Rebecca's Return (3 page)

His head spinning, John pushed the difficult thoughts away as he turned to help another customer coming through the doorway.

C
HAPTER
T
HREE

R
ebecca, riding in the backseat of the twelve-passenger, silver Dodge Caravan, was squeezed between chubby Amanda Troyer and her husband, David, whose stringy growth of hair on his chin was trying unsuccessfully to form into a full-length beard.

In the seat in front of them were Roy and Dorothy Miller and their four-month-old Elizabeth. Both couples were young, traveling to visit relatives on Wheat Ridge during Christmas.

Rebecca had known both couples from her growing-up years in Milroy, as well as the older couple on the front bench seat, James and Laura Miller and their daughter, Susan. In the front seat beside the driver was James and Laura’s son, Andrew, a boy of twenty or so.

Rebecca had heard something to the effect that Andrew had his eye on one of her cousins on the Keim side. In fact, he might well be going to visit the girl, she figured, instead of just writing a letter to begin a possible relationship. It could make for an interesting upcoming Sunday evening.

Andrew hadn’t said much during the entire trip. The silent type, he had barely glanced at Rebecca when she had boarded the van at her aunt’s place. Not that Rebecca cared one way or the other, but it started her thinking about John.

Rebecca breathed deeply. Leaving Emma’s she had been certain everything would be okay. She would tell John about her promise to Atlee, if he wanted to know. If John didn’t want to know, that was fine too.

She had been honest with herself on this trip to Milroy. Yes, she had loved Atlee, loved him deeply, but that was over. Her heart had grown since then. It had grown larger with new places for love and affection. John could fill those places now. And she very much wanted John to fill her heart, to look at her with that intense desire shining in his eyes the way he did that day he proposed.

The fear of the past, so haunting before her trip, now seemed to recede into the distance, driven away by the light. She smiled thinking about it.

“A penny for your thoughts,” Amanda whispered, her midsection vibrating vertically with each bump in the road. “What’s that sweet smile about? John waiting for you?”

“How do you know about John?” Rebecca whispered back, feeling a flush of red on her neck.

“Oh,” Amanda replied with a grin, her voice going back to its normal tone, “birdies fly from tree to tree, you know.”

“Well, yes, they do,” Rebecca agreed. “And yes, I suppose I was thinking about him. I don’t know if he’s expecting me back this Sunday or not. I haven’t let anyone know.”

“Well, you should have, but they can probably figure it out,” Amanda allowed. “Your mom knows the baby was born, doesn’t she?”

“Yes. I wrote her the day after.”

“But no one might have told John,” Amanda stated more than asked.

“Perhaps not. I don’t know.” A cloud crossed Rebecca’s face. “I guess I should have made more of an effort. There was just so much going on.”

Amanda answered, “Either way—he’ll be so happy to see you, it won’t matter. How were you supposed to let him know? You weren’t gone that long?”

“About three weeks.”

“That’s not very long.”

“I guess I could have called or written him. I’ll have to tell John I’m sorry.”

“Did you have his address?”

“There never was a reason for it before.”

“You’ve never mailed him anything, not even a card at Christmas?”

“I just gave it to him.”

“
Ach vell,
don’t worry about it. Like I said—boys. They’re just so glad to see their girl.”

The van slowed and made a turn onto a narrower road.

“Is this your road?” Amanda asked.

“Yes,” Rebecca said, as the driver took the van around a sharp turn, “our place is up here on the left.”

“So we’ll see each other on Sunday then?” Amanda asked hopefully. “It would be good to see another familiar face.”

“Are you going to our district?”

“I don’t know.” Amanda’s face fell. “If not, maybe I’ll see others I know from Milroy.”

“There’s quite a few, I think,” Rebecca said, as the van slowed down to turn into the Keim driveway. “My, but it’s good to see home again.”

“It’s a nice place here,” Amanda told Rebecca in approval. She then motioned for David to move, as the van came to a stop, so they could let Rebecca out. Both David and Amanda squeezed down the right side and stepped completely out of the van. Rebecca followed.

David went to find her suitcase, while Rebecca paid the driver for her share of the trip. When she was done, her suitcase was sitting on a bare spot of the frozen ground. David and Amanda had already climbed back into the van. As the van drove down the road and out of sight, she was left alone in the driveway, the sense of home closing in all around her.

C
HAPTER
F
OUR

E
ven though little time had slipped by, Rebecca felt as if she had been away from home a very long time because of all that had happened. Her heart felt aged and wise, having grown by leaps and bounds in such a short time.

“Thank You, Lord,” she whispered, bending down to pick up her suitcase. “You have been so good to me. You used that trip at just the right time to bring me to my senses. Emma was so wise. Such good counsel. You must have known exactly what I needed.”

The kitchen door opened slowly, and her mother stepped out, breaking into a smile at the sight of Rebecca. “I
thought
I heard something. Oh my, it’s so good to see you home.” Mattie came toward Rebecca, a food-stained apron around her waist, and reached for the suitcase after giving her a quick embrace.

“Thanks, Mom, but I can carry it,” Rebecca said. “Where is everybody?”

“Oh, the usual for this time of the day. Dad’s in town getting a part for the hay rake. It broke down last fall, and he’s getting ready for spring. Hopefully the dealership has it. The children are still in school. So, you were able to come on a load instead of the Greyhound?”

“Yes. I only found out on Sunday, but by then my letter to you was already sent. Anyway, I figured you were expecting me about this time.”

“I was, but I thought maybe tomorrow. So, how’s baby Jonathon?”

“Hungry and still angry, I think. He didn’t seem to be too happy to be a part of this world.”

Mattie chuckled. “They’re all like that, at least mine were. It takes a little adjusting sometimes. Then we learn to appreciate what
Da Hah
has in store for us. Is Leona okay?”

“She was up working some on Wednesday already. I told her it wasn’t necessary, but she insisted. Said she needed to get in shape as soon as possible.”

“That’s like Leona.”

“It’s like you too,” Rebecca chided.

“Well, we
are
sisters. It would have been good to see her again myself. So how was it, running a whole household all by yourself?”

Rebecca pulled in her breath at the memory. “Scary at first. Thankfully, I had a few days to start in slow with Leona helping. That was a wise idea to go early. I think Leona appreciated it too.”

Mattie nodded. “That’s what I was thinking, with it being your first time and all. Now you’re an experienced baby maid—in much demand. Even around here, if you want to.”

Rebecca wrinkled her face. “That many diapers in that many days—I don’t know about that.”

Mattie laughed. “It doesn’t pay much either. Not nearly as much as housecleaning for the English does. I guess that’s why most of us only do it for family. Come on inside and get settled in. There’s no sense in talking out here in the cold.”

“Has John asked when I was to come back?” Rebecca asked, looking worried.

“No, I assumed you would let him know. You didn’t write him when you wrote me a letter?”

Rebecca made a face. “I didn’t have his address, but I know that’s a poor excuse. There was so much going on.”

“That is a poor excuse.”

“I know,” Rebecca said, “but I am glad I got some things solved. It was a busy time. Maybe if I explain it all to John, he’ll understand.”

“He probably will, although it’s not good to leave a boyfriend without news for long.”

“Mom, there’s something I should tell you about what happened though.”

“Oh?” Mattie hesitated at the kitchen door.

“Do you remember Atlee from Milroy?”

“Yes. You and he were close at one time, weren’t you?”

“Yes. But even more than that,” Rebecca said, then hesitated. “I finally figured out that I really did love him—in the sixth grade.”

Mattie glanced at her and asked, “Now where did that come from? You surely don’t anymore, do you? That was a long time ago.”

“It was,” Rebecca allowed. “But it troubled me. I didn’t quite trust my heart.”

“Your heart was not then what it is now. If you let Atlee fill it—what there was to fill—now you can let John fill it. He is much better for you.”

“I know that now, but I didn’t
let
Atlee fill it. He just did,” Rebecca protested.

Mattie shrugged. “One never knows how such things happen. They just do. You can open and shut the door though. And now with John, you must simply shut the door on memories of Atlee.”

“Yes,” Rebecca replied, “Emma said the same thing. But I didn’t know that before I went to Milroy.”

“Why? What happened in Milroy?” Mattie asked, now suspicious. “Surely you didn’t see Atlee? Surely he would not have sought you out.”

“No, Mom, it’s not like that. I went down to the Moscow bridge, where we used to go. I was trying to deal with something between us. Then Atlee did stop by—he was visiting relatives.”

“And what happened?” Mattie asked.

“Nothing to be alarmed about. He’s gone Mennonite…but you knew that. He’s getting married. I think talking to him was good. It helped me realize how much I really do love and need John.”

“Good,” Mattie said, relief in her eyes. “All of us had thoughts and feelings when we were very young. But it’s not the same when you’re older. Real life starts when we grow up.”

“And that’s how I feel now, Mom—grown up somehow. You think John will be too upset?”

Mattie smiled at her daughter and then said, “I don’t think so. Now get yourself unpacked. I suppose Matthew will be glad for your help in the barn. I do think the chores are still a little too much for him. I could use some help myself in the kitchen too.”

“What are you making?”

“Cinnamon rolls. Now hurry and get changed. You can lay your clothing on the bed for now. Hang them up later. That way you’ll have time to see if any of them need ironing.”

“I’ll be right down,” Rebecca said, heading for the stairs. As she opened the door to her room, she stood still for a moment, the feelings flooding her. This was her room, her place where she came when she needed to be alone. Here she wept when tears were needed, where no one else would see. It was the heart of home.

Walking to her bed, she gently ran her hands over the quilt. The square cross-stitch design soothed her eyes, and the soft feathery strings brushing against her fingers moved her.

She felt tears sting her eyes.
I am being silly,
she told herself.
It’s just a normal room.
Still she stood there for long moments, taking in the sensations of home. Hastily, to make up for time already lost, she lay her clothing from the suitcase out on the bed, changed into work clothes, and dashed downstairs.

C
HAPTER
F
IVE