Real Men Don't Quit (11 page)

“Is that why you were so grumpy that night at the bookstore?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. You didn’t deserve me snapping at you. I just don’t want you reading stuff I’m not proud of.”

“But what about your sequel? Everyone’s expecting you to write another Kingsley Jeffers book.”

He leaned back and threaded his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, well, for the moment I’ve decided to take a break from writing.”

She drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. Beneath the tumbling red hair, her face was oyster white. “So you’re leaving?”

The hitch in her voice made him glance up. Did she sound forlorn at the thought of his leaving? He quickly shook his head. “No, not yet. I’m just going to take things easy for a week or so.”

“I see.” Her tense figure seemed to relax momentarily.

“I thought you could borrow my car to get to work.” Her eyes widened, giving her the appearance of a startled bush baby. “I don’t need it much,” he continued. “So you may as well use it until you get yours fixed. Unless it already is?”

“No, it isn’t, and thank you. That’s very generous of you,” she said faintly. Then she cleared her throat. “I’m not sure when I’ll have enough money to get my rust bucket fixed. I had a setback today.” She gestured toward the coffee table where he saw an elaborate necklace worked in sterling silver and heavily encrusted with semiprecious gems.

“That’s the piece Crystal Kerrigan commissioned, isn’t it?”

“Huh, that’s what I thought, too.” She proceeded to tell him about her visit to Crystal Kerrigan that afternoon, and by the time she was finished, her fingernails were digging into her knees.

“That’s outrageous,” he fumed. “Could you take her to court?”

“It wouldn’t be worth the trouble and expense. I don’t have much cash as it is.”

He drew in a breath and leaned forward. “Tyler, I can—”

“Don’t.” She glowered at him. “Don’t you dare offer me money.”

“It would just be a loan—”

“No. I won’t take your money!” Stormy cobalt eyes flashed a warning at him. “I can take care of Chloe by myself. I don’t need any help.”

Where had this sprung from? He studied her carefully, noting the dark smudges beneath her eyes, the faint tremble in her stubborn chin. He’d never seen her like this; she seemed so…vulnerable. Shifting closer to her, he took her hand. “Tyler, what’s up? Did something else happen this afternoon?”

Her fingers were cold and stiff in his, but she didn’t pull away. She gazed at him for a while before saying, “I ran into my mother at my aunt’s place. She doesn’t show up very often, but whenever she does she manages to get under my skin. This time, she suggested I wasn’t up to looking after Chloe and that I should ask Gretchen for help. She said there was no shame in that, just being practical.” She drew in a deep, quivering breath. “Practical! Yeah, I bet she found it practical to dump me in foster care when she couldn’t be bothered with me anymore.”

Luke squeezed her hand, wishing he could siphon off some of the long-buried anguish she was feeling. “What happened to you in foster care? Were you abused, neglected?” His imagination went into overdrive.

But she shook her head. “No, nothing like that. My caretakers were mostly okay, I guess, but I never wanted to be with them. I was always giving them a hard time, running off whenever I could. I went through several homes before Aunt Daphne came and rescued me.” Her face took on a passionate determination. “I’ll never do that to Chloe. I’ll never give her up just because it’s too hard.”

The ferocity in her face made his heart contract.

“No one’s going to take Chloe from you,” he assured her. By now her fingers were crushing his with the force of her emotions. “I, for one, wouldn’t dare to take you on with that savage snarl on your face. It’d be like trying to steal a tiger cub from its mother.”

She blinked, and a slow, wry smile curved her lips. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”

“Anytime you need a cheer squad, just holler over the fence.”

Her iron grip on his fingers eased, her body relaxed, and he became aware that they were sitting next to each other, holding hands, and they were alone and in harmony. It seemed the perfect opportunity to kiss her. He turned to face her and saw the same thought must have hit her. He could see it in the glimmer of her eyes, in the way she moistened her lips with her tongue, and in the warmth of her body as she leaned toward him. He hadn’t come here to kiss her. Before knocking on her door, he’d had very solid reasons why he wasn’t going to kiss Tyler, but now, as he gazed at her, all those reasons flew from his brain, and the only thing he knew was that a gorgeous woman wanted to kiss him.

She shifted into his arms, fluid and inviting. Her blue eyes seemed to eat him up, and then their lips met, and her mouth was hot and moist and exciting. Logic sizzled away to be replaced by just one primitive idea:
yes
. As he intensified the kiss, she shimmied into his lap and slipped her arms around his neck.
Yes
. Lust, reined in for so long, roared in his veins. He ran his hands up and down her back, kissing her madly, drinking in the taste and smell of her, enjoying the tiny moans escaping from her. He slid his tongue deep into her mouth and felt her immediate response.
Yes. Oh God, yes
.

Grasping her thighs, he hitched her more firmly on his lap, relishing the heat of her body radiating through her thin cotton leggings. As she lifted her head, he caught a glimpse of her face gloriously flushed with arousal. Her radiance took his breath away, but, with dousing clarity, he knew he had to halt this before it got out of control. After confiding in him, she was vulnerable and emotional, and to take advantage of her now would be so wrong.

He rested his hands on her shoulders, figuring that was the least erogenous area of her body, and held her at arm’s length. “Tyler,” he gulped, “we’d better stop.”

Her eyes had that sensuous, drugged look, and her mouth was luscious as chocolate. “Why?” she said in a husky, come-hither murmur. “We’re keeping to the rules. Nothing below the neck and our clothes are still on.”

“Not for much longer.” Beneath the loose T-shirt, her shoulders were round and smooth, making him want to rip off the T-shirt and nibble at her. Who knew shoulders could be so sexy? Clamping his teeth, he dropped his hands to his sides. “We both know a few high-school kisses aren’t going to satisfy us.”

She leaned back, and he had to stifle a groan of frustration as she pressed against his lap. Slowly she trailed her hand down the front of his shirt, letting her fingernails catch at the buttons. “And what exactly will satisfy you?” she purred, her voice so smoking hot his jeans almost caught on fire.

He swallowed, mesmerized by her languorous exploration of his chest. Jeez, the things he wanted to do with her… “Maybe I shouldn’t answer that or you might take fright.”

Her chuckle sent tingles down his spine. “I don’t take fright easily.”

He could believe that. His mouth moistened, and his brain threatened to dissolve into mush. With the last remnants of his self-control, he forced himself to say, “Sweetheart, I didn’t come over here tonight hoping to end up in your bed. In fact, I was determined not to kiss you at all.”

She pursed her lips and frowned at him. “Why not? Last time I checked there wasn’t anything wrong with my breath.”

He tried not to smile. “There’s nothing wrong with your breath, or your body. The opposite really, as you well know.”

“Then why?”

“You’re all stirred up because of your mother. I’d be a heel to cash in on the situation.”

“Seriously? You think I’m too emotional to know my own mind?”

“Well, maybe not…but there’s more.” Christ, doing the right thing was harder than it seemed. “Uh, do you mind getting off?” He allowed himself to pat her thigh. “It’s a little difficult thinking straight when your gorgeous butt is flirting with my groin.”

She yanked herself off him as if he were a hot stove. “Okay, what gives?” She folded her arms, sounding frustrated now. “I thought we’d decided on light and casual.”

Light and casual? Who was she kidding? Pushing to his feet, he attempted to readjust his jeans as she continued to glower at him. “This is going to sound dated and strange, but I want to behave honorably toward you. I’ve only known you a short time, but I like you, Tyler, a lot. You’ve become…important to me. I value our friendship, and I don’t want to mess it up by falling into bed with you.”

“How exactly would that mess it up?” she asked, a dangerous glint in her eyes.

“Because falling into bed always messes things up, at least in my experience.”

She tossed back her hair. “You need some different experiences, then.”

“You may be right.” He couldn’t help smiling, but then he sobered up. “Can you honestly say sex wouldn’t complicate things between us? I’m only going to be here for a few more weeks. When I’m gone I want to keep in touch with you. You and Chloe. Even though I might be on the other side of the world, I want to know what’s going on in your lives. Wouldn’t it be harder to do that if we’d been sharing a bed?”

She tilted her head as she licked her lips thoughtfully. “Boy, you sure have a high opinion of yourself.”

“Huh?”

Her eyes flashed like blue lightning. “You’re so convinced that if I have sex with you, I’ll fall madly in love with you and won’t be able to bear you leaving.”

“Uh, no, I don’t think—”

“Just because Jennifer Kruger lost her marbles over you doesn’t mean I will.”

He frowned as the old, familiar guilt kicked at him. “So you know about her.”

“Sure.” She flicked back her hair. “It may come as a surprise to you, but I
am
capable of enjoying orgasms without becoming emotionally attached to my bed partner.”

The thought of Tyler enjoying an orgasm made his blood roar. It deprived his brain of oxygen, which was probably why he couldn’t think of a snappy answer. “That’s good to know,” he said lamely.

“Yes, it is.” She pressed her arms stiffly against her sides, hands balled into fists. “I know how to protect myself, and I’m not just talking about condoms.”

His head was swimming now as all his blood rushed south. “Okay, you’ve convinced me.” He reached for her hand. “All this talk of orgasms and condoms has got me raring to go.”

She stepped back, her chin tilted up. “Nuh-uh. It’s too late to sweet talk me now. You want to keep things between us platonic? Well, you got it.”

“I…I changed my mind.” For Pete’s sake, she was turning him into a desperate teenager, begging for sex.

“But you’re right. Sex can get messy. I’m not saying it’ll mess us up, but we don’t want to take that chance, do we?”

Now she was using his own words against him, dammit. He’d thought he had the situation under control, but somehow Tyler had gained the upper hand. But he’d be damned if he let everything go her way. A minute ago she’d been raring to drag him into bed; he just had to get her back into that frame of mind.

“I felt the way you kissed me just now,” he drawled, allowing his gaze to wander over her curves. “And the way your butt was wriggling about in my lap. Are you sure it’s so easy to keep your appetite in check?” As she hesitated and licked her lips, he knew he was getting to her.

She rubbed her hand up and down the length of her thigh. “I, uh, I can take care of that myself.”

He shut his eyes briefly. Oh boy, she was killing him. When he opened his eyes, he saw she was still looking headstrong. They had reached an impasse, and maybe she had more sense than he did right now. Luke made himself breathe in and out slowly, trying to lower his blood pressure. “This is crazy, right?”

“It’s one of the weirdest conversations I’ve had in ages,” she admitted with a smile, her stance relaxing.

“Every conversation with you is an adventure. I never know where I’m going to end up.”

“Me too.” She gave a throaty laugh that once again interfered with his breathing. Slowly she sobered. “I’m glad you’re back. Next time, I hope you’ll tell me personally before you leave.”

He acknowledged her gentle rebuke with a grimace. It wasn’t the note that bothered him as much as his reason for leaving. He’d left because the pressure had become too much, but that was a coward’s way out, and he wouldn’t repeat it. In the near future he’d be departing again, this time for good, but when he did, he wanted to go without untidy loose ends behind him. He wanted to go with a clear conscience.

“You got it,” he said.

…

After Luke had left, Tyler dropped back onto the couch and picked up the book he’d bought her. Her blood was still thrumming from his caresses, and the taste of him lingered on her lips. She’d been a fool not to take him to bed, the hum in her body complained. After missing him for three full days, the sight of him on her doorstep had turned her insides to marshmallow, and at his first kiss she’d turned to putty.

Luke was sneaking under her defenses, making her forget her rules and priorities, and if she didn’t watch out she’d end up with some serious damage. That couldn’t happen. They were friends, and probably she wouldn’t be able to resist kissing him again, but that was all that would happen. She’d keep him away from her bed until he left. It wouldn’t be long; how hard could it be to resist him until then?

The memory of his lean, masculine body rubbing against her and his tongue doing sinful things to her mouth gave her the answer. It would be damned hard, but she had to be strong. When he left, Chloe would be hurt, but at least he’d keep in touch like he’d promised. They’d still have his friendship, as long as she didn’t ruin that friendship by expecting more.

She opened the book and started reading.

Chapter Nine

On Monday afternoon, Tyler finally tricked Ally into visiting a bridal shop by pretending they had to inspect some new coffee cups for the store. Once in the mall, she whisked Ally inside and announced they weren’t leaving until she’d picked a bridal gown. Her friend almost tried to bolt, but Tyler could be dictatorial when necessary, and Ally, subdued, grumpily agreed to try on some dresses.

“You’re going to your wedding, not your funeral,” Tyler said as Ally shuffled out of the changing room, shoulders drooping in a white tulle gown.

At first Ally glumly inspected herself in the mirror, but after a few moments she straightened up and inspected her reflection from different angles. “This one’s not too bad, is it?”

“It has potential. Now try on the others.”

Ally obeyed, and as the dresses changed, she perked up and started enjoying herself. Eventually she decided on a simple, sleeveless gown that flattered her figure. “It’s not too plain, is it? I want Nate to be proud of me.”

“Nate wouldn’t care if you showed up in your pajamas. He just wants to make you his wife.”

An all-too-familiar, misty look came over Ally. “I’m so lucky to have him. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.”

“Yes, he’s a real dreamboat. Now, are you sure about that wedding dress?”

“Mm-hmm,” Ally murmured, still dewy-eyed.

She had it bad, Tyler mused. But at least she had fallen for a great guy. Nate would be thrilled that the wedding gown had been purchased, and as Ally had decided against bridesmaids, that meant the clothing was all taken care of.

While Ally was paying for her dress, Tyler picked through the rack of gowns and held up to herself a mermaid-style one with a dramatic flaring hem. If she ever in a million years got married, she’d choose something like this, but in a rich, bold color like violet or plum instead of conventional white. She pictured herself walking down the aisle, and for some reason the groom at her side was Luke, dressed in an elegant gray suit and smiling at her, his eyes black and shimmering…

“Tyler?”

She jumped and turned to Ally, her heart thumping.

“Are you okay?” Ally asked. “What’s that you’re holding?”

“Nothing.” She hastily stuffed the gown back on the rack and pulled her friend away. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

All the way back home, she chatted about everything except wedding gowns. She didn’t know what had come over her in that bridal store—she wasn’t the kind of girl who’d dreamed of her wedding since the age of five. Marriage was something alien to her, and the more she matured, the more convinced she became that she wasn’t destined for happily ever after. It didn’t depress her; she was fine with that. But the image of her and Luke as a couple persisted in her mind.

It didn’t help much when she drove home—in Luke’s Range Rover—and found he’d mowed her front garden. He’d done a good job, but she wished he hadn’t. Kissing her was one thing, but cutting her lawn was quite another. He was overstepping the boundaries. After she unpacked Chloe from the car, she stuck her head over the fence and saw Luke relaxing on his deck with a can of Coke.

“I didn’t ask for a gardening service,” she said.

He raised his can in mock salute. “You’re welcome.”

“You should be writing, not mowing my lawn.”

“I told you I was taking a few days off.”

“You can’t afford a few days off.” She aimed a frown at him. “You need to get that sequel in or you’ll lose your advance.”

He downed a gulp from the can. “Hey, you’d make a kick-arse agent. I should fire mine and hire you.”

She drew in a breath. In his scruffy shorts and shirt with his jaw unshaven and his hair standing on end, Luke was a far cry from the polished groom of her imagination, but no less potent. She couldn’t help noticing how the thin cotton shirt clung damply to his body, emphasizing his wide shoulders and muscled torso. As she stood there mentally undressing him, he rose to his feet and stripped off his shirt without the least bit of self-consciousness.

She held her breath, unable to speak.

“I’m going for a swim,” he said. “Want to join me?”

Her knees weakened.
Oh sweet crackalicious
. The sight of his naked, toned upper body was enough to make her mouth water. “N-no thanks. I, um, have work to do.”

“Suit yourself.”

His fingers reached for the fly of his shorts, but she ducked down before he could go any further. Would he really strip down out in the open? Did he wear boxers or briefs or did he go commando? Blast, resisting his charms was tougher than she’d imagined.

Chloe tugged at her skirt. “Are we going swimming?”

“Not today, darling.” The way she was feeling, if they went swimming with Luke, she was liable to jump him right in front of her child.

Her daughter pouted a little before cheering up. “Okay. I’m gonna give Miss Pinkie a bath.” She rushed inside the house, clutching onto “Miss Pinkie,” the pink pony Luke had given her.

…

Midmorning Wednesday, Luke found himself at a loose end. Earlier, he’d gone for a run. Then he’d mown the grass in Tyler’s backyard, pruned some of her wilder shrubs, and hosed down her veranda. Peering through her kitchen window, he could see plenty of tidying up needing to be done inside, but it would be more than weird to break into her house to sweep up the crumbs on the floor.

He had zero desire to do any writing and hadn’t even opened his laptop since he’d gotten back from Sydney. There would probably be a few urgent e-mails from his agent, but he didn’t want to spoil the mild autumn morning. He decided to catch the bus into town and drop in at Java & Joolz to inspect the earrings Tyler had suggested he buy for Helen’s birthday.

The store was buzzing when he walked in. A group of customers browsed the gallery, while most of the tables on the other side of the store were occupied. Tyler was busy at the espresso machine. When she caught sight of him, she blew a lock of hair away from her face and gave him a quick grin.

“The lunch-hour crush has started early today,” she said. “What can I get you? Double espresso like usual?”

“I don’t want to add to your load. I just stopped by to look at those earrings you thought Helen would like.”

“Oh, sure, I—”

Chloe hurling herself at Tyler’s legs interrupted them. “Mumma, can I have a muffin?”

Tyler wiped her forearm across her brow. “You’ve already had one, sweetie.”

“But I’m hungry.” The girl screwed up her face, looking set to bawl.

“Just wait a few more minutes and I’ll get you a sandwich or something.” She cast a desperate glance at the food on display. All the sandwiches were gone, and everything else looked laden with sugar.

“Why don’t I take Chloe out for lunch?” Luke said. He cocked his head at the little girl. “Would you like that? We could get a sandwich and chocolate milk from the deli down the road.”

The girl bounced up and down and grabbed hold of Luke’s hand. “Yay!”

“Is that okay?” he asked Tyler. “We’ll only be half an hour, and we won’t be far. I have my phone with me.”

She glanced uncertainly between him and her daughter. “I don’t want to burden you.”

“It’s no burden, honest. Besides, you did tell my sisters I was going to babysit Chloe, and I didn’t contradict you. You wouldn’t want to make a liar out of me, would you?”

Tyler nodded. “Okay, but be back in thirty minutes or I’ll come looking for you.”

He waved at her and walked out the store with Chloe. Considering the intimacies he and Tyler had already shared, she was being a tad overprotective about her daughter. But that was just what he’d come to expect from her. Regardless of who it was, she didn’t let go of her child very easily. Chloe had no such qualms. She skipped along beside him, one chubby hand wrapped in his, the other gripping onto the pink pony he’d bought her. The complete trust she had in him made his heart warm.

At the deli he ordered ham-and-tomato sandwiches and chocolate milks for both of them. They sat in the small park next to the deli and ate while Chloe regaled him with lengthy stories about the adventures of Miss Pinkie the pink pony.

“My grammy has ponies, too,” Chloe said between bites of her sandwich. “Real ones. She says I can ride one when I visit her.”

She was talking about Gretchen, the mother of Tyler’s ex, Luke realized. The woman who wanted Chloe to live permanently with her, though obviously the girl had no clue about that. She simply thought she’d be visiting with Tyler.

“I have another grammy,” Chloe continued. “I saw her at Aunt Daphne’s, but I’m not allowed to call her ‘Grammy.’ She’s too young to be a grammy, she said.”

Luke suppressed a sigh. Poor little darling, having two self-centered grandmothers. And poor Tyler too, getting no support from either woman, just a whole lot of criticism. For all her feistiness and willingness to do battle, Tyler was still vulnerable, and she could use someone in her corner. Someone like him? Immediately he shook his head. No, she needed someone who would stick around for the long haul, someone who could give her stability and security. Someone not like him. He was just the itinerant friend who dropped in now and then. Like his dad, unable to stick around? No, he hadn’t made promises to anyone.

“Do you want to play on the swings?” he asked, nodding toward the set across the park where another little girl was being pushed by her mother.

“No,” Chloe said swiftly.

He caught her apprehensive stare at the swings. “Why not?”

The girl frowned down at her shoes. “I don’t want to fall. Mumma always says she’ll catch me, but I’m scared she won’t.”

Shoot, what had he said now? Buying Chloe lunch and pink toys was easy, but addressing her fears wasn’t. For all his babysitting experience, he suddenly felt way out of his depth. He cleared his throat. “Hey, you know your mum’s always going to be there. She wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you.”

Chloe wriggled her foot, still frowning. “Really?”

Luke hesitated. He shouldn’t be making promises on Tyler’s behalf, but the girl was looking for reassurance. “Really.”

Her face cleared and she tugged at his hand. “Can I go on the slide?”

Wondering if he’d handled the situation properly, he laughed and allowed her to pull him to his feet. “Sure, moppet.”

When their half an hour was up, they headed back to Java & Joolz.

“Sounds like you had a good time,” Tyler said to Luke when Chloe had finished telling her everything and run back to her corner table. “Thanks for taking her out. It’s hard on her to be cooped up here all morning.”

Luke shrugged. “It was a pleasure, honestly.” Even if Chloe had made him realize there was a lot about parenting he didn’t know. Luckily, fatherhood wasn’t in his plans, so he needn’t worry about being bad at it.

Now that the lunchtime bustle in the store had died down, he had ample opportunity to enjoy the sight of Tyler. Ever since they’d almost ended up in bed, she had occupied a large proportion of his thoughts. Today she wore a lace-trimmed top and a fluttery, long skirt belted tight around her slim waist. Her hair trailed down her back in loose red ruffles, and her skin was pure cream with just a dusting of freckles. Narrowing his gaze on her, he folded his arms across his chest and breathed in slowly. Mmm…she was just so damn enticing. Pity circumstances were so complicated. If only…

“Luke?” Tyler’s eyes sparkled mischievously, as if she could read every one of his wandering thoughts.

“Hmm?” Maybe he should put his panting tongue away.

“Do you want to see those earrings now?”

Earrings… Oh yeah, those earrings for Helen. He nodded and followed her across the store. When he saw the pieces, he bought them on the spot, knowing they’d be a perfect gift for his sister.

“My shift’s almost over,” Tyler said as she rang up his purchase. “If you hang around for ten minutes, we can all head back in your car.”

A while later he found himself driving home with Tyler sitting next to him and Chloe strapped into her booster seat in the rear. Since she’d been borrowing his car, Tyler had tuned the radio to a rock station, and as they swooped over the undulating lanes, she cranked up the volume and sang along to the music blaring from the speakers. Chloe joined in, bouncing her feet in time to the music. At first just Luke’s fingers tapped along on the wheel, but eventually he joined in, and they sang all the way home.

Luke jabbed the off button on his phone and tossed it aside. The problem with mobile phones was he didn’t have the satisfaction of slamming down the receiver. Instead, he had to pace around his living room, seething as he relived his agent’s call. Elliot was displeased Luke had been ignoring all his e-mails. Elliot was also displeased that no manuscript was forthcoming and the deadline was looming perilously close. Elliot would have hit the roof if he’d known exactly how unfinished the contracted book was.

To hell with agents and contracts and deadlines. To hell with writing, too. Maybe he should chuck it all and do something else. Something useful. He could teach. That would be more useful than wringing another Kingsley Jeffers book from his soul. Though if he became a teacher, he’d have to remain in one place, put down roots. Somehow the idea wasn’t the complete anathema it once was, but it was still enough to give him the heebie-jeebies.

Deciding he needed a distraction, he picked up the can of teak oil he’d purchased and went next door to stain Tyler’s outdoor furniture. Earlier that day, he’d popped in to find both her and Chloe under the weather. Tyler had a migraine, while Chloe had a stomach bug. They were both resting inside in front of the television, and he didn’t intend on disturbing them while he worked on the wooden chairs.

He was almost finished when a sleek black car pulled into the driveway. The woman who got out was in her sixties and dressed in a prim beige suit and matching polished shoes. Her severe face soured at the sight of him.

“I’m here to see my granddaughter,” she announced as if she were addressing the hired help.

Luke stretched up to his full height. “You must be Gretchen Stafford.” After Tyler’s vivid description, who else could it be?