Rarity (12 page)

Chapter 17

Things always looked different the next day.  Skies seemed bluer, grass was greener.  The worries of yesterday were magically reduced to a manageable size and brand new ideas and thoughts were born.  Oddly enough, Mom’s words were like seeds planted in the
night, now growing and blossoming inside me.  Jay was very much alive.  He was healthy, a bit fragile, but more alive than many kids my age who lived life mindlessly.  If anything, this stupid disorder made him more alive.  Made ME more alive.  I wanted to make memories with Jay, live each day to the fullest, laugh till my belly hurt, cry at sad movies with him, watch the sunrise and the sunset whenever I could.  Life was a gift, not to be taken for granted.  It could be here one day and gone the next, or it could go on for a very long time.   
 

My mom had left before I was even awake.  I grabbed my phone and texted Jay.

             
             
Good luck.  I’m thinking about you.

He didn’t reply so I plugged in my phone and got ready for the day. 

Seconds turned to minutes, minutes to hours, and hours felt like an eternity.  I attempted homework but I was too obsessed with checking my phone.  Mom’s car finally pulled in the driveway around 4pm.  That was a LONG meeting, no texts or calls - I was like a cat that had been caged all day.  I ran to the front door and Mom looked wary.  She came up the porch steps, “Hey sweetie,  let me go change, ok?”  No, I really didn’t think I could wait a second longer, but what could I say?  I grabbed my phone again to check for a text from Jay but there was nothing yet.  Mom rounded the corner after five minutes wearing sweats, no makeup, and her hair brushed out.  She headed to the kitchen and pulled out the leftover casserole.  I stared at her silently, waiting for her report.  She plated up two servings and heated them in the microwave.  “Get yourself a drink.  We’ll chat over dinner.”  I obliged and got a glass of tea and poured one for her as well.  I sat at the table waiting.  Mom placed both plates down and unfolded her napkin in her lap.

“You’re killing me here.  I’m dying to know what happened.”  I looked at Mom with a pleading face.

“OK, well.  It was very hard for Jay to tell his dad about VEDS.  But he did it.”  She took a bite of her food.  I was feeling angry because I could have guessed all of that information, I wanted more specific details.

“And???”  I bit.  Mom cleared her throat and gave me a cautioning look.

“Jay has to be the one to tell you most of this sweetie.  His dad heard us out but was very shocked and clearly upset.  Time will only tell how he handles the information.  I plan to visit with his on-site therapist weekly to advise and check in.  If I need to visit him to chat in person, I’ll do that.”  I nodded.  Inside I felt thankful my mom cared so much about Jay.  “It’s going to be hard, for everyone.”  She continued eating.

“How was Jay afterwards?”  I asked.  I was surprised to not get a text from him yet about his day or meeting up.

“He was quiet for most of the drive home.  He was emotional when he told his dad about it but then he kind of went inside of himself.  He probably just needs some time to think and let his emotions settle.”  I was beginning to doubt that Jay would contact me tonight.  I finished dinner with Mom and we talked about plans for the next day.  Mom thought it would be a great day to plant some bulbs. 

After I cleaned up the plates, I checked my phone.  No message.  I quickly typed a text:

             
Wondering how you are and how it went.  Do you still want to see a movie?

My phone dinged and I checked my messages.

-Thanks, I think I need to pass on the movie tonight.  Too drained.  Catch up with u later.

The ball was in his court.  I needed to wait for him to come to me.  I plugged in my

phone
, got my running clothes on and decided I’d go for a run.  The evening air was still cool so I zipped up my hoodie and put on my headphones.  Mom saw me stretching in the front hall and knew I was going out for a jog.  “I might end up at Meg’s, Mom. I’ll call if I do.”  She nodded and waved.  I ran toward the school and felt the crisp spring air in my lungs.  There was still enough daylight for a short run so I tried to use that daylight efficiently.  I ran countless laps around the school track, feeling the burn in my thigh and calf muscles.  It felt good to push my body hard, to feel the muscles grow hard under my skin.  The sky began quickly descending and I started to head back.  My mind was still thinking about Jay.  I felt darkness in me, sadness, like I could feel what he was feeling.  Stupid empathic crap.  Before I knew it, I looked up and realized I was at Jay’s house ringing the bell.  As I waited for the footsteps from inside to grow louder and open the door, I began to turn and try to flee.

“Brogen.  What are you doing here?”  I froze at the sound of Jay’s voice.

“I’m sorry, I made a mistake.  I shouldn’t be here.”

“Wait, you’re already here, what’s up?”  He asked.  I looked at his face to see if it matched what I felt inside.  Unfortunately it did.  I could see the sadness in his face and his guarded posture.  “Are you ok?”

“Me?  You’re asking ME if I’m ok?”  I laughed in a dismissing way.  “I...it drove me crazy to think about what you went through today.  To not be able to comfort you.  Are you ok?”  He took a step outside and approached me slowly.

“Sorry.  Today sucked, but it’s over with.  I was trying to drown myself in some music and hoped I’d feel better.”  I turned to face him all the way.  He was looking at a crack in the sidewalk.  I walked over and wrapped my arms around Jay.  He grabbed hold of me and held onto me as if I could save him.  “I hate this,”  he whispered.  “I don’t want this fucking disorder, I never asked for it.”  I could hear the tears in his voice.

“I know,’  I kissed his cheek, “And I’m so sorry you have to deal with all of this.”  He nuzzled in closer. He needed comfort, love, and understanding.  He probably needed five years worth of hugs and love.  I rubbed my hand gently along his back.  “You know, even with this news, you are the same Jay you were before the diagnosis.  You just have to be a little more careful.”  I must have been channeling my inner Mom because it felt like something she would say.  “Life goes on with no guarantees.  People without VEDS can get hit by a car tomorrow and die.  So you can’t live your life with one foot in the grave.”

He looked at me, wiped a tear away and smiled. “I need to take you to the movies...too much time with you mom.  You’re starting to sound like her.”

“Yeah, I clearly need a better social life .”  He laughed - that was a great sign.  He sucked in a big breath.

“Thank you.”  Our eyes were locked on each other and I was glad to see he seemed lighter.  He took a step closer, closing the space between us so our bodies were touching each other.  I felt my heartbeat quicken and butterflies began to flutter about my stomach.  This was an intimate space and he clearly entered it.  The air between us changed, it was more electric.  He put his hands on each side of my face, and then gently but in a possessive way, he took my mouth.  He kissed gently at first and I felt my knees grow weak.  His lips were soft and his breath was hot.  I let my mind go and became enveloped in the overwhelming love that Jay exuded.  He urged my mouth open and our kiss became more intimate.  I felt the heat rising in my cheeks and followed Jay’s lead.  His hands trailed down my arms and came around my torso.  The kisses returned to gentle nibbles and then to sweet pecks before he pulled away to look at me.  All traces of sadness were gone from his face, from inside of me.  There was light and love there instead. Jay said, “I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.”

“Well, what took you so long?”  I asked and he smiled. 

“Life, but  I won’t let it happen again.”  He leaned in and gave me a slow gentle kiss.  “I’m picking you up at 10 tomorrow for coffee.”

“You’re not asking, you’re telling me?”  He nodded with a big smile on his face.  “Ok, but only if you come help my mom and me in our garden afterward.”  I wasn’t sure what he’d say, but I hoped he’d agree to it.  Digging in the dirt did wonders for my soul.  It cleared my head and centered me, it would be great for Jay.

“Umm, I kinda have a brown thumb.”  I felt my face fall in disappointment.  “But, if it scored me a coffee with you, I’ll try.”  I looked down and realized at some point that Jay had grabbed my hand and was holding it.  He followed my eyes and smiled at me.

“Deal, see you around 10.”  I went up on my toes and gave Jay a quick peck before releasing his hand and waving bye.  He returned the wave and put his hands in his pockets as I began jogging home.  I made it home in record time to find Mom relaxing on the couch watching tv.

“You never called.  Did you stop at Meg’s?”  Shoot. 

“Sorry, actually I stopped at Jay’s.  I should have called,”  I answered.

“Next time call ok?  Did he say anything?”  She inquired.

“He just said it was hard - looked pretty upset.”  Mom listened with her therapist ears, noting my comments in her head.  “But then I laid a couple of Dr. Mom lines on him and…” I wondered if I should tell the next part.  He’d be here tomorrow and I really didn’t want to hide anything from Mom. “We kissed.”  Her eyes grew big.  She waited for more details but I was not giving any more.

“Just, take things slow, please.  Jay’s dealing with a lot.”

“Oh, I’m in no hurry to speed through this relationship.”

I kissed Mom goodnight and went to my room to text Meg. 

Jay kissed me.

-SHUT UP!

Nope, it’s true.

-About. Frickin’. Time.

Lol, love you.

-Love you too

I changed into my bedtime clothes and sketched in my journal.  Mom peeked in and said goodnight to me. I turned out the light and pulled up the covers.  I lay awake thinking about the kiss Jay and I shared. It was beautiful.  It meant so much more than if it had happened after a first date. This kiss was spontaneous and filled with love - magical.  My phone beeped and lit up my room.  I unlocked my screen and saw a text from Jay.

              -
Can’t stop thinking about you.  Goodnight.

I turned to mush inside. 

             
Me too.  I’m glad I stopped by.  Goodnight.

He replied.

              -XXooo

             
XXOo

Chapter 18

The next day Jay picked me up for coffee.  We held hands most of the time and kept the conversation light.  Even though he didn’t kiss me again
,  it was clear that Jay and I had taken a new path in our relationship.  True to his word, Jay helped plant bulbs in our garden. He started with gloves on his hands, a gardening apron Mom had in the shed, and tools in hand.  He looked like  Martha Stewart’s apprentice.  After several pokes and jabs, I convinced him to lose the gloves - it made for a more true gardening experience.  He had no idea what he was doing in the garden but he had a good attitude and did what we advised. 

The sun was high in the sky and the day was turning out to be quite warm.  “I’ll make up some sandwiches while you two finish.”  Mom walked back into the house and Jay’s eyes followed her.  As soon as she was out of sight, he leaned over and kissed me.  It was the kind of kiss that made time disappear - made you lost in the moment.  The kind that poured love from his heart, directly into mine.  We pulled apart and this sexy grin spread across his face.

“I love your kisses,” he said.

I blushed and then, not knowing how to respond, cleared my throat.  “She’ll be back any moment - should finish.”  Jay chuckled at my awkwardness but finished replacing the mulch over the bulbs.  We headed toward the shed to hang up our tools.  I purposely bumped him with my trowel.   “Oops, sorry I didn’t see you there.”  He stopped dead in his tracks and leveled me with his gaze.  A few steps more and I bumped him again.  “Gosh, I’m so clumsy today.”

“Do it again Brogen and I’ll have to kiss you.”

“Is that a threat?”

“A promise.”  I laughed at him and then hung up my trowel, took off my gloves and turned and bumped right into him.

“That’s it - now you’ve asked for it,” he warned.

“No way - you were 10 steps behind me when I went to put the trowel away.  You snuck up on me!”

“Doesn’t matter how it happened, all that matters is you bumped me again and now I get a kiss.”  I swatted his arm playfully and he stepped on the tips of my toes so I couldn’t run away.  But once he landed the kiss, there was no more fighting it.  I didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world, than in his arms.

“Lunch is ready!  You two almost done in there?”  Mom yelled from the yard.

“Almost,” Jay hollered back.  I laughed and he kissed me gently 3 more times before grabbing my hand and leading me out to the patio.

*******

At school Jay sat with us at lunch and I enjoyed watching Meg and Jay tease back and forth like brother and sister.  Jay always held my hand or placed his hand on my knee during lunch.  If we were near each other, we had this magnetic attraction and needed to physically touch the other person.  School did not allow many opportunities for private time, but Jay and I had many chances to catch each other’s eyes and there was so much said in those glances.  He always walked me home after school and gave me a gentle kiss goodbye. 

On one of our walks home, Jay invited me to come over Saturday afternoon to watch a movie in his Aunt and Uncle’s basement.  Their basement was totally finished with a leather couch, large flat screen tv, and decked out stereo equipment.  It also had a pool table.  Jay said they remodeled it so the kids were more likely to hangout at home than find trouble elsewhere.

Saturday afternoon quickly approached and I put on my comfy jeans and a blue and white striped polo.  I walked down to his house and stopped when I saw Becca’s car in the driveway.  She and Soren seemed to be getting close but I didn’t trust her.  She had it bad for Jay and I suspected her moves on Soren were to make Jay jealous.  Maybe I could call and ask Jay if we could just go to the theater instead.  I took my phone out of my pocket and heard the front door open.  “What are you doing out here?”  Jay asked.  I pointed at Becca’s car. 

“Is that Becca’s?”

“Yeah, but listen, I called the basement - they won’t bug us.  Besides, I think they are leaving soon.”  I felt better thinking they wouldn’t be there long. 

“Ok.”  I followed Jay inside.  I said hello to his aunt and uncle and looked around for Soren and Becca but saw no sign of them.  Jay told his aunt and uncle we were headed downstairs.  He grabbed a few sodas and a bag of chips.  “What are we watching?”

“The Ring.  Have you seen it?”  I shook my head.  “Oh, it’s one of the best horror flicks.”  I didn’t scare easily so I was up for it.  He set our stuff down on the coffee table and got the movie queued up.  Then he plopped down in the corner of the couch and motioned for me to sit next to him.  I sat close but kept some space between us.  He noticed the distance and scooched closer so he could put his arm around me.

“I think I left my purse downstairs.”  I heard Becca’s voice approaching and Jay felt me tense.  He squeezed my shoulder to remind me he was right next to me.  “Jay, have you seen my…”  and her eyes fell on me.  “Well, look who’s here!”

“Get your purse and go Becca.  I think it’s by the pool table.”

“Sorry, was I interrupting your little love fest?”  I rolled my eyes and wanted to shrink away.  We didn’t need an audience, especially from the peanut gallery. 

“Soren!  Help Becca get her purse - she’s distracted by her need to annoy.”  Jay shouted up to Soren.  Soren trotted down the stairs.

“Hey Brogen.”  Soren was always so nice.  “Here’s your purse.  Let’s go.”  Soren grabbed Becca’s arm and gave a tug even though her eyes were still locked on mine.  She finally broke the stare and left with him.  Soren glanced back at us and Jay saluted a thanks toward him.

“God I hate her,”  I muttered.

“Seems mutual, what did you do to piss her off?”  Jay asked.

“Stole her man.”  He smiled and then kissed my head gently.  It made some of my tension leave.  He turned and started the movie up.  Now I had seen my share of horror movies but this one was terrifying.  By the end of it I was in Jay’s lap, he had one armed curled around me to “protect me” and the other was roaming through my hair and caressing the strands.  I honestly did not care what the one hand did as long as one held on tight to me.  The movie finally ended and I felt all jumpy and weirded out. 

“I thought you said you had some experience with horror movies?”  He teased.  The tv  changed to satellite mode and some action flick showed on the screen.  Jay left it on but turned the volume down. 

“I did.  But who the heck thinks up creepy people coming through tv sets?  I’m never going to watch a DVD or VCR tape at home again - Netflix and movie theaters for me.”  He laughed. 

“So, have you figured out where you will be this summer?  There’s only 2 more months of school.”  He let out a puff of air and pondered my question.

“I hope I’ll be here.  I’ve been thinking about what I’ll do when my dad gets out.  My aunt and uncle said I can stay with them till college,  I think that is the best plan for now.  My dad could use some time to get a job and get used to daily life without the drama of a teenager.  I’ll visit him on the weekends, but this is a stable house for me to live in while we rebuild our relationship.”  I nodded, seemed like a good plan.  “And there’s this girl who lives close by, and I really want to get to know her.  If I move away I might miss the chance to find out just how awesome she really is. “  He smiled at me and I felt my cheeks blush.  He leaned in and kissed me. 

“You’re pretty awesome yourself,”  I said with a smile.  He kissed me again and we spent the next two hours talking, laughing, and kissing.  We were two carefree teenagers at that moment.  It was the best afternoon I had ever had.  My phone beeped, interrupting our perfect bliss.  It was a text from Mom:

              -
Dinner will be ready in 20 minutes.  Please be home by then.

“I gotta’ go.”  I didn’t want to leave.  I wanted to spend the rest of forever with Jay.  He made me happy, he made me love life.

“I’ll text you later.  Thanks for spending the day with me.”  He gave me a gentle peck, took my hand, and led me upstairs.  We said a quick goodbye at the door and I headed home.  I felt 20 pounds lighter.  I had no appetite, too many butterflies filled my stomach, and I could not stop thinking about Jay.  At dinner, I knew Mom was talking to me but I couldn’t tell you what she said.  I couldn’t tell you what I ate.  I just replayed the afternoon in my head like some lovesick puppy.  Jay texted me around 9PM. 

-
I’m already missing you.

              Me too.  What are you doing tomorrow?

              -I have a report to finish.  Then I thought I might see if this hot babe is home, maybe we could go for a walk in the late afternoon.

              You have a girlfriend???!!!  Here I thought you were single.

              -You’re joking right?  YOU are the hot babe.

;>  I hoped so, glad you confirmed it.

-So, see you tomorrow.

Can’t wait.

**********

Jay picked me up around 4pm the next day.  “So, Soren and Becca...are they together now?”   Jay just shrugged.  “I mean, I keep seeing them together.”

“I’m ok if they are together, at least then she won’t bug me.  I don’t think Soren is too serious though - he’s just havin’ fun.’

“You don’t worry she’s using him to make you jealous?”

“If she is, it’s failing.  Besides, if she’s preoccupied with Soren, she’ll have less time to annoy us.”  I hadn’t considered that, but it made sense. “So, what’s the deal with your parents?  Divorced?” he asked.

“Yeah, several years ago.  Guess some hottie caught my dad’s eye and poor Mom didn’t stand a chance.  He’s actually dating Becca’s mom right now.”

“Ha!  You’re joking.”  He studied my face, “ok, maybe not... small world.”  I nodded in annoyed agreement.  “So do you see him often?”

“No, and I could care less.  I lost all respect for him when he cheated on my mom.”

“Your mom’s pretty great.  He’s an idiot to have thrown away a future with her and his daughter.”  He grabbed my hand and we headed toward the bank of the creek.  Jay searched around and collected a bunch of different rocks and gave me a small stash of them.  We sat on a decaying tree trunk and flung rocks toward the gentle creek surface.  “I’m sorry about your parents.”  I thought he might begin telling me more about his parents, but he didn’t, he focused on the creek and the rocks.

“Did your parents get along?”  He nodded. ”It must have been hard when your mom died.  I’m sorry you had to deal with that.” 

“Thanks.  It was pretty hard.  Mom was the rock of the family, she supported, loved, and cared for us.  And then she went to pull out a meatloaf for supper, and she was gone.”  My hand covered my mouth, hoping to keep my emotions silenced.  I leaned my head against his shoulder in a showing of support.  “I wonder if she would have lived longer if the doctors diagnosed her early on in life.  Would she make different choices?  Would it have mattered?”

“I don’t know.  I would hope so.  I mean with your gift of knowledge you can make different choices - surely that has to affect the odds.”  He nodded.  “I wonder if the life expectancy is greater for those that learn about VEDS at a young age?” 

Jay shook his head, “Honestly, it’s a crap shot.  I can do everything perfect and still die early or maybe live super long.  Some of it depends on how much crappy collagen is floating around me.  My collagen quality control center has a bunch of idiots so I have good and bad floating around.  So, no guarantees.”  Jay threw a rock as far as he could.  It landed down a ways with a big plop. 

“So you got your medic alert bracelet - what else do you need to do?”

“Umm, not sure really.  I know there’s a list of dangerous things to avoid.  Rollercoasters, cannonballs in the pool, contact sports…”  He stared off into space, taking a moment to mourn the things he had to let go of to ‘live more carefully’.

“But you’ve been on a rollercoaster before, and you clearly you didn’t die.  I don’t get it.”