Razing Kayne (8 page)

Joe turned his back to feed the rope through one of the eyes on the front of the fire
truck, intending to use it as a makeshift pulley

“The baby’s under my jacket!”

Before Joe could respond, the scene exploded into a fireball.

Mother of God!

Joe froze for several heartbeats, unable to believe what he was witnessing. Vehicles
exploding on an accident scene were Hollywood myth. It rarely happened. Yet what was
left of the car was
fully engulfed, and Jarred lay in a fetal position, against the rock wall, unconscious.
A huge chunk of burning debris covered his legs and lower back.

Joe barked orders, even as he grabbed a medic bag, ready to plunge over the edge.
He glanced up at the sound of squealing tires. Cody Johnson
.
Cody could command the scene from up top and get them the hell out once Joe had
Jarred
ready to move—he wasn't fucking waiting around for equipment. With a salute of acknowledgment,
Joe bailed over the edge to save a brother.

Joe fought to free Jarred from the debris. His heavy-duty fire turnouts had been ripped
by shrapnel from the explosion. Third degree burns and blood covered most of his back
and legs. But the baby, the perfect little baby, was unharmed. Jarred had curled himself
around her, sheltering her with his body.

With the help from the crew of a second engine company, Joe was able to get both Jarred
and the baby packaged to travel and top-side in a matter of minutes.

Jarred coded as they loaded him in the ambulance, but they brought him back. “The
baby?” he panted between moans of agony.

“She's fine. You saved her. Just relax.”

Jarred nodded once.

Joe glanced at Cody as he rechecked Jarred's vitals. Joe slammed fluids in as fast
as the large bore IV would let him, to partially compensate for the extensive blood
Jarred was losing.

“Did someone go get Jess?” He wasn't willing to say it out loud, but Jarred's odds
weren't good.

Before Cody could answer, Jarred said, “No. Don't let her see me like this. Tell her...”
He paused, gasping through a wave of pain. “Tell her…I'm so sorry I wasn't a better
husband—”

“
Whoa.
Tell her your goddamned self. You're not going anywhere!” Joe was not letting Jarred
give up. Not yet.

Jarred ignored him.
“Had a fight.
Asked for Divorce.
Tried to love her; never meant to hurt her. Want her to be happy. Tell her...find
someone...who deserves her. Not someone...
like
us.” Jarred made eye contact with Cody.

And yeah, Cody was an alley cat who'd had the hots for Jess since high school. Everyone
knew it, but Jarred had been the one to win her heart.

“Ha! You stick around you son of a bitch, or I swear I'll make a play for her the
moment you're gone,” Cody said.

Jarred flipped him off, a tight smile tugging the corner of his lips. “
Someone  else
...at...accident...didn't see...only heard...ran—” Jarred struggled to put words together,
but they made little sense. His voice trailed off, and then so did his vitals.

Jarred coded a second time as they pulled up to the emergency entrance. They offloaded
him, wheeling him through the doors, Joe straddling his body and doing chest compressions.
Cody rattled off a status report while he worked the ventilator mask in time with
the compressions. They wheeled him past the nurse’s station and a hysterical Jessica.
Jess wasn't stupid—if she'd been standing there any length of time, she'd heard their
inbound report and knew this wasn't his first code.
Goddamnit!

By the time Joe handed off compressions to a trauma nurse, Cody was already standing
outside the room consoling Jess. After Cody's threat in the ambulance, seeing him
holding Jess pissed Joe off, but he said nothing, and, a moment later, Jess moved
away from Cody and into
his
arms. She'd always been like a little sister to him, and he could feel her heart
breaking as they stood there watching.
Waiting.
How could Jarred have treated this wonderful, gentle woman so badly?

Several minutes later, one of the nurses shouted, “He's back!”

“When can that whirly-bird fly?” Dr. Mark Oberly demanded. Because of the storm, the
helicopter had been grounded. The closest trauma and burn center was more than a two
hour drive in an ambulance, and Jarred didn't stand a chance of making that trip.

“They’re saying four to six hours
minimum
. And yes, they know it's one of ours,” the nurse said.

“Pansy-ass-motherfuckers.
This weather is nothing like what we flew through in A-stan,” Dr. Oberly muttered.

After a string of curses that echoed Joe's own thoughts, the doctor barked orders,
requisitioning blood, prescribing medications, dictating surgical instruments, and
calling for an operating room. “Okay boys and girls, these wounds are no different
than those we saw sustained from an I.E.D.
So
...we're gonna do the dirty work and let the city boys pretty him up later. A dozen
faces turned to the doctor with expressions that left no room to doubt they thought
he'd lost his mind. Payson's hospital wasn’t equipped to deal with Jarred's injures,
but Mark was. And those who'd ever served in the military knew that being prepared
to improvise, adapt, and overcome created survivors.

A woman shoved her way forward, snapping on gloves. “Five years as a trauma nurse
at Lennox Hill—where do you need me?”

Joe couldn’t remember her name. She'd only been in town a few weeks, and Joe had only
ever said a word or two to her, but in that moment, he fell a little bit in love.

Two others—the on-duty anesthesiologist and a male nurse—stepped forward, both ex-military
too
.
The rest of the staff quietly backed out, refusing to meet anyone's gaze. Joe knew
he shouldn't be angry, but, God, if this had been their husband or brother lying there,
they'd do everything they could, to hell with the consequences.

“Jessica?” A nurse walked up, holding the still-crying baby who was now wrapped in
a blanket. “I need to go help Dr. Mark. Will you watch the baby? She checked out fine.
Just needs to be held.”

Jess, who'd been one step shy of a hysterical meltdown, reached for the baby automatically.
She immediately started rocking her, comforting her, and in the process, comforting
herself. Joe had been about to protest, but realized the nurse knew what she was doing.
Jess needed something to focus on other than Jarred. The baby, who'd been crying non-stop
since they'd put her in the second ambulance, took one look at Jess, curled up against
her chest, and fell asleep, one tiny fist resting over Jess's heart.

“Joe! I need another set of hands. Get your ass in here!” Mark shouted.

Joe rushed forward, thankful to be in the action instead of on the sidelines, because
Mark hadn't been the only one who'd served in the Middle East.

After hours of balls-to-the-wall surgery, watching Mark pull every goddamned hat-trick
he knew, and inventing a few he'd never dared before, Dr. Mark Oberly made one of
the toughest calls of his career.

“Time of death?” he asked.

A nurse read off the time.

Sunrise.

A time meant for beginnings.

***

Kayne watched the emotions play across Joe's face as he finished his story. Finally,
Joe turned to Kayne and said, “I was with Jarred in the ambulance that night. His
final wish was for her to
find someone who deserved her.” He pinned Kayne with a silent challenge which said
far more than Cody's belligerent threats.
If you're not good enough, leave her the hell alone.

With that, Joe walked away.

Which is exactly what Kayne needed to do with Jessica.
Walk away. God knew he sure as hell wasn't good enough.
But good God.
Gracie, who looked so much like his deceased daughter, was an infant found at an
accident scene about the time
his
infant
disappeared. Was he crazy to even imagine the possibility?

EIGHT

Wednesday went by without a word from Jessica, then Thursday, and still nothing. Kayne
tried to convince himself he was happy about her distance. After all, he'd made the
decision to stay away from her. But damn if he didn't feel like he'd lost something
important. He liked her. He felt drawn to her, which was dangerous for both of them.
It took everything in him to not turn into her driveway every time he passed by her
house, which he
did several times during an average shift
.

He'd enjoyed spending time with her kids too, he admitted. Sure it made him feel raw,
rubbed over wounds that would never heal, but try as he might, he couldn't get them
off his mind.
Gracie especially.
And he'd done some checking. With Arizona's sealed records laws, he only had two
ways to find out who Gracie really was. One involved cops and lawyers and a court
and him looking like a fool—a crazy one at that—or the other option was spending time
with Jessica and trying to learn about Gracie's past that way.

Deep down, he knew it was crazy to hold out hope that Tasha was still alive after
all this time, or that he'd accidentally stumbled upon her. But his mind wouldn't
let the possibility go. So, when Friday afternoon rolled around and Jess still hadn't
tried to contact him, Kayne threw in the towel. He'd have to be the one to make a
move.

Twenty minutes later, Kayne pulled onto the cobblestone drive, circled the fountain,
and parked in front of the three-story mansion that served as both an event center
and a residence for Jessica and her children. Seeing the white tent as he drove in
reminded him that Jessica was catering some type of brunch tomorrow.

He hadn’t taken time to appreciate the house the last time he was here, and he did
so now. The place was truly beautiful with its granite façade and battlement topped
towers. It sat in a large meadow atop a slight rise, surrounded by native flowers
and vegetation. While a place like this could never fit in to a small town like Payson,
the builders had done everything they could to make it blend in with the landscape.

Gracie and Isabelle answered the door moments after Kayne rang the bell. “Kayne, Kayne!
Up, up up
!
”

He dutifully picked Gracie up hugging her close, feeling his lungs expand,
drawing
in his first full breath in days.
“Hey, ‘Sabella.”
He smiled, crouching to her level. He gently brushed his hand across her baby fine
hair and kissed her forehead. “Where's Mama?” He was surprised they'd answered the
door alone.

“I'm right here.” Jessica stood in the edge of the shadows, a phone to her ear.

“Mind if I come in?” The fact that he was already in the foyer made it kind of a moot
point. Still, he felt he should ask.

“I'm kind of busy.” She sounded angry. He probably deserved that after the way he'd
treated her Tuesday.

Before he could say anything, she tuned back into her phone conversation. “Yes, I'm
still here.” She listened for a moment, and then the conversation became heated. Perhaps
some of her anger wasn't directed at him. That was good, right?

“That's just not going to work.” She paused. “I use you guys because you don't make
these types of mistakes. I have to have the stuff
tonight.
No, I will
not
accept a credit!”

When
Maddy walked up and leaned into his side, Kayne hugged her. Damn, he was going to
have to talk to Jessica about how friendly her kids were with strangers. “What's going
on?”

“A food delivery got lost, and
it's
stuff Mama needs for the brunch tomorrow.”

“Obviously I'm gonna have to drive down and pick it up. Can someone have it ready
when I get there?” Jess asked. There was another long pause. “There’s no way I can
make it by five, especially through rush hour. Someone’s going to have to wait around.
This is your mistake after all.”

Go Jessica.
He liked her fiery side. It was so much better than what he’d witnessed Tuesday.
Kayne looked down at Maddy
.
“Where is this place?”

“South Phoenix. I only ever went once. Uncle Cody was supposed to go and get stuff,
but got called to a fire, so Mama ended up having to go and took us with her.”

Kayne's hackles went up at Maddy’s mention of the belligerent hose-monkey.

“Maddy, take everyone upstairs to get their shoes on,” Jessica whispered.

Maddy nodded. She eyed Gracie, who’d wrapped her little arms around Kayne’s neck,
then walked away shaking her head. “I’ll bring her shoes down.”

Jessica made a comical mad face at Gracie, who giggled in response. “No, I'm still
here. I know where it is. You have the list in front of you, right? You can have it
all ready? Okay, I'm on my way.”

Jessica ended the call and blew out a heavy sigh. “Kayne, I'm sorry, I really have
to go. My assistant is sick and so is Polly. I have to find a babysitter for tomorrow
morning, and now these idiots didn't process my order, so I have to drive clear down
to...” She paused then rattled off an address.

“Whoa! First off, you are
not
going down to that neighborhood by yourself after dark.” It was a bad part of Phoenix
even in broad daylight.

“I don't have a choice! Besides, I know how to take care of myself.”

“Yes, you do, but you're still not going. Give me the address and the keys. You can
stay here and do the other things you need to. And forget about a babysitter. I'll
watch the kids tomorrow.”

“I don't
need
your help. I don't
want
it!”

“Gracie, go ask Maddy to change you. I smell a wet diaper.” Kayne sat the toddler
down.

Gracie wrinkled her nose in disgust and scampered off.

Once he was sure they were alone, Kayne turned to Jessica. “I'm sorry about the other
day. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“I just...it was...I didn't think about it being the exact same place, and then I
saw the firemen...and for a second, I thought…” She shrugged helplessly.

“I
know,
short-stuff. I'm so sorry the deputy let you through.” Kayne understood what she
was trying to say. She'd seen one of the firemen and thought, for just one second
in
time,
she was seeing Jarred standing there. He'd done it a hundred times himself.
Caught a glimpse of someone with the same hair color, or some other feature as Oksana
or one of his kids.
Every time, his chest would constrict and butterflies would ricochet through his
gut before logic took hold. His
heart would lodge in his throat, knowing he'd held their dead bodies, and buried them
in the ground side by side. Hell, he felt it every time he saw Gracie. Gracie, the
reason he was here.

***

Jess nodded and looked away. Crap she wanted to be mad at him. She wanted to tell
him to quit wasting his time and leave her the hell alone before he broke her heart.
Which she knew from experience was exactly what someone like him would do.

“I know you don't need my help, but I'd like to help.”

Jess had surmised that Kayne was lonely. It seemed he'd isolated himself from the
world after his family died. Who could blame him? She knew firsthand what it felt
like to lose someone who mattered so much that the pain never went away.

As the week passed, and she hadn't heard from him though, she got angry. Then she
was glad, because she really didn't want anyone in her life, even a little bit. She
hated that she would find herself thinking about him, or
turn
the scanner up a little bit louder when she knew he was working. She'd picked up
the phone a dozen times to call, but thankfully stopped herself in time.

“Do you have stuff to do while I'm gone, or would you like to ride along?”

“I have so much to do.” She had no idea how she was going to get everything done,
even without having to go to Phoenix.
Especially with the kids under foot.
This wasn’t the time to have Polly and her assistant sick.

As if reading her mind, Kayne said, “I’ll take the kids. You work on what you need
to here.”

“Kayne, I can't ask you to do that.”

“You didn't, I offered. I want to.”

“Please be careful with them.” She’d worry about her children no matter who they were
with.

“Never doubt that I'd give my life, without hesitation, to keep them safe.”

Jess read the sincerity and determination in Kayne’s eyes and truly believed he meant
every word. She helped get the kids ready and out the door. Once alone in her kitchen,
her thoughts traveled a dark road. She knew the death of his children ate at his soul.
She could see the failure he felt in his eyes. Jessica laid her hand over her now
useless womb. She of all people knew what it felt like to lose the most precious person
in life.

“Hey, you okay?”

Jess gasped and spun around. She hadn't heard Kayne walk back in.
With Maddy by his side, no less.
God, how long had he been standing there?

“What's wrong?” she asked skirting his question.

Kayne studied her for a moment through slightly narrowed eyes. “Maddy wants to stay
and help, is that okay?”

Jess squinted at her daughter. “You don't want to go?”

Maddy shook her head.

Jess wondered what was going on, but figured she'd find out once it was just the two
of them. “Go put your shoes up and get an old shirt on.”

Maddy nodded and took off.

Or she could ask Kayne. “What’s going on?”

“She just wants you to herself. She says it rarely happens.”

Now that she thought about it, Jess couldn’t remember the last time she’d spent alone
with Maddy. “I know Kayne, it's—”

Kayne stopped her by placing a finger over her mouth. “Shh. I'm not judging. ” He
trailed that finger over her lips, caressed her check with the back of his knuckles.
Forget butterflies, there was a convention of Samba dancers in her stomach.

“I'm simply telling you what's on her mind.” He pushed her hair back and placed a
soft kiss on her temple. “I think you're a wonderful mom,” he said, his lips brushing
her cheek. “You're doing a great job.”

Then he kissed first one corner, then the other, of her mouth. And finally, oh God,
finally
his lips touched hers. A gentle back and forth caress first, and then he settled
his lips on hers. He shaped the kiss, his lips firm and full, warm and moist. His
lips grew bolder as she opened beneath them.

He pulled back for a moment, those knuckles caressing her cheek again as he searched
her face.
Before she could gather her thoughts, his lips descended again, this time all but
devouring her.
Shocked by a heat she'd never felt before, she put up no resistance. A firestorm
tore through her body, singeing everything in its path. She moaned when her nipples
puckered painfully hard and felt a deep growl rumble through his chest in response.

Kayne wove his fingers though her hair, cradled the back of her head, and deepened
the kiss, sucking every drop of breath out of her already deprived lungs. His tongue
caressed her lips before plunging deep to mate with hers, coaxing her to respond.
She did so willingly.

She'd never responded this way to Jarred.
Jarred never kissed you like this.

“God, Jessica, I—”

Kayne never finished the thought. As suddenly as he'd taken her in his arms, he let
go. He took a huge step back, putting the counter between them, still gasping for
breath as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. It took a second to realize
Maddy was whistling as she came bounding down the back stairs.

Good heavens! What was wrong with her? She'd forgotten Maddy was in the house, and
the other children were waiting in the Tahoe. She'd forgotten everything but Kayne.

“You girls have fun.” Kayne paused at the door, raking lust-filled eyes across Jess's
body. Hello, were the damn ovens on already? Talk about spontaneous combustion.

***

Kayne shook his head in disbelief. What had he been thinking? More like, what had
he been thinking with? He'd only intended to chase those dark shadows from Jessica’s
eyes, and he'd ended up mere moments away from fucking her right there on the kitchen
counter. In fact, if Maddy had taken another five minutes, she might have walked in
on the crescendo, he'd been that close to losing control.

He could not afford that type of involvement. He had nothing to give her.
Them
, he amended, glancing in the rear-view mirror.

God, he was driving down the highway with a Tahoe full of kids, listening to a children's
hip-hop sing-along CD. Gracie was kicking the back of his seat to the beat of the
music and loudly singing off-key. Ash played a hand-held video game, and Isabelle
was talking to her imaginary friend, who Kayne had learned was
always
buckled into the front passenger seat before they left the garage. He took a deep
breath and slowly let it out.