Read, Write, Love (Love in Bloom: The Remingtons, Book 5) Contemporary Romance (21 page)

Jenna’s face came into view, head-to-head with Bella’s above Leanna. “Isn’t that what we worked so hard for? This is good, right?”

Amy’s face joined the others, head tilting first one way, then the other. “Sweetie? Did something happen with Kurt? What’s going on? What can we do?”

Leanna sat up, parting the wall of concerned faces like the Red Sea. Amy handed her a glass of wine, then handed one to each of the others. Leanna looked at the glass, hoping that somewhere in the sweet liquid was a remedy to her hurting heart—and knowing that all the wine in the world wouldn’t help. She handed the glass back to Amy and fell back on the bed again—eyes slammed tight.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Bella said. “Ames, can you please take these?” They handed Amy their glasses.

Leanna felt her strong hand on her left arm, and Jenna’s on her right, as they dragged her to an upright position. Pepper stood sentinel at Leanna’s feet, barking at the others.

 “Guess we’re doing walk therapy, huh?” Amy took the glasses to the kitchen as Bella and Jenna brought Leanna to her feet and dragged her out to the deck.

They waited for Amy, who returned with Leanna’s sandals, and she took ahold of Pepper’s leash. They walked down the gravel road arm in arm.

“Spill,” Bella directed.

Leanna let out a loud breath. “You know I’m supposed to move in with Kurt in New York on Monday.” A lump formed in her throat.

“Right. Got it,” Bella said. “And?”

“And Daisy Chain wants to carry my stuff everywhere, which is great, but they want me to remain local. To keep up with the distribution, I have to pretty much work year-round, but that means working here year-round, and if I do that, then I can’t be with Kurt, and—” Her eyes filled with tears as they passed the pool and headed back up the hill toward her cottage. “And if I can’t have Kurt…”

“Honey, why can’t you have Kurt if you work?” Amy’s voice was filled with compassion.

“Because. He’s not going to upend his perfect, organized life in New York and live on the Cape. What’s in the Cape during the winter? Snow? Ice? It’s desolate, and he’s a family guy. I told you about the interviews.” Jenna made a
tsk
sound. “This is a dilemma. What does Kurt say?”

Leanna bit her lower lip. Jenna had spoken her worst fear. She’d said aloud what Leanna couldn’t force herself to, because doing so would make the words—and the meaning of them—seem more real.

“You haven’t told him?” Jenna exchanged a worried look with Bella. “Leanna, you have to tell him. Monday is only a few days away.”

Leanna’s gut clenched again. “Don’t you think I know that?” She didn’t mean to raise her voice. “I want to be there. And I want to be here.”

Tony came out of his cottage wearing nothing but a pair of board shorts and a rich tan. “Hey, girls.” He stood with his hands on his hips as they approached, taking in each of their worried faces. His smile faded quickly.

“Uh-oh. What’s happened?” He fell in line beside Amy.

“She got the Daisy Chain contract,” Amy explained.

“But she might lose Kurt because she needs to be here and he needs to be in New York,” Jenna added.

Tony pressed his smiling lips into a firm line and cleared his throat while muffling a laugh. “She’s not going to lose
Oh God, Kurt
.”

Leanna glared at each of the women.

“We didn’t say anything. I swear it,” Amy protested.

“Not a word,” Jenna added.

“Your window was wide open, Leanna.” Tony shook his head. “It’s not like I haven’t heard people having sex before.”

“Oh my God.” Leanna stopped walking and looked up at the sky. “Please, just shoot me down right here, right now. Spare me any more indignity. Please!”

“Don’t worry. I deleted it from my memory banks just now,” Tony assured her. “Although I was happy for you. I don’t think I’ve ever heard your cottage rockin’. Now, Bella’s, that’s another story.”

“A girl’s gotta live,” Bella quipped.

“You guys, this is serious. What should I do?” They arrived at Leanna’s cottage and settled in around the table on her deck. Leanna buried her face in her hands. Pepper put his paws on her lap and panted at her until she reached down and stroked his fur. She couldn’t even look at him without thinking of Kurt.

Who am I kidding? I can’t breathe without thinking of Kurt
.

Tony clasped his hands behind his head and leaned back. Amy’s eyes slid to his broad chest and the waves of muscles covering his midsection. Jenna kicked her under the table.

“You’re overthinking this, Leanna.” Tony leaned across the table and touched her hand. “Call Kurt. Talk to him. You two will figure it out. Plenty of couples have long-distance relationships, and New York is a short flight from P-town.”

“He has a point.” Jenna brushed a few grains of sand from the table. “And you know, in many ways, seeing a guy on weekends might be better than living together. You won’t get sick of each other.”

“I highly doubt I’d ever get sick of Kurt. He’s so…” She contemplated how to sum him up in one word.

“Hot?” Bella asked.

“Loving?” Amy suggested.

“Attentive? Good in bed? Intelligent?” Jenna bumped Leanna playfully with her shoulder.

“How about normal? Does a guy really have to be all those things all the time?” Tony set his eyes on Leanna’s until she met his gaze. “He’s a bestselling author, so yeah, he’s probably pretty intelligent. He treats you well, from what I’ve heard, and he’s definitely attentive in all the right places. Although I’m pretending that I didn’t actually
hear
that. You all think he’s handsome, so I take your word on that. He’s not my type, as I like breasts and a vagina, but you know, hey, whatever.” He held his palms up toward the sky. “Seriously, Leanna. If what I’m told is right, and you love Kurt the way you said you did the other night, then call him.”

“Call him.” Leanna set her palms on the table and used her most serious voice. “Okay. How would you react if your boyfriend—or girlfriend—committed to living with you, then called and said,
Hey, you know that promise? That plan we made? Guess what? I’m really sorry, but I got this great job offer to fulfill my dream, and now you either have to change your entire life for me, or we’re going to see each other on a once-in-a-while basis?
” She sat back and crossed her arms. “See? Not exactly loving, is it?”

Bella rolled her eyes. “So you don’t say it that way.” She waved her hand in the air and spoke in a higher tone. “
Hey, babe. It’s me. I got a great offer from Daisy Chain that’s too good to pass up, but I’d have to be at the Cape full-time. Maybe we should talk about it?
Better?”

“Much,” Amy said. “What about this?
I got this great offer, but I don’t want to lose you, either. Maybe we can figure this out together?
”

Bella leaned across the table and pointed at Amy. “Even better. Nice addition.”

Leanna shook her head. “Maybe you guys can make the call for me.”

They talked for another twenty minutes, until they’d beaten the subject and hypothetical outcomes to death. Amy took Pepper back to her cottage to give Leanna privacy. Leanna gathered her belongings from Bella’s and from her van, then went into her cottage with her heart in her throat and called Kurt.

IT HAD BEEN almost two hours since Kurt texted Leanna, and he took that as a good sign that her meeting was going well. It was a cool, sunny day in Colorado, and Kurt was enjoying visiting with his family and the Bradens, even though seeing everyone paired off made him long for Leanna. Now he stood by the split-rail fence at the edge of the yard watching Hal Braden down by the barn with Treat and Max and his horse Hope.

Rex joined him and leaned his elbows on the fence, watching his father. Rex, like all of the men, had shed his suit coat and wore his dress shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His bulging forearms twitched as he wrung his hands together.

“Dad and Hope,” Rex said with a shake of his head. He looked up at Kurt. “I think we see them as a couple, like me and Jade, or Treat and Max.”

“The horse?”

“Yeah. Dad bought that horse for my mom when she first became ill. She loved that horse so much, and after she died, I swear my dad began talking to Hope like my mom’s inside her somewhere.”

Kurt cocked his head in question.

“Yeah, I know.” Rex pulled a necklace from beneath his shirt and rubbed it between his fingers and thumb. “I always thought Dad was a little
off
for doing that, but now? I’m not so sure. It sure feels like Mom’s around, especially when I’m near Hope.” Rex leaned his hip against the fence and crossed his arms. He wore his thick black hair longer than his brothers, like Sage preferred to wear his, brushing his collar. His powerful, broad frame reminded Kurt of Hal, and when he narrowed his dark eyes, the resemblance was uncanny.

“Do you miss Leanna?”

Kurt half smiled, half laughed. “Look around.” He drew his eyes to Dex and Ellie, standing arm in arm, then slid them to Jack and Savannah, kissing by the buffet table. Jack ran his finger down Savannah’s cheek, and she leaned forward and kissed him. “Hard not to miss her.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” Rex pointed to Jade standing beside Lacy and Riley, his brother’s girlfriends. “I can’t stand to be away from Jade for more than a few hours. Overnight? Forget it. That woman’s got my heart wrapped around her so tightly that some days I worry about what I’d do if something happened to her.” He clenched his jaw, then shifted positions and looked at his father by the barn again. “Then I understand where Dad’s coming from. Have you ever felt that way? Do you feel that way about Leanna?”

Kurt mulled over the question. He’d been away from Leanna for a day, and he had no idea how he’d make it until tomorrow, much less Monday. He couldn’t imagine his life without her. He leaned his arms on the fence and exhaled loudly. Talking about feelings wasn’t something he was used to doing, but Rex made it look so easy, and feel so right, that the words came easily.

“To be honest, until Leanna, I never felt much for a woman. My life was about writing, and family of course, but that goes without saying. I don’t know about the whole spiritual connection thing, mostly because I’ve never really thought about it. But as far as Leanna goes? I think about her every second.” He smiled. “Boy, do I ever. She’s gotten under my skin. I want her with me even when she talks incessantly and barely takes a breath.” He looked at Rex. “So yeah, I guess I do feel that way. I’m going on thirty-one and have never lived with a woman, well, besides my sister, of course.  I have no idea if I’ll drive her crazy or what, but I do know that I can’t wait to have her with me every day.”

“That’s love, man. It grabs you by the balls and doesn’t let go.” Rex stood up and put a hand on Kurt’s back. “There’s no greater feeling. Even when the shit hits the fan, it’s still worth every blessed second.”

Kurt’s phone rang, and he pulled it from his pocket. “It’s Leanna.”

“Go ahead, man,” Rex said. “Talk to her. We’ll catch up later.”

He watched Rex approach Jade from behind, place his hands on her hips, and kiss her shoulder. Kurt walked toward the front yard as he answered Leanna’s call.

“Hey, babe. How did it go?” He climbed the porch steps, thankful for the privacy.

“Hi. Wanna FaceTime?”

“Yeah, sure.” A few seconds later, her lovely face—and worried eyes—filled the screen.

The look in her eyes tugged on his heart. He wished he were there with her, holding her, easing whatever disappointment she was feeling. 

“Uh-oh. What happened?”

“Are you in a place where you can talk, or is your family right there?”

Something in her voice brought him to his feet and caused his gut to clench. He descended the porch steps and walked at a fast pace toward the driveway, feeling the need to move. He didn’t know why his legs propelled him forward, and he didn’t question it. He trusted his instincts and continued walking.

“I’m alone.”

“Okay.” She bit her lower lip, and he breathed a little harder.

“Babe? What is it?”

Her eyes filled with tears, and he froze. He stood on the side of the road staring at his phone and feeling completely impotent. “Leanna?”

She wiped her eyes. “I’m okay. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Tell me what’s going on.” He held the phone in both hands and watched her wiping her eyes and taking deep breaths. He caught glimpses of her kitchen behind her as the phone shifted with her movements. At least she was home safely.

“Take your time, babe. Take a deep breath.” What the hell was going on? His heart hammered against his ribs with worry. Every muscle tensed.

“The meeting went well.” She wiped her eyes again.

“Okay. Good.”
But?

“They want to carry my products in all their stores.”

“That’s fantastic, so those are tears of joy?”
Why don’t they feel like that?

She shook her head.

Shit
.

“They want me to remain local, and in order to fulfill the distribution to the stores, I’d really need to be here full-time.” She pressed her lips together in a tight line.

“Full-time.” His heart sank.

She nodded.

“Why? I don’t understand. Can’t you get another facility in New York and continue there in the fall and winter? Or work from my house? Our house?”

She shook her head. “They want to support local businesses, and they said if I prefer not to remain local, they’d rather not carry the products because they don’t really need another jam distributor, but they would welcome another local business to support.”

So it’s me or your business
. It was a shitty position for her to be in, and he could see from her watery eyes, the wrinkles along her forehead, and the way her lips turned down at the edges that the weight of it was too much for her to bear. Kurt had his career. He had his well-planned and enjoyable life that ran smooth as butter in New York. How could he ask her to give up the chance at having all of that herself?

He couldn’t.

He wouldn’t.

“Well, is this what you want?”

Tears tumbled down her cheeks as she shook her head. “I don’t know. I finally found something that I really love doing, something that resonates with me on every level—and then I found you. I love you, Kurt, and
you
resonate with me on every level.” She laughed through her tears and covered her face with her hand. “This is par for my crazy, fucked-up life.” She lowered her hand and he studied her hooded, red-rimmed eyes.

All he wanted to do was ease her pain, and he knew there was only one way to do that. He knew how much she loved him. Every word she spoke was laced with love. Every glance of her hazel eyes bathed him in her warm emotions, and her heart—her glorious, generous heart—brought forth feelings he never knew he was capable of feeling. He had to do what she might not be strong enough to.

“Your life isn’t crazy or fucked up.”
This situation is.
“It’s okay, Leanna. We can still make this work, if that’s what you want.”

“Yes. I want you. I want us.” She nodded and swiped at her tears. “But how?”

“We do whatever it takes. This is your chance, Leanna. You’ve found the thing that you were searching for, and with you, I found what I never knew I was missing. So, no matter how hard it is, we make it work. You’ll stay at the Cape and do all the things you should be doing to build the business you’ve been working so hard to create. I’ll stay in New York and commute to the Cape every chance I get. It’ll take some coordinating, but we can do this.”

Even if I hate it.

Even if I’ll barely be able to think past the empty side of the bed where you should be.

Even if I miss you like a phantom limb.

“We can? You’re sure?”

“Unless it’s not what you want. You tell me, babe. I want you to be happy.”
And I hope to hell you want me.

The worry slipped from her eyes, and the edges of her lips curled up. “I want us on every level, so if that means weekends, then yes.”

It had taken Kurt only a few days to fall head over heels in love with Leanna, and it took less than ten minutes for that love—and their new decision about their living arrangements—to rip his heart to shreds. He let out a breath and pressed his hand to the dull pain in his chest.

“I love you. We’ll make it work.” The sounds of laughter carried in the air. Laughter. He felt like his life was crashing down around him, and he couldn’t lean on anyone for support. He wouldn’t ruin their good time with his troubles. And there was no way he’d let Leanna feel bad at a time when she should be over the moon about her new endeavor. Weekends. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. He could write without interruption during the week and make the best of his time with Leanna. He tried to convince himself that this was okay, that he could live with it.

“I don’t want you to worry. Just…celebrate. This is your time, Leanna. Go out with the girls and know we’ll be just fine. I’m not going anywhere.”
Except, apparently, to Cape Cod every weekend
. Kurt began calculating drive times, flight times, and how much time they’d actually have together each weekend.

Not nearly enough.

It would never be enough
.