Rainfall (8 page)

We stop off at a store a few blocks from Adam’s apartment and stock up on all the necessaries. I throw a couple of bottles of wine into the cart and Adam grins at the cheap labels.

“I’ve missed you,” he says and my heart does a somersault in reaction to his smile. His eyes are amazing, I don’t think I will ever get used to them, they are so incredibly blue. 

“I’ve missed you too,” I smile back, throwing some microwave popcorn on top of the wine.

Chapter 10

Winter

“Think Adam. Really try. You have to be able to remember this. It’s your
life, you don’t just forget your life!” I urge and Adam furrows his brow in concentration before cursing in frustration.

“I can’t Paige! I just don’t remember. You think I haven’t tried?” He is almost at breaking-point, I can tell, but I'm so frustrated and so tired I cannot help myself. We have been at this for hours; the sun is low on the horizon and all the street lamps are coming on. It's only getting colder and there has been no rain since I arrived in New York. Christmas is four weeks away and the weather experts are all claiming it will be a white Christmas. The snow does not excite me; I don’t like the cold, it’s depressing.

“Try harder!” I'm almost yelling. “How did you get to that alley? Someone must have dropped you off, or you walked, but you didn’t just appear there. Unless you teleported from some other dimension?” The sarcasm oozes out of me and I hate myself for it.  I know that I'm being a bully, but it has been two weeks and we're getting nowhere. The only positive is that I have not seen any of the
alters
but this is not necessarily ideal as I need Jacob to get to the bottom of things.

“I know that! Don’t you think I know that?” he roars. “Do you think that I enjoy this?  That I
like
living like this? I want to get better. I want all these freaks out of my head. I want my life back! But I just can’t!” With that he grabs the coffee table and overturns it, the two coffee mugs that were resting on it smashing onto the tiled floor. 

I gape, open-mouthed, at Adam, not quite sure how to react to this sudden explosion.

“It’s a good thing those were empty,” he drawls, gesturing at the cups and in the instant that I meet his gaze I realise that Kyle is back. 

“Hello, Kyle,” I greet him nonchalantly, bending down and picking up the broken pieces of ceramic. “Where have you been?”

“Why, did you miss me?” he asks, leaning against the kitchen counter, watching me clean up.

“You know, you could help me,” I point out, “seeing as you were the one who made the mess in the first place,” I add, brushing past him to fetch the dustpan from the cleaning cupboard. 

“How do you know it wasn’t lover boy?” he raises his eyebrows innocently, and for a moment he looks so much like my Adam that it hurts.

“Because Adam would never do anything like that,” I reply confidently, sweeping the last few shards into the pan and then moving to empty it in the dustbin.

Kyle moves over to the settee, settling down and flicking through the channels until he finds a football station. I offer him some more tea which he declines rudely before asking me to fetch him a beer. I set it down on the table next to him and then I leave him to it for a few minutes, pondering my best course of action. Kyle is yelling at the screen; he seems to be somewhat of a football hooligan and obviously interrupting the game would be a very bad idea. I decide to make him something to eat. He seems to prefer a woman who knows her place, which I am fairly certain he believes is in the bedroom, or at the very least, in the kitchen. I make a few sandwiches and grab another beer, setting it all on the table in front of him. He glances at the offering, then gives me an appreciative onceover before turning his full attention back to the game. I settle down in the armchair across from him and wait for my opportunity.

Thank goodness Kyle’s team wins and his mood is positively jovial. He even offers to take the dishes to the kitchen. I take him up on the offer and he immediately saunters off to the bathroom, proclaiming that he has to take a leak first. Rolling my eyes I take everything to the kitchen myself and start loading the dishwasher. I busy myself with wiping down the counter and for good measure I open another beer and set it on the countertop. Kyle returns and, seeing the beer, comes and sits at the counter on one of the aluminium bar stools. He takes a huge swig, regarding me contemplatively.

“So, what are you doing here, anyway?” he asks.

“I live here,” I answer, in a laid-back voice. He almost chokes and some beer dribbles down his chin. He wipes it away with the back of his hand.

“He invited you to stay?” he asks incredulously.

“Yes.” I tilt my chin defiantly, irritated.

“What a pussy,” he laughs. “Oh well, that’s your business I suppose.”  He eyes me over the top of his bottle as he takes another swig. 

“What?” I snap. The way he is looking at me is disconcerting, like a cat would look at a mouse.

“Seeing as we're going to be living together,” he begins, a sexy smile spreading over his face. 

“Don’t even think about it,” I huff, putting his bottle in the dustbin. “It’s never going to happen.”

“Okay,” he sounds almost bored and he stands, picking up the car-keys from the counter.

“Where are you going?” I ask in alarm.

“Out,” he replies bluntly, grabbing a coat from the rack by the door. 

“I’m coming with you,” I grab my own coat and make to follow him, but he stands in the doorway and turns to face me, blocking my way.

“No, you're not.
” There is a finality to his tone that makes me nervous.

“I am,” I insist, refusing to back down. He is not going anywhere with Adam’s body, not without me.

“You can't stop me, sweetheart; I’m not Adam. You keep forgetting that. I’m not going to sit here and drink tea with you, make small talk and watch
Dancing with the Stars
. I'm going out.  There's a very sexy young blonde waitressing at the Café Grill down the block and I ain’t wasting any time.”

“You can’t do that,” I plead. “Think about Adam, Kyle. Please. It’s not fair.” 

“Life isn’t fair, sweetheart,” he drawls. “And I wouldn’t worry your pretty little head too much about Adam. That girl has an ass like Jessica Alba and a rack like a two dollar whore. Believe me, Adam is not going to be complaining.”

It’s a knee-jerk reaction that I regret instantly, but my hand flies forward of its own accord and connects with his cheek in a resounding slap. Kyle touches his hand to his cheek, his eyes widening in astonishment which immediately turns to rage. I know that I have gone too far; Kyle has completely lost his fragile control of his temper. I brace myself as his arm comes up and I shut my eyes, cowering in genuine fear. This is going to hurt.

“No!” he howls and then there is silence. I open one eye and see him standing above me, staring in disbelief at his own hand, which is hanging in mid-air. He is panting slightly, as though with exertion, and as I stare up at him, Adam looks down and meets my gaze.

“Paige?” he asks, stumbling slightly. He is confused and completely disoriented,

“Adam!” I grab onto him and bury my face in his chest, trying to gain control of my fear and swallow the tears that are threatening to overflow. I take a minute and then I drape his arm over my shoulder and lead him to the dining-room table. He is very pale and a sheen of sweat is shining on his forehead. I sit opposite him, taking his hands.

“Adam,” I make sure I have his full attention. “Adam, how did you do that?”

“What did I do?” he looks terrified and I don’t answer immediately; I am thinking, wondering how it is possible. “Paige!” he is frantic. “What did I do? Did I hit you? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I squeeze his hands reassuringly. “You did nothing. He did nothing,” I clarify. “But you did. You broke through, Adam! You stopped him from hurting me.” I am grinning even though my head is still spinning trying to make sense of it all.

“We need to speak to the doc.” I get up and rummage in my bag for my phone. I am busy dialling when I notice that Adam hasn’t moved and he is not looking half as happy as he should.

“Adam?”  I ask, my hands pausing in the act of dialling. He doesn’t answer and I clear the screen and set the phone down on the table. I sit back down and take his hands.

“Adam, what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” he asks, frowning in disbelief. “What’s wrong, Paige? What the hell do you think is wrong? He was going to hurt you!”

“Well, yeah,” I shrug, “but he didn’t. You made sure of that.”

“He is such an asshole!” Adam runs his hands through his black curls in frustration. “I want him out of my head!”

“Hey, hey!”
I rub his arm, trying to soothe him. “He’s not that bad. I kind of provoked him.  And I don’t think it was a conscious thing, he just reacted instinctively. I mean, sure, he’s an asshole, but it’s not like he’s dangerous or anything.”

He stares up at me, hollow-eyed. 

“What did he react to?”

“Oh,” I look down at the floor, “I um, well I may have...” I trail off trying to think of a way to say it without freaking Adam out, but I can’t so I just get to the point, “I slapped him.”

“You what?” he asks, then, looking thoughtful, he lifts his hand to his cheek and rubs his jaw.  “Oh.” He looks torn between pride and consternation. “Paige!” 

“I know, I know,” I hold my hands up in mock
surrender, “I shouldn’t have done it. Believe me, I know that,” I roll my eyes. “He’s just so frustrating." I click my tongue in annoyance and Adam smiles slightly. Relief washes over me that his brief bout of self-persecution has passed. I stare at his face, so familiar and so strange at the same time. I never know what to expect of this face. I run my hand over it and ruffle his black hair. His eyes, reflecting the light from the window, are almost turquoise.  

“Come here,” he kisses the inside of my wrist and pulls me to my feet. He cups my face in his hands and kisses my eyes, my nose and my mouth. I moan when he pulls away and he chuckles. 

“It’s getting late, Miss Petrova,” he grins, “I think we should get you to bed.” 

“I couldn’t agree more,” I laugh, unbuttoning my top button. He lunges for me as I turn and scarper down the passage into the bedroom.

I cannot fall asleep. I lie naked with my head on Adam’s chest, listening to his steady heartbeat, my leg slung across his body and a million thoughts swirling in my head. I heave a sigh and gently extricate my arm from under his body, slipping from the sheets and pulling his T-shirt – the only item of clothing that I can find, groping around in the dark – over my head. I slip my feet into my slippers and make my way to the kitchen. I pour myself a glass of water straight from the faucet and stand at the sink, gazing out of the window at the view of the city. I turn the cold water tap back on and wet my fingers, running them over the back of my neck. I feel exhausted. Maybe tomorrow I should ask Doctor Sheldon for some sleeping pills.

“Paige?”  I turn to find him standing in the doorway, a towel draped around his hips. I catch my breath at the sight of him. He is truly astounding, his perfect sculpted torso and his strong arms are almost painful to look at. “Are you okay?” he asks, yawning widely, showing his perfectly even white teeth.

“Fine,” I smile weakly and he raises his eyebrow. 

“What is it?” he asks, taking a few steps forward. I cannot bear to look him in the eye for what I am about to say and I turn quickly back to the window. He moves up behind me and his arms come around me, pulling me back against his warm body. I sigh and drop my head back onto his shoulder. His hand slips under the T-shirt and moves up to cup my breast and I groan. 

“Adam,” my voice breaks and I start again, “Adam,” I'm relieved that I sound a bit stronger. 

“Hmm?” he murmurs into my ear, his lips at my neck. I take a deep breath.

“Adam, I'm going to sleep with him.”

“What?” He jumps back as though he has just stepped on a rattlesnake. The towel slips and he grabs it, securing it more tightly around his body as he eyes me in disbelief.

“What are you talking about?” 

“Kyle,” I answer, nodding my head, “I'm going to sleep with Kyle.”

I expect his bellow of refusal and I let him rage on. I don’t blame him but I have given this a lot of thought and my mind is made up.

“Are you insane?” he asks, the muscle in his jaw twitching.

“Adam,” I turn to face him and place my hands on either side of his face. “Kyle is very sexual.”  I ignore his grimace of disgust. “He is going to have sex; with or without us.  It’s just who he is.  Unfortunately.” I take a deep breath, barely able to believe what I am saying myself.  I frown, hating that I am the cause of the anguish that is so visible on his beautiful face.

“I love you,” I say and he barely seems to notice. I try again. “I love you, Adam Parker.  More than I ever thought possible.” Tears well in my eyes and he takes hold of my shoulders, his fingers biting into me. I can feel the depth of his despair and it breaks my heart but it gives me the strength I need to go on. “I will not let him use your body, Adam. It belongs to you.” He shakes his head. 

“No, it belongs to you,” he corrects, breathing out slowly, trying not to give in to his obvious emotions and I smile encouragingly.

“Even better.
It belongs to me. So I'm the only person that will be having sex with this body.”  He grimaces again and I pull him down onto the couch, sitting down beside him.

“Think about it, Adam. What if he goes off and gets you infected with some disease?  Kyle hardly strikes me as the selective type.
And what if he goes off and gets some stranger pregnant? I can’t be with him all the time.  If he goes off on some booty call he'll leave me behind. We have no idea the trouble he could get you into. We cannot risk your life like that.”