Reckless (Renegades #1) (15 page)

He looked down at his phone and read the message Lexi had finally sent around five p.m.

LEXI: Sorry it took me so long to answer. The meeting went long—you know how women can talk—I went shopping after, picked up a surprise for you and then fell asleep when I should have been working. Thank you for leaving your jacket. I napped in it—naked of course. Can’t stop thinking about you. Can’t wait to hear about your exciting day. I’ll be waiting.

At the end of the message, she gave him her cell number, one he could actually see on his phone, and said she’d removed the secretive application that had hidden it from view.

“Shit,” he whispered and dropped his head back against the seat.

There were half a dozen sweet comments in that one message. And now every damn one was tainted by the revelation of just how instantly recognizable he still was. He had to either confront the issue head-on or drop it and let things play out, and he couldn’t decide which.

He hadn’t told Ty about the message. Had been looking for an opportunity to get Russ alone, but when he’d found himself standing at the cooler with the man, chatting about the loss of the Bond contract, Jax hadn’t been able to bring Lexi up.

He pocketed his phone and looked out the window again. The sun was setting. Jax was exhausted. His muscles ached. His ass was killing him. Sex would be an interesting proposition, though he’d make it work if…

If what?

“This is ridiculous.”

He rested his elbow on the edge of the window and his forehead in his hand. He made small circles on his temples. Twenty-four hours ago, he hadn’t even been interested in fucking anyone. Twelve hours ago, he was perfectly fine with a simple one-night stand. Now he was considering
not
sleeping with a woman who’d kept him hard all day because of the possibility she knew who he was?

“I’m insane.”

He pressed his fingers to his eyes. He was just tired. Stressed. Still reeling over what Veronica had done. Hell, hard to put it behind him when everyone kept bringing it up. What difference did it make if Lexi wanted something from him, anyway? She was great. It wouldn’t kill him to introduce her to someone or help her out in some other way.

“Fuck.” The thought made his stomach knot.

Yeah, actually, it would. What would kill him was knowing she’d come on to him with the favor in mind, not because she’d been attracted to
him
. He was sick of being used. Worse, of being fooled into being used.

The car slowed, and Jax decided he’d let things play out. Take everything one step at a time.

He tipped the driver and dragged his filthy, sweaty self through the pristine, marbled lobby. He felt like a snail leaving a trail and darted self-conscious glances toward the sunken lounge and dimly lit bar. A number of beautiful women dressed the tables, a few of those blonde. But of course he had no way of knowing if any were Lexi.

He vowed to take the stairs if anyone else got on the elevator with him. No use in subjecting others to this sight or smell—but the car was empty, and Jax stepped in. He glanced at his reflection on the mirrored wall, winced at the grime, the way his hair stuck out all over, the cut on his forehead, then turned and hit number seven.

At his room, he slipped his key card into the door, turned the handle, then paused. This was where Lexi had stood a little less than twelve hours before. She’d been nervous, he’d been sure of it at the time. Now he wondered if he’d been projecting his nerves onto her. Or if she’d been reading him and playing off those nerves to see if he’d respond to them.

“I’m a lunatic.” Jax pushed open the door, forcing his mind away from what he’d done to Lexi right there in the hall that morning. He flipped on the light and tossed his key card on the side table while glancing at the sofa, commanding his mind not to remember what Lexi had done to him right there.

Which, of course, didn’t work. He saw her shadow lower to her knees. Saw her head between his legs. Blood roared that direction.

He growled, pried his gaze away from the sofa, and turned toward the bedroom while stripping off his T-shirt. Pulling it over his head, he sighed, anticipating the feel of the shower. He tossed his shirt on the bed but was already dragging clean, folded clothes from his freshly washed duffle, which the staff had set on the dresser.

Something crinkled when his shirt landed.

Jax turned and lifted his shirt. A paper bag indented the comforter. A handwritten note on the front in ink said,
In case you didn’t get time to eat. ~ Lex

She must have had the staff deliver it, the same way he’d had them deliver his jacket.
A painful, tingling burn erupted high in his chest, as if he’d been stung by bees, and the emotion that followed tightened his throat. He blinked quickly to clear his eyes, reached down, and dumped the contents of the bag on the white down comforter.

An apple, a protein bar, cashews, a small plastic container of fresh blueberries, and a four-piece box of Godiva chocolates.

Warmth spread through his body as he stood and stared at the food. He huffed a pathetic laugh and murmured, “This is what it feels like?”

Or what it
would
feel like if it were real. To have a woman think of him during the day. Anticipate his needs and fill them before he even realized they would be needs. This was what it would feel like to know he mattered to a woman. Really mattered.

Jax ate the cashews while the shower water warmed and he undressed. Took the blueberries into the enclosure with him and devoured them while the hot water pounded his muscles. He tossed the carton into the sink across the room and dropped his head back under the spray. With the edge of his hunger sated, relief streaming through his muscles, and a beautiful woman waiting for him, a deep sense of…rightness filled Jax. A sense of comfort. A sense of peace. A sense of… He opened his eyes. Water droplets dripped off his lashes.

Happiness. Deep happiness.

“Don’t set yourself up, dumbshit.”

If nothing else, Lexi had shown him what he was striving for. Now, at least, he knew what it looked like—metaphorically speaking. Knew what it felt like—or could feel like.

He dried off and pulled on clean underwear and jeans. Drying his hair with one hand, Jax sat on the bed and picked up his phone. He tapped Lexi’s name, and options came up. Instead of texting her, he hit the button to dial and held the phone up to his ear.

On the third ring, the phone picked up, and a soft, sleepy, female voice said, “Hello?”

Jax opened his mouth to speak and found his throat closed.

“Hello?” Lexi said again, more alert this time. More query in her voice.

“Hey,” Jax finally got out, then swallowed and shook his head at himself. “It’s Jax.”

“Hi…” She drew out the word, her voice lifting with pleasure and surprise. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting to hear your voice. What a nice surprise. I…” She laughed softly. “Fell asleep again. I haven’t slept this much in months. Sexual satisfaction seems to do a lot for me.”

Jax couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

She let out a long, languid sigh and moaned softly. Jax pictured her—as much of her as he could picture—rolling around on a bed just like the one Jax sat on, in nothing but his leather jacket, stretching the sleep from her gorgeous body.

“That’s a nice visual. Still in my jacket?” he asked.

“Yes. God, it smells so good. Like you and leather.”

A hot streak of lust speared his belly and stung his spine. Jax clenched his teeth to hold in a moan and dropped his head back to stare at the ceiling. If he saw her now, there would be no talking. His mouth would be way too busy tasting her body. He licked his lips, and the mint of toothpaste made him think of the snacks he’d eaten before he’d brushed his teeth.

“Thanks for the food. I was starving when I got back. It was perfect.”

“I’m glad. Did you just get in?”

“About twenty minutes ago. Just out of the shower.” He had to force himself to say, “Are you hungry? Do you want to get something to eat?” when he really wanted to order her to his room.

“I’m starving.” The tone behind those words said exactly what she was starving for, and Jax’s already half-hard cock swelled against his jeans. “But what I’m hungry for can only be found on the other end of this phone.”

“Lex.” He groaned her name. “You’re too good to be true.”

“No,” she said, her tone deflating. “Unfortunately, I’m not. But it’s nice to have the opportunity to show my better side.”

He didn’t know what that meant, but he didn’t want to talk about it over the phone anymore. And he didn’t want to argue to get her here. He wanted to look into her eyes, wanted to see her smile, wanted to watch pleasure wash over her face. But even though they’d already been so very intimate, not seeing each other kept a personal distance. There was something unique and connecting about a person’s face. No two people looked exactly alike, after all. And expressions told a lot about what was happening on the inside, in the private spaces.

Jax didn’t know if that was why she didn’t want him to see her, or if she thought he’d recognize her, or if she had some kind of deformity or scar she didn’t want to show. But he knew that if she wasn’t going to change her mind about seeing him in LA, he didn’t need her face haunting him. Especially given these strange, intense feelings he’d developed for her.

He’d get her here, then decide if he should try to chip away at the last barrier between them or not.

“The door’s unlocked, bathroom light is the only one on, door is open halfway. Don’t even think about negotiating,” he said before she could speak. “This morning was…amazing. Exciting, hot, mind-blowing, but I’d like to at least be able to see shadows of your gorgeous body.”

He pressed his lips together, closed his eyes, and waited.

Lexi hesitated. “Okay. I’ll be right up.”

She disconnected, and Jax lowered the phone, staring at the floor.
Okay?
Christ, he didn’t know what to expect from this woman anymore. He set his phone on the dresser and moved around the suite, turning off lights, opening the door a crack. The curtains were open, but the sheers were closed, filtering the city lights. Jax pulled out a chair from the dining room table and sat. He rested his elbows on his thighs, threaded his fingers, and rubbed them over his mouth as he stared at the door and waited.

Lexi tossed the phone on the bed and rolled to her feet, sliding off Jax’s jacket at the same time. She couldn’t keep the smile from her face or the excitement from sweeping through her. When she turned to toss the jacket behind her, the sketch pad and the dozens of images she’d been drawing nonstop all day came into view.

She knew Jax had been the key to unlock the door on her creativity and had it flowing so freely she couldn’t sketch ideas fast enough. Or, rather, sex with Jax. The fact that the images were all of erotic designs and sexy lingerie had to be some mental block she’d put up against the new urgency to design those bridal gowns for the Luxe Bridal Show.

She forced the whole sordid thought from her mind, unwilling to let that sweeping disappointment ruin her night with Jax.

Lexi tossed down the jacket, pulled on the lace shelf bra and matching string bikini she’d bought—all in deep crimson. She’d realized how stupid it was to buy something so pretty when Jax wouldn’t get to see much of it. But he’d get the effect, and that was the important part, along with the way it made her feel beautiful and sexy and made her want to do erotic things to Jax. Just dressing and thinking of him touching her hiked her heart rate.

Her sex was pounding by the time she slid her feet into heels and slipped her arms back into his jacket. She grabbed the massage oil and slid it into the jacket pocket. With her hair in a hasty bun, she grabbed her key card and her phone. The jacket was twice her size, but the short length hit high on her thighs, barely covering her butt cheeks. She found herself slouching from her walk to and from the elevator in case she ran into anyone in the hallway.

Then she was outside Jax’s door. A whip of panic snapped through her, followed by a stark, surrealistic moment of
What the hell am I doing? This isn’t me.

But it was. It was a part of her she loved but had rarely been able to express. Never found a man who’d made her feel the desire to express it the way Jax did.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and unzipped the jacket. Straightening to her full height, Lexi shook out her shoulders and arms to relax. The jacket fell open, exposing her cleavage, belly button, and sweet spot.

She tapped lightly on Jax’s door and pushed it back. Not much more light filled the space than it had that morning, and Lexi relaxed a little. She moved slowly into the room tonight. Much slower than this morning. She knew Jax was watching, and she let the hallway light outline her silhouette so he knew just how little she was wearing.

By the time she closed the door, her heart hammered in her chest. Her lungs squeezed too tight for her to gather enough air, and her head went light. Lexi leaned back against the door to get her balance and her bearings. The room was so silent she could have believed she was alone.