“
Get up,” Daniel growled
from somewhere behind me, and I felt myself being lifted up by his
arms.
I was on my feet and he was
holding me. But something felt so wrong. So very, very wrong. In
pure panic attack mode, I started fretting about nothing, just
feeling and instinct.
“
I wanna go back,” I said.
I pointed at the door with all the might of my loosely flailing
arm. My inner self knew exactly what I was trying to say. I want to
go back inside and see my friends. I wanted to go back inside and
get help. But it didn’t come out that way.
“
Shhhh,” Daniel said. His
voice sounded like poison, dripping maliciously, and affected me
similarly. “We’ll make you feel better.”
And I was being dragged
off. Literally dragged. He pulled me towards the darkness and I
couldn’t move my legs in any fashion, so my lower body fell in an
awkward thump and my feet dragged in the dirt behind me. This was
so wrong, I thought stupidly. What could I do? What was going
on?
There was a truck up ahead
in front of us. I saw Hank go into the driver’s side. Were they
taking me to the hospital? It didn’t feel like that but I didn’t
know anything at this moment.
“
Please stop!” I cried out,
trying to raise my voice. To his credit, Daniel did stop. He
hoisted me up so I was on my feet again and I felt remotely in
control. He grabbed hold of my shoulders.
“
How are you feeling? You
don’t seem too well,” he said. I looked up at his face. His eyes
sunk into obsidian black holes. There was nothing good in him. It
ruffled me to the core.
“
I need to go inside,” I
whispered, my words slurring without my control. I tried my hardest
not to lose my balance but it seemed that my muscles were on the
verge of total atrophy. The fear of being totally helpless was
indescribable. If I wasn’t feeling numb already, that would have
done it.
“
You should come with us,”
he sneered. Yes, sneered. It wasn’t just in my head. My worst fears
were coming true. I tried to play it cool. Cool in the best way I
knew how. It got me to the front of the pit in packed rock
concerts.
“
I’m going to puke,” I
feigned while managing to put my hand to my mouth. It wasn’t that
far off, I think I could have hurled anywhere.
But he just dug his fingers
into my skin and put my face up to his. “That never bothered me,
darling.”
And then he was kissing me.
His slimy, slobbering tongue all over my mouth as I tried so hard
to keep it closed. In any other circumstance I would have drawn up
my stunt training skills and bopped him one up the nose, but I
couldn’t even move my arms. They were blocks of ice, laid down by
the sheer, rebellious failure of my nerves.
I’m drugged,
I thought, fleetingly. It was the most horrifying
thought of the day.
I turned my head to avoid
the disgusting, cold tongue that licked my lips and face. I looked
away. My brain focused on the dull details. The way the stars
looked above the dark mountains, the way the mountains were a moody
haze against the darker night sky, the way the bar and the town of
Red Fox barely threw any light towards the heavens. It was cold
enough outside to make me shiver in my long-sleeve shirt, the air
was fresh as anything except for the wafts of booze coming from
Daniel’s face. Was I about to go on autopilot? I didn’t even care.
And that sickened me with every tired ounce I had left.
And then I was on the
ground. My legs gave out in slow motion and I went along with them.
The back of my head hit the dirt without any pain. It just kind of
sank into the chilly, soft earth, as if it were a well-worn pillow,
waiting for my slumber.
I wanted to close my eyes
and pretend whatever was going to happen was just a dream, but I
couldn’t. They were open, observing everything. The moon behind
Daniel as he started to undue his belt and zipped down his fly. His
hands as they flew to my own pants and started fiddling with the
zipper. They looked like yellow talons, wrinkled and dry with slick
claws at the ends. I felt them slice part of my stomach near my
belly button but the pain was masked by the terror in my
heart.
I never thought it would be
like this. I never thought that if I was ever assaulted or raped,
that I would just lie back and take it. I had so many scenarios
that I had played out in my head. Where ever I was, I would spin
around and deliver my own defense. Maybe it was a kick to the
balls, or maybe it was some adrenaline-filled horror where I ended
up jabbing my keys into a guy’s neck. It was terrible but effective
and though I’ve doubted I would able to act without mercy, I was
now faced with the truth that I may be fully conscious and unable
to do a single thing. It didn’t seem fair.
Regardless, I tried to
fight Daniel off. It didn’t work. My hands were flying towards his
face in an awkward manner, unable to fully make contact with him.
He laughed and continued take off his pants until they were down by
his ankles. My own pants were not all the way off but they were
ripped and sticky, maybe blood from where he clawed at my stomach.
He then pinned one of my hands back above my head. This was the
most vulnerable, the most exposed, I had ever felt. I closed my
eyes and prayed that I could find the strength to fight
back.
I felt a surge flow through
me. I opened my eyes and saw Daniel’s face inches from mine, that
sinister snarl on his disgusting lips. His eyes weren’t even human
anymore.
I turned my head away from
him and looked away at the darkness between him and the truck. A
small, low figure skirted past. It moved awkwardly, but quick, like
a human running on all fours. It had a long leathery tail dragging
behind it. It disappeared around the truck. I looked back up at
Daniel to see if he had noticed. If he had, he probably welcomed
it. His face seemed to contort before my eyes, his nose stretching
out, growing, into a beak of some sort.
Then, a shadow passed in
front of it. I heard a metallic clink in the back of the truck and
a scraping sound.
And suddenly something dark
and heavy swept past my vision and with a CRACK! Daniel went flying
backwards off of me. I was dumbfounded.
“
Perry!” I heard a
disembodied voice cry. It was familiar.
I felt a hand touch my
cheek and I looked to my right. Dex’s head was there, poking over
me.
“
Are you hurt?” he asked,
his voice high and tight.
I tried to shake my head
but it barely registered.
I felt him pick me up
underneath the arms until I was up. I could barely hold myself up,
so Dex turned me around and I fell straight into him. I clawed at
his arms and back like I would never hold another person again. I
whimpered, unable to express any of the millions of things I was
feeling. He held me with one arm, his other holding onto a shovel
that he apparently just pounded into Daniel’s face.
“
I got you,” he whispered.
“Was it just this guy?”
No, I thought. It wasn’t.
There was Hank. There was an animal. I tried to speak but no words
came out. I lifted my head with all my might just in time to see
Hank coming around from the side of the truck.
Dex was fast. He spun
around and saw him. In that instance he let go of me and I held
onto the truck for support. Dex took the shovel and wielded it in
the air like a baseball bat towards Hank.
I saw the back of the
shovel hit Hank square in the face. I saw his face contort, then
crumple with the blow. A splash of red and white flew out from the
corner of his mouth. He flew backward and disappeared beneath the
truck.
I looked at Dex. Something
manic had taken over his eyes. He was almost grinning while his
eyes remained the most determined beams of pure hatred I had ever
seen. He raised his shovel in the air, prepared to bring it down on
Hank’s face.
“
No!” I managed to finally
scream. “Dex!”
Then I hunched over on the
truck, barely able to keep upright. My eyes averted from the
violence. I didn’t know what happened next, but after a grunt and a
long pause, I heard the shovel drop to the ground.
I felt him run over to me,
his arms taking me in his, his hand propping my face up.
“
Perry,” he yelled. “Hang in
there.”
My vision started to fuzz
out, along with the last few working components of my brain. My
consciousness was in and out after that.
I remember a
flashlight.
Some screams.
Doors slamming.
Bird’s voice.
I remembered being in a
car. The lights on the console. People driving. Lying on the
backseat.
I remember being lifted in
someone’s arms. Smelling sweet tobacco.
The lights of the
Lancaster’s porch.
People fussing and touching
me.
I remember being carried up
the stairs, seeing them rise and fall beneath me.
The bathroom. The toilet
bowl. Puking. My hair being held back. Thinking about what I ate
that day.
Then I was in the bathtub,
naked. The water was pink and warm. I wasn’t alone and I didn’t
care.
And then I was suddenly in
the room, in my pajama pants and tee shirt, being lowered onto my
side of the bed by Dex.
“
You’re safe now, Perry,”
said Bird’s voice. I gingerly rolled my head to the side, the
coolness of the pillow pressing against my cheek and looked at the
door. Bird was standing in the doorway, one hand on the knob, about
to leave the room. “I’ll be just outside your door all night. With
this.”
He raised his shotgun in
the air for emphasis and then stepped out into the hall, closing
the door behind him. I looked around the room, my eyes aching as
they rolled in their sockets. It was just Dex.
He was sitting beside me
and pulling the blanket up to my neck, tucking me in. He looked
terrible, like he had lost twenty pounds in the last few hours. His
eyes were melancholic and wired all at the same time. He smiled at
me, sweetly, sadly, and brushed the hair off my
forehead.
“
How are you feeling?” he
asked gently.
I wasn’t sure, so shook my
head slowly. Bad idea. The room began to spin.
“
Hey,” he pressed my
forehead with his hand. “Take it easy. It’s OK.”
“
I don’t remember much,” I
managed to say, surprised by the weakness of my voice.
“
That’s OK. That might be
better.”
“
You saved my life,” I
said. He looked away, embarrassed, and began to pull
back.
“
No,” I cried out while
pulling my hands out of the blanket and grabbing his arms. “Please
don’t go.”
He chuckled. “Perry, I am
not going anywhere.”
He straightened up and I
let go. He kicked off his boots, walked around to his side of the
bed and lay on top of the covers, rolling on his side to face
me.
“
I’m going to be here all
night, remember?” he reassured me.
It was silly for him to be
above the covers.
“
Get under the covers
then,” I said. He looked uneasy. I guess he felt it would be too
inappropriate considering what just happened but I couldn’t explain
how I just wanted him as near me as possible.
He hesitantly got under the
covers, still fully clothed.
I rolled over on my side
and stared at him. The room spun with the movement. Despite
everything that had happened, and the things my mind didn’t want me
dwelling on, I was too afraid to ask him for what I really
needed.
“
So what happened?” I asked
instead.
“
We should probably talk
about this in-”
“
I want to talk about it
now.”
He nodded and sucked on his
lip for a few beats.
“
Do you remember being with
those two guys?” he asked slowly.
“
Yes. Bird had told me they
may have been the guys who were attacked by the fox at-”
“
I’m going to fucking kill
Bird,” Dex muttered angrily. “He shouldn’t have told you
that.”
I was too sick to argue.
“So I talked to them. I don’t remember what they said but there was
something off.”
“
Did they buy you a drink?”
Dex asked.
“
Yes. A Coors
Light.”
“
Was it already
opened?”
I tried to think. “Maybe,”
I said. “I felt sick soon after. They took me outside. I tried to
tell you but I couldn’t. Then he…he attacked me.”
I started feeling a rush of
emotions building up inside of me. It felt so cliché, to start
crying while explaining this but I knew it would happen.
“
He didn’t…rape me,” I said,
trying to brave, trying not to blink. “But he would have if you
hadn’t shown up. Or worse.”
Dex’s eyes were a bit moist
too and dancing between extreme empathy and absolute
anger.
“
I am so sorry I wasn’t
there earlier,” he said softly, his voice cracking. I inched closer
to him and put my hand on his face. It was cold, his stubble
rough.