Raspberry Kisses (The Bakery Romance Series Book 1) (19 page)

She needed to say something to calm Raven down. Raven’s erratic attitude had caused problems, especially when they were in the fourth grade. “Do you remember Jimmy Brown?”

Raven looked away, her skin reddening. “Yeah, I remember him,” she mumbled.

When they were in fourth grade, a new boy named Jimmy came to their class. He walked with a limp. He’d been mercilessly teased and Raven had a crush on Myron, the boy who’d instigated the teasing. Myron’s good looks and strong brawny manner had appealed to her sister. To get Myron’s attention, Raven had joined in the teasing. Six months later, due to excessive teasing, Jimmy had attempted suicide, swallowing an entire bottle of aspirins. His enraged parents had enrolled him in a new school.

Rhea remembered Raven’s guilt afterwards. Her crush on Myron had disappeared, and Rhea had found her crying several times. Their parents had been concerned, wondering about Raven’s mood swings. “You felt sad and guilty for a long time. You were vomiting and had to stay home sick for a few days after Jimmy tried to kill himself,” Rhea murmured.

She glanced at Raven, saw the tears streaming from her eyes. “You didn’t think about what you were doing when you teased Jimmy. You were so focused on getting Myron’s attention that your logic disappeared. Whenever you become fixated on a good-looking man, I almost feel like you lose focus about everything.”

“What’s your point?” Raven asked, her voice softening.

“My point is, let’s say if you did have the power to ruin Martin’s career, what’ll that do for you? Your actions won’t make Martin like you—he’d be upset and devastated if he didn’t get the pastorship.” She touched Raven’s cheek. “I know you, Raven. I know you better than anybody in this entire world because I’m your twin. If you caused trouble for Martin, you’d feel bad, upset, wishing that you’d kept silent. You’re not malicious, you just need to learn to stop and think about what you’re doing.”

Raven pulled her hand away, swiped the tears from her face. Rhea gave her a tissue and Raven blew her nose.

“Did you just come over here to tell me that?”

“No.” She waited a few minutes, giving Raven time to calm down. “I also wanted to ask you about the wedding dress in your closet. You seem desperate for Martin’s affection—did you buy that dress in hopes of marrying him?”

“I told you I didn’t want to talk about that dress.”

Why didn’t she want to talk about the dress? Maybe talking about it would make Raven feel better. “I wish you’d just tell me why you have it.”

Raven studied the wall for a few moments before speaking. “One of my friends was getting married, and I was a bridesmaid. When we went to the bridal shop to look for our dresses, the sales clerk showed my friend a wedding gown somebody had ordered but never picked up. She offered it at a reduced rate. My friend didn’t care for the dress, but, I loved it. I tried it on and…” She grabbed Rhea’s hand. “Oh, Rhea, it looked so beautiful. I wanted that dress.” She sighed, leaned back on the couch. “I didn’t buy it that day, but I returned a week later and purchased the dress. I didn’t want my friends to know that I was buying it without having a groom.”

She touched Raven’s arm. “When did you buy it?”

Raven winced, looking away. “It was a week after I’d met Martin.”

Rhea resisted the urge to gasp. Had Raven lost her mind?

Raven bit her lip, looked away. “Oh, Rhea. I’d only seen Martin a couple of times when I got the dress, but I just couldn’t help myself.” She grabbed Rhea’s hand. “I have a plan to be married with two kids by the time I’m thirty and time is slipping away for me...for both of us. I figured when I found the right groom, getting a dress would be one less thing for me to worry about.”

“And Martin was the right groom?” Rhea asked softly.

“Yes, oh, Rhea, he’s perfect! If only he’d pay me more attention. Maybe if I was saved, he might find the courage to date me again.”

Rhea pressed her lips together, took a deep breath. “I’d also wanted to ask you about when you ‘dated’ Martin.”

She frowned. “What do you mean?”

Rhea chose her words carefully. “He says that he was just answering your questions about God and salvation. But you said the two of you were dating. Did you exaggerate about the relationship?”

She narrowed her eyes. “Martin sure has a big mouth. Those discussions were private.” She squeezed her hands together.

“Raven, calm down.”

“Martin
liked
me. Why else would an attractive man meet with an attractive woman week after week?” She glanced at Rhea. “I saw the people from his church, those single girls that were in the ministry. None of them looked as pretty as me. He chose to spend time, alone, with
me
after those meetings. That says a lot about his feelings for me.”

Raven was not ready to accept the truth about her “relationship” with Martin.

“He was interested in your salvation. If a person is questioning God and salvation, a Christian is going to tell that person about Jesus.”

Raven sulked, folding her thin arms in front of her chest. Rhea recognized Raven’s stubborn expression—when she looked like that, there was no reasoning with her. It was best to move on to another subject and talk to her about Martin later.

Rhea dropped Raven’s hand, opening her purse. She pulled out a check. “Here’s the first payment for the loan. I really appreciate your helping me out.”

Raven accepted the check, glanced at it, before placing it on the coffee table. “How are things going in your bakery?”

Wow, she’d asked about the bakery! Raven could be so self-centered at times that she forgot to ask about the welfare of others. Her showing interest in the bakery caused Rhea’s mood to brighten. “I’ve been making some changes, and sales are picking up.” She didn’t think it was wise to remind Raven that Martin was responsible for most of those changes. “I’m going to a culinary convention later this summer to network.”

“Yes, it’d probably be good for you to meet some other people in your industry.”

They talked about the bakery for a while before Rhea yawned. “I’m tired. It’s been a long day.” She stood, leaned over, hugged Raven. “I’ll call you tomorrow to see how you’re doing.”

Raven nodded, leaned back, and closed her eyes. Rhea left the house, locking the door behind her. After she’d gotten into her car, she closed her eyes. She’d given Raven something to think about—now, hopefully her sister wouldn’t do anything stupid.

Chapter Eighteen

As soon as Rhea entered her apartment, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed Martin’s number. He answered on the first ring. “How’d it go?”

“I think I’ve convinced her to leave you alone.” She told him everything that had happened during her visit.

“So, she bought the dress because she’d thought she’d marry me?”

“She’s always jumped the gun during her relationships. I think she would’ve purchased the dress no matter whom she was dating.” She didn’t think it was wise to tell Martin that she’d proclaimed to love him after only seeing him a few times. Her sister had been through a lot, and she’d always felt that when their parents divorced, Raven had a hard time accepting their parents’ breakup. She seemed to have a strange desire to have a romantic relationship with
any
man. Could her motives be linked to what had happened to their parents? Could she be trying to regain happiness by finding a man to love? 

“Do you think so? Are you just telling yourself that to make yourself feel better?”

“I believe it. Raven just wants a groom, and she’ll take any good-looking man to whom she’s attracted.”

“Well…I hope she’s okay now.” Silence hummed over the line. Why was he so quiet? It was almost like he had more to say, but, didn’t want to tell her his full thoughts.

“Don’t worry about the dress. Raven is impulsive, and she doesn’t always think rationally. If she had not been out shopping with her friends, I doubt she would’ve bought it in the first place.”

But, was that really true? Maybe she should not have mentioned the dress in the first place. Closing her eyes, memories filtered in her mind, memories of walking into Raven’s closet and finding the wedding dress. The first person she’d told was Martin. Why had she done that? She’d told Martin before she’d even spoken to Raven about the dress.

She needed to learn to think rationally when she spoke to Martin about her sister. She didn’t want Martin to just know about Raven’s negative attributes. Her sister had some positive qualities, too, and Martin needed to understand that. “My sister has been a bit un-nerved since her accident. Can you imagine being immobile for a while? Raven loves being active.”

“If you say so.”

“I think talking about what happened when we were kids sobered her, made her see things more realistically.”

“But, what will happen when she finds out about us?”

Wow, that was a loaded question. Should she act on their attraction? She cared about Martin, she really did, but, was it wise to let him know how she felt? She still wrestled with the fact that he was a pastor. But, perhaps, she should at least let Martin know that his attraction was mutual. “I like spending time with you.” She
loved
spending time with him! Just hearing him speak on the phone made her heart leap with joy. “But, I still think about Stan and what happened to him. I still struggle about the things going on in your life.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m talking about Linda Tucker, your congregational problems. I know it’s not your fault, but, it still makes me leery. Having been a pastor’s wife, I know how stressful that can be.”

“I understand.”

Rhea slumped onto the couch. “I’m tired. I’ll call you tomorrow.” She hung up the phone, closed her eyes. What would happen if she went ahead and admitted there was more between them besides friendship?
Lord, I want to be with Martin, but, I’m struggling to understand if he’s the right person for me, Lord. I keep thinking about Stan, not sure what to do. Please give me some guidance. Amen.

*

Rhea called Raven every night, going to visit her if time allowed. Raven didn’t seem as unsettled, and she said she’d started feeling better once she started eating regularly.

Exhaustion consumed Rhea—getting up every morning, working all day at the law firm, spending hours in the bakery before and after work, and checking in on Raven was taking a toll on her.

She still thought and prayed about her feelings for Martin. Could they become more than just friends?  She still spoke with Martin sometimes in the evening, talking about her bakery. But, during these conversations, it seemed as if Martin wanted to say more, as if he were holding back.

He’d mentioned their shared attraction, but, were there reasons why Martin may not want a real relationship with her? He’d never said anything to indicate this, but, she just couldn’t shake the feeling that there may be a reason why Martin had not yet married. After all, he was a good-looking pastor, ministering to an entire congregation. His kind-hearted nature and good looks should’ve opened the doors to allow him to marry by now, right? Wasn’t he in his mid-thirties?

Would he be offended if she asked these questions? No, she couldn’t ask him about that. He’d probably think she’d be getting too personal, getting into his business.

Amidst her thoughts about Martin, she still thought about Stan. Rhea woke up the following Friday, glanced at the date on her iPhone, sighing. This day had been coming, and she’d been doing her best not to focus on it.

It was the two-year anniversary of Stan’s death.

Coincidentally, the law firm had closed that day for their annual employee appreciation picnic. Rhea had declined their invitation. She really needed to spend the day alone.

Later that morning, after Rhea had made the donuts and pastries, Candy strolled into the bakery for her shift. “Hey, Rhea.”

“Hi, Candy. Don’t forget to make Martin’s special fruit cookie recipe. We’ll probably be able to sell some of those this afternoon.”

“Sure thing, Boss.” Candy grinned, going behind the counter. “Did you ever decide on turning your bakery into a café?”

The café. That was yet another subject she’d been discussing with Martin. Placing the warm, glazed sourdough donuts in the display case, she took a deep breath. “It’s been on my mind. Do you know how hard that’s going to be, turning my bakery into a café?”

She slapped Rhea’s shoulder. “It might be fun!” Fun? Changing her bakery into a café could not be described as fun. “You just need to get used to the idea.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” She’d been mulling the idea over since Martin had suggested it, now she just needed to learn to accept the change and move forward.

Another step towards making her bakery profitable was Martin’s marketing ideas.

She grabbed the notebook containing the e-mail addresses. “If you have time, could you type these addresses into our database? Martin suggested I send out a mass e-mail for our grand opening.”

“When is our grand opening? Did you ever set a date?”

“Yes, it’s on June 21
st
. Martin has already ordered a new sign, and we’ll be getting some new tables.” She grabbed Candy’s hand. “And, if things really take off, I might even be able to give you a raise.”

Candy chuckled, her eyes sparkling. “A raise? I won’t hold my breath, but I hope that happens soon.”

The bell above the entrance dinged, and a crowd of children flooded into the bakery. Most of them were talking at the same time, creating a cacophony of noise that bounced off the walls. Rhea covered her ears. Why would such a big group of kids come to her bakery so early on a Friday morning? Nice to have the extra business, but, why couldn’t these kids quiet down?

She scanned the faces of the children. None of them looked familiar. Who were they? Approaching the register, she was about to take charge and tell them to quiet down when two young women came in behind the children. One of them placed her index finger and her thumb to her mouth, blowing an ear-piercing whistle into the air. “Quiet!”

The deafening noise settled into a gentle whisper. Thank goodness! Her ears couldn’t stand the noise much longer. The whistle-blowing woman approached the counter. “Sorry about the noise. We’re on our way home from Bible camp and our bus broke down. This was the only place open so early.”

What a mess. The kids looked like they were elementary-school aged, and several of them had already started fidgeting, as if they were restless. “Did you need some help? You’re welcome to use my phone and there’s an auto-body shop down the street, but, they don’t open until nine.”

The woman’s dark frizzy curls swayed while she shook her head. “That’s kind of you to offer, but, I already called the bus rental company and they’re sending a replacement. The replacement bus should be here in about an hour or so.” She gestured toward the kids. “We’re going to get something to eat. Everybody has their own money.”

Wow! Nice to have the extra business, but, now she wouldn’t be able to spend the day alone. She needed to place her business first, but, this was the anniversary of Stan’s death. Now she wouldn’t be able to spend the day reminiscing about her marriage.

“Candy, could you go and start some more donuts?” There was no way they’d have enough to feed this hungry crowd as well as her regular customers. Rhea poured hot coffee for the two ladies, while she waited on the children. Over the next couple of hours, she rang up several orders of donuts. She had cold cartons of milk in the refrigerator, but, she sold out of those in minutes.

She seldom had to serve so many children at once so she had not been prepared by having enough milk handy. One of the camp counselors took some of the children to the sidewalk outside. The kids bounced around. The sugar in the donuts must be making them act that way.

When their bus arrived, the children cheered, again filling the bakery with a huge racket. Once they were gone, Rhea dropped into a chair and Candy joined her, bringing two cups of hot coffee and some pastries. She took a sip of coffee before taking a huge bite of the apple pastry. Her stomach growled. She was starving! She’d forgotten all about eating this morning because of their unexpected customers. She glanced at Candy. “I wonder how much money we made this morning.”

“We probably made a lot.”

She checked her watch. In about an hour, it’d be lunch time. Should she leave the bakery and spend the rest of the day alone? No, she’d stay until they closed. If she really wanted her business to thrive, she had to make the bakery her priority.

But, what about Stan?

“Didn’t you have something you needed to do today?”

She shook her head. “Not anymore.” She needed to spend this day in the bakery with Candy, running her business.

Once they’d closed for the day, and tallied the receipts, her heart skipped when Candy revealed they’d made five hundred dollars more than their usual amount.

Energized by the day’s profit, she drove home,   showered, and dressed in a nice pair of jeans and a printed top. Memories of Stan flooded her mind when she opened her drawer, removing a bottle of Stan’s aftershave. She opened the lid and sniffed. The warm enticing scent filled her nose, and she closed her eyes. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Stan were still alive, and he was right here, in this room, holding her in his strong arms? Whimpering, she closed the bottle.

Stan wasn’t here, and these strong memories flooded her mind. She had to
do
something. She’d go to their special place. That’s what she’d do. Go to their place so that she could savor the strong memories of her husband.

After driving for an hour, she finally pulled into the parking lot of the quaint, expensive French restaurant where Stan used to take her for her birthday. Staring at the outdoor wrought-iron tables and bright yellow umbrellas, she recalled sitting there with Stan, sipping lemon spritzers, enjoying French bread, quiche, and mushroom soup.

The last time they’d eaten there, she’d turned twenty-three. The wait staff had ended their meal with a small vanilla birthday cake topped with three glowing candles. She’d blown the candles out, overwhelmed with happiness while Stan gave her a gentle smile, his large blue eyes sparkling with warmth.

He’d pulled her into his arms and hugged her, tight. Stan had always been like that, affectionate in public. He didn’t care who saw them. “You’re my wife and you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. I want everybody to know that you’re mine.” He’d whispered those words in her ear before he finally released her, cupping her chin, kissing her deeply.

She’d felt so giddy, so happy, so free. In spite of his family’s rejection and the congregation’s attitude, she found herself not caring about other people’s opinions at that moment. As they’d cut into the cake, feeding bites to one another, Rhea knew that all the trials and stuff she’d gone through were worth it. She had Stan, and that was all that mattered.

She swiped her tears away, returning to the moment. Should she go inside for a late dinner? One of the wait staff stepped onto the patio, and Rhea recognized him. She closed her eyes, sighing. No, she couldn’t make herself go in, couldn’t sit there and cry in her soup, causing worry for the wait staff.

Besides, she wasn’t hungry, not hungry for food. Hungry for time with Stan, that’s what she really wanted.

It was what she needed. Their marriage had been cut too short, and now she’d never find out what their lives would’ve been like if Stan had lived. Would she even have her bakery if Stan were alive? Would she still be first lady of his church? Would Stan have continued his pastorship? Yes, Stan had a real, true calling, a heart for God. He would’ve been a pastor for as long as he was able. She sensed her husband’s devotion.