Recreated (10 page)

It was soon obvious that the lioness was toying with me instead of finishing me off. As the sun sank in the west, I knew I wouldn't have the energy to continue much longer. Oscar's words returned to me then about how death was found in the sunset and life in the east. I was headed toward death.

Finally coming to a stop, I turned to face my pursuer. The lioness paused and growled softly, as if disappointed that the mouse she'd been playing with was no longer interested in the game.

“Look,” I said. “I'm not sure if you're the answer to this riddle. I don't know if you want to just wear me out or if you really mean to eat me, but either way I'm making the choice to live. I don't want my heart to be eaten.

“I've got to save the world, and I need to find the creature that lives out here somewhere who will share her heart so I can become a sphinx and get the job done. If that is you, then fine, let's get the show on the road. If it's not, then I'd very much like to be left alone so that I can go and find the huntress.”

The lioness sat on her haunches, her tail flicking back and forth. Then, all at once, she leapt.

Lifting my head, I whispered, “I'm sorry,” hoping the wind would carry the sentiment to Amon. I knew that my hopes and dreams for the future no longer mattered. I was unworthy. It was time to accept my fate. I opened my arms and embraced my death.

When the large cat hit my body, I felt like a bowling pin knocked over by a speeding ball. It wasn't the kind of gentle tap, either, where the bowler was unsure if the ball would even make it all the way to the end of the lane. I didn't wobble back and forth, undecided over whether I'd tip or not. She was heavy, and the blow meant that I was the type of pin that smashed into anything and everything in my wake.

I ended up on my back, her bone-crushing weight on top of me making me struggle just to inhale. Overhead, the afternoon sky had darkened and I heard the heavy boom of thunder. My arms were wrapped around the lioness, and I clutched the tawny fur of her heaving sides in a death lock, praying for it all to be over quickly.

Her sharp claws pierced the skin directly over my heart, and I felt her moist breath on my cheek. As she shifted, draping her body across my own, her left paw settled at the top of my shoulder, and I somehow managed to take in a tiny pull of oxygen. The lioness settled her head next to mine, tucking it into the gap between my shoulder and neck, and though I waited for the sharp bite that would rip open my jugular, it didn't come.

She burrowed closer. So close it felt as if I were caught in quicksand once again, but this time with a creature three times my size dragging me down. I couldn't understand why I wasn't dying. Why she wasn't eating me. I knew cats tended to suffocate their prey by crushing the windpipe, and even though I could barely inhale or exhale, she didn't seem to be in any hurry.

Minutes passed, and I wondered if she'd fallen asleep. Tentatively, I brushed my fingertips over her fur, but there was no response. The weight didn't seem as bad as it had been just moments before. I was finally able to catch my breath and groaned at the pain I felt in my torso. Her head lolled and I twisted mine to peer up at her, but her golden eyes were glazed over with a sheen of unseeing moisture.

It wasn't long before I was able to begin twisting out from beneath her, but before I thrust her limp body aside, I heard an irritated voice in my head.
Remain still until the transformation is complete
.

I stopped moving and wondered where the voice had come from. Was it Isis? Some other Egyptian goddess I'd yet to meet? What kind of transformation was going on, exactly? I tried to pry the paw away from my chest but couldn't. The claws were sunk into me so deeply, I marveled at how fortunate I was that she hadn't ripped my heart from my chest. Giving up, I lay there quietly until something happened, something even stranger than the body of the lioness dissolving before my eyes.

My heightened senses alerted me to a stranger I couldn't see. I wasn't alone. The more the lioness disappeared, the more tangible and real the ghostly presence became.

The voice that had spoken to me wasn't Isis. I was sure of it now. What was even more alarming was that the being I sensed was with me. Not next to me, and not on another plane of existence, like when Amon was with me in my dreams, but actually
with
me, in my mind. I could feel her like I could feel the shoes on my feet or the hair brushing the back of my neck.

You can feel it now, can you not?
said the voice.

“Who…who are you?” I asked.

That is not the right question.

“Then what question should I be asking?”

The correct phrasing would be
“Who are
we
?”

“
We
?” I swallowed. My mouth was suddenly as dry as a desert, and I licked my lips in a vain attempt to moisten them.

Yes. We. You are no longer Lilliana Young and I am no longer what I once was.

“What…did you used to be?”

I was the creature you hold in your arms.

Glancing down at the form of the dead lioness becoming more and more transparent, I asked, “This was you? I mean, the voice I hear now is from the lioness?”

Not exactly. In my corporeal form I was an animal bound by instinct. My thoughts were simple. My purpose was survival. I have given up my physical body to become something new, saving the best parts of myself to bring to this union of minds. I am, no longer. You are, no longer.

We are reborn.

We are sphinx.

“Okay, assuming that's true, then why am I having a conversation with myself?”

The merging of our minds occurs over time. Eventually, there will be only one voice and one mind
.
If this does not happen—

“Then I'll go insane.”

Yes.

“Right. So how long do I…do
we,
” I corrected myself, “need to stay here?”

Until my former body disappears completely. The process should only take a few more minutes.

She was now so translucent it was like trying to touch a dream.

The voice was silent for a moment, and then she added,
You do not need to address me vocally, you know. I can hear and understand your thoughts.

“Is it okay if I speak to you verbally for now? At least until I get used to this?”

As you wish.

“Will you miss it?” I asked, curious. “Being a lioness, I mean?”

She didn't answer right away. Finally, she said,
Individually, our forms were mortal, fragile, weak. And the weak must make way for the strong. If we are to grow together, this is something you must come to understand.
As I considered her words, she added,
It is time. You may arise.

I hadn't even noticed that the nearly invisible form of the lioness had completely disappeared.

“I'm sorry,” I said as I got carefully to my feet, groaning at the ache in my body.

Sorry? For what?
the voice asked in surprise.

“Sorry for what you've lost.”

I have not lost. I have gained.

“You might not feel that way if this thing we're doing doesn't work.”

She was quiet for a moment, and then said,
If we fail, at least we strived to break free of the bounds set upon us. No one can disparage us for the attempt we've made to become something more.

“I suppose not.”

I…no,
we
lifted our head and inhaled. The sharp tang of water called to us and we began running in the direction it wafted from. On the journey, the voice of my inner companion pointed out the tracks of animals and identified scents that I could discern but couldn't categorize.

When I caught my wild appearance in the reflection of the pool and despaired over the state of my dress and hair, I sensed her confusion.

If you do not like your mane, then you should remove it. We can move more stealthily without it and the scent of it warns your enemies you are coming.

“Most of my enemies can't smell me coming.”

Perhaps in your world they cannot, but in the realm of the gods, anything is possible.

“I'll think about it,” I said insincerely. “In the meantime, I'd take a bath in the stream if I had something to change into.”

Why would you do that? The biting insects are not in season at this time.

“Yeah, well, I enjoy being clean.”

But the dust of the plain hides your scent. Ah, I see. You likely use your scent to attain the attention of potential mates. I suppose that is an acceptable rationale, though it will prove inherently dangerous on our journey. We should proceed with caution in that case.

I was unable to formulate a response, but she addressed my shock.

You do realize, of course, that you cannot hide your thoughts from me.

“That's…that's just wrong. It's like having my mother watching over my shoulder.”

You do not like your mother.

“No. I do. It's just that she's—”

My inner voice interrupted.
You do not. She does not notice your uniqueness. She wishes for you to conform to her standards and choices.

“Isn't that what you want as well?”

She was silent for a beat.

Conforming is a reality for both of us.
There was a long pause, and then she added,
You are imprudently proud of this mane, and I sense you do not intend to follow my counsel.

“Right.”

Very well. You may keep your overly long mane, and if it causes you grief in the future, we will deal with it at that time.

“Thank you.” Under my breath I muttered, “Next thing you know, she'll have me throwing out all my scented lotions, too.”

I could feel her incredulous bewilderment.
You purposefully scent your skin so that any predator tracking you can locate you as easily as they would a rutting buffalo?

“Hey! I'll have you know that my very expensive shampoos and lotions smell nothing like a rutting buffalo.”

She sighed.
This merging of our minds is, I fear, going to be a lengthy process. If the cleansing and perfuming of your body holds a higher priority for you than our safety, then I would suggest that you have a tongue for a reason.

I started laughing. “You,” I gasped, “you want me to give myself a tongue bath?” A moment went by when I was trying to catch my breath and enjoying the sensation of giddiness alone, and then I could sense her wishing she could join me.

“What is it?” I asked as I tried to stifle the giggles. “Don't you laugh?”

My kind experiences a quiet sort of satisfaction, but we do not act like monkeys bouncing up and down in a ridiculous manner.

“Don't knock it if you haven't tried it.”

I will admit that the sensation of it is not unpleasant.

We found the niche where I'd slept the night before and I felt strangely comforted by her presence as I settled down, not nearly as bothered by the unforgiving surface beneath me as I'd been the first time. The warm light from the setting sun bathed my skin, and I basked in the feel of it. Part of me enjoyed it because it reminded me of the heat from Amon's touch, but there was another part of me, the brand-new part I suspected, that relished in the residual warmth found in the stones surrounding my makeshift bed. A longing stirred within me that made me wish I could drowse in the heat of the day instead of bedding down for the night.

“You miss sleeping with the group, don't you?” I said, reading her thoughts.

Yes,
she admitted.
You, on the other hand, prefer isolation.

“In most cases, yes.”

She seemed to be dissatisfied with my answer. After a moment, I added, “But I like having you with me now. Especially during the night.”

Nighttime is when we hunt. I'll have to adapt to sleeping in the evening.

“Maybe we can try mixing it up a little. I don't mind daytime catnaps.”

Catnaps. I like that word.

“So do I. Good night.”

Good night, Lilliana.

“Lily.” I shifted, finding a more comfortable spot. “Hey, what should I call you?”

As we are to become one, you do not need to have a name for me.

“I'd feel better if I could call you something, even if it's only temporary. For the time being, why don't you think of me like a sister.”

I could almost hear the soft catch of her breath.
My twin sister was named Tauret
.

“You had a twin?”

It is not uncommon with lions.

“It's a pretty name.”

She was my hunting companion until she was slain. We were like two shadows in the night. Tauret was faster, but I was cunning, sharp, especially at rousting prey.

“What happened to her?”

We were at a kill. She was standing guard while I was eating. Hyenas finished her before our protector could drive them off. At least she'd been able to get out a warning before they overpowered us.