Rawhide and Roses (20 page)

Playfully, he slid lower into the sleeping bag, pulling the zipper down to allow him easier access. His mouth and mustache made a trail down to her breasts. She moaned when he took one nipple after the other inside his mouth, taking care to brush her delicate nipples periodically with the coarse hair over his lip.

“And what about here?” His hoarse whisper came from within the sleeping bag.

“Ummm... Uh-huh, there too.”

And then he slid lower.

“Thad, no,” she breathed. “The sun’s almost up. Someone...oh, uh-huh...yeah—” She felt the prickle of his mustache against her inner thigh. “Someone could come by.” She managed to say the entire sentence in one quick breath.

“They’ve already come and gone. What about here?”

He opened her cleft and brushed his lips and mustache across her tender, swollen nub. “Wha— Who? Ahh, yeah...there, too.”

She was definitely a goner.
   
 
          

Several breathless minutes later they mutually, as well as reluctantly, decided it was time to dress and head back to the camp.

She clasped Thad’s hand and nuzzled him as they descended the small rise behind the camp. “Selfish is definitely not a word in your vocabulary, is it?” she asked, peering up into his face, teasing.

Thad stopped and then after a long, thorough look, reached down to kiss the tip of her nose. “I aim to please, ma’am.”

“You please very well, sir.” She gave him a sly grin.

“Thank you.”

They walked in silence for a few more minutes. The smell of sausage frying tickled her nose. They were getting closer to camp.

“What are we going to tell Jillie and Mack when they see us...together?” she inquired.

Thad stared straight ahead. “We don’t have to tell them anything. They already know.”

“What?” Kim stopped and turned.

“They were sneaking around looking for us early this morning. That’s what woke me.”

“And did you talk to them?”

“No, they ran off. They didn’t know I was awake.”

“I’m never going to hear the end of it. You have no idea how overbearing Jillie can be.”

Thad looked at her and grinned. “I’ve noticed. Brace yourself. We’re here. And there they are.”

Kim turned. In front of her stood Jillie, a broad smile stretched across her face. Her arms were crossed and she held a spatula in one hand. Mack stood at her side with his arm draped around her shoulders. A glance at his face revealed the same smirk.

“Well-well-well, the little lost lamb returns with the big, gruff wolf. What do you think, Mack? Do you think she cried wolf all night? Think he huffed and puffed, and—my, what is it big, bad wolves do to little lambs anyway, eat them alive?”

Mack snickered.

“Can it, Jill,” Kim interrupted. “We’ve all got the picture so you can stop now.” She wasn’t about to tell Jillie or anyone else about how bad her big, gruff wolf had been last night. The little lamb, too.

Jillie flashed her silly grin. “Okay. Anyone up to...” she flashed the spatula in the air, “breakfast? I know I’m ravished. What about the two of you?”

Kim sighed and threw Thad a helpless grin. “Yeah, I’ll help. Lead the way.”

There was no besting Jillie when she was on a roll.

****

The metal cup of coffee warmed his hands as Thad stood a bit removed from the scene, leaning against a tree near where the horses and mules were picketed. He listened to Kim laughing with Jillie as they bantered back and forth while preparing breakfast. He watched Kim, her actions infinitely more confident that a few days earlier. More relaxed.

She looked, and acted, happy to be exactly where she was. Thad smiled. He liked her here. Could she be happy with a life like this? His life was no picnic, that was sure. Compared to what he imagined her life was like, this could only get dull and monotonous after a time. She might think it exciting for a while, but what if she grew to hate it? Hate him for wanting her here? He couldn’t stand that.

It was damned difficult to admit, but she added spice to the camp, to his life, and he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to give that up.

But he couldn’t ever be sure of what she wanted, could he? Could he risk taking her into his life only to find she’d become bored over time? And it seemed, although they’d not talked about it, that she had a life waiting for her back in
Kentucky
. A job, which she obviously was good at. A family. And even though he was extremely attracted to her, felt almost lost in her, he really didn’t know her well enough to guess at what her reaction would be about leaving all those things behind.

Would she ever consider...?

There were things they’d not discussed, probably even thought of, that were going to need their attention at some point. Soon. He had no idea how he was going to broach the subject. Or if she would. But it was imminent that they would have to discuss what will happen when the trip was over. It was something he didn’t care to think about at the moment. It was the first time in a long time that he wasn’t ready to get back to the ranch.

“So you finally bit the bullet, eh?”

Mack stepped beside him, jarring his thoughts; Thad kept his gaze on Kim.

“You might say that.” He lifted the coffee cup to his lips and took a sip, feeling Mack’s gaze on him. Finally he turned to his friend. “Look, Mack. I know I’ve been a little short with you lately.”

Mack shook his head. “Forget it. What worries me now is what’s going to happen when she leaves.”

Thad tried not to show the flash of panic that stabbed his heart at Mack’s words. “When she leaves, I’ll deal with it.” He couldn’t fathom the possibility. Not yet. It was too soon. Even if he knew it was bound to happen.

Mack studied him. “And then you’re going to be hell to live with for the next twenty years or so.” He paused for a minute and Thad turned his attention back to Kim. “Do you love her?”

After a second’s hesitation, Thad broke his gaze and tossed the remainder of his coffee onto the grass. Then he looked Mack straight in the eyes. “Love? I care for her, maybe a little too much, but it’s too soon to talk about love. Let’s just see what happens, all right?”

Mack let the still silence fall between them. Thad leaned back against the tree, hoping that he would take the hint and decide to drop the subject. It was hell enough to discuss all the options in his own mind, he wasn’t ready to verbalize his thoughts. He’d waited forty years for the right woman to come along. In forty years not one had tempted him to this degree. Could he convince her that life would be worth living here in
Colorado
? With him?

“Thad, she’s good for you. Don’t let her get away. Do whatever you can to keep her. I don’t think you’ll regret it.”

Thad glanced at the ground and shook his head. “You don’t understand, do you?” After a second’s wait, he lifted his face to look at Mack. “If I had my way, I’d hog-tie her and keep her in my bed morning, noon, and night. But I can’t do that, Mack. I can’t ask her to stay. I can’t force her to stay if that’s not what she wants.”

“And how do you know she doesn’t want that?”

“I don’t. I guess I’m just preparing myself for the worst. The inevitable.”

“I think you’re waving the white flag a little too soon, here.”

“I think it’s too soon for us to speculate about any of this. She’s got a life, Mack, and it doesn’t include me.”

“Why are you so all-fire sure she doesn’t want you in it?”

Thad jerked his gaze back to the dining fly. Kim and Jillie were waving to them. That was exactly what he had to figure out. Kim Martin had seeped under his skin. He loved her. And it scared the living hell out of him that she wouldn’t love him back.

He cleared his throat. “I think breakfast is ready.” He started off.

Mack stepped beside him and they silently headed toward the camp.

As they approached the women, Thad forced any negativity out of his head. Breakfast was already on the table and as Kim smiled and patted the bench next to her, he slid in and pulled her to him, as though he needed to feel her next to him to prove that she was really there. And that she wanted him.

He placed a quick kiss on her cheek and relished in the smell of her hair, her skin, and inhaled deeply to keep her scent inside his lungs for as long as possible.
Damn, Kim, I’ll go crazy without you, please don’t leave me.

Then he released her and realized both Jillie and Mack were staring at him.

“Better eat,” he threw out in his old gruff voice. “It’s getting cold.”

Jillie arched a brow. “Forgive me for staring, Thad, it’s just that—”

“Shut up, Jillie.” Mack nudged her in the side. She tossed a quick, puzzled glance his way, took in his warning look, and then nodded. After a moment, she picked up her fork and started eating.

“Well, that’s a first.” Kim reached for the salt and pepper and grinned across the table. Thad sensed it was an attempt to lighten up what had the potential of being a tense moment. “I’ve never been able to shut her up that easily, Mack. You must have some kind of powerful secret.”

Jillie’s elbow popped Mack in the side. “If you say one word, cowboy,” she warned, “you’re a dead man.”

Mack’s surprised face caught everyone off guard, then the entire group exploded into laughter. Thad felt his shoulder and neck muscles drop into a more relaxed position as he let the laughter momentarily wash away his worries. He decided right then and there that he couldn’t fret about what was going to happen at the end of the trip, what he needed to do was concentrate on making Kim happy today. The only way to play this game was to take it one step at a time. And every step along the way was just as important as the next one.

And if the days fell into place without a hitch, then maybe she’d decide on her own to be a part of his life, forever. And that’s what it would have to be, her decision.

“So,” Mack’s voice interrupted his thoughts, “are we still heading out today?”

Thad stared across the table at Jillie, who stopped chewing her sausage in mid-bite. His gaze slid to Mack, and then he sidled a glance at Kim whose startled face reflected a bit of fear back at him.

“No,” he said in a low voice, watching Kim’s face melt. “We’ll keep the original schedule.” He paused for a moment, the same melancholy feelings from earlier returning, difficult for him to shake. “I’m not ready to push out of here yet.”

Kim’s lips parted slightly and he watched her tongue flick away a crumb of biscuit from her lip. “Good,” she said softly. “That’s real good.”

****

A fine gray mist settled over the trail two days later as she rode quietly behind Thad. Their two days had been filled with lazy mornings, afternoons exploring the mountains and even the
Fremont
expedition site, and nights filled with endless lovemaking. Kim had grown to crave Thad’s touch, the warmth of his body, the scent of his skin. They’d become inseparable. The only thing that put a hint of a damper on their togetherness, was her imminent departure. They never discussed it. The days were like a fairy-tale and she hadn’t wanted to burst the fantasy bubble. She refused to talk about leaving him. She knew it had to be done, but it was a thought she kept pushing further back into her brain.

The rushing waters of the waterfall had filled her ears for some time, so she’d anticipated its presence for a while, but nothing had prepared for the spectacular sight as Thad’s horse, then hers, broke into a clearing.

Tiny stones and larger rocks and boulders, tumbled and smoothed by the rushing waters of time, bordered the edge of the mountain creek. Pooled into a deep hole, which looked perfect for fishing or swimming. Water spewed off the mountain, cascading into the cradle of rock, creating a picture perfect scene for any photographer.

Kim walked Sunshine next to Thad’s horse. “I wish I’d brought my camera,” she whispered. “This is...incredible.”

It was difficult to pull her gaze away from the sight, but she did, feeling Thad staring at her. “I can bring you back anytime you want,” he softly returned.

Kim searched his serious face.
Will there be a next time?
it seemed to ask. “I would like that.”

His stony facade broke into a slight grin. Kim was relieved. It was a mystery what was going on in that man’s head. One minute he was carefree as a bird, the next, stone-faced as a statue. And each time he looked at her like he was memorizing every nuance of her face, her heart tripped a beat, and she was a little frightened.

Thad dismounted and reached up to help her off her horse. “There’s a great lookout over here, if you care to climb a little.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

He took her hand in his and led her away from the pooled water and up a small rocky incline. After a while, he dropped her hand so they could each gain balance to maneuver around the boulders and rocks jutting out from the mountain. It wasn’t too hard a climb, but when they reached the top, she was glad for a breather.

Thad pulled her up the last few feet.

She smiled. “Whew! That was a little climb!”

“Yeah, but it’s worth it. See.” He pulled her into his side and pointed her away from the mountain.