Eleven thirty came and went. Where they okay? Was Hawk?
Was Jet?
God, please let them be okay. Watch over them for me. Keep them safe. Bring Jet back to me in one piece.
It was the same prayer I’d repeated over and over again when I knew Jet was on a run. I wasn’t blind to the fact that his life was a dangerous one, but all I wanted was for him to come back to me safe and whole.
My uncle wasn’t home, so it was just Mary and me in the house. I knew that there was at least one guard outside, though. Ciro and his father always made sure Mary was well protected at all times. Uncontrollably, my eyes began to grow heavy and I had to fight back a yawn.
“Come on, darling. I’ll show you to the guest room. When your young men arrive, I’ll give them a room too.”
My young men? I wanted to laugh at that thought. I had never considered them mine before. It had never felt like that to me, not even when I’d actually been with Jet. Sure I considered them all family, but I hadn’t ever imagined them feeling the same way. It surprised me how good it felt to think that way now. At least some of them had welcomed me home with a warmth that had thawed my heart to the idea of actually staying.
I’d only been back in the MC life for a little over a day, but it was starting to feel normal again.
As I took a shower in the guest room’s connecting bathroom, I took a moment to ponder that. I missed Emmie and the children. I even missed Nik and the rest of the Demons. But it was nothing like how I had missed Raven and the other Hannigans when I’d first gone to work for the Armstrong family. There was sadness and even pain, but it didn’t make me have to stop and catch my breath as I’d had to do for the first few weeks I’d been in Malibu.
Not wanting to admit that it was because I belonged with the Club, I toweled dry and climbed under the sheets of the king-sized bed in the middle of the bedroom without bothering with the shirt that Mary had given me to sleep in. The sheets felt cool against my skin and the pillow was thick but soft. Perfect. Wrapping my arms around it, I laid on my stomach and let sleep consume me.
It was late when I thought I heard the bedroom door open. I sighed and rolled over on the bed. Vaguely I knew that I wasn’t alone, but I didn’t feel threatened. From the bathroom I heard the shower turn on but my mind was still fogged with sleep and without giving it another thought I drifted back under.
The feel of the bed dipping had my eyes blinking open as a big, hard body crawled under the blankets with me. Seconds later a rough, calloused hand reached for me and wrapped around my waist. It was dark in the room but the way my body instantly caught fire told me exactly who it was.
Jet.
He let out a contented sigh and his lips brushed over my forehead. “Finally,” he growled in a low voice. “Fuck, I’ve missed this.”
My eyes closed as I savored those words. For now, I would pretend that he spoke the truth. For now, at least, I would hold them close and live off them.
For now.
“Is Hawk okay?” I asked, needing to know if my friend was still alive before I could get another moment of sleep.
He stiffened but nodded. “He’s better now that he has Gracie back.”
“So you found her?” I felt him nod in the darkness. “Is she okay?”
There was a pause and my heart dropped into my stomach as I pictured so many terrible things happening to sweet Gracie. “She caught a bullet when the Italians took her. The damn thing was still in her arm and there were signs of blood poisoning. Sepsis, Raven calls it. They took it out at the emergency room and admitted her. She’s getting the strongest antibiotics that they can give her, but she was already pretty sick when we left. Uncle Jack and Trigger decided to stay with Hawk to watch his back.”
“She’s going to get better, though. Right?”
“Of course she will,” he assured me and tightened his arm around my waist. “Come on, Flick. Let’s sleep. I’m dead tired. I didn’t sleep that great last night.”
“Okay.” I lifted my head so he could put his other arm under it, and used it as my pillow. If the thick pillow was perfect, this was pure nirvana. This was how we’d always slept when we’d been together. With Jet’s big body and the heat that he put off, I didn’t even need a blanket.
It was only then, with my bare breasts pressed against his shirtless chest, that I remembered I’d gone to bed naked. If I’d been on fire with just the touch of his hand on my waist, it was nothing to the inferno that was starting to consume me now. A shiver ran up my spine.
Lying like this, with our fronts pressed so close together, I was in no doubt that he wanted me just as much. His cock was rock hard and hot against my lower stomach.
“Fuck, you’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?” he groaned and buried his face in my hair. The hand at my waist clenched into a fist and his body actually shook. “Is that what you want, baby? To kill me with wanting you?”
I licked my suddenly dry lips. “How’s that going to kill you?”
“Because I’m not going to take it from you, Flick. You know me better than that.”
I frowned in the dark. “But…”
“But what?”
I glared up at him. “I thought that having sex was part of the deal you made me make with you this morning? Wasn’t that what you wanted?”
“Of course it’s what I wanted, but I wasn’t expecting it. All I wanted was to make sure you would be in my bed every night, Flick. Making love is your decision. I’ve never forced a woman before and I don’t plan on starting now.” His lips skimmed over my forehead before he rested his chin on top of my head. “Lie still and sleep, baby.”
Tears burned my eyes as I lay there, letting him hold me. I’d seriously thought that sex was going to be part of the deal I’d made with him. Maybe I’d even made it because of that, so I could have that part of him without letting my heart melt toward him again.
It was too late for that now. Without me even realizing it, I’d let my walls down that day and he’d snuck in. He’d never had to try very hard to get me to fall for him, though. His treating me like I was special had been my downfall the last time, and it hadn’t even taken that much this time around. A small touch here, a deep look there and I’d become putty in his hands all over again.
I knew it was because I hadn’t fallen out of love with him the last time. As much as I wanted to believe I’d moved on from Jet Hannigan, I knew it was a big fat lie. I wasn’t ever going to move on. I wasn’t ever going to get over him. The sooner I admitted that, the better off I was going to be.
With fingers that trembled, I touched his chest. His heart was pounding, telling me that despite his words he was just as desperate for me as I was for him. Jet sucked in a deep breath. “Sleep, Flick. I’m not going to take advantage of you.”
“Wh-what if I want you to take advantage?” I whispered.
“I’d say you have to be the first one to make a move, love. I’ve gotten what I want. You back in my bed, in my arms. Anything after that is only a bonus. But you have to be the one to make it happen.” His lips were nearly scalding against my cheek. “If you want me, I’m right here. Take what you want. But don’t expect me to do it for you.”
Love?
He’d never used that endearment before. It had always been babe or baby. My heart squeezed as I savored that one little word for the moment. How could I be this happy over one little word? It was stupid and crazy, but I let that itty bitty word work its way into the deepest parts of my soul and wasn’t surprised when the shredded parts started to heal—just a little.
With a sigh I lifted my head and skimmed my lips over his. He went completely still. I didn’t even think he was breathing right then. Smiling to myself at his reaction, I kissed him again, just as softly. My finger over his heart tangled in the small patch of hair on his hard chest.
His lips tasted just as I remembered. Dark and dangerous. That was how I would always describe this man. It was a delicious taste. Alluring. Powerful. Knowing I affected him just as much as he did me made me feel just as dangerous as I knew he was. Just as powerful. I could make Jet Hannigan forget to breathe with just a light touch of my lips against his.
How had I forgotten that I had always been able to produce this reaction in this man? Even if it was just on a physical level, Jet and I made an incredible combination. Some people didn’t even have that much going for them. The passion wasn’t there for them and that was just a sad life to have to live. I’d never worried about us when it came to our attraction to each other. It was only when my heart had begged for more that things had gone south for us.
I wouldn’t be that stupid this time around. I wouldn’t let my heart rule our relationship—whatever that might be. It didn’t matter that I was still in love with Jet. None of it mattered. I just wanted as much of this, as much of the fire and desire and dangerousness as I could get. Who knew how long it would last? Maybe he would get bored with me all over again in just a few weeks or months and he would let me go back to work for Emmie. But I would hold on to each second that I got with him.
“Flick.” He breathed my name in a choked voice. “Are you sure?”
“Shh,” I commanded softly. “I want this.” I kissed him again. This one was longer, harder. Deeper. I let my tongue slip inside his hot mouth and played with his tongue until neither of us could breathe.
The hand at my waist unclenched and he caught my hip, holding on hard but not enough to leave a bruise. This was how it had always been. My big, scary, alpha biker was hard as nails but as soon as he touched me, he became gentle. Tender. Maybe that was why I’d held out so much hope that he cared about me just as much as I did him.
Pushing that thought down, I lifted both hands to rake my fingers through his hair, holding him in place as I breathed him in and deepened the kiss even more. Lower, his hard cock flexed against my stomach. I was helpless to hide my desire from him as my thighs became soaked with my need. It had been so damn long since I’d had a man between my legs. Jet had been the only one ever to explore my most intimate places and that was the way it would stay. I wanted no other man like I wanted him and I wouldn’t settle for second best.
If he wanted me to be the one to take things further, then that was what I would do. Still kissing him, I pushed on his shoulders and he fell onto his back willingly. His hand on my hip ventured lower until he was covering my gushing pussy with his entire hand. Yes, I wanted to cry. Yes. Yes. Yes.
I straddled his waist, opening myself wide for him in hopes his fingers would explore me deeper. When they didn’t and he just stroked up and down my drenched lips, I finally broke the kiss. We were both gasping for breath, panting like we’d just run a mile. I could see better in the dark room now, could make out the shape of his face and the way his mouth glistened from our crazy kiss. I wanted him more right then than I’d ever wanted him in my entire life.
“Are…” I had to stop and clear my throat so that I could speak. “Are you clean?”
“Fuck yes,” he growled, both his hands holding onto my waist now. “I haven’t been with anyone since you.”
I didn’t believe that last part for a second, but I knew he wouldn’t lie to me about being clean. He might not love me but he respected me enough not to put me at risk. I shifted on top of him until my throbbing pussy covered his pulsing cock. We both let out a low moan as I rubbed my clit over the tip, torturing us both in the best kind of way. Stars flashed in front of my eyes and I tried not to cry out as I felt my orgasm start to build with just the little tease I was giving us.
Sucking in a deep breath, I grasped his long, thick cock in my right hand and positioned him at my entrance. I wanted to hold on to the moment he slid deep inside of me but knew that it would be over too quick no matter how slow I took things. Biting my lip to keep from crying out in sheer pleasure as I slid down his large shaft, I moved until I was stuffed full with him. I was seated on him, my body taking just a moment to adjust to the fullness.
“Fuck,” he muttered and gripped my hips to keep me locked in place. “Fuck, you feel so good. Give me a minute, love. I’m already fighting for control. I want to last for you but don’t know if I can.”
“I…I don’t know how long I’ll…last,” I panted. “You feel amazing inside of me, Jet.”
“You’re so hot, Flick. Hot and wet just for me.” He shook his head as if he were actually fighting with himself. “And tight. So damn tight. I want you so bad, love. So fucking bad.”
“I want to move,” I breathed. With the hold he had on me, I couldn’t even shift my hips let alone start riding him the way I wanted.
“Not yet,” he growled in that rough voice I remembered so well. It told me he was holding on by a thread, that he was going to let go soon. I wanted him to come just as desperately as I wanted it for myself.
Having him this deep inside of me was driving me crazy. I wanted it to end. I never wanted it to end. “Please,” I begged, not sure if I was asking for more or not. “Please, Jet.”
“Love…” His back arched and he went even deeper inside of me. My walls quivered, contracted as I unconsciously sought out more of the incredible feeling of having his girth stretch me more and more.
With a whimper I started playing with my clit, unable to go a second longer without some kind of relief. The first stroke of my index and middle finger over that little bundle of nerves had me shaking with pleasure. My inner walls contracted a little around him as I rubbed tight little circles over and over again on my clit. My entrance was flooding more and more with my growing need.
“Flick.” He moved my hips slightly back and forward, rocking my body on his cock. He brushed over that secret spot deep inside that always had me begging for the end. “Come for me, love. Drown my cock in your sweet honey. I want to feel it. Let me feel it.”
Reaching behind me with my free hand, I held onto his thigh as I rubbed harder, faster, while he worked my hips for us both. My thighs were starting to shake, letting us both know that I was precariously close. “Jet.” I whispered his name, but I might as well have screamed it. My throat felt shredded with the ferocity of the way I’d called out as my orgasm hit me hard.