Random Acts of Senseless Violence (35 page)

JULY
10

Mama says she missed me while she clinicked. She nearly comaed this morning till I walked her backforth and poured the coffee down her. Now she's bedded eyeing ceilingways like if she looks long and hard enough she'll viz what's downcoming with time enough to duck.

Then this afternoon Iz called. ‘How's Jude?' I asked. ‘Recuperating' Iz said. ‘You nursing her or her friends keeping her downtown?' I asked. ‘They overlooking her at their place she'll get kept proper there' Iz said. ‘What about your rib?' I asked. ‘It's achy but I'm all right' Iz said. ‘How's your head?' ‘It pains me' I told her. I hadn't aimed to but then I told her about Mister Mossbacher how I trailed him what happened when I caught the way he slumped and wiggled. It's unsayable now what made me spill like I did but it racks me when I retell it mindways and if anybody could read everthing I wrote I knew it would be Iz.

‘What's thought Iz?' I asked once I done the tell. ‘That's senseless Lo' she said. ‘Not total though' I said defending. ‘Senseless enough what'd he ever do to you direct?' ‘He fazed Daddy till Daddy had his heart attack and then he stole our money' I said. ‘Known but what he do to you
direct not indirect?' Iz asked. ‘Nada direct' I said. ‘He know who you were?' Iz said. ‘No' I said certified that he didn't and now rethinking it that was something that livened it most. ‘That's bad craziness, Lo, if revenging's called for it's got to be reasoned and it's got to be for something somebody did direct. Otherwise better let it slide, it all just worsens longterm if you don't' Iz said. ‘I'm sorry' I said. ‘You didn't do nothing to me' Iz said. ‘Can I see you?' I asked missing her wanting to be with her wanting her to hold me. ‘Better not. You awful mixed now Lo you better see how you sort' she said. That ached me but not as much as before I spec I'm adjusting to going solo when it essentials that's all that needs doing. I reason total how I'm going to sort. ‘Maybe sometime' I said. ‘Maybe. I do love you Lola' Iz said. ‘Love you too' I told her and I'm truthing I do and always will but that's matterless mostly both ways these days. We've walled apart not for Jude not cause I love love her but cause I crossed over and you can't come here less you want. Night's darkened full now and I spec I'm finally set to ride. Take me street take me.

Bye bye Anne. You're my best friend but I've penned myself dry with all I writ. You give ear when everybody deafs and lend me shoulder constant if tears need dropping. I know you're always with me but time shorts and I have to solo present. Deathpeace still be a undone deal but I set now ready when it come whenever it come. I do the warning first though so nobody sully you fore I close out.

Lookabout people. Beef me overlong and I groundbound you express. Down down down you go down and I be bottomed out set to catch. Snatch your whispers and tape what plays then hit rewind and scream you to sleep, siren you ass and then ex you proper. Lookabout all you. Spec your mirror and there I be. Crazy evilness be my design if that's what needs wearing. All people herebound be evil-souled heartside, no ho they sweet talk. Shove do push and push do shove and everbody in this world leave lovelost hereafter. Lookabout. Chase me if you want. Funnyface me
if you keen but mark this when I go chasing I go catching. Eye cautious when you step out people cause I be running streetwild come nightside and nobody safes when I ride. I bite. Can't cut me now. Can't fuck me now. Can't hurt me now. No more. No more.

Night night Anne. Night night. I'm with the DCons now.