Reconsidering Riley (27 page)

She stepped closer. "Are you wishing on a
star too?"

A pause.

"Don't need to." His voice sounded
unsurprised, as though he'd known she was there all along. Riley
looked over his shoulder leisurely, his face shadowed. "My wish
just came true."

In the darkness, intimacy laced his
plainspoken words. Jayne felt herself warmed by it, even as she
clambered onto the chilly rock beside him. She settled there, with
Riley's help, and cradled her flashlight securely between her
palms.

"Oh, you couldn't possibly have wished for
me," she said with a shrug, secretly pleased. "I mean, I was right
there beside you. At the campfire, all along."

"The campfire." He exhaled. "Right."

"What? It wasn't that bad, was it?"

"Define 'bad.'"

"Riley—"

"It doesn't matter." He squeezed her knee,
giving her a smile in the glow of the flashlight's upright
illumination. "What matters is that you're here now."

Awww
. Jayne smiled. But still...
"Everyone loved you! You were witty and charming and
interested
, which is even more important than
interest
ing
in my book. I mean, almost anybody can be
fascinating, even if it's only because they're a little weird—"

"Weird? Are you trying to tell me
something?"

She rolled her eyes. "But almost
nobody
is
interested
these days. With some people,
you can't get a word in edgewise, because they're so busy talking
about themselves."

His lips quirked.

"And that's not a problem with you!" Jayne
hugged his arm, trying to transmit some enthusiasm to him. His
warmth instantly chased away the outdoors' chill. "Really, I'm very
proud of you."

His reply was a self-conscious
hmmph
.
She leaned sideways, hoping to jostle him into good cheer. "Come
on. I am! I'm proud of you."

"I'm proud you're proud."

"Admit it. It was a
little
fun,
wasn't it?"

He hesitated. Clearly, stronger measures
were called for here. Like a tickle attack. Jayne jabbed the
flashlight between her knees and lunged sideways. "Admit it! It was
fun!"

"Hey!"

Her fingers probed his ribs, his flat
abdomen, his sides. Riley gawped at her, automatically doubling
over. She kept at it until his laughter overrode the crickets'
songs, until Riley wrestled both her wrists into his grasp and
stopped her.

"It was a little fun," he said
grudgingly.

"And you enjoyed it."

"Always have to push, don't you?"

"Well?"

"Okay." His smile widened. "The marshmallows
were good."

That was probably all she'd get out of him
tonight, Jayne decided. "That'll do. Tomorrow, we'll tackle your
side of the story. You can tell us all about your photography
expeditions."

He went still. Then he released her wrists.
"I'd rather hear about what you've been doing for the past two
years."

Missing you
. Wildly unwilling to say
that
, Jayne wrinkled her nose. She studied the trees
silhouetted against the starry sky. "Writing a book. Going out with
friends. Scouring shoe sales. The usual."

Riley shook his head. "You know, after I
left San Francisco, it was months before I could pass a shoe store
and not automatically slow down...so you could have a look."

His admission surprised her. "Good thing
there aren't many shoe stores in the Congo."

"Yeah." His gaze searched hers, igniting
something forbidden and long-denied. "Good thing."

"Yeah," she repeated in a whisper, feeling
herself melt into the attraction he'd always held for her. "Really
good."

I missed you
, she read in his eyes.
I still do
. Jayne felt the same. Remembrances swirled
between them. A hush fell over the forested landscape, as though
the night itself waited to see what would happen. She held her
breath. When she'd agreed to pick up where they'd left off, she
hadn't expected their reunion to pack such a wallop. And she hadn't
expected to like him again, either.

But she did.

She thought of Riley, slowing down at a shoe
store. Glancing over his shoulder. Realizing she wasn't there.
She'd had those moments, too. Moments when their braided lives had
unraveled before her eyes, over and over again.

If she wasn't careful, she'd stop
Dating
Like A Man
and start surrendering her heart like a woman.

"But I guess I should save all the best
stories for tomorrow, right?" Briskly she sat straighter, lest she
leave herself vulnerable to the subtle seduction of Riley's body
warming hers...to the pull of his companionship. Kissing amid the
trees she could handle. Rekindling a friendship was trickier.
"So...what do you usually do for fun on your adventure travel
trips?"

"Fun?" He spread his arms. "This is it."

"No, I mean—when you've hiked as far as
you're going to for the day, and you've finished all the work to be
done, what do you do just for fun? If you don't hang out by the
campfire—"

"This. Is. It."

"You spend time
alone
?" She'd seen
it, but she hadn't believed it. "On purpose? For
fun
?"

"It's not a crime. It's...peaceful."

Jayne shook her head. "Don't you ever get
lonely?"

At that, Riley seemed genuinely puzzled. He
shrugged. "Alone isn't lonely."

"Of course it is!" He must be in denial. "If
you're alone, it means nobody wants to be with you."

He made a wry face, then pretended to
perform an underarm body odor check. "I hope not."

Undeterred by his lightheartedness, she said
seriously, "If you're alone, it means you don't fit in."

"It means you're alone. By yourself.
Period."

"No!" Sure, he could pretend to be stoic
about it, but Jayne couldn't bear to think of him forever on the
outskirts of life's big campfire. Riley deserved more warmth than
that. "Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. If you could only
see—"

"It's okay. I like it. Most of the
time."

Ah-hah!
she thought, grasping onto
the tiny confession he'd offered. He
was
lonely. And she
couldn't bear it. She'd spent too many years being on the outside
herself, never fitting in with her family, to let Riley suffer a
similar fate.

"'
Most
of the time,'" Jayne repeated.
"See? You need me. I can help you. I know I can. I know all kinds
of ways to avoid being alone. Take a party, for instance. You might
find yourself alone on the way to the ladies' room—"

"Not very often."

"—but if you take a friend, share your
lipstick—"

"Again, that may be a problem for me."

"—even offer to guard the stall door, you
won't be!"

He looked at her as though she were crazy.
"I'm
used
to being alone. You don't have to cure me of
this."

She did. She knew she did. Now that she
recognized the extent of Riley's un-admitted-to loneliness, Jayne
knew she had to do something to help him.

"Let's role-play some conversation," she
suggested.

His
crazy woman
expression deepened.
"Let's not."

"Okay. Let's practice cocktail party chit
chat, then. It helps if you're prepared with some subjects at hand.
Like current events. Book group opinions. Canapé recipes."

He raised his brows at her hopeful
expression. "You can't be serious." He apparently saw that she was,
and balked. "I don't even know what a canapé
is
."

"See? That's why you need a recipe! Now let
me think about this...first we need a good opener." She considered
a few, then brightened. "Like, 'I love your dress!' Or, 'How do you
know the host?'" She smiled at him. "Now, your turn."

"This is ridiculous."

"No, that might offend your host."

"Jayne, snap out of it."

"That might offend
me
!"

"I mean it." Riley slipped his hand to her
cheek, gently turning her face toward his. Her demonstration party
face met his solemn expression, and she felt her features
droop.

"Being alone isn't that bad," he said. "I'll
show you."

He shifted on their shared rock, as though
preparing to get up. Panicked, Jayne grabbed his arm. "Just don't
take the flashlight with you."

"I'm not leaving you here alone.
I'm...demonstrating."

Confused, she watched through the dimness as
Riley found a new position on the boulder. The next thing she knew,
they were sitting back to back, not touching. She started to turn
around.

His touch stopped her. "Hold still. Pretend
you're alone."

"I don't want to."

"Do it for me."

At the thought, her whole body tensed. But
she didn't want Riley to think she was a coward, any more than she
wanted him to think she
wasn't
over him. So Jayne nodded.
"Okay."

"Good." His deep voice, so familiar and so
welcome, comforted her. "Now, relax and look up."

Hesitantly, she did.

"See the stars? All you have to do is look
at them."

Jayne almost scoffed. She could do
that
. She'd been wishing on stars her whole life. She craned
her neck and complied. A glittery panorama met her view.

"
Wow
."

"Don't talk. You're alone."

"Of course I'm not alone. You're right—"

He cleared his throat. She piped down.

Several minutes later, a night breeze
rustled the tree branches and pulled her attention from the stars.
This 'alone' thing sure felt real, Jayne realized. For all she
knew, Riley had snuck off while she'd been stargazing, and...

Yikes
! She grabbed for his hand.

"I'm right here," he said, linking his
fingers with hers. He didn't turn around, didn't scoot nearer so
their backs touched. He didn't have to. His presence was all she
needed.

"That was ten minutes straight," Riley
announced over the sound of her pounding heart. "You survived. I'm
proud of you."

"Great." Jayne sagged with relief. "Can I
stop now?"

"If you want to."

She did stop. Gratefully. When she turned,
it was to see Riley's beaming face. She didn't have the heart to
remind him this hadn't been a genuine 'alone' experience. Not when
she'd known he was with her every minute. But he was sweet to care
about her, all the same.

Jayne told him so. He shook his head and
muttered something subject-changing about the stars. Before she
could so much as explain her feelings in more depth, Riley launched
into a story about what the ancient Mayans had believed about the
night sky. She found herself diverted. He pointed out
constellations and galaxies, outlined the Milky Way with sure
movements of his hands, handed her a knit hat from the pocket of
his fleece for warmth.

In return, Jayne showed him the star
formations she'd discovered during her 'alone time.' The Lipstick
galaxy, slender and sparkly. The powder-perfect circle of moon. The
PMS black hole. Riley laughed and nodded as she pointed them out,
and in the end, things turned out nicely. Really nicely.

They stayed that way, too. At least they did
until Jayne returned to camp...and found the javelina waiting in
her tent.

Chapter Seventeen

Morning dawned
totally
too early on
the trail, in Alexis's opinion. Before the sun had finished
crawling above the cliff near their campsite, she was awakened by
the sound of pots clanking and water being poured. It was like some
demented Galloping Gourmet had taken the place of a normal alarm
clock. Alexis would have preferred waking up to her radio blaring
dance remixes.

Sleepily, she checked to see if her boobs
had magically grown bigger overnight. She prayed her feet hadn't
managed the same thing. Everything was the same. Depending on how
you looked at it, that was okay.

Wiggling as wakefulness slipped through her,
Alexis wondered how her mom was doing in Mexico. She wondered if
Gary the Geek was still there, too. She wondered if any phone calls
had come to Nana and Gramps's place while she'd been gone, and if
her mom was sorry she'd missed talking to Alexis.

Fiercely, Alexis hoped so. It would serve
her mom right. Maybe then she'd realize her "little girl" wouldn't
care about lame phone calls forever. Soon, Alexis would be going
away to college. She'd be too busy to think about things like
sometimes wanting a hug from her mom.

Ugh
. It was
way
too early to
be so bummed out. Alexis crawled out from the solitary nylon dome
she'd pitched beside Carla and Mitzi's shared tent.

The cold, fresh air made her skin tingle.
She gulped in a big lungful, pretending she was an experienced
older woman camping out with her gorgeous boyfriend.
Her famous
recording artist boyfriend
. Yeah, that was it. He'd been so
blown away by Alexis's hot bod, personal charm, and overall
babe-ishness that he'd ditched his personal touring jet to spend
time with—

"Coffee?" Lance asked.

Sucked from her daydream by his reedy voice,
Alexis frowned. How had he managed to sneak up on her like that?
Worse, had he actually seen her...
pretending
, like a
kid?

"Coffee stunts your growth, dodo head. Don't
you know anything?"

"It's really good." He waved the cup beneath
her nose, obviously trying to tantalize her. "I made it
myself."

She exhaled. "If I take it, will you quit
pestering
me?"

His answer was a grin. A grin that reached
all the way inside her. A grin that seemed to say,
you're
terrific
. Startled by it, Alexis stared.

The next thing she knew, Lance was wrapping
her fingers around the stupid coffee cup. "It'll keep you warm," he
said.