Levi unloaded the last glass from the dishwasher as Beth blew through the door of their apartment, and his heart jumped out of his chest.
Beth stared at the clean cupboard and the empty dishwasher. “Is somebody coming over?”
“No,” Levi said, trying to keep the excitement from his voice, “I was just cleaning up.”
She gave him a suspicious look. “Who are you, and what have you done with my brother?”
“Hey, just because I never do the dishes doesn’t mean I don’t know how.”
“No complaints from me. I’m all for you taking over dish duty.” Beth laid her purse on the table and thumbed through the mail. “What you doing tonight? You going out with the new girl?”
Levi wiped the faucet with a dry towel. “No, she can’t go out most nights. Mostly just Fridays.”
“What, she only has one night out on work release?”
Levi threw the towel at his sister. It missed by a mile. Unflinching, she stood her ground.
“I have to work tonight,” Levi said.
“Work?” Beth said. “You’ve already been to work today.”
“I got a second job.”
She looked at him like he was crazy. “A second job?”
“The bicycle place right next to Truckload Sports needed someone to fix bikes.”
Beth raised an eyebrow. “Am I missing something here? You got a second job?”
“I can come in anytime I want, so I can work it around my other job. And they pay really well.”
“But why would you get a second job?”
“When is tuition due at Northwestern?”
Beth sighed. “Oh, Levi, we’ve talked about this. I’m never going to come up with enough money.”
Levi reached into his jeans pocket and produced an envelope. “I am sorry to say, I committed a federal crime and opened your letter.”
She snatched it from his hands and pulled out the paper inside. Her eyes grew as round as buggy wheels as she read. “My grant! They approved my grant.” With both arms, she seized Levi by the neck and squeezed tightly. “It’s been so many months since I applied, I thought I’d been rejected.” Her eyes scanned to the bottom of the page and the wind disappeared from her sails. “It’s not enough,” she mumbled. “Even with loans, I’ve still got to come up with five thousand dollars plus figure out a way to pay for housing. It’s still not enough.” She plopped herself into a kitchen chair.
Levi put a hand on her shoulder.
“It’s okay,” Beth said. “I’ve already resigned myself to the fact that I’ll be going to the community college.”
Levi thought he might burst with excitement. He stuck his hand into his pocket, pulled out a wad of cash, and threw five twenties on the table. “This is for you,” he said.
Beth looked at the money as though it might sprout feet and run away. “What for?”
“They pay me by the bike for bike repairs. I think I can muster an extra two hundred dollars a week for the rest of the summer. If you save all the tips you make at MacAffees, I think we can eke out enough for tuition.”
Levi looked at the money, which seemed a measly amount compared to what Beth needed. She’d have more if he sold his car and walked to work, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. No car meant no Rebecca. Apple Lake was too far to walk, seven miles, and there weren’t enough hours in the day to take the bus. On top of the money he needed to date Rebecca and feed her family once a week, two hundred dollars at a time for Beth was truly all he could manage.
Beth didn’t touch the money. “Levi, you already help with the rent and insurance. You want this family to bleed you dry?”
“I can save almost thirty dollars a week if I never buy another margarita again,” he said.
She gave him a half smile. “It’s a good reason to go sober.”
“Please take the money, sis. It’ll be like the whole family going to school with you. You have to uphold the family honor, you know.”
“The pressure is killing me.”
“You’ll survive.”
With eyes shining, she finally picked up the cash. Clasping it in both hands, she said, “Thank you.” She grinned through her tears. “You’re the best brother I ever had.”
“I’m the only brother you ever had.”
“Lucky for you, there’s no competition.” Beth opened her purse and put the money into her wallet. “When I’m a rich doctor, I’ll pay you back every penny.”
“No need. Free medical care is all I ask.”
She reached over and took his hand. “I wish I could have done the same for you four years ago.”
“Nah, the money is much better spent on you.” Levi felt that stab of pain again, anger mixed with regret. His dad’s abandonment had led Levi down a horrible path he wished he could wipe from his memory. “I never deserved it like you do, Beth.”
“Quit with the self-loathing, Levi. You’re better than that.”
“I wish I were.”
Beth picked up her grant letter and put it back into the envelope. “It’s this new girl you’re dating. You’re different since you met her.”
“She makes me want to be a better person.”
“Well, if she’s inspired you to stop drinking, more power to her.”
Levi knitted his brows together. “I really like her.”
“Don’t sound so miserable.”
He didn’t want to see her reaction, so he went back to the sink, picked up the towel, and wiped the faucet again. “She’s Amish.”
A shocked silence.
“Does Mom know?” Beth murmured.
“No.”
Another long silence.
“She won’t like it,” Beth said.
Levi simply nodded.
“Does the girl know about all your stuff with the Amish? The accident?” Beth said.
Levi dropped the towel onto the counter. The accident. Would it ever cross his mind without sending a shard of glass shooting through his heart? “She knows we used to be Amish and that Mom has been shunned for almost fifteen years. She doesn’t know the worst.”
“Are you going to tell her?”
“No. She’d hate me.”
Beth frowned. “Of course she won’t hate you. Forgiveness is what the Amish do best.”
“I’m not taking any chances.”
“What if she finds out? Wouldn’t it be better coming from you?” Beth said.
“She’s not going to find out,” Levi said, clenching his teeth. “She’s never going to find out.”
Rebecca couldn’t help herself. She sat on the floor in the hallway outside her parents’ bedroom with her ear plastered against the door. Whether eavesdropping was wicked or not, she simply had to hear this conversation. Mamm seemed so confident that she could win Fater’s approval, but Rebecca couldn’t feel so secure.
If Fater suddenly decided to open the door, she would be in big trouble—not to mention be left with a splitting headache.
Fater had arrived home on Friday night just before midnight, when everyone but Rebecca was already asleep. She had slipped through the door mere minutes earlier from playing laser tag. Levi had gotten a flat tire and fixed it with lightning speed to get Rebecca home on time.
This morning after breakfast, Fater went back to the bedroom as he always did to get a weekly update from Mamm. When he left the table, Rebecca sneaked down the hall after him. She tuned her ear to the sound of her parents’ voices.
“…can save money on chicken feed,” Mamm said.
“Danny wastes it,” Fater said. “He pours too much at a time.”
“He does his best.”
“Tell Becky to feed the chickens. She is not as careless as Daniel.”
No reply.
“I see the lawn is done. Did Max fix the mower? He probably made it worse,” Fater said.
“Nae, someone else fixed it.”
Rebecca’s heart thumped in her chest so loudly she was sure Fater would hear it.
“A young man came to help us on Wednesday,” Mamm said.
Fater lowered his voice. “What young man? I told the ministers we do not need help. Becky knows not to accept charity. I have made that very clear many times.”
“There is nothing to be upset about, Amos. This boy is not from our district. The bishop did not send him.”
“That does not matter. Becky knows—”
“I would not ask Rebecca to turn this one away.”
“I will tell her,” Fater insisted.
“He came to see her, Amos.”
A pause.
“A suitor?” Fater asked.
“Jah.”
“She should not have visitors when she is supposed to be working,” Fater said.
“You have not been listening. He came on Wednesday and worked all day. He mowed and mucked out the stalls and fixed the barn door.”
“It does not matter. I will not have him or anyone else coming around. We take care of our own family.”
Rebecca pursed her lips. She could have predicted exactly what Fater would say. Why did Mamm think she could stand up to him?
“Amos,” Mamm said with more authority than Rebecca had ever heard, “close your mouth and bite your tongue and let me speak, or I promise I will hitch up the buggy and go stay with my sister. I have no call for a husband who interrupts me every five seconds.”
Rebecca had to strain to hear Fater’s answer. “Now you are being childish.”
“Bite your tongue now, Amos.”
Rebecca couldn’t see, couldn’t guess the looks exchanged on the other side of the door, but Mamm must have won the contest of wills.
“It is high time we let Rebecca receive suitors,” Mamm said.
“That does not mean—”
“Husband,” Mamm threatened.
“Just let me say— Erla, what are you doing?”
“Going to hitch up the wagon.”
Rebecca moved away from the door as she heard the bed creak.
“Get back into bed,” Fater said, his exasperation evident. “I promise I will listen.”
“Without interrupting.”
“Jah. I will not interrupt.”
“With humility,” Mamm said.
“Jah. Whatever you want.”
Mamm was silent for a minute, probably staring at Fater before she spoke. “It is only natural that Rebecca will have suitors. She is of the right age, and she is very pretty. But she is tied to this house and farm because of all the work. If she cannot go to the boys, then the boys must come to her. This boy wants to prove himself to her. To us. How can he do that if we forbid him from the farm?” Mamm paused. “You may speak.”
Fater waited, as if formulating the perfect sentence—the only one he might be allowed to utter. “She can meet boys at gatherings.”
“That is not good enough. Rebecca is an unusual girl. She won’t be courted in the usual way.”
Rebecca almost smiled. Mamm had no idea how accurate her words were.
“Amos, you will allow this boy to come every week and see our Rebecca and work if he is so inclined.”
Fater started to speak, and Mamm cut him short. “If you do not, everyone will say you are being selfish with your girl and you are purposefully trying to keep her from marrying.”
“Of course I am not keeping her from marriage. She is free to marry.”
“Is she?”
“Jah.”
“Then do not tell her when she can and cannot see boys.”
“I do not approve of boys coming to our house.”
The bed creaked as if Mamm were waving her hands in the air. “You must give her freedom, Amos. Just because it is not your way does not mean it is not right. And if you rob her of this opportunity, the consequences will be on your head.”
Rebecca held her breath as the silence lengthened. She waited so long that she began to wonder if they had both fallen asleep.
“I will allow him to come,” Fater finally said. “But I want to know more about him. What is his name? Who is his family?”
“I do not know,” Mamm said. “I will have Rebecca bring him to meet me.”
“I must meet him also.”
“You will. Now go make yourself some raspberry-leaf tea. You look to have a sour stomach.”
Rebecca stood up and tiptoed to the kitchen. In a daze she started to wash the dishes but felt her knees get weak and sank into a chair instead. Things were worse than ever. Levi would be allowed to come to the farm, but as soon as her parents met him, the farm dates would be over. When Mamm didn’t know, when her brothers and sister assumed he was Amish, then Rebecca felt justified in pretending. But after Mamm met him and wanted to know him better, Rebecca could not lie about who Levi really was. She could not make up a family for him or hire parents to adopt him. And Fater would put a stop to the relationship faster than a squirrel could run up a tree.
It shouldn’t matter. Once Rebecca learned how to ski, she and Levi would go their separate ways and never cross paths again.
But it did matter.
Rebecca caught her breath when she realized how much it mattered to her. The thought of Levi absent from her life was as painful as the thought of losing her right arm.
She shook her head. Rebecca refused to attach herself to anyone. Levi was an Englischer. An Englischer with a rough past who couldn’t possibly take hold of her heart. Rebecca simply regretted losing his company and his strong hands and his skills on her farm. She regularly bore her soul to him, but he wasn’t the only friend she had. He was handsome, to be sure, but there were other interested boys. Amish boys. Like Marvin.
Marvin Yutzy—whose company was much like conversing with a cardboard box.
What would it hurt if Levi came one more time? She would at least get to be with him. And once he met Mamm and revealed his true identity, Rebecca could still see him on Friday nights, the one night she reserved to be free of her family. Mamm and Fater need never know whom she met.
Rebecca ran into her bedroom and locked the door. After retrieving her phone from under the windowsill, she sent Levi a text.
Fater is allowing you back. Do you still want to come on Wednesday? You don’t have to. Fater wants to meet you and so does Mamm. So I am afraid this visit will be your last.
To her surprise, her phone vibrated almost immediately after she sent her message.
I’m like a beggar. I’ll take whatever I can get. Maybe it will work out with your fater. Do you like apricots? I hate them. LOL. Buy some sugar. I’ll be there on Wednesday.
Before she could turn off her phone, it vibrated again.
How do you feel about roller coasters?
On Wednesday morning at six o’clock sharp, Rebecca opened the front door to Levi, who stood on the porch with two red roses and a can of tuna fish in his fist. He smiled so widely, Rebecca thought he might burst into laughter at any moment.