Reach For the Spy (13 page)

“What, darlin’?”

I brushed my lips
against his ear. “I want that hot, sexy musician I saw onstage.
Playing his guitar with those fabulous hands.”

The hands in question
slid under my T-shirt and lifted it over my head, then drifted down
to unfasten my jeans.

“Playing his harmonica
with those yummy lips. And that amazing tongue.”

He knelt as he slid my
jeans down my legs. When I stepped out of them, I got the full
benefit of the lips-and-tongue combo tracing up the inside of my
thigh. I gasped, eyes half-closing, but he stood and kissed me
deeply and unhurriedly.

“Ya wanna have a
musician tonight, darlin’, ya gotta take time to listen to the
music. I’m gonna give it to ya slow an’ easy.”

The exhausted stress
eased from my body while we moved gradually toward the bed,
shedding clothes. He lowered me onto it, and I reached to pull him
down to me. “You have the sexiest voice. Sing to me.”

He stretched out beside
me. His gifted hands played my body lazily while he leaned close to
sing, and I shivered when I recognized Bob Seger’s ‘Fine Memory’.
His rough-edged voice caressed my ears while his sensuous stroking
melted my aching muscles into warm honey.

He finished the song
and gazed down at me, his face softened by the mellow light. He
kissed me again before his lips trailed down my throat to my
breast. I gave myself to his hands and mouth, letting the hot,
sweet tension build.

I caught my breath and
arched against him as one of his hands glided downward. His adept
fingers stroked and circled. The light of the lamp took on a rosy
glow. My body began to move of its own volition under his touch
while my mind emptied of everything but blissful sensation.
Breathless little moans escaped me while I poised luxuriously on
the edge, taking my time, deliciously anticipating...

My phone rang.

I let out a despairing
cry. “Oh, Jesus, no!”

“Ignore it,” Arnie
rasped.

“Fuck, I can’t.” I
whimpered and reached for the phone. “If it’s Kane, I have to pick
up.”

Hellhound’s lips
trailed down my body, and I shuddered with desperate need as I
checked the call display. Kane.

“Shit!” I pressed the
Talk button. “Hello?”

“Aydan, how quickly can
you get to Sirius?”

I did a quick mental
calculation. “Seven minutes.”

“Do it. Sooner if you
can.”

“On my way.”

Hellhound was already
gathering up my clothes and handing them to me. “I’m sorry,” I
panted miserably as I pulled on my underwear.

“It’s okay, darlin’. I
know ya gotta go.”

I yanked on my jeans
and T-shirt. “Next time, I want the big bad biker. And I want that
orgasm in two minutes or less. Screw this leisurely shit.
Goddammit.”

He laughed and kissed
me as I shoved my feet into my shoes. “Ya got it, darlin’.” He held
my face in his hands for a second. “Be safe.”

“Thanks.” I kissed him
quickly and slipped out the door.

I ran down the stairs
and finished tucking in my T-shirt as I arrived in the lobby.
Striding across the open space, I snatched my hairbrush out of my
waist pouch and yanked it through my tousled hair. Stuffing the
brush back into my pouch, I shot a hurried glance at my watch. I
might make it to Sirius in less than seven minutes.

As I looked up, I
caught a glimpse of Bill Harks in the office.

Shit!

I shot out the front
door before he could make his way around the reception desk. A
short jog to my car, and I jumped in and hit the gas.

My mind raced wildly on
the short drive, my shoulders climbing up around my ears. I blew
out a breath and tried to calm down.

Silver linings. Thank
God I’d been with Hellhound. I couldn’t imagine trying to explain
to Tom, or any other man for that matter, why I would leap out of
bed and run away seconds before achieving orgasm. Glorious,
head-banging orgasm. Goddamn it to hell!

I charged up the stairs
at Sirius, and the security guard had my fob ready before I was
half-way across the lobby.

“Go,” he snapped. “I’ll
fill in the sign-up sheet.”

“Thanks.”

I jittered in the
time-delay chamber while my breath came too fast. My muscles
quivered in knots and I had to remind myself yet again to unclench
my fists when my fingers started to ache.

When the door released,
I flew down the stairs, too wound up to even notice the
claustrophobia. I hurtled down the hallway and skidded to a halt at
Spider’s lab.

“What is it? What’s
wrong?” I demanded at the sight of two strained faces.

Kane’s normally even
voice was tight. “We need you to decrypt another document as fast
as you can. We think one of our agents has been captured.”

Agent captured.
Nightmare memories flooded my mind. Kane handed me the network key,
and I flung myself into the chair. “Where’s the file?”

“Same file room,”
Spider said tensely.

I closed my eyes on the
sight of his white face and dove into the void.

My feet slithered in
the blood that coated the virtual corridor. A battered,
unidentifiable man dangled from chained wrists, gurgling blood from
a ravaged face. The stench of burned human flesh filled the air. A
barrage of bullets shredded a naked man, tissue and body fluids
spraying out in slow motion. Mangled, partially dissected hands
reached for me in crippled supplication.

I ignored Spider’s
strangled cry and skated through the gore to the file room.

I slammed the door shut
on the hell outside and tracked bloody footprints over to the
desk.

“Aydan?” Kane’s voice
was cautious.

“Yeah.” I dropped into
the chair, already reading the first few lines of the file.

“Are you okay?”

“This is another one of
those letters and numbers things. Here’s the first of it.”

“Sorry, you’ll have to
go a little slower. I can’t work as fast as Webb.”

I looked up from the
file. “Where’s Spider? He was just there a second ago.”

Kane’s voice was grim.
“He just ran down the hall puking his guts out.”

My heart smote me. “Oh,
no, poor Spider. Nobody should have to see that shit.”

“You had to.” His voice
sounded weary and angry.

I took a deep, unsteady
breath. “Yeah. Just tell him it was a sim, that it wasn’t
real.”

“I’ll tell him. Are you
really okay?”

I gulped down the
nausea and horror and focused on the file in my violently trembling
hands. “Here’s the next line.”

When I reached the end
of the document at last, I paused. “Spider, go for a walk.”

“What?” he
quavered.

He had returned to take
over the transcription duties from Kane, but he was clearly still
in a fragile state. I intended to get out of the network as quickly
as possible, but I didn’t want to take a chance on the memories or
monsters my brain might offer up on the way.

“Go for a walk. Now.
Don’t come back until Kane tells you.” I kept my burning eyes
focused on the document, reading and re-reading the last line.

Kane’s voice. “He’s
gone.”

“Good. Here’s the last
line.”

I laid the document
down and immediately folded sim-space to get to the portal.

I wasn’t quite fast
enough.

The cage clamped around
me with brutal efficiency as the horrors of the corridor surrounded
me again. I jerked and twisted in animal terror, my screams rising
above the other sounds of torment. The bars thickened, blotting out
light while they squeezed tighter. My heartbeat thudded impossibly
fast in my ears. My cries faded to shallow wheezing as the iron
coffin crushed the air from my lungs.

Blindness and deafening
noise overtook me, and I ceased to comprehend anything but
agony.

I had air in my lungs
again. The better to scream with, my dear. My throat tore while my
body convulsed with unspeakable pain. I flailed blindly and
helplessly, trying without thought to batter my head against
something, anything to end the torment.

At last, the pain
abated enough for awareness to return. I felt Kane’s arms around
me, but their strength recalled the constricting cage. I cried out
and began to struggle anew. I still couldn’t open my eyes. Hysteria
erupted when his arms tightened.

Speech and vision
returned simultaneously. I thrashed in Kane’s grip, shrieking,
“Let-me-go-let-me-go-
let-me-go!
”

His eyes widened in
comprehension as his arms flew open. I scrambled across the floor
away from him on hands and knees, my wild panting whistling in my
throat.

“Aydan, calm down.
Breathe.” Kane’s voice was deep and reassuring, and he made no
attempt to approach me. “Slow down. Breathe with me. In. Out. Nice
and slow.”

I gasped a few more
breaths and then clamped down hard, imposing my yoga breathing. It
helped, but adrenaline pumped unabated into my bloodstream from a
full-blown panic attack. I hadn’t had one of those in years. I
grappled for control.

“I have to get out.”
The harsh voice sounded nothing like me.

“Go.” Kane stepped back
to give me a clear shot at the door, and I took it like a sprinter
off the blocks. I heard his feet pounding behind me while I took
the stairs two at a time.

In the time-delay
chamber, he flattened himself unmoving against the opposite wall to
give me space. My knuckles glowed incandescent while I gripped the
door handle. I realized I was rocking compulsively in time to my
whimpers, and I managed to shut up and stand still just before the
door finally released.

I strode jerkily to the
security wicket, fumbling with my fob. Kane’s warm hands gently
pushed my stiff, shaking fingers aside to unfasten it and place it
in the tray at the security wicket along with his own.

“Sign us out,” he said,
and the guard nodded as we turned away.

Hurrying outside onto
the deserted sidewalk, I took a deep breath. Another. I stood rigid
and trembling, fighting my internal battle for a few seconds before
the panic won out.

I launched myself into
crazed flight. My feet pounded on the sidewalk, the rapid footfalls
echoing back from the silent storefronts. Kane shouted my name, the
sound of his running feet thudding behind me.

I pelted for the tiny
park again, sobbing for air. Tears scalded my face, but I couldn’t
stop them. At the edge of the park, Kane caught up to run beside me
as I faltered.

“Aydan, stop,” he
commanded.

With the remains of my
rational mind, I tried to obey, but my body was driven beyond
reason. My breath wailed in my throat. My feet wouldn’t stop.

A few yards into the
park, Kane’s arms wrapped around me and we crashed to the ground.
He released me immediately and I lay gasping, unable to suck air
into my lungs quickly enough. My body jerked with the desperate
struggle for oxygen. The triphammer beat of my heart pounded in my
temples.

I dimly realized Kane
was holding my wrist again. A distant part of my mind laughed
through my tears. Good luck with that. Unless he kept an electronic
defibrillator in his back pocket, taking my pulse wasn’t going to
help anything.

Maybe I passed out, or
I might have just lost track of time. Eventually my battle for air
eased into helpless sobs. Unable to summon the energy to stop
crying or even to move, I sprawled on the ground weeping
uncontrollably and utterly humiliated. In the darkness, Kane gently
stroked my hair over and over.

At last I regained
enough control to gulp back the mortifying tears. Thank God for the
darkness. At least he hadn’t actually seen me bawling my eyes out.
Maybe I could pretend I’d just been struggling to regain my
breath.

“Aydan.” His voice was
soft. “Can you sit up?”

I groaned. “Just leave
me here. Maybe by morning I’ll be ready to move.”

“You have two choices.
You can try to sit up now, or else I’ll call the ambulance.”

I groaned again and
flopped over onto my back. “You’re a cruel man.” I tried to drag my
trembling body upright.

“Is it all right if I
help you?” His voice was cautious.

“Yeah, it’s okay. I’m
done freaking out now.”

God, this was
embarrassing.

He put a strong arm
behind my shoulders and half-lifted me into sitting position. I
sighed. To hell with pride. I slumped against his chest and slid my
arms around him. Just taking a little comfort.

After a moment, his
arms closed around me and he held me lightly. His lips moved
against my hair. “I’ll talk to Stemp again. We’ll figure something
out. It’ll be okay.”

We sat in silence for a
time.

Finally, I took a deep
breath. “Sorry about that.” I pushed myself away from him and
tottered to my feet.

Kane stood with me.
When my knees wobbled, he wrapped an arm around my waist to steady
me. “You have nothing to apologize for,” he said as we trudged
together back to the sidewalk. “I’m sorry I had to yank you out of
the network again and cause you so much pain.”

“It’s okay. I’m not
sure if I would have made it out on my own. I’m glad you did.”

I tripped over my
leaden feet, and he caught me again. Then he scooped me up in his
arms and carried me along the sidewalk.

“Put me down,” I
hissed. “You can’t carry me all the way back to Sirius.”

“Is that a bet?”

“No! It’s a command.
Put me down!”

He set my feet on the
ground. “All right. But someday you should learn to accept
help.”

I sighed and
concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. “Please
leave me with an illusion of competence. I’m feeling a little
inadequate at the moment.”

“No one will think less
of you if you’re not under complete control every second.”

“I will.”