Reckless (Renegades #1) (8 page)

Her body kept telling her she should already be in his bed.

She glanced at her underwear again. Black and white, satin and lace, nothing special. Nothing pretty.

“Well, shit.” She dropped her hand to her hip. “I didn’t expect to meet dream man.”

And dream man was probably used to the sexiest women in the sexiest underwear.

“He’s a guy. He probably won’t even notice. They all just rip it off anyway.”

Lexi’s mind flashed with that image—Jax’s mouth attacking hers, his hands frantically searching her body, fingers wrapping in the hip of her panties and yanking until they tore. Her whole body tightened in gooseflesh. Her nipples peaked. Sex tingled.

“Fuck it.” She grabbed the skimpiest pair of bikini underwear she’d brought—lace with satin edges, strings and bows at the hips, and the matching bra—and pulled them on.

“Now what?”

God, like it mattered? Still…

She had cute casual clothes, business clothes, and one nightclub outfit. But nothing sexy for a Jax encounter. Nothing perfect for her first visit to Jax’s room. Correction—suite.

The fact that he’d gotten a suite so fast made discomfort pinch deep in her belly. He was someone. He had to be. Even Rubi’s billionaire father couldn’t get that kind of service with Spencer. But Jax wasn’t famous. People hadn’t been approaching him at the airport, asking for his autograph. Yet there was no doubt he wielded a certain amount of power. That he possessed a certain level of wealth. Everyone who stayed with Spencer did. Lexi considered herself his charity case and had been introduced to Spencer by Rubi and her father.

She’d thought Jax’s ability to get a room here would make her feel more secure. And in some ways it had. But in others, she’d grown uneasy. Power and wealth made Lexi leery. Power and wealth could turn people ugly when something—or someone—they wanted slipped out of reach.

Her stomach prickled with hundreds of cold pins and needles as her memory turned to other men in her past who’d had power and wealth and had tried to use them to control her.

While she’d always known her looks played a big part in men’s initial interest, her relationship with one successful real estate developer, Steven Connelly, had taught her it was far more complex than that. Lexi had learned that for many men, having her on their arm made a statement about them as a man—from the obvious
I’m a stud to catch such a hot babe
, to the far more subtle assumption of a man’s overall power in business.

She’d also realized that losing her said just as much.

Steven hadn’t been willing to accept whatever negative self-assessments he’d associated with Lexi breaking off the relationship and threatened her studio lease after she’d upgraded the space with her entire savings. He’d had the money to hire attorneys if she fought. He’d had the power to create a media frenzy if she went public.

He would have crushed her life, her dreams, all so he could wear her on his arm.

Rubi’s father had been Lexi’s ultimate savior. For all his faults—and he had many—he’d come through for Lexi at Rubi’s pleading requests. As grateful as she would always be to Rudolpho Russo for his help, Lexi never wanted to be in a position to need him again.

Her nerves kicked up. She’d felt so capable when she was flirting with Jax. So sexy. So in control. Now, she just felt inept. And incompetent. And…reckless.

Reckless. God, she needed more of that in her life. Spontaneity. Passion. Freedom. The kind she felt when Rubi gunned her Ferrari.

That thought was the impulse she’d needed to pull on the frilly short skirt from her cute set, the sexy halter from her business collection, and the sparkling four-inch heels from her club outfit.

She ran her fingers through her hair, shook it out, and glanced in the mirror. Yes, she looked like a woman ready for steamy hot sex with a stranger.

Lexi grabbed her room key and her phone and left the room before she couldn’t. Purposely keeping her mind clear and her gaze averted from the obvious interest of other guests at the way she was dressed at nine a.m. on a weekday morning, Lexi rode the elevator, praying Jax hadn’t left the hotel yet.

She found herself at the door of 714 suffering an anxiety attack. Her heart ticked way too fast. Her head floated. Her lungs struggled.

She pressed a hand to her stomach and wandered a few feet from his door, trying to drag in enough air to calm her brain. The hallway remained empty, so she leaned her back against the wall and texted him.

LEXI: Are you still in the hotel?

JAX: Just barely.

She winced, hating herself for the sliver of relief sliding through her belly.

LEXI: No time to meet, then?

JAX: I’m willing to make it work. When?

God, he was so sweet. She could do this. She could
do
this. She had to do this, because she couldn’t go through these nerves again tonight. And if she went home without meeting him, she would always regret it.

LEXI: Now?

JAX: Yes. Absolutely. Now.

She laughed, breathless, giddy.

Her phone vibrated again.

JAX: Shit, that sounded just a little desperate, right? Sorry.

JAX: Do you want to come to my room or do you want me to come to you?

Lexi bit her lip. She was really going to do this. Sex with a stranger. A cold sensation slid from her forehead to her chin, as if she could feel the blood leaving her face.

Her mind seemed to crack, her thoughts skipping each time they hit an uneven surface. What if she was wrong about him? What if he wanted to see her when they got back to LA? What if she lost everything because of this one impulsive action?

She put a hand to her head. “This isn’t a big deal,” she whispered. “Rubi does it all the time.”

She swallowed. Closed her eyes.
Push through it.
Opened her eyes and texted him.

LEXI: I’m at your room—STOP—don’t open the door. I’m…nervous. I need a few…indulgences.

Lexi took a breath and sent the message. It couldn’t hurt to shoot for just one more safeguard. He could always say no…right? Christ, she really wasn’t thinking right.

JAX: Woman, you test me. What?

LEXI: Please know you can say no.

JAX: No.

Her throat shrank.

LEXI: Really?

JAX: Kidding. I’m nervous too. Tell me.

He was nervous? That was cute.

LEXI: Let me open the door. Just leave it cracked. Give me some room to get adjusted. I love brain-numbing passion, but I need to feel comfortable first.

JAX: You got it.

The metallic click of a door opening startled Lexi. She pushed from the wall. Her heart jumped. She peered at the door to room 714 and found it open two inches.

“Oh Jesus,” she whispered, a hand to her chest. That made this all so real.

JAX: What else can I do?

LEXI: Dark. No lights, curtains closed?

A pause. Lexi held her breath.

JAX: Baby. Seriously? I’ve been dying to see you. Is this a fetish?

LEXI: Sorry, yes, I’m serious. But, no, it’s not a fetish.

He didn’t respond. Lexi closed her eyes as regret welled in the pit of her stomach. If she had more time, she might be able to get logic to overpower fear.

JAX: Sweetheart, I’m a man. I’m visual.

LEXI: I’ll let your hands and your mouth and your body see every part of me.

JAX: Jesus Christ.

She waited. Hoped.

JAX: How about leaving on the bathroom light? I don’t want to be tripping over myself. That would be embarrassing.

True. He was probably right about that. Bathroom light? How much could he see with the bathroom light?

LEXI: Bathroom light, door open two inches.

JAX: Door open halfway.

She grinned. His playfulness eased a couple of nerves.

LEXI: Three inches.

JAX: Four.

For God’s sake.

LEXI: Done.

JAX: Hold on.

Lexi glanced at the door just as the space darkened. Her stomach fluttered. Heart picked up speed.

JAX: Okay—your demands have been met. Now I need a few things.

Oh shit.

LEXI: Yes?

JAX: Clarification: You are NOT married or involved.

LEXI: Correct.

JAX: We did not know each other before talking at the airport.

LEXI: Correct.

JAX: You are not a hired killer.

She laughed out loud.

JAX: God, you’ve got a great laugh. Get your ass in here.

Her stomach twisted with excitement.

Walk, Lex. One foot in front of the other.

Eight

Lexi’s mind blurred between the moment she took the first step and the moment she stood in front of Jax’s door. She focused on the numbers—seven-one-four—pulled air through her lips, and pressed her hand to the cool, painted metal.

As the door opened, light from the hall cast a wedge of soft yellow on the deep blue carpet in the entry.

Lexi swept her gaze over the dim interior setting and found Jax’s shadowed form where he sat on the arm of the sofa deeper in the suite’s living room. Hands lazily clasped in front of him. Jeans, bare feet, white T-shirt…maybe. Too many shadows to tell for sure. Which was good. If she thought she was nervous in the hall, her heart was about to jump from her chest now. The darkness helped.

She stepped into the room, closed the door, and pressed her back against it, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness. Silence seemed to swamp the space, the quiet so complete Lexi swore it compressed her lungs.

“You lied, sugar.” His first words startled her, like a touch from the dark, but the distant bathroom light showed he hadn’t moved. His voice, low and languid, created a sultry, sensual sensation all through her body, as delicious as the thought of melted chocolate on salty, warm skin.

“Lied?” She sounded like she’d run the stairs to his room. “About what?”

She glanced to her left, through a doorway that must have led to the bedroom. Another door that could only be for a bathroom stood open a few inches, just as he’d promised.

“You’ve got a sweet voice.”

She jerked her attention back to him as he stood from the sofa. Taller than she’d expected. Broader than she’d expected.

A different kind of nervousness squirmed through her chest. Her hands clenched, the palm of one hand digging into the edges of her phone. “W…what did I lie about?”

“Your body.”

He stepped closer, and the first cut of unease shot crackling heat through her chest. Had she misread him? Was she misreading herself? If this was passion, it was more intense than anything she’d ever felt. Overwhelming. Obsessive. Dark.

She found the door handle at her back with her free hand. Curled her fingers around it. “Is…is that a problem?”

“Why?” he asked.

Her brow pulled. Why what? She couldn’t remember what they’d been talking about. This was so out of her scope. She should never have tried to play in Rubi’s league.

“I’m not sure…” she started.

He closed in. His scent drifted to her—fresh, spicy.

Real. So in-her-face
real
.

This was no fantasy. Two hundred pounds of stranger stood less than two feet away. Her throat closed. She turned, pressed the lever, and pulled the door open. “I’m sorry, I don’t think this…”

The door shut. Lexi gasped, her gaze darting up. The shadow of Jax’s hand lay against the white door. Her mind froze. The sound of her own heartbeat filled her ears as his heat washed the length of her body.

Don’t panic. Don’t panic.

“Hold on, baby. Hold on.” His voice, soft and apologetic, took some of the sting out of the fear.

She kept one hand gripping the door handle, the other flat on the door, and tried to slow her breathing.

“You’re okay. We’re okay.” His hand disappeared from the door. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. You can leave, Lexi, honey, anytime you want. I just… Talk to me, Lex. Then if you still want to go, open the door and go.”

The regret in his voice felt like a rock in her gut. Mortification made her stomach ball into a fist. “I’m sorry too. I don’t know what I was thinking coming here…”

One of his hands lay gently on the top of her head, then slid all the way down her hair where it ended past the middle of her back. The touch felt good. Sweet. A few nerves released their tension.

“Wow,” he murmured, “I should have added extra long to the possibilities. I love it.”

A smile turned her mouth. His fingers slid past the ends of her hair, brushed the bare skin of her back in the open halter, featherlight, tentative.

“Can I touch you?” he asked, his voice softer than a whisper but so much deeper.

She nodded, unable to speak. His hand slipped beneath her hair and pressed against her back, between her shoulder blades. His hand was big, his skin rough. Heat sank into her body in the shape of his handprint, loosening her muscles. Lexi sighed and closed her eyes.

“I think,” he murmured, “you were thinking the same thing I’ve been thinking for the last ten hours. How badly we want the other to ease this need that’s grown between us.”