Rancher Bear: BBW Bear Shifter Romance (Bear Haven Book 2) (6 page)

“I know what you mean,” Ruby said. “It’s like getting swept away by a hurricane. Except with the McAllisters, if you just go with it, you end up somewhere so much better than you were before.”

Bonnie let out another, longer sigh. Ruby didn’t understand the pressures her friend faced. She never could.

For a moment, she was tempted to take Jesse’s prompting to tell Ruby who she was. After all, Ruby knew about shifters now. Bear shifters anyway. But Bonnie had pretended to not be aware of what happened last year when Shane had fought a cougar shifter for her friend, so Ruby had no idea Bonnie knew too.

Jesse had sensed it from the start, so he'd been sort of halfhearted about covering her eyes.

She didn’t really understand how Jesse knew, though. One of the benefits of being a cat shifter was, generally, other shifters couldn’t scent you. You had to tell them or they had to know your family. It was unique to all the families of cats, and it kept wolves and bears from being too aware of them.

Cats tended to be some of the more sexually attractive shifters, both to humans and within their own race, so they didn’t need any trouble from rival males. At least, she guessed, that was part of it.

Wolves tended to have unique powers depending on their family alpha lines. And bears tended to be strong and good at sensing fated mates.

She had heard of cats having fated mates before, but it sounded like fairy tales to her. And obviously, since she was promised to Seth, that hadn’t been for her.

But now it was coming true. But was it even possible for a cat to mate with a bear?

She didn’t know.

“What are you thinking over there?” Ruby asked, cocking her head to the side and looking at her patiently.

“I don’t know,” Bonnie said. “Just… yeah. I don’t know.”

“Tell you what. Let’s go use the hot tub at the main lodge.”

“They have a hot tub?” Bonnie raised an eyebrow. “Why didn’t I know about this?”

“Because our super possessive men didn’t want us hanging out with the guests. But it’s low season, and no one should be there. Come on. It’ll relax your muscles and we can have girl talk and gossip about what we’ll do when Harmony gets here.”

“Oh yeah,” Bonnie said. “That’s soon, isn’t it?”

“Just a couple days,” Ruby said, standing and stretching. “Come on. There’s nothing like a Jacuzzi in a nice cool solarium with a window open and the mountain breeze running through.”

“This really is more like a high-end resort than anything else,” Bonnie muttered. “I’m gonna get so spoiled here that I never want to go back.”

“That’s the general idea,” Ruby said, throwing an arm around her friend and leading her out the back door. “Come on.”

“All right, all right, I’m coming. We just need to stop by my room on the way back and get my swimsuit.”

“All right,” Ruby said, pumping a fist in the air. “Girl time! I totally need this.” She jogged down the front steps and then looked up at her friend, her pale hair waving in the breeze. “I really do hope you fall in love with Jesse. Then you can just move out here.”

Bonnie opened her mouth to chide her, but Ruby just stuck out her tongue and jogged ahead as Bonnie shut the door behind her.

Ruby was acting like a child, but Bonnie couldn’t help laughing. At least, after so many years, her friend was truly happy.

Bonnie wondered if she could ever be brave enough to accept the same for herself.

B
onnie was still dressed
in her wet swimsuit and wrapped in a long, white terrycloth robe as she carried a bag with the rest of her things back to Jesse’s place.

She didn’t see any reason not to just stay with him so they could spend the most amount of time together while getting to know one another.

She opened the door to go in and was surprised to see he’d already gotten home.

A huge vase of red, long-stemmed roses, at least two dozen of them, stood on the counter, filling the room with love and warmth.

She’d never gotten roses before from Seth. Just tired, premade spring bunches out of obligation on Valentine’s Day.

She dropped her things on the ground and ran over to them, grabbing the card out from among the blooms and opening it to read it.

H
ad
to drive a few towns over to find fresh flowers, but it was worth it to find something as beautiful as you. Had to go back out for something else, but you’ll find a surprise in the bedroom that should keep you busy until I get back. Love, Jesse.

H
er heart gave
a little thump as she looked in the direction of the bedroom. Last night, she’d just been coming to Jesse’s room in the hopes he could give her an experience she wouldn’t forget. Good sex.

But after they’d said romantic words last night, it seemed both of them were now on a super romantic collision course. Of course, Jesse McAllister didn’t do anything halfway. She’d let him know he had a chance, and he was taking advantage of every bit of it.

It made her smile. It was like he was packing all the attention and romance she’d been missing in all her years into just a day or two. She took the roses with her into the bedroom. The were about half as tall she was, with long, graceful, thick stems and huge, mostly closed blooms that would turn into deep, vivid red roses the size of her fist when they opened.

The most beautiful flowers she would ever get, for sure.

When she opened the door to her bedroom, she saw boxes littering the bed.

She grinned. Apparently, he’d been driving all over trying to get her presents. Still, as she placed the vase on the dresser and sat on the bed to open the gifts, she couldn’t help thinking she’d rather see
him
at this moment than a bunch of presents.

But after so much lack of wooing, it was a little nice. As a novelty. For now.

She pulled the first box onto her lap and saw high-end chocolates. A beautiful gold box. She held her breath as she opened it and took the first one out. It melted on her tongue in a delicious way, full of exotic flavors that gave her a little shiver. Then she set the chocolates aside and opened the next gift.

It was a box filled with books he’d picked up for her to read. Romance novels, nonfiction. It all looked fun. She’d told him before that she’d loved to read, and he’d teased her about her romance addiction the first time he met her.

She flipped through a few of the books, looking them over, and then set them aside too.

She picked up the last box and shook it, surprised to see it was heavy and seemed to contain multiple things. She opened it to see fancy rose champagne nestled in careful packing, along with a carton of chocolate-covered strawberries.

She set that aside too and flopped back on the bed, a big grin on her face.

This was so not what she’d expected when she’d come to Jesse’s cabin last night.

She looked at the time on the clock over the desk and decided Shane and Ruby were probably doing newlywed stuff for the rest of the day and she should just have some quiet time to herself.

Things would definitely heat up the second Jesse got home.

She opened one of the books, propped herself against the pillows, and began to read, losing herself in a world of romance that really for once in her life wasn’t so different from how she was actually living.

If this was a dream, she didn’t want to wake up.

She read for a few hours, then got up to walk around the cabin, eating some of the strawberries and chocolates. When it was nearly dinnertime and it was beginning to get dark outside, she opened the fridge and pulled out some lunchmeat to make a sandwich. A part of her felt a twinge of sorrow at the fact that Jesse wasn’t back yet. Was he avoiding her?

She heard the doorbell and ran to the door, hoping to be able to jump into his arms and thank him for all the gifts and proposition him for another night like the last one.

But instead, a man dressed like one of the workers from the lodge was there, holding a large tray that presumably held dinner.

“No Jesse?” she asked.

The worker shrugged and walked in with the food, setting it down on the table in front of her before turning around to leave.

Bonnie followed him to the door and shut it behind him, flipping the lock and then leaning against the door with folded arms and a sigh.

Coldness moved through her and the thought that maybe Jesse was actually avoiding her.

Maybe all of these presents were apologies for how far things had gone? Maybe he was treating her more like a mistress than a dating prospect.

After all, chocolates and flowers and fancy dinners were nice, but none of it made much difference if the man himself wasn’t there to share her happiness with her.

Plus, the cat in her wanted to scratch his back. She paced and then finally sat down at the table and opened the tray.

She gasped at the note there. It wasn’t lacy or folded or written neatly like Jesse’s had been.

She took it with trembling hands. She’d thought Jesse sent over dinner as a way of telling her he wasn’t going to be able to join her. It had been a huge disappointment, since every nice thing he’d done that day had only made her more excited to see him.

But it wasn’t from Jesse at all. Instead, on the plate in front of her were a plain steak and some potatoes on the side. And the note was from Seth.

I
’m waiting
for you at the lodge. I know you’re staying with the bear, and I don’t know why, but all the same, if you come back now, all is forgiven. Just come talk to me. We’ll work it out.

Seth.

S
he shoved
the note back onto the table, a sick feeling in her stomach. He’d listed a room number where they could meet.

Could he really be there at the ranch? Waiting for her? It was the worst possible time. The worst thing that could happen. She needed a few more days with Jesse. To really enjoy life and feel strong enough to say no to someone like Seth.

But if she didn’t go to him…

He could cause all kinds of trouble. Seth had a way of fooling people, of being charming and getting his way. She knew if she saw him again, he’d start trying to win her over, pressuring her, reminding her of her family and her responsibilities.

He wouldn’t care that she was falling in love in Jesse and that Jesse could love her back in a way Seth never could.

She drummed her fingers on the counter. When she’d left, she wanted Seth to come after her. Now he had, and she wished he were back on the other side of the country.

All she wanted was to stay here and wait for Jesse. Hopefully, he was still coming home soon. She looked outside and saw it was already getting dark.

Maybe if she left now, she could talk quickly to Seth, tell him it really was over, and then hurry back to tell Jesse before he found out on his own. The last thing she needed was Seth showing up to cause a scene.

She didn’t know how bear mating worked, but if Seth was able to convince Jesse of all the things about Bonnie he’d worked so hard to convince her of as well, she didn’t know if Jesse would want to mate her anymore.

She just needed to sort things out with Seth. Tell him he deserved to be happy too. Every bit as much as she did. That this marriage couldn’t make either of them happy in that way.

She pulled on a heavy sweatshirt and headed out into the night toward the main lodge.

It was time to pay the piper. Just one last thing, and then she could move on.

B
onnie felt
her nerves abandoning her as she knocked on the door listed on the note Seth had written.

Just get it over with
, she told herself.
Just hurry and tell him and then move on.

She told herself she was a new Bonnie. Someone he couldn’t control anymore, the way he’d been controlling her since they were kids. But apprehension prickled through her like a cat raising its hackles.

When he opened the door and looked straight at her, she felt her courage fail. She wasn’t the new, empowered Bonnie she’d been becoming the past few days. She was the same Bonnie that had always been a good girl, always followed the family rules, and always done as Seth asked.

Like a good little future mate.

He had red hair, like she did, though his was more of an orangey strawberry-blond. He was handsome, average height, with freckles dotting his cheeks and nose. He had a slightly elven, boyish appearance that had always gone over well with the female clients at their vet practice.

But there was a hardness, a coldness to his eyes that struck her as hard as a rock to the head as he slowly inhaled the air and then narrowed his eyes at her. “What have you done?” he asked, opening the door wide and nodding sternly for her to come in.

Though they were the same age, Seth liked to act like he was older. Still, she didn’t know how he had the power to intimidate her when he wasn’t nearly the size of Jesse. He was much bigger than her, true, but those of her race weren’t used to being big. Unusually strong, yes, but not big.

“I didn’t do anything,” she said, letting him close the door but keeping it to her back so she could make a quick exit if needed. She wasn’t worried though. Seth had never hurt her. Physically anyway. Emotionally, he’d only been cold, and the fact that it hurt said more about her expectations than his personality.

“Look,” Seth said, running his hand through his red hair and making it stand on end. “I’ve made a mess of things. I get that. I was supposed to come after you, but I had to take care of some things at work.”

“You know Tammy could have subbed,” Bonnie said, folding her arms. “We’ve subbed at her hospital. She could have spared someone.”

Seth shrugged. “I didn’t think of it. Anyway, I’m sorry.” He reached out a hand for her. “Anyway, that’s no reason to go taking up with a bear.”

She didn’t take his hand, and he stood with a loud exhale and took hers anyway, pulling her over to sit on the bed beside him.

He patted her knee gently and nodded his head. “That’s right. Everything’s fine. I forgive you. You weren’t in your time, so you won’t be having his young.”

“Is that even possible?” she asked, and then Seth’s expression went dark, his brown eyes even colder, and she knew asking it had been a mistake.

“Why?” he asked. “You aren’t thinking of settling down with him, are you?” He shook his head haughtily. “I mean, a big rough bear is fine for a fling here and there, but honey, you’re a
lynx
. One of the few left. You can do so much better.”

“Oh?” Bonnie asked, pushing away from him angrily with both hands. “Better, as in you? Someone who has never made a tenth of the effort Jesse has in two days?” She pushed hard, nearly knocking him off the bed. “You idiot. You think you know everything. You think you’re already in charge. You think lynx society is the most important thing in the world. But Jesse is worth ten of you.”

Seth caught himself on the edge of the bed with both hands, and his expression turned calm and calculated. She hated when he looked like that. She hadn’t realized how much until just this moment.

“So that’s how you feel. You already want him. You’ve chosen him,” he said.

She nodded. “Yes.”

Inside, she wasn’t really sure, but for now, if it got Seth off of her, she’d say yes. Even if after that, she knew she’d still need time to decide whether to be with Jesse. If she just said yes right away to him, it would be just like things with Seth. Her just going along with what a man wanted for her life.

And she’d never do that again.

Seth sighed as if in defeat. “Fine. If that’s what you want. But I don’t get why you’re suddenly throwing everything away. Your duties, our relationship. Honestly, Bonnie, have you gone insane?”

She pulled on her hair in frustration. “The only insane thing I’ve ever done was think I could date you. I know now that you could never make me happy. Never give me everything I need.”

“Bonnie, with me you’d be a princess, practically royalty in our world,” Seth said. “How can you give that up for a stinky ranch?” He sniffed the air in disdain.

“Easy,” she said. “I love this stinky ranch. And I can serve horses here. And Jesse—”

“Jesse this, Jesse that,” Seth said, turning his head side to side. “This is the brother of the man that lured your friend out here to mate her to save his own property, right? Are you just a part of that?”

“No,” she said. She’d never be just a piece of property to Jesse. If that were all he wanted, he could have moved faster. Instead, he was taking it slow, letting her decide.

Seth shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Maybe he’s just good at hiding it.”

When Bonnie was quiet, Seth seemed to deflate somewhat, letting his shoulders sag as he stared at her in bewilderment.

“I don’t understand, Bon. I thought we were happy. As much as anyone in our species is, considering we’re matched from birth.”

Bonnie took a deep breath. What she was about to say was something that should have been brought up long ago, but she’d never known how. Perhaps, deep inside, she hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it. Because that would ruin the fairy tale she’d been trying to convince herself she could live.

It had been easier to live in the lie Seth was telling. That everything would be fine and they would have an ideal marriage and life if they just followed the rules their society had laid out for them.

There was just one problem. The mate they had picked for her didn’t want her that way. Never would.