“
You don’t understand,” I
said simply. That’s really all I could say. I was lying to both of
them.
“
You’re right. I don’t. Now
let’s get moving.”
“
Where are you
going?”
“
We
are going into town. Meet up with
Max, walk around, take some set-up shots of the town, maybe ask
around, talk to some people, perhaps find those guys who got
attacked a few days ago.” He walked towards the
car.
“
You go,” I found myself
saying.
He stopped, turned and
folded his arms, thinking. He looked angry at first, then confused,
then concerned, all in the space of a few seconds.
“
I kind of need you,” he
finally said.
“
No, you don’t. Not for
setting up shots. And you’ve got your buddy there to help you
anyway.” I put a sarcastic spin on the word buddy.
He frowned but didn’t say
anything.
“
I just want some time
alone, that’s all,” I admitted. “I need to process everything
that’s happened so far.”
He rubbed his mouth with
the back of his hand. I could tell he was mulling it
over.
He walked back over to me
and stopped a few feet away. His eyes roamed all over my face.
Sometimes Dex reminded me of a truth-sniffing dog.
“
I don’t feel good about
leaving you here,” he said in a low voice. “I’d feel better if you
were with me.”
“
Are you worried about me or
about what might happen to me?”
He nodded at that and
looked at the barn. “Just stay put. Stay around Will or Bird. I’ll
be back soon. Call me the minute you…need to.”
I gave him a quick smile.
“Thanks
dad
.”
He walked over to the car,
calling over his shoulder, “I don’t need to be your dad to worry
about you.”
I watched him get into the
Jeep and speed out of the ranch, dust clouds blooming behind him
until they disintegrated into the blue. I breathed out a huge sigh
of relief. I know that being alone may have seemed like a bad idea,
but I honestly needed some time to just be.
I thought about going back
into the house and maybe reading those books again but I was sure
Sarah would be prowling about somewhere. I hadn’t seen her at
breakfast, thank goodness, but figured by now she was in the living
room, knitting a voodoo doll version of me (I had seen traces of
her yarn collection), or perhaps complaining to Will and Miguel as
they worked on the window. It’s not that I was afraid of Sarah, but
there was something about her that made me extremely uneasy. And I
didn’t like her impulsiveness and her total lack of tact. If I was
alone with her I might end up saying something I’d really regret
and spoil everything for us.
I turned around and looked
at the barn and the paddocks. I couldn’t see Shan or Bird but
figured they were somewhere doing ranchy-type stuff. I didn’t want
to bug them either.
A nice walk, alone, would
do me good.
Though my skinny jeans
weren’t exactly New Mexico material and they were already making me
sweat, my long tank top was airy and at least I had piled sunscreen
on my arms. I didn’t have a hat or water, but I did have a phone.
And my Doc Martens were perfect for any potential
ruggedness.
I looked up at the low
ridges that snaked away from the back of the paddocks. There was
something about those ridges that had looked so familiar from the
moment I had arrived. I wanted to explore them, climb to the top to
get a better look. Also, I had a strange affinity for climbing up
low rugged hills. Something about an exposed landscape up close got
me feeling so…free. So different from the dense, dark, tree-covered
slopes back home.
I walked to the edge of the
paddocks and assessed the best way up. It wasn’t steep at all, just
a low, gradual slope through rock and the occasional cacti and
scrubby brush until it flattened out amid some pine and junipers.
If I followed the ridge along the trees to the left it eventually
came to a clearing on a bluff. The view from that point would
overlook the whole ranch, and maybe part of the town.
I walked up the hill, my
footing slipping on rocks occasionally, but overall my boots held
out. I kept looking behind me to make sure the house was still
visible. If I just followed my route as planned, it would never
leave my sight.
Sweat dripped off my face
by the time I got to the ridge and I was grateful for the shelter
that the sparse pines provided. It was cooler in the shade too,
making the sweat on my back feel refreshing. I caught my breath and
leaned against a tree. I was maybe 150 feet above the flatlands,
not too shabby considering I got up there without an actual
path.
Once my heart slowed to a
reasonable rate, I walked along the ridge’s edge, weaving in and
out among the trees and tracing the rocky slope which slowly took
me higher and higher. It took a lot longer for me to get to the
clearing than I had thought, maybe twenty minutes, but the trees
finally ended and there was the flat butte thrusting out above the
valley.
I walked across the butte
and stopped near the edge. The wind had picked up, rushing across
my body, and the view was stupendous. I could see the entire farm,
now looking a lot smaller than before, like a Lego version of it.
The sheep roamed the dry pastures below like tiny cotton balls. I
could see the road leading away from the ranch and disappearing up
and down as the undulating desert took it as far as the tiny dot of
Red Fox on the horizon. Above that, the big sky enveloped
everything, and I imagined I could see the curvature of the
atmosphere, spreading from the jagged peaks of my right to the
lower, smoother desert hills of my left.
I thought about bringing my
phone out to take a photo but decided against it. No way would that
camera do this scene justice. No camera could. I just had to commit
the sight and feeling to memory and hope it lasted.
I closed my eyes and
breathed in deeply. I really did feel a million times better than
earlier and I was so thankful that I took the time to be by myself
and regroup. I wasn’t used to being around people all the time. Up
here, on this mesa, I felt real freedom. Miles of open desert, blue
sky and intense sunlight that made me feel like anything was
possible. I wanted to keep that feeling in me forever.
I smiled to myself and
opened my eyes. I looked around for a tree stump or a rock I could
sit down on, so I could take everything in and just meditate. But
the ground here was plain, rough and dusty and the concept of
scorpions, snakes and spiders was creeping at the back of my
head.
The butte sloped off to the
left and led back towards a few more clearings surrounded by
forest. The rocks over by the base of another ridge looked
promising.
I skid down the slope a
bit, the tops of my boots filling up with red dirt, and darted
between a few jagged edges. I reached the rocks by the ridge but
they were a lot pointier up close and there were far too many dark
and creepy cave-like holes between them.
I looked up the ridge. If I
could just climb up the rocks – providing they didn’t roll away
from under me – I would make it to the next ridge. Who knew what
I’d see from that vantage point?
I paused and looked behind
me. I couldn’t see the valley anymore, at least not where the farm
was. So much for not letting the ranch leave my sight.
A tiny, uneasy feeling
nagged at the back of my head. But that was the adventure, wasn’t
it? I’d just have to tell it to shut up. I was in exploration mode
and I couldn’t quit now. I’d quit at the top. That’s it.
I looked at my phone for
the time: 11AM. Dex had been gone an hour but there was no way he
could be back already. I had more than enough time to climb up
there, take a look around, then climb back down and head back to
the farm before anyone worried about me.
Feeling better about it, I
rubbed my hands on my jeans, made sure my phone was secure, and
made a go for it.
I stepped up on the rock
and made a grab for the next one. I tried hard not to look through
the cobwebby, dark spaces in between and kept my eyes focused on
the ridge ahead. Two hands, two feet, onto the next
rock.
Soon I was stepping off the
last rock and onto the flatter ridge. I got to my feet and looked
around, feeling like Sir Edmund Hilary. The view from up here was
even better and the valley sprawled out in front of it like a
patched quilt. To my surprise there was some sheep below as well. I
guess the Lancaster’s had more land that I thought.
I walked to the edge and
looked down. There was another plateau about ten feet below which
fed into the treeline leading down to the valley.
There was something on that
plateau, though, that caught my eye. There was a strange, dark area
on the dirt with a lot of shuffled earth around it. I put my hand
up to my forehead to shield the sun and squinted.
SQUAWK!
BAM!
Something hit me on the
back of the head with frightening speed. My skull was scraped. I
wheeled around to see a blur of black feathers and sky.
The impact knocked me off
balance and I put my left leg back. There was no stability. It sank
into the slope and I fell backwards.
I smashed onto it, feeling
the sharp rocks and sticks poking mercilessly into my back, and
tumbled for a few dizzying feet, like a child rolling down a grassy
hill. Then the rolling stopped and I was airborne for what felt
like a very long time. No thoughts came into my head except the
fear that I would be dead when I hit the ground.
I struck the ground with my
left shoulder which sent a shockwave of brutal, nauseating pain all
the way to my legs, which slammed the ground like a slab of
meat.
I screamed from the pain
and rolled over on my stomach, my face eating dirt.
Between the shock and the
currents of pain, I had one thought
: I am
a fucking idiot
. How could everything go
from frivolity to fucking up my body in two seconds?
It was a damn crow. Where
the hell had that come from?
When the pain subsided
slightly and I was able to get my mouth away from the earth, I took
in a few deep breaths and tried to assess the damage. I carefully
rolled onto my right shoulder and felt my left arm. I could feel
it, which was a good sign. I moved my head (another plus) and
looked down at it. It was scraped, wet with blood and caked with
dirt, but I didn’t see anything disgusting like a protruding bone
or deep gashes. I inhaled, braced for pain and attempted to lift my
arm. I let out another whimpering scream. I bent my elbow and
wriggled my wrist and fingers around. They were all in working
order, though the skin felt so tight and exposed that it stung with
each movement.
I sat back, putting most of
my weight on my good arm. My left leg didn’t feel so good and
moving it was tricky. I bent over and rolled up the pant leg. The
jeans had protected my legs but my ankle felt hot underneath the
boots. I awkwardly tried to untie it using my right arm, loosening
it, and felt around. Yep, definitely swollen.
“
Fuck!” I yelled. I sat on
the ground for a few minutes feeling utterly stupid and hopeless. I
was hoping my ankle would be good enough to walk on but it probably
wouldn’t survive me climbing up the slope I just fell down. I’d
just have to find another way back to the farm. Dex was going to
give me so much shit. No way could I hide my massacre of an
arm.
I got to my feet, very
slowly, and tried to put pressure on the bad ankle. Surprisingly,
it wasn’t as bad as I thought, though I wasn’t going to be walking
properly for a while. I dusted off my pants and eyed my dirty arm.
First things first, I had to go back to the farm and douse it in
extra-strength antiseptic.
I looked around for the
best way down into the forest when the dark patch caught my eye
again. Now that I was down here, I could see what it was. I limped
over and saw that it was a fire pit of some sort. The ground was
blackened and a few pieces of burnt kindling were in the center of
the circle. Around it there were a few holes in the earth and piles
of dirt, as if someone had been digging. I looked closer at the
ground. Footprints of different pairs of shoes, at least two, led
to the fire and back into the trees. From the other side, near the
ridge I just fell off of, there were more markings leading to the
fire. Not footprints, though. I moved closer to them. I could make
out one of them and it made my heart dislodge with one giant
skip.
A paw print.
I shuddered and quickly
looked around me. I didn’t want to be here anymore. Forget the fact
that I mangled one half of my body - that was the least of my
worries now. I didn’t want to be somewhere where paw prints and
footprints intermingled. Especially around a fire. I could almost
see the flames blazing, the embers flying up into the
air…
And that’s when it struck
me. This was the setting of my dream. My dream where I was sitting
around the fire while the lady with the yellow eyes told me that
something had been unearthed here.