Rebirth (Rogues Shifter Series) (15 page)

But I was also drawn to what I sensed inside of him: his hones
ty and his compassion. Strange qualities in a vampire, not that I knew much about the undead, but probably not so strange in a shapeshifter. When he was changed he must have retained much of his shifter self. I wondered why he’d decided to change at all.

But t
here was something more that attracted me to him, so I tried to puzzle it out as he drove. He
got
me. We were connected on some deeper level, maybe because he’d saved my life and given me blood, or because we could both connect to the magic. Or maybe there was something else.

I
got
him too. Hidden behind the professional calm or the occasional arrogant act, there was pain and self doubt. Something inside of him was broken. He was a rogue as much as any of us. I suddenly felt an overwhelming desire to touch him, to mend him. Instead, I clasped my hands tightly together in my lap.

“What are you thinking about? You seem a million miles away.” His smile was warm and his eyes crinkled up in the corners in my favorite way.

I took a deep breath and began, not wanting to put it off any longer. “Something happened this morning that freaked me and Ethan out. I had a crazy dream and we woke up to things flying around the room. I decided that I didn’t have any choice but to tell Ethan about my abilities. I didn’t mention anything private about you,” I added quickly.

Garrett pulled the car to the side of the road and turned it o
ff. He faced me, giving me his full attention, and said quietly, “Tell me what happened.”

I told him first about my dream and then about the smashed windows. I ended with everything I’d told Ethan and his promi
se not to tell anyone. As I spoke, I tried to stay calm, but the thunderous thumping of my heart was probably waking the occupants of the nearby cemetery.

As if reading my mind he said, “Your heart is racing
. Are you still afraid of me?” His expression was sad as it often was these days.

I thought for a moment a
bout how to answer him.“I’ve never been afraid that you’d hurt me, only that I'll disappoint you and you won’t keep training me. I need your help.”

"I’m not going to stop training you. I want you to be able to protect yourself
and the team." His eyes burned into me. “You're blushing, Jackie. Are you troubled by something I've done? You can tell me anything.”

Taking in a slow
breath, I decided to go for it. “When I’m with you I feel—I feel kind of amazing.” Okay, that was lame, but since his expression hadn't changed, I went on anyway. "I know that you're not glamouring me, because I feel the same way about you even when my wall is up." I gave him a shy smile, hoping he'd respond in some way.

Still no reaction. I sighed and plunged ahead
, figuring that I couldn’t be any more embarrassed than I was already. “I know that this is one-sided and that you're not attracted to me." I lifted my chin, trying to drum up some more courage. "I won’t let my feelings for you get in the way of working with the team.” Jeez, could I sound any more pathetic?

I was praying he wasn't going to turn the car around when he finally spoke.

His voice was a sad whisper. “As Sinc said, the mission comes first.” I nodded, trying to figure out what he meant by that. Sitting so close to him in the car was not helping me relax. I tried to open my window, but then realized the windows were electric and the car was turned off. Breathing in his scent was making me hot and not just because of the car’s temperature. I sat trembling in the seat, looking down at my hands, wishing I’d kept my mouth shut about how I felt.

“Jackie, p
lease look at me.” I bit my lip and  turned. His beautiful face was mere inches away from mine, his intelligent eyes sucking me in like a whirlpool. “You did the right thing telling Ethan. I’ll talk to him about it. Tonight we'll work on ways you can block the line energy when you sleep and dream. It shouldn’t happen again.”

He sighed, tur
ning away and looking worried. “As for the other, you’re wrong when you say I don’t feel the same way. I'm incredibly drawn to you. Since I met you in the cabin on the island, I've thought of little else. Perhaps it's the blood or the magical connection between us, I'm not sure. You’re a courageous and compassionate person. I'm sure many males will feel the same."

His eyes looked at me so sadly that
it made me want to weep. “It doesn’t matter how we feel, because I’m not right for you. My lifestyle is dangerous and I have many enemies. I feed on shifters. I kill violently when I have to. You’ve seen firsthand what I’m capable of doing in a fit of rage. You’re young. You’ll find another shifter who won’t put your life in danger. I’m not a good choice for you and I won’t put you at risk.”

After I heard the words, ‘incredibly drawn to you”, I blocked out the rest and started inching closer to him, staring at those perfect lips, loving the way they moved when he spoke, wondering how they’d taste when I finally got close enough. I placed my hand on
his arm, felt the firm muscles beneath his shirt and started tugging him closer. I mean here was my chance and I wasn’t going to spend the rest of my life regretting that I never had the guts to go for it.

He just kept talking and talking about how bad he was for me and how I should stay away fr
om him when we weren’t training—blah, blah, yada, yada. I just kept inching closer and tugging him toward me until I was only about ten inches away. That’s when I struck, throwing my arms around his neck and kissing him for all I was worth. He was startled and pushed me away roughly. I slid across the seat, hitting the back of my head against the window.

“Ow,” I said rubbing the bump that was sure to form and suddenly he was there rubbing it for me, looking a little angry and a little scared.

“What - are - you - thinking? His voice almost cracked. “Did you hear one word of what I said? I hurt you just now.” He looked so concerned. It made me smile.

“I heard you say that you were drawn to me too. Anyway, it was my own fault; I kind of snuck up on you.” Because he was so close, right where I wanted him, I reached up and touched a thick strand of his hair which had fallen over his eyes. It was soft silk and shined in the moonlight and smelled sweet and delicious. He grabbed my hand meaning to push it away, but instead he held it trapped in his as we stared at each other. I felt his fingers twine themselves around mine as his eyes traveled slowly from
my eyes to my lips to my neck. His chest rose as he breathed in my scent and I wondered for the first time what I smelled like to him.

Dots of silver popp
ed in his lovely blue eyes. He leaned closer to me and whispered. “You have no idea." His voice was so soft and sexy and his breath on my neck sent tiny shivers down my body. My heart was beating like a frightened rabbit's, only it wasn’t fear that made it jump around.

“Vampires, weres, shifters, we’re all very territorial.
Once we lay claim to something, or someone, we'll kill to keep it. We don’t share.” He hesitantly reached out and touched my hair, moving a stray lock behind my ear. “Any relationship between us would have to be exclusive. Is Ethan more than a friend or a team member to you? You seem very close.”

I took a few moments and thought about Ethan. Did he
have strong feelings for me? I loved him like a brother or a best friend, but never more than that. Garrett stayed frozen in place waiting for my answer. No longer breathing, his face was strung tight with tension.

“I don’t know for sure how Ethan feels about me.
I care about him, but I’m not attracted to him—the way I am to you. He’s never tried to kiss me or anything.” I felt my face flame again and looked down. “I can still work with Ethan and the team; it won’t be a problem for me.” I bit my lip for courage and tentatively touched Garrett’s silent chest while my heart continued its frantic drumming. His hand holding mine felt cool tonight and instinctively, I knew he hadn’t fed before he came to the cottage earlier.

I looked back into his eyes and found the courage to be honest. “I want to be with you.” I was shocked by the intensity of my feelings, amazed by my brazenness. I wasn’t acting like the old unsure Jackie, yet I’d never felt more like myself.

“You’re a seventeen year old girl.” He shook his head and moved away, staring out the windshield. “You don’t know what you want or who you want to be with.”

That pissed me off a little so I pushed on his shoulder and he turned his head to look at me again. “Don’t patronize me. You think I don’t know what I want?  You don’t know me at all, then. I’ve been through a lot more than most women my age or older. Anyway, back in your day, women were married off at 14.” I scowled.

He saw that I was irritated with his attitude so he tried to lighten the mood a little. “Ah, yes, the good old days when we could sell our wives for a few cows or beat them daily if it pleased us.“  He smiled teasingly and turned toward me, indicating his hair, clothes and his car. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m up to date with the customs of modern civilization.”

I smiled and let go of my anger, reaching out to gently stroke his hand with my fingers. “I have to warn you. Rob told me that I have a strong will. I don’t give up when I set my sights on something.” I rested my hand on top of his and felt him slowly wrap his fingers around mine, all the time staring at me, trying to gage the truth of my words. His expression was mixed:  desire in his eyes but hi
s mouth turned down with worry.

Feeling brave I asked a question I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer to. “What about you? Are you free? You said you had people tha
t you fed from, are they your—your lovers?” I looked down at my hands, expecting to hear the worst.

“Vampires obviously feed to survive, but feeding isn’t erotic unless both partners want it to be. I haven’t had a serious relationship with a woman for a long time. I’m considered a fr
eak; a shifter turned vampire. Not a particularly desirable long term mate. Casual short term relationships don’t really interest me.”

He turned my face toward his with a gentle touch and I wat
ched specks of silver glisten in his eyes. “You have to understand that this isn’t like human dating. If we do this, then I’m claiming you as mine. It doesn’t have to be for always. You’ll probably find that dealing with the reality of what I am is too difficult. This
claiming
is just a way of committing to remain exclusive while we’re together. We can’t be together any other way.”

I nodded and smiled shyly at him, then almost laughed. I mean was he kidding? Who'd want to trade in a Ferrari for a Hyundai?

“Will you still be able to work with me as your trainer?” He was stalling, trying to convince me that I shouldn't choose him, yet I knew he wanted me. My inner cheetah purred.

“Yes
.” I smiled and grabbed his shirt, tugging on it to try to bring him closer. This time he came willingly. “So in order for us to kiss each other, you have to claim me?” I smiled widely, amazed that this beautiful, elegant man cared for me and even more amazed that I felt comfortable enough around him to be honest about how I felt. I flashed on maybe looking in the mirror, afraid that I'd see someone else staring back at me. I was so not acting like my old self. It was liberating.

“That’s the deal.” He arched an eyebrow and smiled, obviously amused by my question.

“And then I can only kiss you and you can only kiss me, right?"

"Yes." He laughed.

"Then claim away.”

A gorgeous grin spread slowly across his face, making him lose the serious, mature expression he usually wore and look like
the young male he would always be. He took a moment to play with a thick strand of my blonde hair. “Would you like to guess what my animal was when I first changed?”

I knew as
soon as he asked. “A cheetah.”

And there it was: the other reason I’d spiraled toward him from the moment I’d met him on the island. He’d even said it himself when he was talking about Ethan finding a nice cougar to settle down with. We’re attracted to our own and he was one of mine.

He pulled me even closer. His delicious scent filled the small space. One hand came to rest gently on my hip, the other traveled to behind my head, weaving long fingers through my hair. “Are you sure?” I nodded, never taking my eyes from his so he would know it was the truth.

He leaned in to whisper in my ear, “Jacqueline
Crawford, I claim you as my mate”. He pulled my mouth to his and kissed me very gently, almost unsure, his vulnerability making my heart ache and my body catch on fire. Pulling away from me he checked my expression one last time for any doubts I might have, but all he saw was me smiling with an unrestrained joy.

"And I claim you, Garrett Cuvier," I whispered. It was good to clear that up right from the start.

He laughed softly and ran a gentle hand down my face, his eyes sparkling with tiny silver gems, his nose taking in my scent as if it was his first meal in centuries. When he kissed me again, there was nothing tentative about it at all.

Chapter Twenty

Several kisses later, when I tried to unbutton his shirt, Garrett stopped me, grabbing my hand. “We have work to do tonight so you don’t smash any more windows, although I may not complain if you hit Ethan on the head with a lamp.” His hair was a little mussed where I'd dug my fingers into it and his e
yes were streaked with silver; a sign of strong emotion, he'd once explained. I was flushed and tingling all over and really didn’t want to stop, so I stretched over to kiss him again.