Rebel Heat (12 page)

“You said Rinatta was special to you. You brought her up hoping I would tell you about my serious relationship.”

He was afraid the circumstances of Rinatta’s arrival had eclipsed that fact. “North was the first male to share her bed, but he never touched her heart. I was her true lover.”

“Couldn’t North smell you on her? You’ve made a big deal about how easy it is to smell other males.”

“We have a device similar to your condom. I made damn sure my scent never touched her in any way.”

After a long pause, she asked, “What would have happened…I guess a better question is, did Elder North ever find out?”

“We risked death each time we touched, but it didn’t seem to matter. And, no, he never found out.”

She finally looked at him, her gaze luminous in the gathering moonlight. “Then what happened to her? I presume you’d be with her still if that were an option.”

He thought about that for a moment. Would he be with Rinatta if they had both been liberated from the Shadow Maze? “I’m not sure. My affection for her changed over time, but it broke my heart when North set her free.”

“Why did North let her go?”

“According to the Sacred Customs pleasure givers had to be offered their freedom after one season cycle had passed. Some stayed much longer, but the offer had to be made each year.”

“So why did Rinatta choose to leave you? Had her love burned out?”

He shook his head and gazed off into the night. “Just the opposite actually. We had a close call, a really close call. It forced us both to admit that we might not be so lucky the next time. Besides, North had grown bored with her. Staying would have meant she made herself available to the other elders. Neither of us wanted that. So I encouraged her to accept her freedom and asked Varrik to cleanse her mind of every memory we’d created.”

“Why? If she truly loved you, she would have wanted to remember.”

“Varrik agreed with you. Rinatta begged him to leave her memory intact, except for the specifics of her captivity of course. I checked on her two or three times a year to make sure she was doing well. The last time I saw her, she was holding an infant and her heart was filled with love. I accepted her happiness and never went back.” He glanced at her and was shocked to see tears shimmering in her eyes. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m not.” She stubbornly swiped her cheek with the back of her hand and looked away from him.

“So back to the beginning of this rambling conversation. When I asked about your mate, I saw something familiar in your eyes. It made me wonder if your love might have been forbidden like Rinatta’s and mine. That’s why I asked if he was your mentor.”

“He wasn’t my mentor, but he was quite a bit older than me.” She didn’t look at him, so he remained quiet, hoping she’d say more. “We both knew better. Fraternizing with other agents was against the rules. We weren’t risking death, but it definitely made the relationship more interesting.” She glanced at him with a wistful smile. “Don’t we always want what we can’t have?”

“How long were you together?” He risked the question after she slipped into silence for several minutes.

“We were lovers, off and on, for three years.”

Another long pause followed, so he prompted her again. “Why did you stop seeing him?”

“I received a promotion he thought he deserved and things got ugly fast. He started the rumor that I’d slept with our boss to secure the promotion.”

“And you couldn’t defend yourself against the allegation without admitting why he was being so vindictive?”

“Exactly. Those who knew me well knew the rumor was bullshit, but it made things extremely awkward. I’m a staunch supporter of the no office romance policy now.”

“I’m sure you are, but knowing your lover valued his occupation more than your affection had to have caused you pain.” He shouldn’t care about the specifics. Why did he keep asking about her past?

“I think it bruised my ego more than my heart. It had been obvious from the start that he was superficial and self-absorbed. That’s why I never put more energy into the relationship. It was a flirtation, nothing more.”

“How long ago did he leave the taskforce?”

“He applied for a transfer three days after my promotion was announced. That was seven, no, eight years ago.”

“And there has been no one special in the past eight years?” How was that possible? Morgan was intelligent, confidant, not to mention the most desirable woman he’d ever seen. Human males should be trampling each other in their haste to claim her.

“It’s not like I’ve gone out of my way to avoid relationships. The taskforce keeps me extremely busy and I move around a lot. The people I interact with on a regular basis are all coworkers, most are my subordinates. I’m rather isolated.”

“I understand isolation better than most.”

She looked at him and smiled, yet sadness still shadowed her gaze. “I suppose you do.”

For a long tense moment they just stared at each other. He wanted to touch her, wanted to find the subject or phrase that would shatter her misconceptions and make her receptive to the attraction pulsing between them. His blunder in the shower was infuriating. Yes he recognized her scent and even more so her taste, but she was worlds away from ready to accept what he sensed. They were enemies. How could they possibly be mates?

“Why did you come to Earth?” She whispered the question as if she were afraid of breaking the spell.

“You know why.”

“I know what the report says, what Lor and the others have told me. I want to hear it from you. What brought you to Earth? What were you hoping to accomplish?”

He sighed and dragged his gaze away from hers. He’d told her enough already and there was so much he was forbidden to say. If she didn’t believe that he was trying to find a new start for his men, then no amount of detail would change her mind.

Her small, cold hand touched his arm and he shivered. “I really want to know. What made you put your trust in Sevrin?”

“I never trusted Sevrin,” he snapped then clenched his teeth. “The Overlord reluctantly took us into the ranks of his soldiers, but most of us are part Rodyte. Ontarians will never trust Rodytes, never really accept them.”

“Go on. What did you do?”

“I started looking for somewhere else to take my tribe, somewhere we could really call home.”

“What’s wrong with Rodymia? You said most of your men are at least part Rodyte.”

“At the moment Rodymia is ruled by Sevrin’s kin. Need I say more?”

“I suppose not.”

“If that changes, I might reconsider. Rodymia is the obvious choice in many ways.”

He would be happy to share his thoughts and explain his actions if her interest were real. But others were protected by the secrets he kept and he couldn’t help thinking she was playing an angle, trying to manipulate him in some way. Still, he was tired of lies, so he told her a stripped-down version of the truth constructed around several significant omissions. “Sevrin’s promises were wild and wonderful. I knew Rodytes had been manipulating DNA for centuries, so I needed to find out how much of what she told us was true. I warned the other alpha hunters not to trust her and to verify everything she said.”

“They didn’t listen to your warnings?”

“They wanted it to be real badly enough that they turned a blind eye to everything else. It didn’t matter that we were Sevrin’s prisoners and that their females were dying.”

“Why didn’t you stop it?” She kept accusation from showing on her face, but it sharpened her tone. “If you knew about the victims, why let it go on?”

“I was gathering evidence against her just like Lor. I was about to turn everything over to him when Sevrin announced we were moving.”

“That would have been a good time to turn yourself in,” she pointed out.

“No it wasn’t. I’d convinced Flynn to spy on her for me.” He scoffed then shook his head. “Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who took advantage of Flynn’s weaknesses.”

“None of that explains why you didn’t shut her down.”

“I wasn’t in a position to ‘shut her down’, but I was determined to get myself into that position. I pissed her off hoping she’d punish my entire team. I needed them not to hunt, but I couldn’t explain why my attitude had suddenly changed or it would have made Sevrin even more suspicious.”

“Did it work? Did she forbid your team from hunting?”

She was firing off questions like a seasoned interrogator, not giving him time to concoct lies. “Yes. And during the move no one hunted, so no one was in danger. The lull gave me time to try to find her new headquarters.”

“Did you find it?” Now her tone was tinged with challenge.

“No. Which was why I didn’t turn myself in. We were your only link to Sevrin. If the Mystic Militia rounded up all the Shadow Assassins, Lor would have abolished any hope he had of finding Sevrin. And Sevrin was the real villain whether anyone on Ontariese wants to admit it or not.”

“They’re not as oblivious as you presume. But it doesn’t change the fact that Shadow Assassins kidnapped human females and those females ended up dead.”

“I agree. Those particular hunters must be punished, but none of them are on my team.”

“No one on Team South hunted the entire time you were here on Earth?” Her disbelief was obvious.

“I knew you wouldn’t believe me. This was a waste of breath.”

Morgan stared at Nazerel’s stubborn profile, not sure what he expected her to say. She wanted to believe him. God knew his story was compelling, but it also seemed a bit convenient. He didn’t trust people in authority, for obvious reasons. If half of what Varrik reported about the elders was true, it was a wonder Nazerel trusted anyone. So it wasn’t farfetched to believe that he’d try to go after Sevrin himself. The events supported his claim. Or his claim had been carefully crafted around the chain of events.

She sighed and drew her legs up closer to her chest. “Are we staying here all night? It’s already pretty cold?”

His gaze narrowed, the expression part glare, part speculation. “Do not move.”

She felt the terrifying weight settle over her muscles and then he flashed out of sight. Each breath was a tremendous effort and she couldn’t even blink her eyes. Suddenly, the sensation passed and strength flowed back into her body.

Holy shit. This was her chance to escape, meager though it might be. She scrambled to her feet and threw off the blanket—and Nazerel returned.

“I must really be tired if the compulsion wore off that quickly.” He moved the blankets out of the way and spread one of the sleeping bags he had bundled in his arms.

“You went to the campsite?”

He just smiled and continued to make their bed. He spread the sheet, the blanket, and finally the second sleeping bag. “This should keep us warm and snugly until morning.”

She was too cold and too frustrated to argue with him. Sitting on the edge of the makeshift bed, she pulled off her boots then crawled between the layers.

A few minutes later he crawled in behind her and pressed himself against her back. One of his arms slipped beneath her neck and the other encircled her waist. “Would you like me to put you to sleep? It could be a long night.”

“No,” she stressed. “Stay out of my head.”

He buried his face in her hair and inhaled.

I sense things, smell things,
taste
things no human can understand.
The memory made her shiver and sent restless longing ricocheting through her body. Surely he hadn’t meant what it sounded like he meant.

“Cold?” He pulled her tighter against him, amplifying the heat coming off his big body.

“What did you mean?” She hadn’t meant to ask, but the question just slipped out.

He chuckled. “You’ll have to be a little more specific.”

“In the shower.” Anxiety tightened her throat and kept her from blurting anything else.

“You know what I meant.” He brushed her hair back and kissed the side of her neck. “I think you might even suspect I’m right. You’re just not ready to admit it.”

She rolled to her back and stared up at him, but the angle of the moon cast his face into deep shadow. All she could see was a faint blue glow coming from his eyes. “I’m attracted to you. As ridiculous as that is, I admit it. But that doesn’t mean—”

He pressed his index finger to her lips, stemming her flow of words. “You’re not ready. I accept that. You don’t need to say any more.”

She turned her head, dislodging his finger. “I will
never
be ready. Do you accept that?”

“I accept that you believe that at this point in time.”

“You’re impossible.” She rolled back to her side and tried to ignore him. It was the only viable option when he was in this mood.

“There are significant advantages for a human when they bond with a Rodyte, especially a Shadow Assassin.”

His tone was so light, so conversational that it made her smile. “Is that so?”

“Would you like to hear what they are?”

“Do I have a choice?”

He leaned in and whispered in her ear. “You can ignore me.”