Rebel Temptress (Historical Romance) (17 page)

"Why should you want to, Jordan? Are you feeling sorry for me again?"

He raised her face and stared down at her. "You are the mother of my son."

"Anyone could have mothered your son, Jordan."

“We need to talk, Honor."

"I know what you want to say, Jordan."

He looked deeply into her green eyes. "I doubt that you do, Honor. I have thought of you so often since the night of our marriage."

She pushed against him. "I do not want to hear any of this, Jordan. I will leave you to pay your respects to your father."

He grabbed her by the shoulders. "Like hell you will. I am going to talk, and you are going to listen."

She did not answer him, but stood looking down at his father's headstone.

His grip tightened. "There are many things wrong between us that need to be put to right."

"No!" Honor said as she pushed his hands away and stepped back a pace. Jordan turned his back to her, and she rushed toward the house as if the devil himself was after her.

12

Aaron had been fed and tucked into bed. Honor had had a hard time getting him to settle down. He was so excited and could talk of nothing but his father. When at last he fell asleep, Honor went downstairs to find the others waiting for her.

Jordan held his arm out to her, and she placed her hand on it as they led the way to the dining room. Meagan sat down beside Jordan and Maggie shook her head in disgust at the way Meagan was trying to monopolize her son's attention. Honor was seated beside her mother-in-law, and she patted Maggie's hand in understanding.

The conversation centered around Meagan and all she had seen in Europe. Jordan noticed the way his mother's eyes lit up when they rested on his wife. His eyes kept going to the other end of the table where Honor was seated. She had directed no words to him, and seemed satisfied to talk to his mother. Jordan was beginning to feel irritated. He did not wish to talk to Meagan, and he resented that his mother and wife seemed to ignore him.

"Maggie, I have a surprise dessert for you tonight,"

Honor told the older woman.

"What is it, dear?" the older woman said, leaning forward.

"Peach cobbler. I know it is your favorite," Honor told her.

"How in the world did you come by peaches? Our trees all died, and I know the peaches I preserved two years ago ran out long ago," Maggie said.

"As you know I went over to the Robertson house today to take Mamie some of Aaron's baby clothes. She was so grateful she gave me three jars of her best peaches."

Maggie smiled brightly. "You are always so good to me, Honor. I could not love you more if I had carried you for nine months and given birth to you myself."

Honor smiled at her fondly. "When love is given, Maggie, it is returned a hundredfold."

When Darcy brought in the peach cobbler, Maggie clapped her hands delightedly and ate the dessert with relish.

Jordan realized that Meagan was talking and he had not followed one word she had said. He had been watching his wife. Her hair was piled on top of her head. The blue gown she wore had seen better days, but on her it did not matter. She was like a breath of spring, a cool drink to a man dying of thirst.

Meagan placed her hand on his arm. "Do you not agree, Jordan?"

He looked at her. The dress she wore had definitely been purchased in Paris. It was expensive, and the low-cut bodice concealed little of her breasts. Jordan felt distaste.

"I am sorry, Meagan, what was it you were saying?"

Meagan looked at him with a pout on her face. "Jordan, what does one have to do to get your attention, stand on her head?"

Jordan laughed. "You would surely have my attention if you did that, Meagan."

"If you will all excuse me," Honor said, placing her napkin on the table and rising, "I want to talk to Chauncey before he goes to bed."

"Wait and I will go with you," Jordan said, starting to rise.

Meagan put a restraining hand on his arm. "Stay for a moment, Jordan. I want to ask your advice about something," she said, smiling at him beguilingly.

Maggie looked at Meagan angrily as she watched Honor leave the dining room, knowing what her daughter-in-law must be feeling. "I also wish to be excused," she said, rising. She was not going to stay and watch the redhead make a fool of her son.

"Jordan, what are we going to do about our situation?" Meagan asked when they were alone.

"What situation is that, Meagan?"

"I know I hurt you, Jordan, but I have paid for my mistake."

"You made no mistake as far as I can see, Meagan."

"You are just saying that because you are still angry with me."

He shoved his dessert dish aside and stood up. "If you will excuse me, I will find my wife," he said, not bothering to look at Meagan.

Meagan watched with a perplexed frown on her face as he left the dining room. It was clear that Jordan intended to make her suffer before he finally forgave her.

* * *

Honor walked back from the stables. One of the plow horses had given birth tonight. She thought how delighted Aaron would be in the morning when she showed him the foal. She walked up the stairs feeling tired and drained. It had been such an emotional day. She opened the nursery door and saw Jordan looking down at his sleeping son.

"He is beautiful, Honor, but I find fatherhood hard to grasp since it was thrust upon me so suddenly. Yet I feel seven feet tall, and so proud of my son."

Aaron stirred in his sleep, and Honor placed her finger to her lips and motioned for Jordan to follow her into the hallway.

He seemed to loom over her in the dimly lit corridor. "Where can we talk, Honor? I looked for you earlier, but no one seemed to know where you were."

"I was in the stables, Jordan. It has been a long day, could we talk tomorrow?"

"No, too much time has passed already." Taking her by the arm, he led her to his bedroom.

Honor tried to pull away from him, fearing what his intentions were.

He opened the door and led her inside. Honor tried to hide the fear that was mirrored in her eyes. Jordan released her and walked over to the balcony, turning his back to her.

"Honor, I want to be your husband. I would like it if you would share this room with me." Since his back was to her, he could not see the fear in her eyes, but he heard her gasp and turned to face her.

"What about Meagan?" she asked.

"Meagan is not here at my invitation, Honor."

"You love her," Honor accused.

He shook his head. "I do not love your sister any longer, Honor. It is you I want."

She looked at him angrily. "You want, Jordan. It is always what you want, isn't it?"

He took a step toward her. "Honor, let me make up to you for our wedding night. I know I hurt you; I will not hurt you again, you have my word."

"I could have stood the physical pain, Jordan, but when you called me by my sister's name, you humiliated and degraded me. I do not want to be intimate with a man who has also been intimate with my sister."

He reached her side and put his hand out to touch her face. "Oh, Honor, Honor, do not shut me out. I will never want Meagan in that way again if you will be a wife to me."

"Is that an ultimatum, Jordan?"

"No, more of a plea from the heart, honey." With soft pressure, he drew her into his arms. "God, you feel good, Honor. I want to make love to you," he whispered as his lips covered hers.

Honor struggled in his arms, overcome with panic. Wrenching away from him, she stepped back, feeling the doorknob behind her.

"Do not touch me!" she cried. "I cannot stand for you to come near me."

Her eyes were wide and frightened, and her chest was rising and falling rapidly. Jordan reached out to her, wanting to reassure her that he would not be as he had been before, but she flinched from his touch.

"Oh, Honor, have I hurt you so badly?"

She fumbled for the doorknob, and finding it, wrenched the door open and ran out into the hallway. She did not stop until she had reached the safety of her own bedroom and bolted the door behind her.

Honor sat down on her bed. Her eyes were dry. She did not cry. Feeling sick at her stomach, she ran to the washpan that stood on a small table and retched.

Later she lay awake listening to the stillness of the house. She had been frightened of Jordan, and yet there had been more to it than just fright. She had felt repelled by his touch.

Jordan stood in his open doorway, staring at his wife's door. He had not fully understood how much Honor resented him. He noticed a light coming from the crack underneath his mother's door, and knowing she was still awake, he walked across the hallway and rapped softly on her door. Maybe his mother could tell him more about Honor and help him better understand what she felt for him.

Jordan listened quietly as his mother told him of the Yankee occupation of Landau, and how the enemy major had not allowed Honor to visit his parents and had only allowed them to visit Honor the one time. Maggie finished by telling her son how Honor had saved Green Rivers by sacrificing Landau.

"She has been very good to me, son, and I will not sit by and watch you and Meagan destroy her. If you cannot love Honor, although I cannot see how you could help yourself, think of your son."

"I do not want to hurt her, Mother."

"Open your eyes. Can you not see that you are paying more attention to Meagan than to your own wife?"

Jordan shrugged his shoulders.  "I could care less about Meagan."

"Do you care for Honor?" Maggie asked, her eyes brightening.

Jordan lowered his head in his hands. "She is all I have thought about these past three years."

"Yet you did not even try to communicate with her."

"I can see that was a mistake. If only I had known about Aaron."

His mother's eyes squinted in the dim lamplight. "Sometimes you are very selfish, Jordan. If I thought you would hurt Honor, I would ask you to leave this house right now."

Jordan smiled. "Honor has found a champion in my own mother."

"Heed my words, Jordan. I know what you are capable of. You are my son and I love you, but I am not blind to your faults."

Jordan stood up and kissed his mother on the cheek, then walked to the door. "I will not hurt Honor, Mother."

It was a promise, and he intended to keep it.

* * *

The next morning when Honor went into the study she found Jordan at the desk going over the accounts. When he saw her he smiled and offered her a seat. When she was seated he sat on the edge of the desk and studied her face.

"I can see by the account books that you have done an excellent job running Green Rivers. I am amazed by your accomplishments."

"It is no more than you would have done had you been home."

He smiled. "Coming from you, I consider that a compliment." Then he frowned. "I am sorry you lost Landau. I would buy it back for you if I had the means."

"It no longer matters, Jordan." She could have added that nothing mattered very much anymore.

"It matters to me, Honor. I trust you have kept an accurate account of the moneys you have spent on Green Rivers, so I can reimburse you one day."

"I do not want the money back, Jordan. I did it for Aaron and Maggie."

He wanted to ask her if she had also done it for him, but instead he said: "I am home now. I will take the burden of Green Rivers from your small but capable shoulders."

Honor felt as if he was cutting her apart. She had managed the plantation for so long, and before that Landau Plantation. What would she do now?

"My mother told me that Landau was occupied by enemy forces while you were still there. Did you suffer at their hands, Honor?"

"No, the major who was in charge was very kind to me. He even had one of his own physicians attend me when Aaron was born."

"I do not like being indebted to a Yankee," Jordan said fiercely.

"Major O'Roarke is the kindest man I have ever known," Honor told him, not realizing her voice softened.

Jordan frowned.

"Adam is a farmer from Boston. He had a feel for the land and instructed his men to respect my property."

Jordan stood up as his face lost its color.

"Adam? You dare to call that damn Yankee major by his first name?" He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her violently. "Just what went on between you and this man, Honor?" he demanded, releasing her abruptly.

"He was kind to me when I needed a friend."

"How friendly was he, Honor?"

"You dare to ask this of me, Jordan?" she said, her green eyes spitting fire.

"Maybe you are more like your sister than I realized," he said hotly.

She struck him hard across the face and the room became silent as he looked at her in stunned silence.

"How dare you say this to me, Jordan, you who cannot keep your hands off my sister since you have been home." She was so angry she found great satisfaction in seeing the red handprint on his cheek.

"He made love to you, Honor," Jordan accused.

"No man has ever made love to me, Jordan, with the exception of yourself. Funny, I remember thinking at the time how strange it was that an act so violent could be called making love."

He winced as if she had struck him again. "This has been one hell of a homecoming, Honor."

She almost felt sorry for him in that moment. Momentarily, she thought of him as he had once seemed to her—tall and handsome enough to steal a young girl's heart away.

"It has not been pleasant for any of us, Jordan. I had a lot of time last night to consider our situation. I know you still love my sister. I would not stand in your way if you want to be with her. I know one cannot help where one loves. I am willing to give you your freedom. Of course, there is Aaron. I do not know what to do about him."

"I will never give you up," he said in a deadly voice. "Never ask it of me again. As for your sister, I once fancied myself in love with her. Now I know it was physical attraction and nothing more." He reached for Honor and drew her into his arms, resting his face against her hair. "You smell so sweet and clean."