Reaching for My Angel [The Royal Wolves 5] (Siren Publishing Allure) (2 page)

While Ben knew that the chances, statistically speaking, of finding a mate was just that side of slim, the fact that Laz, Mik, and Janos all had found theirs made him…well, nervous, quite frankly. They’d found their mates by chance, through fate, by happenstance, the luck of the draw or whatever damned term one wanted to place on it. The fact was they had their mates while Ben on the other hand had been actively looking and had not had a single ounce of luck. Hell, he was so damned unlucky that the four women he thought might be his mate had all ended up dead after one date. Not exactly a glowing recommendation for going out with him.

Changing lanes with a quick glance, he sighed. It wasn’t that he wasn’t thrilled for his brothers, he was. They had their mates, something every Wolf wanted, needed and yearned for no matter who they were or the life that they happened to lead. But it was seriously screwing with his sleep when all he could do upon closing his eyes was worry all night long.

Would he ever find the woman meant to be his? Was she even on the same continent, let alone in the same state as he was? What if she wasn’t even born yet? Or, and this was the real nightmare that had him jerking awake in the wee hours of the morning with his heart pounding, what if she had already lived her life and he’d missed his one and only shot?

Pulling into his spot at the side of the bookstore, Ben turned off the engine and sat staring out the windshield. His greatest nightmare, the biggest fear he had, and the very real possibility was eating him alive from the inside out. Ever since Laz and Des had mated the thought he’d never find his mate was a constant ache in his gut, the fear his new and seemingly permanent companion. While he was holding out a small amount of hope he’d find the woman for him, he was also he’d recently realized, beginning to resign himself to never finding her.

Sliding out of the car, he grabbed his briefcase, laptop, and almost-empty travel mug. Pushing the door shut he frowned as he realized that there was a large truck at the loading dock. The engine was idling which meant it was either just getting there or just leaving. God he hoped it was leaving. Heading inside he locked the door behind him and greeted one of the girls that worked for him.

“Morning, Mr. F.” Heather, a nineteen year old resident of the town smiled as she set the box in her hands down on the counter.

“Delivery taking longer than normal?” he asked, putting his briefcase and laptop behind the counter out of the way before shucking off his jacket and folding it over his arm.

“No, well”—Heather grinned—“not really. Our regular driver quit so they had to pull someone else in off a different route. We’re just a hair behind schedule is all, but we’ve been busting our asses.”

“Damn,” Ben muttered as he looked at his watch. “How much longer do you figure it’s going to take?” he asked as he did a quick calculation. By the town bylaws the big rigs that brought in his shipments were only allowed on the streets at certain times, and they were damned close to getting a fine. Ten minutes close to be exact.

Heather was going to say something but stopped when Carl, another resident that did stock for Ben came in and passed over the clipboard with the order checklist clamped to it. “We’re all done, Mr. F,” he told him. “Driver’s just locking down the door and pulling out.”

“All right then,” Ben said with an internal sigh of relief as he looked over the list, seeing everything had been properly documented. “I’ll be in the back if you two want to start shifting around the main display so we can put out the new books.” At their nods he snagged his travel mug and headed for the back and his office. Dropping his jacket in his office, he quickly hit the staff room and refilled his mug before going into the storage bay. Nearing the back roll up door he came to a sudden halt as a scent tickled at his nose.

Turning slowly he frowned at the ball cap sitting on top of a crate next to the controls for the roll-up door. Picking it up he caught the same clean and tart scent of tropical fruit. “Must be the driver’s,” Carl commented from behind him on his way past. Nodding, Ben set it aside with a thoughtful look and a mental note to let the shipping company know that the newest driver for his store had likely left it behind if they happened to be looking for it.

* * * *

She had cut it far too close. She hated to be in the city at this time of the morning since it made driving a big rig even more challenging than it already was. She hated New York. No, correction, she hated that she was in a big rig in the city. She actually loved the city, but hated to do her job in it.

Pulling the radio handset down, she clicked the button and said, “Farmer Jane here, doing a smokey check on I-9er.” She had a small home outside of the city in a very small town called Valley Stream and it was time for her to have some time off. This last load was the last one she had for a while.

“All clear, Janey. Hurry back to us, Farmer, we are going to miss you at the Pilot Stations!” came the voice of Tenner Henry.

“Thanks, Tenner. I will be back, when I have found myself.” Evan, or Evangeline as her momma named her, had no need to work now. Just after getting rid of the loser ex of hers she hit the Powerball lottery and now was a millionaire three hundred seventy five times over. She would miss Tenner, though. He was one of the only people that called her Janey, saying that she was all woman and shouldn’t have a man’s moniker for a nickname. Instead he called her Janey, in reference to the last part of her first name. She hadn’t simply quit however. Nope, she ran all her loads and even took on the last minute one because Knight Transportation had been damn good to her, even going so far as to helping her pay for her divorce from the ass and even firing him when he beat the shit out of her on company property.

“Take it easy, Janey, we all will miss you,” he said just before he clicked off and left Evan to her thoughts. She touched her head and frowned. “Now where the hell did that go?” she asked and brushed her hand through the short black locks. Evangeline Farmer was not the typical truck driver. She was small, her Asian heritage showing in the dark, almost blue-black hair, her olive complexion, her almond-shaped brown eyes, and her height of just over five foot one inches.

She sighed and shook her head. “Oh well, I guess that I can find it in me to actually let my hair grow.” It was cut short to her head.
He
had always liked her to have very long hair, but as soon as her divorce was final, she had actually shaved it all off.

“Yeah, I guess I got issues,” she said with a smile as she moved through the gears and was very soon on the final stretch to her home.

* * * *

Finally home, Ben dropped his briefcase and set his laptop down as he locked down the house. Padding through he stripped down as he went tossing all his clothes into the hamper in his room. Deciding to grab a quick shower before bed, he went into the bathroom and groaned as the hot water pounded at his aching muscles. His brothers always claimed he had the cushiest of jobs since he owned the bookstores he ran, but they weren’t the ones that had to haul around five hundred pounds of books in a day.

Ten minutes later, feeling warm and sleepy, he slid into his bed with a happy sigh. Tugging up the blankets he rolled onto his stomach and idly scratched at the only scar on his body, the large four inch and angry looking gouge on his lower back near his spine. Most wounds healed on a Wolf, but that one had been particularly bad and, though there was no medical reason for it, it itched from time to time. Pulling his pillow closer he let his eyes close and slid into sleep praying as he did that he’d get an undisturbed night for once, just once.

Her eyes opened. She was in her small house and in her bed but she knew she was dreaming. “This is unusual,” she whispered as she felt the pound of the waterfall against her skin as she tread water in the crystal-clear lake. “I haven’t had a dream of swimming in years.” She breathed but swam for the shore. It was the oddest thing, to be in a dream this realistic.

She saw the man, or she thought it was a man, at the edge of the lake and swam toward him, her eyes watching everything, uncertain as to why she would be having such a vivid dream.

Turning, Ben saw what he would have sworn was a water nymph and blinked. Well hot damn, this was definitely better than his normal nightmares, or so he hoped it would end better. Moving to the water’s edge, he crouched and watched her moving toward him slowly. “Hello there,” he said gently afraid that if he said too much, too loudly he’d shatter the pleasant dream.

“Hello to you, too.” She paused at a rocky outcropping and placed her strong arms there. “I would pull out of the water but I don’t want you to blush.” She winked at him and then shrugged. “Then again, this is my dream, so why not?” With the move of an athlete she pulled herself out of the water and sat on the large flat rock and leaned back, allowing the sun to kiss her skin and dry her.

Tongue-tied, Ben stared at her and slowly started to smile as his brain clicked back on and figured out just what was going on. Here he had been pushing to find his mate and, through pure luck, she was now here. “I’m Benedek, by the way,” he told her. “Figure the least I could do is introduce myself since you’re naked and all that.”

She shrugged and grinned. “It doesn’t matter, as much as I would like to have this dream more than once I can only do it once. I’ve never been able to have the same dream twice ever in my life.” She sighed and then grinned up at him. “But I am Evangeline, but everyone calls me Evan.”

Crouching down he eased to sit at her side. “A pleasure, Evangeline,” he said softly, enjoying the way her name rolled off his lips. “Pretty name for a delightfully lovely woman,” he told her with a smile. “Tell me about yourself, Evangeline, anything and everything will do for a start.”

“Not too much to tell.” Why she had given her name to her own figment of her imagination was beyond her. “I love to swim. This was the place I would swim as a child. I think I was ten maybe when I found this place a mile and half from my home in Tennessee. It was my sanctuary, my haven.”

Looking around, Ben smiled. “It’s a very lovely place, restful and serene,” he agreed closing his eyes to listen to the water and the birds in the distant trees. “I can see why you would want to come here,” he said as he looked back to her. “If I had a place such as this I doubt you’d get me to leave.” Leaning closer he winked. “Or you could try, but I’d kick and scream the whole way.”

She got a hooded look over her eyes, the pain was there and bright only a moment before she was able to tamp it down and nod. “Yeah, it is lovely.” And she hadn’t been there in far too long. Maybe it was time to go back, time to forget about the things that happened there and try to recapture the feeling of peace that she had now. “And what about you, Benedek, tell me about yourself?” She was curious what kind of man her mind would come up for her to dream about.

He’d seen the pain and reached out to gently stroke her dark hair gently. “Not much to tell,” he said softly. “I have four brothers, one older and three younger that are the bane of my existence,” he told her with a smile, his love for his family in his voice. “I run a small bookstore chain and am a onetime only published author, nothing too exciting really.” He chuckled. “But it gives me somewhere to go during the day at least,” he said with a shrug moving his hand over her hair once more enjoying the slight spring to it, and the smooth cool texture.

“It must be nice, having a family you could turn to in the time of crisis or need.” Her eyes closed as he stroked his hands along her hair, the feelings that he invoked making her feel more at ease and at peace than she ever had before. “I very much like this dream, Benedek. I wish that I would have it more than this once because I don’t think that one time will be enough for me.” Too bad really, because it would have to be.

“They are a boon when I need them,” he agreed with a smile. “They are annoying and they do drive me to wonder why I haven’t killed them all some days, but they are also amazing.” Moving his hand to the back of her neck, he gently massaged her tense muscles slowly. “If you think of me, maybe I’ll be here again,” he said with a smile leaning over to press a kiss to her shoulder. He really wished that he could tell her that he was her mate and she was his and that they’d have many more dreams together, but he couldn’t, he didn’t want to scare her off.

“Don’t leave me yet?” she asked as she shot her hand out to touch him. “I don’t want the dream to end yet, please?” She moved so that she could be closer to him and touching more of him than her hand. “I know that you are a figment of my imagination, but I want to keep you, if only for tonight, Benedek?” Because men simply weren’t as wonderful as this one was, fifteen years of marriage told her that clearly. Men simply weren’t sweet, kind, and giving like Ben Farkos seemed to be. They weren’t incredible and sweet, they weren’t open and loving. Right?

Pulling her into his lap to face him, he ran his hands up and down her bare back. Leaning in he kissed her cheek. “I’ll stay as long as you want me to, Evangeline,” he promised. Nibbling along her skin he licked at the shell of her ear before lightly blowing at it. Smiling as she shivered slightly, he stroked her spine with light fingers. “You can keep me forever if you want, honey,” he told her honestly.

“If only you were real,” she murmured as her hands moved over the strong muscles of his shoulders and arms. “I can’t believe that you are a bookstore owner.” Then again, it was her dream so he could be all nice and buff and drop dead gorgeous and still be a bookstore owner. “I would keep you for all time if I could, Benedek.” Her head fell back as his mouth moved along and down her neck. She shuddered in his arms as she gasped for air.