nuts? I could never not want her.

“That’s not possible, Sugar.”

I brushed the tears away from her face and waited for her to start talking. She looked down at her wedding ring and began twisting it around. “When Tucker took me I was so afraid. All I could think about was getting home to you and keeping our baby safe. He had me tied up in that basement by plastic wire ties. At first he wasn’t physically violent. He was verbally threatening me, but he never inflicted
physical
violence on me, aside from
subduing
me.”

She leaned over and took a drink of her water. “He kept leaving me alone
in that basement. I could hear
him upstairs talking to the two other people. A couple times he came downstairs to check on me. Every single time he left me alone, I did everything I could to free my hands from those ties.”

“I saw your wrists Savanna. I know what you had to do to get free.” I ran my hand over her face, moving the hair out of her eyes.

She shook her head again and looked right at me. “He came down this one time saying he was going to make a phone call and that I had to tell you I was okay, so I guess he could get your mon
ey.
 
Tucker
didn’t
know that
I had freed my hand
s
. I wasn’t going to sit around waiting to be found. Nobody would have known where I was. So, I waited until the right moment.
He went upstairs and I tried to climb out of a window. He came flying down those steps and ripped me from the window, causing me to fall all the way down to the concrete floor.”

I was picturing it all playing out in my head and all I could see was how petrified she must have been. “You don’t have to tell me anymore, Darlin’.”

“No Colt, I do. You need to know this.” She wiped her tears and looked back at my face. “I tried to fight him, to protect myself and the baby, but he kept kicking me and hitting me. I felt that boot go into my stomach and my side. I felt what was happe
ning inside of my body, Colt.  Tucker killed our baby, but I couldn’t put all of the blame on him.”

I cut her off. “What are you talkin’ about? Of course you can blame that son of a bitch for it.”

She shook her head again. “No Colt. As he was beating me, he was telling me that hurting me was never the plan. He was beating me
because
I ruined his plan. It was my fault
he laid a hand
on me. It was my fault our baby died. I killed our baby. It was me. I did it, not Tucker. If I would have just sat there and waited, our baby would have lived. It was all my fault.”

I pulled her into my chest. “Jesus Savanna, you can’t
believe
that. You were trying to escape from being kidnapped. You didn’t kill our baby. Don’t you ever think that way. Darlin’ I would never blame you for what happened. You need to get that out of your pretty little head. Tucker Chase did all of this, not you.”

She cried so hard in my chest and I couldn’t blame her. She had been carrying around that guilt for over a year. It was time for her to understand she wasn’t to blame.

“How can you not be mad at me Colt? If I would have just listened to him, our baby would be alive today. It’s my fault for trying to get away.”

I cupped my hands over her face. “You listen to me right now and you listen good. You are not to blame for what happened to the baby. You acted on instinct to try and survive. You were trying to save our baby and yourself. What happened was a horrible accident, but you are not to blame for it. Don’t you ever say that again Savanna. Please don’t ever even think that.”  I pulled her back into my chest. “I thought I was never going to see you again, Darlin’. I was so scared over it. Losing our child was awful, but losing you would have ended me. I don’t want to ever be without you. I will miss our first baby
forever
, but I will never ever blame you for what happened. You never should
have been in that basement in the first place. If it’s
anyone’s
fault, it’s Miranda’s for bringin’ that piece of shit into our lives.”

Savanna pulled away from me and shook her head. “No, I will never blame her. People make their own choices in life. Miranda was never anything like Tucker. She had no idea he was capable of being the person he became when they first met. I will never blame her. I love her too much to put the blame on her.”

“Then stop blamin’ yourself. It ain’t nobody but Tucker’s fault.”

She agreed by smiling. “Okay, I will try.”

For the rest of the evening we all three lounged around the house. Noah woke up from his nap and claimed he was dying of starvation, so Savanna made us all grilled cheese sandwiches.  She cut Noah’s in the shape of a heart, which he got a big kick out of. He still ate the cutoff pieces, claiming the crusts were the best part.

We sat around the
kitchen table laughing and carrying on and I felt like
somehow something had changed. Savanna seemed at peace.

Chapter 26

Savanna

The next three months went by so quickly. The bigger I got, the more Noah and Colt did for me. I wasn’t helpless, in fact I spent most of my days trying to reorganize the entire house and Colt’s garage. He was fine about the house, but when he came home to me standing in the garage in one of his winter coats, putting screws into jars, he lost his temper with me.

It was funny, he never raised his voice. He got this mad look on his face, that was more sexy than scary and he pointed to the door to the house. I took a second to finish up what I was doing before stomping back into the warm house.

The winter was rough and we were being pounded by
another snow storm. It didn’t help that I was in full nesting mode and bored out of my mind. Every drawer, cabinet, and closet in our house had been completely organized. I even went on a binge and made photo collages for the whole family. I was out of my mind. Our little baby had begun moving around so much at night that I wasn’t getting any sleep. I had two weeks to go until my official due date and I was going totally insane.

Sunday morning came and I knew we were at least going to trudge through the snow to get to Colt’s
mother
’s
for Sunday funday. Noah had been going in and out of the house constantly. Colt was trying to clear me a good path to walk to the truck, I felt bad he had to go through such hard work just for me to have dinner at his mother’s house. Noah had already built three snowmen and I was running out of household items to use for the faces. We were out of grapes, carrots and buttons, as well as toothbrushes. He used the toothbrushes instead of pipes because he learned smoking was bad for your health.

By noon, I had dried his snowsuit three separate times, washed the foyer floor around ten times and done three loads of laundry. When Colt said it was time to head over, I was beat. I threw on a pair of his sweatpants from college, that were old as shit and came walking downstairs. I looked like the
abominable
snowman.

“Darlin’ is that what you’re wearin’?” He knew as soon as he said it that it was a mistake. You NEVER talk about a pregnant
woman’s
attire.

“Yes, this is what
I’m
wearing. Why? We are going to your mother’s not a fashion show.”

He started to say something
, but bit his tongue and changed
his tone. “I was just wonderin’ if you are goin’ to be comfortable, that’s all.” He smacked my ass as I walked past him.

“Seriously? That hurt.”

“You liked it. Stop your complainin’ before I take you upstairs and give you some more.” I knew he was teasing as I watched our son jump off the couch.

“I’m ready too!” Noah came to the front door in a pair of superman underwear
,
a hoodie and a cape, as well as giant red rain boots.

Oh, Good lord!

“Noah, Honey, what on earth are you wearing?” I asked.

“This is my superhero uniform.  I need to be ready in case you go into labor, Mom.”

Colt and I started laughing. Noah gave us a dirty look as Colt patted his head. “Buddy, you need to put on some pan
ts for now, but when we get to G
randma’s you can wear your uniform in the house.”

He went running up the steps toward his room and I could hear his drawers opening to his dresser.

I looked to Colt who was still laughing. “I can’t
believe
you told him he could take his pants off at your mother’s. What has gotten into him anyway?”

“He is excited about the baby, that’s all. I’
m excited too.”

Obviously…

“Well I do hope you don’t start taking your pants off at the dinner table too.”

“Darlin’, I will be taking them off as soon as we get back, because there ain’t nothin’ sexier than seein’ you in those old sweats.”

Smooth talker!

I grabbed his cheek and pulled him down to me for a kiss. “Good come back.”

“Are ya’ll ready to go or what?” Noah came whipping down the stairs and started opening the front door.

Since it was an icy mess outside, Colt held my hand and slowly helped me walk down the porch stairs and then to the truck. He lifted my fat butt up into it with no strain on himself. It was really nice to have such a strong man.  He patted my backside as I slid in.

He winked at me. “You liked that didn’t you.”

I leaned back out to whisper in his ear. “I will take care of this friskiness later on.”

“You promise?”

I nodded as I watched him walk around the truck and help Noah to get in. I’d been so exhausted recently to worry about my appearance, but just moments before pulling up to the
house
I realized I hadn’t even checked my hair. Colt was laughing at me as I tried to flip my hair up in some kind of neat ponytail with just my fingers as a brush.

Colt opened Noah’s door and he went running into his grandma’s house. Lucy would holler at him for getting the floor all messed up. Colt came around to my side and helped me get down. “You okay, Darlin’?”

“Yeah, it’s just hard getting around. This little person inside of me has run out of room.”

“I bet. Come on, let’s get you inside the warm house.”

Colt held my hand and led me into the house. He sat me down on a chair and started pulling off my boots. After he removed my jacket, we
headed into the living room. The house was super quiet. I should have expected they were up to something.