Reckless (51 page)

I tried to speak above the rain, but my voice felt hollow. “Kellan.”

He heard me and swung his head my way. His eyes lowered to take in the dual headstone at my feet. I watched him inhale a calming breath, then step toward me. It could have been the cold, but he
was trembling when he reached my side. He stared at the grave with blank eyes. Without a word, he squatted before them. He brushed his fingers over his mother’s name, then his father’s.
Then he placed his hand on the wet grass right in front of their gravestone and closed his eyes.

Even though the rain was pouring around us, spilling down his cheeks, I saw the telltale tracks of tears leaking from his eyes. I placed my hand on his shoulder in silent support. When Kellan
opened his eyes, they were watery, and I had to force down the knot in my throat. How long would these people continue to hurt him? Tenderly, lovingly, Kellan placed a bouquet of flowers under each
name. The significance broke my heart. After everything they’d done to him, every hurtful word, every brutal attack, after making him feel unworthy of any sort of affection . . . he still
loved them. I’d thought “Beloved Parents” was a strange sentiment to have on their headstone, but maybe it wasn’t. Right or wrong, deserving or undeserving, their son
had
loved them.

In a voice almost drowned out by the rain, Kellan said his goodbye to them. “I’m sorry I wasn’t what you wanted, what you needed.” His eyes drifted to his mother’s
name. “I’m sorry I ruined everything for you.” They shifted to his father’s. “For both of you.” He exhaled a shaky breath, raindrops exploding from his lips.
“I wish things had been different for us, but . . . wishing doesn’t change anything. So, I just wanted to say goodbye . . . and—” He swallowed; his face held so much pain,
it took everything inside me to not start sobbing. “I love you both.”

When Kellan finally stood, he sniffed and his jaw quivered. I wrapped my arms around his waist, comforting him as best I could while swallowing back my tears. He held me close, his eyes still on
his parents. After another moment of silence, he asked, “Do you think they would be proud of me? Even just a little?”

His voice broke, and I squeezed him tighter. I considered breaking our all-honesty pact and lying to him, because how could I possibly tell him what I really thought about his asshole parents?
But I didn’t. Instead, I told him, “I don’t know . . . but
I
am so proud of you. For everything you’ve done, for what you just did.”

I couldn’t stop the tears then as sympathy for him overwhelmed me. Seeing me fall apart made him fall apart. He nodded, trying to keep it together, but then his fingers went to his eyes,
and a small sob escaped him. I drew his head down to my shoulder, and he clutched me tight. Burying his face in my neck, he cried—cried for what he’d endured, for what he’d lost,
and for what he’d never had.

When we were both emotionally spent, Kellan rested his head against mine. The rain had eased along with Kellan’s tears, and only a light drizzle was falling on us now. “I love you,
Kiera . . . so much.”

I brought my lips up to his, tasting his tears along with the rain. There was a peaceful solemnity around us as we kissed—no birds chirping in the sky, no cars driving by, just the light
splashing of rain falling from sodden leaves that could no longer hold the weight. The silence was cathartic.

An unnatural flash of light got my attention. I thought it was the sun finally showing itself, maybe glinting off the metallic foil of a nearby bouquet, but there was a familiar whirring and
clicking sound that went with this odd ray of light. Breaking apart, Kellan and I simultaneously looked over to see a man near a clump of trees taking our picture. Some ambitious paparazzi must
have followed our cab out here, hoping to get the money shot. And he had. That photograph of Kellan kissing me in the rain would go for thousands, I was sure.

Kellan’s face twisted into irritated disbelief. “You have got to be kidding me.”

My compassion for Kellan’s pain mixed with my feeling of isolated frustration. The combination shifted and morphed into a blazing inferno of anger. I was so done with all of this
pseudo-drama. The Kell-Sex supporters, the media, and Nick and Sienna could kiss my ass! And so could this man who was interrupting a very private moment.

Hands clenched into fists, I started stalking over to him. He liked that. His camera clicked even faster. “Have you no common decency! We are at a freaking cemetery!” I tossed my
hands in Kellan’s direction. “The man is clearly grieving! Show some goddamn respect!”

I was only a few feet away from the man now. He was grinning ear to ear, loving every single second of me going off on him. I could practically see the dollar signs in his eyes. It boiled my
blood. He wouldn’t be so amused when I smashed that pretty camera into little tiny pieces. I started to lunge for him, but Kellan grabbed my arm.

“No, don’t—”

The cameraman shifted his attention to Kellan. “You stepping out on Sienna? This your dirty little mistress, Kellan?”

Kellan swung me behind him and shoved his finger in the photographer’s chest. “She is
not
my mistress! You watch your fucking mouth!”

Still snapping pictures, the man backed up a step or two. “Sure looks like you’re banging this bitch behind Sienna’s back. Can’t hide your little secret anymore. I got
you, man! Gotcha red-handed! Your little slut is about to make headlines!”

Kellan smirked. The photographer probably thought he was amused, but I knew better. He was ticked. He was beyond ticked. He was three seconds away from clocking the guy. Fists clenched, he swung
his weight around and landed his knuckles along the man’s jaw. Oops—make that one second away from clocking the guy.

The photographer lost his balance and landed on his hip, hard. His camera fell from his hands, but being attached to his neck, unfortunately it didn’t break. Quickly recovering, the man
scooped it up and resumed taking photos. “You just fucked up, man! I’m suing your ass for assault now!” Even though there was blood trailing down his chin from a cut on his lip,
the man was smiling.

Kellan took a step forward, but I pulled him back. This could quickly escalate way past assault if I didn’t get Kellan out of here. “Come on. He’s not worth it,
Kellan.”

Kellan’s eyes swung to mine. “He’s got your picture.”

I sighed and shook my head. “Then he’s got my picture. It’s not worth getting arrested over.”

Reluctantly, Kellan let me pull him away from the man who was now giggling at our misfortune. Venom in his voice, Kellan snapped, “You’re scum, you know that, right?”

The man shouted back, “I’m not the one dicking around on the hottest girl in the world! What the hell are you thinking!”

Turning away from him, Kellan muttered, “I’m married to the hottest girl in the world, and I would never dick around on her, asshole.”

Even though my body felt numb with cold dread, I looped my arm around Kellan’s waist and smiled up at him. “Maybe it wasn’t the smartest move . . . but I’m so glad you
decked that guy.”

Putting his arm around me, Kellan looked back at the man still taking our picture. “Me too.”

Holding our heads high, the two of us walked back to our taxi. All of my attempts to keep myself out of the spotlight were in vain; I was out now. Thanks to that jerk-off’s high-grade
telephoto lens, my intimate moment with Kellan was about to be front page news. They would all know my face. My anonymity was gone, along with a good chunk of my freedom. I couldn’t hide in
plain sight, not anymore. The crazy, obsessed Kell-Sex fans were all going to know about me. It was only a matter of time.

When we got back to the venue, I thought we’d be hustling into the warmth and safety of our bus. But Kellan had other plans. Holding my hand, he led us to Sienna’s
bus. I tensed—not sure if I wanted to go in there—but Kellan’s face was as stormy as the low-hanging clouds in the sky, and I knew I couldn’t miss this confrontation.

Calling Sienna’s name, Kellan pounded on her door. Just as I began to believe that she was out, or waiting for the show to start at our swanky hotel, Thing 1 opened the bus door. After
eying us for any visible weapons, he stood aside to let us in. Once I walked inside, I wondered why Sienna ever left this place. It was luxury on wheels. Smooth leather couches lined the sides of
the front half of the bus. The back of the bus had plush reclining seats facing a giant TV. There was a full kitchen off to the side, and from what I could tell, no sleeping cubbies. I was positive
that Sienna’s room in the back was finer than most studio apartments. I suddenly felt like I’d been living in squalor these last few weeks.

Sienna was draped across one of the couches reading a fashion magazine. She looked up at our entrance. “Kellan, Kiera, what a nice surprise.” Her eyes darted to the window, most
likely checking for photographers. “What can I help you with this fine afternoon?”

Kellan stormed over to stand right in front of her. Thing 2 rose from his recliner in the back, clearly not liking the look on Kellan’s face. “Did you set us up?”

I snapped my eyes to Kellan, not realizing he’d jumped to that conclusion. It was a completely plausible scenario, though, and I shifted my gaze to stare at Sienna. Had she set us up?
Sienna tilted her head, confusion on her comely face. “What on earth are you talking about? And did the two of you take a fully clothed shower? You’re absolutely soaked.” She
snapped a finger and put her hand over her shoulder. On command, her bodyguard brought her towels from a closet in the hallway. She handed them to us while Kellan answered her question.

“Kiera and I were ambushed by some asshole with a camera. I ended up clocking him, but not before he snapped Kiera’s picture.”

Sienna gave him a knowing smirk. “Those little insects can be quite intrusive, can’t they? Well, don’t worry too much about hitting him. I’ll have my people take care it.
Toss them enough money, and nine times out of ten the paparazzi won’t seek legal damages.”

While I squeezed the water out of my hair, Kellan narrowed his eyes. “You tip him off?”

Sienna pouted as her dark eyes searched his face. “I had no idea where you went. How could I possibly give someone your location, if I didn’t know it?”

Kellan’s eyes narrowed as he studied her. “I never know if you’re telling me the truth, or if you’re feeding me bullshit.” I hid my smile. I never knew that either.
And, just for that reason alone, I knew Sienna would never have him. Even if something happened to me tomorrow, and the pathway to his heart was clear, Kellan would never date someone that he
couldn’t trust.

Ready to leave, Kellan tossed our towels on the couch and pulled me toward the door. Seemingly irritated, Sienna reiterated, “I had nothing to do with this. I’m not some mastermind
out to sabotage your relationship. I just roll with whatever life gives me, and I suggest that the both of you learn to do the same.”

Kellan looked back at her, fire in his eyes. “If I find out you had anything to do with this, we’re done. I will pack up my shit and walk away from this tour, and I don’t give
a fuck what Nick does to me. Let him sue me for breach of contract. I won’t be played anymore.”

Later that night, I stayed in the dressing room when Kellan took to the stage, choosing to listen to him through the speakers but not watch him. I had too much on my mind. The photo was going to
be out in a few hours, by the morning at the latest. The buzz when the sun rose in the sky would be so loud, it would probably wake me up. My stomach clenched. God, I hated being the center of
attention—this was worse than every first day of school, new job, interview, birthday party, and graduation jitter I’d ever had. Walking down the aisle suddenly seemed like a piece of
cake.

The loss of my anonymity affected me physically. It was as if I’d been wrapped in a windproof, fleece-lined, down-filled, zero-temperature blanket, sheltered from the cold, protected, and
safe—and then I’d had that blanket ripped from my skin. I felt bare, exposed, raw, chilled to the bone. Kellan was a private person too. Was this how he felt, talking about his life to
complete strangers? Maybe, but he had the love and admiration of his fans to keep him warm. I wasn’t going to get a rosy reception from them. I was a roadblock to Kellan, and from all
I’d seen, the fans either wanted him with Sienna, or they wanted him for themselves. There was no third option.

I couldn’t control how the fans reacted to me, but I knew that how
I
reacted to this was my choice. I could keep hiding away, never setting foot outside the bus, and hope that the
drama died down soon. Or I could take a stand and proudly walk beside my husband. This kind of exposure was the last thing I’d ever wanted, but I didn’t feel like hiding anymore. Kellan
and I had worked too hard to get together, to stay together. I didn’t want to go back to square one. I didn’t want to feel ashamed over what we had. I loved what we had. I felt like
screaming to the entire world that Kellan was mine, and he always had been.

Jenny and Rachel were watching the boys perform, since they were flying back to Seattle early tomorrow morning. Anna was keeping me company . . . sort of. Crashed out in a comfortable chair, her
mouth was open and she was slightly snoring as she took a power nap. I guess her afternoon with Griffin had worn her out. Knowing that either way Kellan and I handled this shit-storm heading our
way, tomorrow was going to be different than today, I nudged my sister awake.

She startled and looked around, murmuring, “I’m up, Mom.” Blinking, she glanced up at me. “Kiera? What the hell time is it?” By the look on her face, you’d
think it was three in the morning.

“It’s still early, the guys are still onstage.”

She laid her head back and closed her eyes. “Then why the hell did you wake me up?” She gave me a crooked smile. “Johnny Depp was massaging my feet.”

I smiled at my sister, then remembered what I wanted to do. “Tomorrow is going to . . . well, suck. So I wanted to do something tonight, while I’m still relatively unknown.”
Anna cracked her eye open, and I added, “I need to do something. Will you come with me?”