Reason Is You (9781101576151) (23 page)

“How’s it going, Dani?”

Well, I was getting lucky till you showed up.
I chanced a look at
Jason, ignored the flutter in my belly, and pasted on a smile. “Great, Matty, how are you?”

He had a different sidekick with him, one who looked familiar. And not in a good way.

“Dani Shane, wow,” the new guy said, and the voice brought me all the way back. Back to the snotty doctor’s son he was and the gropes in the hallway when Lisa-do-you-remember-me wasn’t looking. Carson Marlow, Lisa’s now-husband. The guy who pretended to like me and invite me to my one and only party. That got me wasted and then threw me out when I still had enough snap to turn down him and his friends. The night I met Alex.

Before I could open my mouth, the door opened again and a big teenage boy walked in followed by another slightly smaller one. I recognized the bigger one from the bait shop as Lisa’s bag-hauling son. The other looked to be a younger brother.

“What can I help you with, besides the lures?” Jason asked.

Matty smiled at him and then at Carson. “We want to sign up for the tournament next week. The boys, too.”

“No problem.” Jason pulled some forms out from a drawer. “Fill these out and it’s fifteen each.”

“Oh, come on,” Carson drawled, throwing what I assumed to be a charming look my way. His eyes were red and floating in scotch. Charming had left the building. “For old friends of Dani’s? You could waive that, couldn’t you there, big guy?”

My mouth went sour. Jason actually laughed out loud.

“Yeah, I’ve seen how close you are. Sorry, guys. Tournament rules.”

Matty leaned his big arms on the counter, and Carson followed suit, taking my left hand in the process.

“No ring, Dani?”

I yanked my hand free before Jason could swoop in. Assuming he had swoop intentions. Truth be known, I had no idea what his
intentions were. If he would be jealous, indifferent, angry, possessive—I had no clue what the hell we were outside that bait room.

“You know, boys, your dad and I went to school with Miss Shane, here,” Matty said, not turning around. “Come say hello.”

They looked at each other with that unmistakable tolerance of those forced to live with assholes. That look of going through the motions to keep the peace, as they ambled up behind Carson.

“My sons, Drew and Derry,” Carson said. I held out a hand and both boys reached around their dad, who was planted firmly.

“Are you Riley Shane’s mom?” Drew asked. He was the one I’d seen before and was already taller than Carson.

“Yes, I am. You know Riley?”

“Kinda.”

I blinked at the short answer. Okay.

“I think we’ll get some live shrimp, too, just in case they don’t bite on artificial. See what the trend is before next week,” Matty said.

“How much?”

“Four dozen or so.”

I headed to the back to count out “or so” as the two boys headed out and around to meet me with a bucket. I opened the back door and grabbed the net off the hook as I waited.

“Hey, you seen that Riley Shane chick?” I heard the younger one ask, and I held my breath in anticipation. I heard the zipping sound of a lighter, and realized they were grabbing their thirty-second smoke break.

“Riley? Yeah.”

“She’s hot.”

A snorting laugh. “She’s out of your league, dude.”

“Yours, too.”

“Bullshit.”

A laugh from the other one. “You’re full of it, Drew. You’ll never hit that.”

“I’m telling you, once that guy she’s been hanging with goes back to wherever he came from, that tight little ass is gonna be mine.”

I almost dropped the net. I lost feeling in my fingers.

“You think he’s doing her?”

“Hell yeah. They were all over each other the other night when we were skinny-dipping.”

I covered my mouth before I could cry out. Skinny-dipping? With Grady? I saw red and purple and five other colors.

“You saw her naked? Damn.”

“Nah, just to her underwear. But it got see-through real fast.” He laughed. “Man, I’m telling you I’d have thrown Micah aside in a heartbeat to have that wrapped around me like he did.”

“Mom would have a shit fit if you came home with her. Remember she said they’re weird.”

“Who’s talking about bringing home? I’ve got Micah for that.”

There was the scrape of snubbing cigarettes out on concrete so they could pocket them for later. I was glued to the floor. And sick. I wanted to run, grab Riley, and drive as far from there as possible. Drive till the land ran out.

Instead, I slowly released the breath I’d been holding and swiped at my eyes as they strolled in. The tall one, Drew, stopped a little short when he saw how close to the door I was, and gave me a polite smile as he handed me the bucket. I clenched the bait net as hard as I could to stop the trembling, or to keep from beating him with it.

I turned to the shrimp vat and had to close my eyes for a second or two and breathe. When I opened them, it was still there—the fantasy of drowning him in there with the shrimp. Holding his pretty head under the water until the bubbles ceased and the quiet
lights came. I cleared my throat and started scooping. Drowning wasn’t nice. It wasn’t a good way to die.
Where did that come from?

Besides, the little brother would rat me out.

When they left, I didn’t go back up front. I couldn’t. I sank onto a stool, instead, and leaned over on my knees. How could I have brought Riley here? To this particular portal of hell where history was determined to repeat itself. Where fathers passed down their toxic waste like baseball cards.

“You okay?”

I turned to focus on Jason, but all I could see was the image of Riley and Grady skinny-dipping in the lake.

“Yeah, sorry, I’m just—”

“A million miles away.”

“Somewhere in that area.”

He rubbed at his neck, looking awkward, then pulled over another stool, sitting far enough in front of me that we couldn’t touch. I was glad of that. Sort of.

“Look, Dani, I—” Jason shook his head. “I didn’t mean for that to happen earlier.”

His earnest innocent expression made me chuckle in spite of the turmoil boiling through me. He looked like he’d been caught with his dad’s
Penthouse
magazine.

“You accidentally fell in my mouth?”

He gave me a look. “No, I meant—I just—”

I laughed lightly and held a hand up. “I know what you mean. I—didn’t mean to get all carried away like that, either.”

He looked relieved. “I don’t know—what came over me. I guess it just felt—” He stopped as he made eye contact.

“Really good,” I finished.

“
Really
good.”

I caught my bottom lip with my teeth, still tasting him. The memory of that made my stomach do a little shimmy.

“Look, I can’t deny I’ve wanted to kiss you since the other night,” he said, stopping to breathe in deeply. “And I really want to do it again. But I never planned on all those fireworks. That’s not what I want.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, of course that’s what I want,” he continued. “But I guess what I’m not saying very well is I don’t just want to bang you on a bait table.”

“Really?” I said, tickled at that. “Because if that asshole hadn’t come in, we’d be—”

“Please don’t. I might cry.”

I burst out laughing. He was funny? Who knew? I felt a little of the tension release. A little.

“Oh lord, Jason,” I said after the giggles subsided. I looked away and scooped my hair back. “What are we doing?”

“I don’t know.” He laughed to himself, looking at the floor. “God knows I’m nobody’s catch. I’ve got a mountain of baggage and I suck at this.”

“You do better than you think,” I said softly, bringing his gaze back up to me. “And your little baggage has nothing on my steamer trunks.”

“Steamer trunks?”

“
Titanic
worthy.”

“Okay, you win.”

I smiled, then felt it fade as reality crept back in to settle in the crevices. “Jason, there are things—” I paused, startled at the sudden urge to confide in him. I’d never felt the desire to do that before, and it was foreign. Scary. “Things you don’t know about me. Heavy things.”

My eyes burned with unbidden tears as the subject came to the brim. That’s as far as I could bring it.

“And there’s crap going on with Riley,” I continued, diverting. I ran a quick hand under my eyes. “Probably not the greatest time.”

“Hey,” he said, scooting his stool forward. He leaned on his knees and took my right hand, running his thumb lightly back and forth over my knuckles. “I’m not in a hurry; are you?”

I watched his thumb, and had the most random thought that it was the most intimate gesture anyone had made toward me in a long time. That tiny touch had me more captivated than when his hands had my whole body on fire.

“No.”

“Then relax.”

I smiled at the word and met his eyes again. He leaned in so I matched him, and his lips brushed mine, once, twice, then claimed them. His hand never left my hand, our bodies stayed where they were, but we kissed slowly, softly, tasting each other. I got lost in the sensation, in the intimacy of it.
You should be kissed like that every day.

I pushed Alex’s voice from my head.

T
HAT
afternoon after work, I was a useless mess. I tried to get gas; I flubbed up the credit card. I went to the grocery store and forgot a third of my list. I didn’t even make it into the house when I got home, I just flopped onto the porch swing.

I could’ve kissed that man for days. And that wasn’t even counting the prior grope session that still made me tingle to recall.

But behind all that fantasy was the reason for a mounting headache. I closed my eyes and hit rewind. What the boys had said about Riley. What Alex had said about my mother. And how to try to have what appeared to be a relationship without any of that coming to light.

Riley skinny-dipping with Grady—oh, that just reminded my blood to boil, as my skin burned with it and my eyes flew open.

Alex was in front of me.

“Shit!”

He didn’t flinch, just continued to lean against the railing, hands in his pockets as usual. His face was passive. You’d never think our last conversation was so volatile.

“Seems we’ve got some unfinished business,” he said, his voice smooth and even.

His eyes showed nothing. It made my stomach hurt, and a hand automatically went there. I had to look away from the hard stare.

“How would you feel, Alex?”

He said nothing, but I saw something flicker in his face. The hard resolve pulled back a bit.

“I need answers,” I said.

“You already have them.”

“What?” I had nothing. What did he think I had?

“You just don’t see it, yet.”

He pushed off the railing and turned to gaze toward the river. I rubbed my throbbing temples. Too much. It was too much.

“I don’t have the strength for word games; please just tell me what I’m too stupid to figure out. My mother clearly said something to you. Tell me whatever it is you’ve spent forty years not telling me.”

He turned his head to fix me with the most heart-wrenching look. Something between torn and pissed.

“Sarah died first.”

It was blunt and not news. But that was supposed to do it for me, I guess, because then he turned back toward the river.

“I know that.”

“Then use that information. You can—”

“Or the source that is standing here can just talk to me,” I said,
interrupting. “Honestly, Alex, I’m sick of this. This isn’t some Nancy Drew mystery. Why won’t you just tell me?”

“Because I made a promise,” he said, kneeling down in front of me with a loud sigh. “I keep my word.”

His eyes were soft again, and I felt my irritation dissipate a little.

“To whom?” But I knew that one. “My mother?”

Behind him, car tires crackled on the gravel. Miss Olivia’s Caddy pulled in.

“Crap,” I muttered.

Alex didn’t turn; he stayed locked in on me. “You look different today.”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“Miss Olivia already has. It’s your lips, they’re kinda puffy.”

That jolted my attention back to him, who was studying my mouth as Miss Olivia made her way up to the porch. Crap.

“Hey there, Dani girl,” she said, taking the steps slowly.

“Hey, what brings you back early? I thought you were gone for a week?” I asked, trying to give Alex a nod to leave. Or move. Or no, leaving would be better. “Please?” I whispered under my breath.

“People getting on my last nerve,” she answered.

She made it up the stairs and settled into a big cushiony chair to my right. Alex caved to my glare, only enough to back up to the railing again. I took a deep breath and turned sideways in the swing to talk, attempting to ignore him.

“So you’re going to this thing next weekend, huh?” I asked.

“Oh hell, girl, that’s the only time you can see everyone at once.”

I grimaced. “That’s not a selling point.”

Miss Olivia chuckled and adjusted her hat. “True. Sorry. So, what’s going on with the girl?”

I narrowed my eyes. “Why?”

“Because I asked, young lady.”

I smiled. “Try again. What have you heard?”

She winked at me and pulled a roll of Certs from her giant bag, popping one in her mouth after I declined. “Grady’s smitten with her.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s mutual.”

She dropped her big purse on the porch with a thud. “That’s what I hear.” At my questioning look, she continued. “You know, being an old woman, I just tend to blend in sometimes, and so I get things without people knowing.”

Alex actually chuckled, and I couldn’t imagine Miss Olivia ever blending into anything, either, but I just nodded. “And you got what?”

She shrugged. “Girl talk. Jealousy, mostly. Riley’s new and gorgeous and she’s snagged the new boy in town. But there was a comment about whether she was as crazy as her mother.”

I took another breath on that one and fought back the burn. Riley was just destined to pay the price of being my daughter. I looked at Alex. “It never ends.”

He was back behind them again, his eyes. Compassion and depth radiated from them. My voice shook as I said the next sentence, locking eyes with him.